Chapter Nineteen
SUNDAY MORNING PETE and Jenna sat on the couch drinking coffee, neither wanting to leave before the other.
“Want some toast?” Jenna’s leg bounced nervously.
“You’re stalling.” Pete kissed her neck. “You have to be at the book sale in half an hour.”
“Do you blame me?” She set his coffee cup on a coaster and climbed onto his lap. Pete was bare chested, wearing just a pair of Levi’s. His skin was still warm and moist from his shower, and he smelled delicious. Jenna nuzzled against his neck.
“I’m getting used to this whole wake-up-to-Petey thing.” She ran her hands through his wet hair and kissed each cheek.
He wrapped an arm around her and rested his head back. She knew he loved when she stroked his cheek, and she did so now. He had shaved this morning, and his face was smooth and soft. Jenna ran her thumb over his lips and then kissed them lightly, feeling the effect of her love beneath her.
“Careful, or you’ll be late.” He opened his eyes and kissed her deeply. “I’m getting used to us, too, Jenna. In fact, I never want to go back to not being us.”
PETE’S WORDS CARRIED Jenna through the chilly morning. By midafternoon the sun had burned through the clouds and crowds of people milled around the annual book sale—and Jenna was still smiling like a schoolgirl in love. Cars lined up along Main Street waiting to pull into the public parking area behind the church. The parking lot had been packed tight since eight o’clock in the morning. Churchgoers came decked out in their Sunday best, and families rode their bicycles through the quaint town, stopping to check out the titles, which were lined up three boxes deep in the alley, covering the tops of long tables and spread on blankets on the lawn.
“Everyone here is going to know you’re a dirty girl if you don’t get that stupid grin off your face,” Amy teased.
Amy and Jenna sat on metal chairs in front of Abiyoyo, a specialty shop with upscale toys, gifts, and clothing. Behind them was a waist-high brick wall with a New England garden boasting colorful flowers and verdant foliage of varying heights and types.
“You’d be smiling, too, if it were you and Tony.” Jenna handed a red-haired woman change for her purchase, and Amy bagged the books she bought for her two young children, who were tugging on her shorts.
“Thanks for stopping by.” Jenna watched them walk away and turned her attention back to Amy.
“So, anyway, it looks like I might be moving to the Cape!” She and Amy squealed and hugged for the hundredth time that day. No matter how many times she said it aloud, it still didn’t feel real.
“I’m sickeningly jealous, but so happy for you.” Amy had on a pair of shorts and a light blue tank top. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail, and as she spoke, she tightened the elastic band, lifting her ponytail higher. She sat back with a sigh. “I can’t get over that you two are finally a couple. And when I see you two together, it’s like that’s how it’s always been.”
“That’s how it feels to us, too.”
“Have you told your mom you might be moving yet?” Amy asked.
Jenna’s pulse kicked up a notch. She took a deep breath and reminded herself that her mother was figuring out her own life, and that she wasn’t losing her mind. Relief came quickly as she recalled her mother’s confession. “Not yet. But I will. He just brought it up last night, and we didn’t make any final decisions. He just asked if I would consider it. If, or when, I move, my mom and I will still live close enough to see each other often.”
“If? I would stick with when.” Amy smiled and eyed a handsome guy in bike shorts flipping through a box of books. “It’s not like you have any obstacles. You rent your house, and you’re an art teacher, so you can work anywhere. Or maybe you can start painting again.” Amy raised her brows.
“That would be like two dreams come true. Me and Pete and painting on the Cape. Gosh, Amy, who would have guessed that our lives would turn out like this?”
“Oh no. I just realized that if you move here, I’ll be the only one of us not living here.” Amy’s eyes filled with worry. “If you guys are always together and I’m the only one who’s not, I’ll start to feel like a fourth wheel.”
