The rest of the day is going by relatively well. Devon mostly keeps to himself, which allows me to get on with booking our trip. The flights are astronomical, and the hotel is an eye-watering three thousand dollars per night. That’s because it’s the presidential suite with four bedrooms and unparalleled views of Central Park. I wasn’t looking forward to spending every minute of my day with Devon so close, but I can’t help the little spark of excitement that ignites when I see the pictures of the hotel we’re going to be staying at.
“Mmm, mmm, mmm. Is heaven missing an angel? Because I think I’ve found her right here.”
With a smile on my face, I look up from my mirror to see Ritchie leaning against the doorway of my bedroom. “I could have sworn I closed that.”
Pushing himself away, he walks toward my bed, sitting on the edge. “I think your subconscious wants to leave the door open, so I can spy on you when you get changed. You know you secretly want me. Let it all out. You’ll feel much better for it.”
I can’t help but laugh and play along. I place one hand over my heart. “How can I possibly show you how I really feel? I’m way too unworthy of you, Lord and Master.”
Ritchie smirks. “Say that to Mr Condom, and he’ll have you on your knees within seconds.”
I shake my head, snorting. “Is everything about sex with you?”
He laughs as he stands. “Hey, my girlfriend’s a ballerina. Everything is always about sex. You should see how high her—”
I put my hand up, stopping him. “I don’t want to know about it.”
Smirking, he shakes his head. “Jealousy is an evil thing, Andi.” As he reaches my door, he turns around. “What time are you heading out?”
I check my watch and see it’s already seven thirty. “In about thirty minutes. Charlie’s taking me for something to eat before we hit the bar.”
Ritchie points his finger toward me. “Good thinking. You need something to soak up all the alcohol you’ll consume tonight.”
I turn around to face him. “Speaking of which, will you grace me with your presence tomorrow morning for our usual greasy hangover cure?”
“I’m sorry to disappoint you, darling, but I think I’m going to be pulling an all-nighter.” He winks at me, making me roll my eyes.
“I don’t want to know. Just give me a call if you change your mind.”
“Will do.”
“When are you going to leave?” I ask.
“Not until ten. She’s performing again tonight and has the rest of the weekend off.”
I nod as he leaves and then get back to putting on the rest of my make-up. As I place my mascara down, I glance at my work glasses. If I could accidently step on them, I would. In fact, nothing would give me more pleasure.
Looking back up, I inspect my make-up once more and then brush my mass of wavy light-brunette hair. Once done, I get up and inspect myself in the mirror. I don’t want to look too slutty, but I certainly don’t want to look too virtuous either. That’s why I opted for a slim, v-neck red jumper with a somewhat short, black zip-up skirt. I wondered whether to wear my ballerina shoes, but opted for my black three-inch heels instead. I won’t be walking much tonight, so at least I know my feet won’t kill me too much.
Needing reassurance, I walk out of my bedroom and into the living room where Ritchie’s watching an episode of The Simpsons. He turns to look at me.
“Honest opinion,” I say. “Does this scream sexy, but not too sexy? Or do you think I should change my skirt? Something longer maybe?” I bite my lip.
He rolls his eyes. “Andi, no matter what the fuck you put on, you’ll still look sexy. Even that fucking schoolteacher shit Devon makes you wear looks sexy as hell. No wonder he needs condoms every Friday. He probably uses them all up because he can’t get the image of you in those sexy round glasses and long skirt out of his head. Shit, even I’m getting a hard-on thinking about it.”
I sigh. “A simple yes or no will do.”
“Andi, you look great. Stop fussing.”
I smile. “Thank you.” I curtsy and giggle as the doorbell rings. I skip over to the door. “That’ll be Charlie.” I open it to see him standing there holding a box of Thornton’s chocolates. “Ooh, my favourite.”
Smiling, he hands them over. “Why do you think I bought them? Nothing but the best for my little sis,” he says, looking me over and frowning. “But you don’t look so little anymore. Are you sure you want to wear that?”
