Chapter Sixteen
PETE HADN’T EVER thought much about love or marriage. He’d attended friends’ weddings over the years, and he’d still never given the idea a second thought. He watched Jenna standing with her hands on her hips, her face pinched into a scrutinizing leer as she stared into her closet Wednesday morning. How did I go so long without you? With Jenna, he was possessive and jealous. She had her own quirks, but somehow they worked well together. He might think he was nuts if they hadn’t been silently courting each other for years, but during those years their emotions took hold and finally had the space to bloom.
“How can it be that difficult to pick a pair of sandals?” he said with a tender smile as he touched her cheek. He loved that she went to such great lengths to make sure things were just as she liked them to be. He knew she was nervous about her mom’s arrival, but he also knew that she took great pains like this every time she dressed. Bella and the others often teased her about it, but watching her in action gave him a whole new appreciation for Jenna and what she needed to feel comfortable, and he loved her even more for her Jennaisms. He couldn’t believe he’d almost let her slip away. It killed him to think he could have lost her before they’d ever had a chance, and he’d do anything—everything—within his power to ensure she knew how much he adored her.
Jenna slid her eyes to Joey, lying on her doggie bed a few feet away. “How can I explain this to a man?” She wore her green bikini and a pair of cutoffs, and she looked amazing. Her lower lip came out in a little pout that drew his arms around her. “I need to match my cover-up to my flip-flops. And it’s very important. If I pick the wrong ones, I might realize it when it’s too late and I won’t be able to change them.”
“Why won’t you?”
She sighed, with the cutest pout on her lips. “Because what if we’re already out?”
He wrapped his arms around her. “So we come back for them. I will never understand how that brilliant mind of yours works, but I love how you see things that no one else does. The beauty of rocks, the way you pull things together until they calm your obsessions. I want to be your obsession, Jenna.” He smiled—though he was only partially teasing.
“You have been for years.” She went up on tiptoes, and he met her halfway for a sweet kiss. “So you don’t think my OCD will drive you crazy?”
“Never.”
“I’ll make us late to get-togethers.”
He shrugged. “Being on time is for losers.”
“I’ll make you come back home if I decide my earrings aren’t the right ones, even if we’re already late.”
He kissed her forehead. “And I’ll turn the truck around and come back without hesitation. Right, Joey?” He leaned down and pet the pup’s head. Joey rolled over so he could scratch her belly.
“I’ll organize your entire house and you won’t be able to find anything.” She bit her lower lip, her cheeks plumping with her smile.
“I’ll make you a key today.” He planned on paying a visit to his father’s store today, and he’d make her a key while he was there. He sealed his promise with a kiss.
Jenna took his hand and led him into the living room. Sun streaked through the window, warming the room. Pete’s chest tightened with the memory of their lovemaking on the sofa and their admissions of their feelings.
She took her keys from the hook by the door and removed the key to her cottage. “Make one of these for you, too. But I will warn you, there’s a price to pay.”
He arched a brow.
“Darn it. I wish I could think of something sexy to say.”
“Baby, you don’t have to say anything. You’re always sexy.” After another heart-thumping kiss, Jenna returned to her closet to choose a pair of sandals while Pete cooked breakfast.
She came out of the bedroom wearing a white tank top over her bikini. She flung her arms up in the air and thrust her hip to the side.
“Ta-da!” She lifted each foot and wiggled her toes.
His eyes never left her face. “Sheer perfection.”
She swatted his stomach, then reached into the cabinet for plates. “I meant the sandals, not me.”
“Wait, you have feet?” He dodged another swat and glanced at her tan leather sandals with white embellishments. “They’re perfect, too.” He filled their plates with scrambled eggs and toast.
“What time is your mom arriving?”
Jenna’s smile faltered. “Soon.”
He reached for her hand and felt tension in her movements as he held her against him. She took a deep breath and melted against him. Tension relieved. He loved that he could have that effect on her.
“Babe, if you want me to stick around for the morning, I’m happy to.” He’d planned on talking to his father this morning with the hopes of convincing him to get help without having to force the issue, but if Jenna needed him, he’d remain by her side.