Jenna draped an arm around her shoulder. “Ames, you already are our fourth wheel, and I’m our third. We need all four wheels to make the girlfriend bus go. That will never change. Besides, I can’t just quit work this close to the beginning of the school year. That would be irresponsible. Who knows when I can really move here?” The pieces of her life suddenly began swimming before her. She couldn’t leave the school without an art teacher, and she’d have to give her landlord notice. Neither was an insurmountable obstacle, and when she compared them to Pete’s declaration this morning, that it was time to put a stop to his father’s drinking, they paled in comparison.
Amy rolled her eyes and lowered her voice as she rose to help a customer. “You’ll make it happen, or I’ll make it happen for you.”
Jenna didn’t want to breach Pete’s confidence and tell Amy about Pete’s father, but she was having trouble holding it in, and Amy was one of her most trusted friends. She’d never kept secrets from Amy or their other friends before, and as she thought about sharing what Pete was going through, she realized how her priorities had shifted. How her heart had shifted. She hadn’t thought she could ever love anyone more than Amy, Bella, and Leanna, but as she ferreted away Pete’s secret, she realized that he’d moved to the head of the line. She waited for guilt to pump her to share the secret that was weighing heavily on her, and when it didn’t come, she knew she was making the right decision.
She turned her attention to a woman holding a stack of books and helped her set them on the table. “Wow, that’s an armful. I’m glad you found some you liked.”
“I always do.” The petite, gray-haired woman pulled a leather wallet from her purse. “I time my vacation around the annual sale, believe it or not. Pathetic, I know.” She shrugged with a smile.
“Not pathetic at all. Thrifty and smart.” Jenna bagged the books as the woman paid Amy. “Enjoy your vacation.”
“I’m in Wellfleet. How could I not?” The woman waved as she walked toward the parking lot.
“See? Everyone knows Wellfleet is the place to be. I still can’t believe I’ve gone all summer without seeing the man I wait all year to see. That shows me how little I mean to Tony.”
Although Amy hadn’t said much to Jenna about Tony not being there this summer, Jenna knew how upset she was. If the tables were turned, and she hadn’t seen Pete all summer, her heart would have been broken, too.
“He’s been texting you, and I think that tells you what he thinks of you more than his stupid work schedule,” Jenna offered, but she knew it wasn’t enough, not when Amy wore her love for Tony on her sleeve.
“I know, and it’s not his fault, but being stuck in the friend zone was a little easier when you were there with me.”
Jenna put her arm around Amy again. “I’ll always be there with you. That, you can count on. It sucks that you haven’t seen him, and I’m really sorry. I wish I could fix it for you.”
“You have your own life to figure out.” Amy sighed loudly, her brow wrinkled. “Besides, everyone says absence makes the heart grow fonder, so my fingers are crossed.” She crossed her fingers and held them up.
Jenna crossed her legs, toes, and fingers. “I’d cross my eyes, too, with the hope that absence really does make the heart grow fonder—especially since Pete and I will also be separated for a while. I’ll have to go back home for some period of time to work things out there.”
Amy crossed her eyes. “There. Now we’re both covered.”
PETE RAN HIS thumb over the rehabilitation and treatment counselor’s card for the millionth time in the past few weeks. He’d done it so often that the card stock was beginning to fray. Calling his brothers had been difficult, and listening to Grayson tell him it was about time had touched a nerve, but he knew Grayson was right, and Grayson’s anger had also confirmed that talking to his father alone this time in an effort to get him to seek help was the right way to handle the situation. Even though his siblings weren’t dealing with the effects of their father’s drinking on a near-daily basis, like Pete was, it had taken a toll on all of them, and it had definitely driven a wedge between them, even if everyone but Grayson pussyfooted around the topic. If they were going to heal as a family, it had to begin with his father’s recovery.
Pete considered calling Sky, but he’d protected her this long, what was another couple of weeks? He’d tell her everything once their father was on the road to recovery.
His cell phone vibrated with a text from Jenna. He wondered how long he would have let his father’s drinking ride if they hadn’t finally come together. Like most uncomfortable thoughts, he shoved it away, thankful that Jenna hadn’t turned tail and run when she found out.
The book sale is crazy busy and I miss you tons. How are you holding up? Talk to your family? I found a few books on surviving recovery written for the families of alcoholics. Want me to pick them up?