Shaking my head, I move in to kiss him on the cheek. “Thank you for the chocolates.”
“You’re welcome, Andi-Pandy.”
I roll my eyes. “You haven’t called me that in years.”
He laughs. “It’s funny how you forget things, then they just pop into your head.”
As I smile, I look over his attire. He’s wearing a pair of jeans and a white v-neck t-shirt. “Have you been working out?” I ask, squeezing his bicep. “When did you get so buff?”
He laughs. “I’m in the army. I have to be fit.” He nudges me. “Plus, all the girls dig it.” He winks at me, causing me to groan.
“On that note… Come on in,” I say. “I’ve just got to grab my bag. I know Ritchie wants to say hi.”
Charlie follows me through the door, and Ritchie jumps up from the sofa. “Charlie, my man, how are you?”
They shake hands. “I’m good, thanks. Glad to be home.”
“I bet.”
“How’s the girlfriend?” Charlie asks. I know he’s only asking to fish for information. Even after all this time, I still believe he doesn’t trust Ritchie to be under the same roof as his little sister.
“Good,” Ritchie replies with a smile. “I’m staying with her this weekend. I’m just waiting for her to finish work.”
Charlie nods and turns to me. “Are you ready? I told my lot we’d meet them at nine. Plus, I have an Uber waiting for us outside.”
As I grab my cardigan and bag, I almost salute him. “I’m ready.” I turn to Ritchie. “Have a great weekend with Monique.”
He raises a thin eyebrow at me. “I’m sure I will.”
My brother chuckles. “Lucky bastard,” he whispers under his breath, but not soft enough for Ritchie and I to not hear.
As we walk toward the door, Ritchie scratches his head with a smile. “Oh, I know I am.”
I place a finger in my mouth and pretend to retch. “Oh, please.”
“See you later, Ritchie,” Charlie hollers. “Enjoy your weekend.”
“Oh, I will!” he shouts back just as we walk out the door.
As I close it behind me, Charlie offers me his arm. I take it with a smile and look up at him. “It’s so nice to have you back,” I say, leaning my head against his shoulder. I miss him so much when he’s gone. I have no idea how families used to do it in the days when there were only letters and the occasional phone call for communication.
He leans down to kiss the top of my head. “It’s nice to be back.” I look back up at him with a goofy smile. “There’s just one thing I ask of you tonight,” he says, a pained expression on his face. I frown. “Don’t go flirting with any of my mates. I like them too much to spoil their faces.”
Shaking my head, I tug at his arm. “Let me get this straight,” I say as we start heading down the stairs toward the Uber. “If I flirt with your friends, you’re going to take it out on them?”
Charlie opens the car door for me to get in. “Yes.”
He swiftly shuts the door, halting any response I may have. I let out a frustrated sigh before he climbs in the other side of the car.
“Latino’s on Brent Street, please.”
The driver nods, pulling away from the curb. I take a moment to look out onto the busy street as passing pedestrians hastily make their way to their destinations. That’s the thing about living in a city. Everyone’s always rushing.
“So, how’s Devon treating you?”
Quickly, I turn my head toward Charlie. “Great,” I lie. I always tell him “fine” or “great.” I think I even used “spiffing” once.
“How do you feel about seeing him after work?”
I shrug, trying to feign nonchalance. “It doesn’t bother me. You two have been friends for years.” That’s one of the reasons I put up with it. My brother and Devon are thick as thieves, but as I got older, Devon started seeing his friend’s annoying baby sister as an even more annoying older sister.
I watch as his lips twitch into a smile. “It’ll be nice to catch up. So many things to do—so little time.” Looking down, he grabs my hand and threads his fingers through mine.
I frown. “What do you mean? Don’t tell me you’re shipping off to Germany again so soon? We’ve only just gotten you back.”
He doesn’t look up, clasping his other hand over our joined ones. “No. It’s nothing like that.” He looks up, plastering a smile on his face as he stares at me. “You’re stuck with me for a little while.”