“I’m fine. Really.” Her words were stilted.
She was definitely not fine.
He kissed her forehead. “Every time I’ve seen you with your mom, you got along well. Is she really that different now?” He’d met her mother several times over the years. She tended to dote on Jenna, and her pride in her daughter was apparent in the things she said and the look in her eyes. He couldn’t imagine how much things had changed for Jenna to look so conflicted. Then again, he never would have imagined his father changing so much, either.
“We still get along.”
“Why do you look so worried? I know she’s going through a hard time, but you were so sure of how we needed to be there for our parents.” He ran his hands along her hips, letting her know she wasn’t alone with her worries. “What are you not telling me?”
Jenna lowered her eyes to his chest. “She’s acting really weird. She talks about things I definitely don’t want to talk about with my mother, it’s…nothing. Forget it. It’s nothing.”
That nothing was filled with everything. He lifted her into his arms and set her on the counter, then stood between her legs so they were eye to eye. “Babe, you don’t have to tell me what’s bothering you, but I’m here if you want to. Whatever it is, it can’t be that bad.”
Her brows drew together. “I’m fine. Really. She crosses lines these days, so I’ll just be careful how much I tell her.” She picked up a fork and filled it with egg, then offered it to Pete with a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Let’s eat before she gets here.”
They took their breakfasts onto the deck, and within minutes, Bella, Amy, and Leanna appeared, mugs in hand, wearing their bathing suits under sundresses. Amy dropped to her knees and loved up Joey.
“It’s about time.” Bella sat across from Pete. “Usually Jenna’s up early.” She wiggled her eyebrows.
Amy swatted her leg and then went back to petting Joey. “Ignore her. She has no manners.”
Pete met Bella’s teasing stare with one of his own. “She was up early.” Jenna’s cheeks pinked up as she set her hand on his thigh.
“Finally, a man who can give it right back to you, Bella.” Leanna sipped her coffee and smiled at Bella from behind her mug.
“Ha-ha. I’m so glad you two are finally together. I swear, Pete. I thought we were going to have to hang a banner out front spelling it out for you.” Bella held her palms up, pressing them forward with each word. “Jenna. Likes. Pete.”
He laughed and finished his breakfast.
“Jenna, I was thinking that we should take your mom over to the library with us today.” Amy glanced at Jenna’s plate with an arched brow. “You cooked?”
“Petey did.”
“If I call you Petey, will you cook for me, too?” Leanna asked.
“No.” Jenna leaned in to his side. “I told him that I wasn’t the best cook around.”
He draped an arm over her shoulder. “But you’re the best at a million other things. Teamwork.” He shrugged to make it seem like he was well versed in relationships, when the truth was Jenna made everything feel natural. They’d fallen into sync so easily that he was beginning to think he wasn’t meant to have a meaningful relationship until they came together.
“Aw, you guys are so cute.” Amy sighed.
Pete rose to carry their empty plates inside, and Jenna reached for his hand.
“I’ll get them. You cooked; just relax.”
He smiled down at her. “It’s okay. Visit with your friends. This will only take me a few minutes, and then I need to take off.” He glanced out at the road. “I was hoping to see your mom before I left, but I can catch up with you guys later.” Joey followed him inside the house.
Pete glanced out the window above the sink as he washed the dishes. Jenna tucked her feet up under her as she leaned forward and whispered to Amy and Bella. He couldn’t hear a word they said, but the smile on Jenna’s lips told him that she was as happy as he was. After he washed the dishes, he went into the bedroom to gather his things in his overnight bag. Joey trailed his every step. Jenna had made the bed with hospital corners, and it made him laugh a little under his breath. Jenna. Several paperbacks were stacked neatly, and upon closer inspection, alphabetized by author, on the bedside table, and he noticed that even the rocks she kept on the floor by the door were perfectly lined up. He grabbed his bag and went into the bathroom to collect his toiletries.