He never realized how much he could love a person, but he lived and breathed for Jenna. She’d not only supported his decision to take a firm stance with his father, but she’d also offered to skip the book sale to be there with him. And now she is spending the time she should be focusing on customers finding books for me. It was time for him to deal with this head-on. Jenna deserved a life free from his father’s disease, and he would do everything he could to ensure that she had it. Heck, he deserved a normal life, too, and he wanted that life with Jenna.
He sent her a text. I miss you, too. Talked to everyone except Sky. Calling the counselor now. Thanks for finding the books, and sure, please get them. Can’t wait to see you.
Pete patted his thigh, and Joey bounded to his side. Together they walked out to the barn. Pete pulled open the doors, inhaling the pungent smell of old wood, varnish, and paint. The aroma that he’d hoped to associate with his father’s recovery now left him a little empty. He ran his hand along the bottom of the boat, calculating the time his father would be in the rehab center if he agreed to go. The rehab counselor had said to plan on three to five weeks of inpatient care, depending on his father’s progress. His father had been in complete denial when his brothers had staged a full-on intervention, and he could only hope that with enough love—and enough one-on-one pressure—this time would be different. He had to believe that somewhere in his father’s heart he wanted Pete to have a chance at a full life with Jenna, just as he’d had with Pete’s mother.
His cell phone vibrated again, and he withdrew it from his jeans pocket and read another text from Jenna.
I know this is hard. Your mom would be proud of you, and one day your dad will realize all you’ve done and he’ll be proud of you for it, too. Xox.
He had his doubts about his father being proud of this particular effort, but with Jenna’s encouragement, he held on to a shred of hope that one day they’d both look back and the past two years would be history. A glitch in an otherwise warm and loving family history.
Pete took another long look at the boat—I’m not giving up on you, Pop—pulled the barn doors closed, and headed down the sandy path to the rocks overlooking the bay. He and Joey sat side by side on a large rock as he called the emergency number for the counselor and left a message. As the minutes ticked by, Pete’s anxiety mounted. He felt like a traitor, turning to the counselor behind his father’s back. Someplace deep inside, he knew he wasn’t a traitor. He was probably saving his father’s life, and he was definitely saving his own, but that knowledge didn’t quell the tightening in his gut.
Joey laid her chin on Pete’s lap and he stroked her fur. Since day one, Joey had trusted he’d feed her, care for her, and keep her safe from harm. She trusted him like he used to trust his father. Jenna’s words whispered through his mind. I think for some of us—me with my mom, and you with your dad—we have to learn to be just as selfless as our parents were. Maybe now it’s our turn to rescue them.
He turned her words over in his mind, and his perspective began to change. He rose to his feet as he pushed the guilt aside with a sense of finality, and by the time the counselor called back, Pete was bound and determined to get this done, but first he had one more phone call to make. Being worthy of someone’s trust meant more than protecting them from the life’s brutal realities. He dialed Sky’s number.
“Hey, big brother. What’s up?” Sky’s smile came through in her voice.
“Hi, sis. Do you have a sec, or are you busy?”
“You sound so serious. Is everything okay?”
Not even a little. “I always sound serious, don’t I?” He tried to laugh it off, and knew he failed when she remained silent. “Are you someplace you can talk or are you out?”
“Actually, I just pulled up behind Dad’s store. I know I told you that I’d wait to come out, but my hours got canceled at the co-op this weekend, so I figured, why not go see Dad? Besides, it’s Mom’s birthday. I thought he’d be lonely.”
Shoot. How could he have forgotten? So much for Pete’s plan of heading over to the store after talking to Sky and getting this thing over with.
“Really? You’re in town? Great.” Damn. He eyed Joey. “Come to my place. I have a new puppy who’s dying to meet you, and I’d love to catch up.”
“Okay, let me stop in and see Dad. Half an hour sound good? I just want to say hi to him and then I’ll come over.”
“Perfect.” Pete never thought he’d count himself lucky that his father was a functioning alcoholic during the day, but knowing that Sky wouldn’t see anything different from what she’d seen during any other visit drove the thought home.