I furrow my brows at him. The mere fact that he’s acting strangely makes my hairs stand on end. “What are you not telling me?”
Patting my hand, he releases a breath. “Nothing. Let’s not spoil this evening. I’ve just gotten back and don’t want to talk about work. Not until I have to anyway. Let’s just concentrate on the here and now. Can you do that for me?”
I’m not happy, but when I see the look on his face, I nod. I have a feeling he’s hiding something, and I have a feeling it has to do with him having to go back to Germany sooner than I had hoped. It’s always hard on me and my dad each time we have to say goodbye to Charlie, but it’s been ten times worse since my mother died. When someone is as young as my mother was, no one expects him or her to be whisked away in the blink of an eye. None of us have ever gotten over my mum’s death. How can we when there’s no closure? When Charlie leaves, I always find myself pleading with God to keep him safe.
“We’re here,” Charlie says, interrupting my thoughts. As quickly as he can, he pays the driver and then we head into the restaurant where we’re promptly seated.
“Have you gotten in touch with Mandy yet?” I ask after the waiter takes our drink order.
Charlie shuffles a little in his seat before leaning back leisurely. “I’ve only just gotten back, and you’re already playing matchmaker?”
I shrug. “I just know Mandy likes you.”
Charlie’s eyes gaze around the restaurant until they land on a pair of long legs walking toward our table. As she passes, I notice the smile she gives him. I also notice him watch her as she walks away, blatantly looking at her arse.
“Don’t you ever stop?” I ask, exasperated.
“What?” His eyes widen. “I can’t help it if all the ladies dig me.”
“A girl in every port, huh?”
He plucks at his t-shirt. “That’s me. In my line of work, you have to be able to love ‘em and leave ‘em.”
As the waiter comes with our drinks, I ask, “Don’t you ever get lonely, though?”
“I have no time to be. Besides, why tie myself to one girl when I can have so much fun with so many?”
I roll my eyes. “Did you just make that line up?
He lifts his glass of beer and winks. “I believe I did.”
I shake my head as we clink glasses. “I can see my older brother hasn’t quite grown up just yet.”
He shrugs. “I think it’s the army mentality. We work hard and we play hard. Never a dull fucking moment.”
“Hey, watch your language.”
“Yes, Mum,” he mumbles with a playful smile.
When I see his smile disappear, I say, “It’ll be three years soon.”
Charlie looks away, but not before I notice his Adam’s apple bob as he tries to swallow his emotions. “If I ever catch the fucker who did this, my fist coming at him will be the last thing he ever sees.”
I look down at the napkin in my lap, trying to keep my own emotions in check. “I still phone the police every week …”
Charlie huffs. “And what fucking good does that do? It’s been almost three years, Andi. There’s no way they’re investigating it anymore.”
“I spoke with the inspector last week, and he said—”
“Anything he could just to get you off his back.”
I sigh. Leaning forward, he offers me a sympathetic look. “You know that as the case gets older, the clues get colder. What more could they possibly know now that they didn’t know then?” I hang my head. I know he’s right, but there’s one word I have clung to since that fateful night. One word that rolls around in my head day in/day out…
Hope.
Where would one be without it? Life goes on, and the things around you change. You change. But what good would any of it be without the knowledge that things can get better? Without the knowledge that—one day … hopefully sooner than later—my mother’s killer will be caught?
“Are you ready to order?”
The waiter’s voice snaps us out of our sombre conversation. After we order, I lean toward Charlie. “When did we get so serious?” I say, trying to inject a little playfulness back into the conversation. It works. Charlie offers me the smile I had missed for so many months.
“I think it’s an age thing. We’re both getting old.”
I huff. “Speak for yourself.”
He looks at my outfit before speaking. “Well, tonight is definitely a change from how I saw you at work. You looked positively boring there.”
My mouth parts in shock. “Thank you!” I jibe, causing Charlie to snigger. “It’s not my fault you’ve handed your possessiveness over to your best friend.”