Jenna was on the deck with her mother when he went outside, bag in hand, Joey on his heels. Miranda was taller than Jenna by a few inches. She wore her hair shoulder length, and she wore a tight red dress that barely covered her thighs. Jenna had mentioned that she was going through a hard time and dressing younger, and still Pete had to mask his surprise with a fake cough. If the short dress wasn’t enough to tip him off, the heavy makeup on a face that he’d always seen almost bare would have.
“Pete? I didn’t know you were here.” Miranda embraced him, and her smile lit up when she noticed Joey sniffing around her feet. She crouched to pet her.
He shot Jenna a look over her shoulder. Didn’t know? What is going on? It never dawned on him that Jenna wouldn’t tell her about them.
“Were you fixing something?” Miranda’s eyes bounced between Jenna and Pete as she ruffled Joey’s head.
Jenna nibbled on her lower lip and set a pleading gaze on Pete. Bella and Amy had the same look in their eyes. He got the hint, but it pissed him off—and royally confused him.
“Yeah. The sink.” He touched Jenna’s arm. “You should be all set now. Call me if you need anything.”
Jenna let out a breath. “Okay. Thanks, Pete.”
He nodded and hoped her mother didn’t see the confusion or the anger he felt. He climbed into his truck after Joey jumped in, and a minute later Jenna was standing at the window of his truck.
“Pete,” she whispered. “I’m sorry. I didn’t plan on not telling her, but she started right up with, Where are the hot men?” Jenna let out a frustrated breath. “I didn’t want her getting into our business.”
He didn’t know what to say. He was hurt and angry, but the sincere, worried look in Jenna’s eyes softened his annoyance. He glanced at Amy and Bella ushering Jenna’s mother into the cottage.
“You could have warned me, babe.” He stroked her cheek.
“I’m sorry.” Jenna put her hand on his. “It was a split-second decision. I just…She talks about sex and stuff, Pete. She’s not like she used to be, and I don’t want her in that part of our lives.”
“Babe, I get it, but I’m not a liar or a sneak. I can’t look into your mother’s eyes and pretend I’m not falling for her daughter. You’re either all in or you’re not. I’m all in. Can’t you just define boundaries? Tell her what aspect of our lives are off-limits?”
Jenna nodded, but the worry in her eyes seemed to magnify with his words.
“Jenna, is there something else going on?”
Her mother came back outside laughing with Bella and Amy. Jenna took a step back from the truck. He had half a mind to step from the truck and tell her mother himself, but again, Jenna’s pleading look kept him in line.
He ran his hand through his hair and spoke quietly. “Do whatever you need to, but after all this time, the last thing I want to do is pretend you’re not everything to me.”
JENNA SPENT THE day with her mother and Amy at the beach. Her mother wore enormous sunglasses and a bathing suit with cutouts at the waist. Miranda Ward was petite like Jenna, without the mammoth-sized bust, and Jenna had to admit that she looked great for a woman in her late fifties. But she lowered her sunglasses and leered at every guy who walked by, and Jenna was mortified. She’d tried to dissuade her, but her mother’s retorts came quick and sharp. Oh, please. They know they’re hot. Or, I’m not doing anything more than looking. Maybe you should look, too. Or the one that grated on Jenna’s nerves the most. I settled for years with your father. He never looked that good a day in his life. No more settling for me.
Her mother’s comments about her father put Jenna on the defensive. It was a struggle not to snap at her and remind her that she’d once loved everything about him, from his paunchy stomach to his dry personality and silver hair. But she knew from experience over the weeks before she came to the Cape that comments like that would only feed her mother’s venom toward him and put Jenna in the middle of an even more uncomfortable situation.
Jenna had been mulling over what Pete said all day, and she knew he was right. She needed to tell her mother about their relationship, and she could define boundaries with her mother. She had to, and she wanted to, but every time she tried to bring up Pete, her mother would point out another twentysomething guy on the beach, or bring up a memory of a guy she dated before she’d met Jenna’s father, and Jenna held back.
When they arrived back at Jenna’s cottage in the afternoon, Jenna promised herself she’d say something.
“That was such a fun afternoon,” her mother said as she carried her beach bag to the deck. “Jenna, you’re here with all these available men. I just don’t get why you never seem to date.”