Sky showed up thirty minutes later and ran across the grass toward Pete and Joey. She was wearing a long patchwork skirt, a tank top, and an enthusiastic smile as wide as Julia Roberts’s. She dropped to her knees and smothered Joey with kisses. Joey pawed at Sky’s hair and licked her cheeks.
“Pete! She’s so cute! I love her.”
Pete crouched beside Sky and hugged her. “Looks like she loves you, too, sis.”
Sky sat cross-legged on the grass as both she and Joey calmed down. Joey nipped at her fingers, and Sky was all too happy to lavish her with more love. Pete’s chest was tight at what he had to tell Sky, and as the day wore on and closing time for his father’s store neared, he knew he had little time before his father would hit the bottle and there would be no reasoning with him.
He noticed new ink on Sky’s shoulder and brushed her hair to the side. “New tat?” She’d begun getting tattoos after their mother died, and though most of them were easily hidden beneath her clothing, Pete wished he could get to the root of what caused her to wear her hurt in colorful, permanent ink, and help her heal.
“Yeah.” She craned her neck and looked over her shoulder.
Upon closer inspection, Pete made out the trunk of a tree, with deep roots that spread along her shoulder blade.
“It represents you and my other dork brothers. Roots? Get it?”
Pete arched a brow. Yeah, he got it, all right, and it was a great metaphor.
“I know it looks funny without the top of the tree, but when I was designing it, I realized that I have no idea what my life will be like, so I left it like a blank canvas. I’ll fill it in some other time.”
“Well, I’m honored.” He couldn’t help but wonder what type of tattoo his father’s alcoholism might incite—and he hoped that was the only thing it incited. He’d kept this from Sky for so long that he’d thought of a million ways she might react, the worst of which was spiraling right back down a dark and lonely tunnel, as she had after their mother died.
“Come on. Let’s go hang out on the deck and talk.” Pete reached for her hand.
Sky jumped to her feet. “Come on, Joey. He sounds serious. I might need reinforcements.” She took Pete’s hand, and they headed down the sandy path toward the house. “Are you going to lecture me about finding my niche?”
“I wasn’t going to. Although, now that you bring it up…”
She bumped him with her shoulder as they stepped onto the deck. He watched her settle into a chair and gather her long hair over one shoulder. She sighed and stretched her arms out on the armrests.
“You are so lucky to live on the water.”
“Yeah. I am pretty lucky, I guess.” Every second that passed made it more difficult for Pete to begin explaining. He leaned forward in his chair and took her hand in his once again, hoping the connection would ease the blow of his words.
“Sky, I need to talk to you about Pop.”
She smiled. “He looks great. You should have seen his face when I walked in. He was so surprised. Totally worth the drive.”
“Good. I’m glad.”
“Pete. You look like you have something really bad to tell me. Your face has that oh no look.” She drew her eyebrows together and pinched her mouth into a tight line, mocking him. “Whatever it is, it can’t be worse than when you told me about Mom—” Her hand flew to her mouth. “Oh no. Is Dad…?”
“No. No, Sky. Dad’s not dying.” Yet.
She let out a loud breath. “Oh, thank goodness. Then what is it?”
“This is really hard to say to you. I know how much you love Pop and that you look up to him.”
“Who wouldn’t? He runs his own business, he’s always in a good mood, he went to every one of my track meets and to my graduations, and he totally loved Mom with all his heart. Still loves her with all his heart.” She shrugged. “He’s the best father anyone could ever have.”
Pete looked down at his hands, then met her gaze with a serious one. “Sky, Pop has a drinking problem, and I’ve kept it from you, but it’s gotten out of hand.”
“Oh, please. He’s always had a few drinks, but that doesn’t mean he has a problem.” She crossed her arms over her chest.
“I know it doesn’t, but the fact that he drinks himself into a stupor every night does.” He paused, letting his words sink in.
Sky’s brows drew together again; then they relaxed and a smile began to curve her lips. “Right,” she said tentatively. A second later her eyes filled with worry. “Wait. What? You aren’t kidding?”