Charlie nods with a smile. “It’s good to see you’re being looked after in my absence.”
“More like smothered,” I say under my breath.
“Hey. Don’t knock it. You’re a good girl, Andi, and that’s only because we all raised you right.”
I shake my head with a frustrated smile, but I know part of what he says is right. I could have gone off the rails after Mum died. In fact, I very nearly did. I stopped eating much, and anything I did eat, I threw back up. I became so thin because I thought I looked ugly—both on the outside and on the inside. Nothing mattered to me after Mum was gone … until Charlie made me see just how much my self-destruction was affecting my dad. He made me see that I had become selfish, even though I hadn’t meant to. It was only when I saw the pain in my father’s eyes that I knew I had to change. I knew I had to better myself because we were the only family my dad had left.
“You certainly did,” I answer, taking a sip of my drink. How can I say otherwise?
Our food comes soon after that, and we start talking about Dad, work, and life. It’s these moments I cherish with Charlie.
He seems to be in a hurry, constantly checking his watch. True to being a soldier, he has to be on time. If it’s on the hour, it has to be on … the … hour. Not a minute after. Within twenty minutes, our plates are empty and Charlie’s asked for the bill.
“Are you ready to meet my other family?” Charlie asks after we’ve paid.
“As I’ll ever be.”
“Hey,” he complains, “don’t look too enthusiastic. I may just change my mind about taking you.”
As we walk out of the restaurant, I nudge him. “Every girl loves a man in uniform.”
“That’s it! I’m taking you home.”
I laugh. “Oh, come on, Charlie. I’m only winding you up.” Part of me is, but another part of me isn’t.
We get into the waiting Uber, and Charlie tells the driver which bar we’re going to. As we pull away, Charlie receives a text message.
“It’s Devon. He’s already waiting and just wants to know how long we’ll be.”
As he starts typing something back, my stomach forms a knot. I hate the fact that my heart reacts every time I know I’m going to see him. My head and heart always wage a war.
I hate him.
I love him.
He’s an arsehole.
He’s so dreamy.
He’s a womaniser.
He’s so sexy.
No wonder men think women are so fickle.
I swallow. “How long is it until we get there?”
Charlie looks up and out the window. “Should only be another five minutes.”
Immediately, my nerves pick up. Without meaning to, I bite my lip. When I rub my hands together, I find that they’re clammy. Is it hot in here all of a sudden?
I close my eyes, berating myself. He’s just a man. I can deal with him without secretly wishing he would lick me all over.
“We’re here,” my brother chimes, making my head snap up. I see Devon standing outside and when I do, my breath catches. He’s wearing a pair of low-cut jeans and a dark v-neck top. It looks black, but it’s hard to tell. Maybe it’s the navy one he likes. I know that’s his favourite.
Jeez, what the fuck is wrong with me?
When the car comes to a stop, Charlie climbs out and offers me a hand. As he pays the driver, I watch Devon approach, his eyes on mine. My heart skips a beat at his intense stare. His hair has been cut recently, making his eyes stand out that much more. The streetlights dance in them, making them sparkle.
“Devon, my man,” Charlie says, shaking his hand. “How are ya?”
Devon pats him on the back. “Good. It’s great to see you. I didn’t get a chance to ask you earlier, but I hope you’re staying a little longer this time.”
I watch as something passes over my brother’s face, but it’s quickly gone. “You’ll be practically begging to get rid of me by time I have to head back.”
Devon laughs. “I highly doubt that.” He looks at me, and his smile disappears. “Andi, you look lovely this evening.”
I swear he said that with clenched teeth. He really can’t stand paying me a compliment.
“Thank you,” I simply say.
“Shall we head in?” Charlie asks, thankfully stopping Devon’s glare.
We both nod, heading in the direction of the bar. As my brother and Devon walk in front of me, I grab the opportunity to take a few deep breaths. I have a feeling this is going to be a long night.