“Mom, I have to—”
Her mother set her bag on the table on the deck and interrupted her. “And Peter?” She fanned her face. “He’s a doll, baby. If one of you ladies don’t go after him, I will.”
Amy choked on her water, and Jenna elbowed her.
“Mom! He’s at least twenty years younger than you.” And he’s mine!
“That didn’t stop your father.” Her mother took her bag and went into the cottage, leaving Jenna to stew on her words.
“I thought you were exaggerating about her,” Amy said. “But she was like a woman in heat on the beach. I swear she said something about every man who walked by.”
“No kidding.” Jenna’s insides were simmering. She felt as though she was on the verge of blowing up, and it took all of her efforts to remain calm. She stomped back to the car with Amy by her side and grabbed the beach chairs from the trunk. She reminded herself that what her mother was doing was a hundred times less painful than what Pete was going through with his father.
“How am I going to tell her about Pete? You heard her on the beach, talking about all those guys. I don’t even want her thinking about Pete that way.”
Amy laughed. “Too late. She clearly has thought about him in that way already, so if I were you, I’d nip it in the bud.”
“Right. I’ll get right on that.” Jenna rolled her eyes. “Library in an hour?”
“Sounds good.”
PETE HELPED HIS father stock the shelves with a shipment of paint. His father had been busy with customers when Pete arrived earlier in the day, so Pete had gone to work on a boat repair at the marina. He’d needed the time to calm down anyway, as he was still upset over Jenna keeping their relationship from her mother—even after he’d confided in her about his father. And the fact that she hadn’t told him she’d done it made it even worse. He knew she had her reasons, and by the time he returned to his father’s store a few hours after lunch, he was pretty much over it, but he worried about her. Whatever she wasn’t sharing with him about her mother was obviously eating away at her, and he could only hope she’d grow to trust him enough to open up. He sent her a text before heading into the hardware store. He knew she didn’t carry her cell phone, but she’d promised to check her messages when she was back at the cottage.
Hey, babe. Sorry I was upset. Do whatever you feel is right. I’m not going anywhere. Miss you.
He noticed that his father was moving slower than normal, an indication that he’d had very little sleep last night. That was okay. Pete hadn’t had a lot either, and he was thankful his father hadn’t called in the middle of the night. He treasured the night he’d had with Jenna. His mind drifted to making love to Jenna in her cottage, and his body went hot. He struggled to push the lustful thoughts away, scrubbing his face, focusing on Joey as she sniffed around the store, and finally turned his attention back to his father.
“Pop, can we sit down for a minute?”
His father looked at him out of the corner of his eyes while he lifted a can of paint to the shelf. “I’ve got work to do.”
“Yeah? So do I. It’ll only take a minute.” He knew this wasn’t going to be easy, and he hated how his stomach clenched tight at the prospect of bringing up his father’s drinking, but he had to try.
“I’ve got three more boxes in the back to unload.” His father wouldn’t meet his gaze. He rubbed his hands on his faded jeans and pulled at his leather belt. It was the same belt he’d worn for as long as Pete could remember. His father was a creature of habit—and Pete hoped his drinking was a habit he could break.
“Luckily you’ve got enough paint on the shelves for the next hour. Come on, Pop. Five minutes.” Pete arched a brow and set a hand on his father’s shoulder. He felt his father exhale. A reluctant acceptance of the inevitable.
“Fine. Five minutes,” he grumbled under his breath as he ran his eyes over Pete’s face. “You look different.”
“Yeah, so do you.”
His dad laughed. “Nothing different in this old man, but you? You’ve got a spark in your eyes.”
He was surprised to hear that when he felt like his body was on fire and every nerve was strung tight.
“Sky called me last night,” his father said.
Pete drew his brows together. “Yeah? What did she want?” They’d never discussed the fact that Pete protected Sky from his father’s drinking, and Pete wondered if his father had figured it out. He’d have to be blind not to notice how many times Pete had swept Sky away to his house under the pretense of wanting to spend more time with her rather than have her spend the night at his father’s house.