“It’s true, Sky. It started right after Mom died, and it’s only gotten worse.”
“No. You have to be wrong.” She shook her head. “No way.”
“Sky—”
She rose to her feet and paced the deck with Joey on her heels. “No way, Peter. You’re overreacting. What happened? Did he have too much to drink one night? Two? You have to be overreacting.”
“I wish I was.” Pete rose and touched her arm.
She shrugged him off.
“Sky, every night it’s the same thing. He drinks in Mom’s sewing room, same chair every night. He calls me so drunk he can’t do more than ramble about Mom.”
Sky’s lower lip trembled, and it was all Pete could do to give her the space her body language told him she needed.
“I’m sorry. I thought it was best to shield you from it.”
Tears streamed down her cheek. “Why are you doing this? Dad would never get that drunk night after night. Why are you trying to get me to believe this? Do you think it’s going to make me suddenly figure out my life or something? Because that’s all you care about.”
Pete had expected this reaction, but it still stung. “No. I’m telling you this because I am going to talk to him this afternoon and try to get him into rehab before he drinks himself to death. Sky, I don’t care if it takes you years to figure out your life, or your career, as long as you’re safe and happy.”
She scoffed and turned away.
“If you don’t believe me about Pop, just think about it. When’s the last time you saw him after dark?”
She spun around and snapped, “Last…” She looked away, then turned back and pointed at Pete. “Easter.”
“No, you stayed here on Easter, and on Christmas, and during every visit for the last two years.” He kept distance between them and fought the urge to reach out to her again. He knew Sky too well. Cornered, she’d strike like a viper. She needed to come to him on her own terms. She’d always been like that. Even as a little girl she’d refused to hear the things that she didn’t want to, until she had time to process them and found them to be true.
“That’s because you always have something going on and you invite me and Matt and Hunter, and…Wait. If that was true about Dad, they’d know about it.” She pulled out her cell phone and pressed a speed-dial number. “Hunter. I’m with Pete, and he…” She flashed a heated look at Pete while she listened to their brother.
She and Hunter had always been close. While Pete was her protector, Hunter, the second eldest, was more like a best friend to them all, especially Sky. Hunter was the ultimate peacemaker. Pete knew he’d never tell Sky the truth about their father without asking him about it first.
“Yes, I’m in Wellfleet.” She listened again. “Why?” Her nostrils flared as she listened to Hunter on the other end of the phone. “Wait, he says Dad—” She quieted again and thrust the phone at Pete. “He wants to talk to you.”
Pete took the phone from her trembling hand. “Hey, Hunter.”
“Dude, you’re telling her?” Hunter spoke a little louder than a whisper.
“Yes.”
“Everything?”
“Yes.” Pete looked at her damp eyes and felt his stomach sink. “Let me give you back to Sky.” He handed her the phone. “I’m sorry, Sky.”
She pressed the phone to her ear. “Is it true? Is Dad an alcoholic?” Her hand flew to her mouth and she turned away from Pete. “Mm-hmm. ’Kay. Love you, too.” She set the phone on the table and wept softly.
Pete moved behind her, aching to comfort her. “Sky, he’s still the same father you know and love, and he loves you to the ends of the earth.”
“Why…Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” Her shoulders shook with her sobs. “Why is he doing this?”
“Best I can figure is that losing Mom was too much for him.”
She turned to face Pete. “He looked fine when I saw him.”
“He does look fine during the day, honey. He’s a functioning alcoholic. I honestly don’t know if he drinks during the day, but he holds himself together somehow. At night, in his house, it’s a different story.” Pete opened his arms, giving her the option of stepping into the safety of his embrace.
Sky turned away again. “So everyone knows but me?”
“Yes, and that was my doing, not Hunter’s, Matt’s, or Grayson’s. So be mad at me, not them. You were so torn up after Mom died that I didn’t want you to worry.”
“I’m not a child, Peter.” She faced him again, red faced and puffy eyed. “You need to stop treating me like I am.”
He nodded. “You’re right, and I’m sorry.”
She stepped forward, just a few inches from him. “I have a right to know. I’m part of this family.”
“You are, and I’m sorry. I didn’t want you to worry about him when you were just getting your life back together.” He had been so sure that protecting her was the right thing to do, and now, watching his sister’s pain and hearing the anger and hurt in her voice, he reconsidered everything he’d believed.
She took another step closer and punched his chest with the side of her fist. “You should have told me. How can he do this? Every night? Are you sure?”
“I should have, and yes, I’m sure.”
“For crying out loud, Peter.” She banged her fist on his chest again and again.
Pete folded her into his arms, and she struggled and pressed against his chest to break his hold, until finally, her sobs took over and she collapsed against him, drenching his shirt with her tears. Pete stroked her back, as he’d done during those treacherous weeks after their mother died.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Sky.” His eyes welled with tears for the harsh reality he’d just revealed. “It’s going to be okay. I promise you it will. I’m going to take care of it.”
“How can it be okay?”
“Because this isn’t who Pop is. I didn’t give up on you after Mom died, and I won’t give up on him.” Flashes of the weeks after their mother’s death came rushing back to him. Sky had been so distraught that she’d stopped going to work every day and communicated less with Pete and their brothers. He’d gone to New York and spent two weeks with her. They’d talked about their mother and he’d offered to pay for a therapist, but she insisted that big brother therapy was all she needed. He’d kept close tabs on her after returning to the Cape, and thankfully, she’d come out of it okay. He only wished he could have the same effect on his father.
She pushed away from his chest and wiped her eyes. “What now?”
“Now I’m going to talk to Pop and make sure he goes into rehab. I’m involved with someone now, and I can’t be running out every night to drag him into bed. I can’t worry that one day I’ll walk in and he’ll be dead. This needs to happen.”
“Every night? Dragging him into bed? You’ve been taking care of him? Alone? All this time?” She searched his eyes.
He shrugged. “Someone had to.”
She gulped a breath and punched his chest again. “Why do you always take care of everyone?”
He caught her next punch midair. “Whoa. Why are you beating on me?”
“Because if you’re taking care of him every night, you’re not taking care of yourself every night. I want to hate you for not telling me. You always take care of everyone, but you don’t have to, Pete. You could have let me grieve on my own, and you could have told me about Dad. You could have let Dad deal with his own mess.”
Pete laughed. “Do you think, even for a minute, that I’d let you suffer on your own? Or let Pop disappear into the bottle for good? This is what love is, Sky. This is what family does.”
“No, this is what you do. Matty and Hunter aren’t here taking care of him. Grayson sure wouldn’t ever do it.” Her tears had stopped, and every step she took was determined as she paced a path across the deck. “You’ve been doing this for two years? Two years, Peter? What does your girlfriend think of all this?”
“Her name is Jenna, and she’s all for me getting him into rehab.”
“That’s good. At least someone is looking out for your interests. I want to be there when you talk to Dad.”
“No way.” Pete dug his keys from his pocket.
“Peter! I’m not a kid anymore. Yes, I was devastated when Mom died, but that was two years ago. I want to help Dad. I want him to know I know what he’s doing. Maybe that will push him into getting help.” She paced the deck, her long skirt swishing against her legs. “Maybe this is why I haven’t found my niche. I’ve been looking in the wrong places. I was thinking about coming home for the summer next year. I’ll come home now. I’ll help you with Dad.”
Pete couldn’t even begin to think of Sky giving up whatever dreams she might have to deal with their father, but he couldn’t push her away, either. She was right that she wasn’t a kid anymore, even if in his eyes she’d always be his baby sister. He lifted serious eyes to her and saw compassion and love—and something he hadn’t seen often enough. Conviction. At that moment, she resembled their mother more than she ever had before, and it gave Pete a shiver, and then a sense of pride in how far his sister had come.
“Mom would be proud of you, sis. I’m proud of you. We’ll talk about it. If Pop goes into rehab and you feel the same way a week from now, after you’ve had time to process all this…” He waved his hand in the air. “Then we’ll figure it out.”