“She said she’s thinking of coming for a visit.” His father rubbed his chin.
“It’d be nice to see her,” Pete said to assuage his father, and made a mental note to call Sky again. He thought he’d taken care of this little visit.
“Well, looks like we may have company.” His father’s eyes drifted to the photograph of Pete’s mother beneath the counter, pushing Pete’s mind back to the reason he’d come.
He’d thought about how to bring up his father’s drinking a million times throughout the morning and finally decided the best tactic was indirect.
“Pop, I met someone.”
Neil smiled and lifted his hands in the air. “Finally. I was getting worried about you.”
Pete shook his head, agitation dulling his father’s jest. “I go out with women all the time.” I just don’t see them more than a few times. “I didn’t just meet her, but we just started dating. You know her. Jenna Ward.”
“Oh.” His father raised his brows. “Jenna Ward. I always liked Jenna. What took you so long?”
“My life isn’t exactly conducive to long-term relationships.” He held his father’s gaze and saw discomfort skate across his face as he shifted his eyes away. “Pop, we need to talk about this. I really like her, and I can’t keep coming over at all hours of the night to take care of you.”
“I don’t need you to come over.” His father waved a dismissive hand and stepped away.
“Pop.” He followed Neil back to the paint aisle and watched as his father began stocking the shelves again. Pete put his hand on his father’s arm, stopping it in midair. “Pop, this isn’t going to go away by ignoring it.”
His father pulled his arm from his grasp and set his eyes on the paint can, his jaw set firm. Pete knew he was raging his own silent battle, and he felt guilt grip him again. When Neil raised his eyes, they were narrow, determined.
“I love you, Pete, but why can’t you do as your brothers and sister do and go live your life and let me live mine?”
“Let you…Pop, really? Is that how you see this? As me messing with your life? You know why they let you live your life? Because it’s easier, and because you call me, Pop, not them. Me.” Anger brewed in Pete’s gut. “The last thing any of them need is to have their lives messed up by this nightmare.”
His father fisted his hands, and his cheeks reddened. Those were the only visible indications that he’d heard Pete’s words. With a deep exhalation, he calmly went back to shelving the paint.
“You’ve always been afraid to commit to a woman, Pete. It sounds like I’m a good excuse for you not to.”
Pete ground his teeth together to keep from yelling. “You know what, Pop? I’m not afraid to commit to Jenna. I already have, but I can’t live a normal life when I have to come drag your drunken butt into bed every night. Mom’s gone, Pop. She’s not coming back, and this double life you’re living? She’d be ashamed of it.” They were the last words he’d expected—or wanted—to say, even if he meant every word.
The color drained from Neil’s face. He set a hand on a shelf, as if Pete’s words hit with the impact of a bullet and he needed the shelf to remain erect.
Pete grabbed his arm. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.”
His father shook his head, and when he looked up, his eyes had turned to liquid steel, but his tone was calm and even. “Son, I think you’d better leave.”
No way. The can of worms was open and Pete wasn’t about to stop there. “No, Pop, I’m not leaving. We need to talk about this, even if it’s difficult. I worry about you.”
“You have no idea what it’s like to lose the person you loved most in this world, and I pray that you never do. I know you worry about me, and you know I love you for it. But do yourself a favor, Peter. Go live your life, and stay out of mine.” His voice was as icy as his words, and when he walked away, Pete felt his heart split down the middle. Living his own life sounded easy, even doable. But he could no sooner turn his back on his father than he could walk away from Jenna.
“This isn’t the end, Pop.”
His father stilled.
“She was my mother, and she’d be ashamed of me if I didn’t try to help you. And whether you choose to remember it or not, you have kids who love you, and you owe us more than this.”
His father’s neck bowed, but he didn’t turn to face Pete. He stood still, staring at the floor, and Pete couldn’t imagine what was going through his head.
“I’m not giving up on you.” The promise sailed heated and honestly from Pete’s lips. “You have a lot of years left. Years to refit boats with me, years to meet your future grandchildren. Mom died, Pop. You didn’t.”