Chapter Eighteen
Rachel
I was sitting at the desk on Thursday, lost in a daydream about James. As much as I tried to think of him as my boss, and hopefully my friend, I couldn’t help feeling that it could be more. I couldn’t get them out of my head and sometimes felt like I was losing it. I was definitely crushing hard on him and was excited to see where things might go.
Just then, the door swung open, as James and Nell walked in.
“I don’t want to stay here today, Daddy. Can I please go outside? I want to do something fun.” Nell said.
“Well, I’m really busy today honey, but if Rachel wants to take the rest the day off, I’ll let her take you somewhere; it’s okay with me,” James said, as he was looking at me.
“Of course, I’d like to take you out, Nelly-girl,” I said, watching her face light up brightly.
“Really?” Nell asked, almost as if she didn’t believe what I was saying.
“Yes, really. In fact, I know a bakery that’s not too far away from here that serves really great croissants,” I said. I knew Sadie would love to meet Nell, and I figured Nell might love to try the croissants instead of her customary peanut butter sandwich. This was the perfect opportunity to take her there. “That is,” I looked at James, “if it’s okay with your dad.”
James smiled. “That’s okay with me, on one condition,” he said, immediately causing a look of concern on Nell’s face. “You may go, but only if you bring back a croissant for me,” he said.
I laughed and agreed, and Nell just giggled in relief. We said our goodbyes and James headed up to his office, while Sadie and I headed out to my car.
“Do you want to ride in my car or would you rather walk?” I asked Nell, wondering if it was too far for her since it was about seven blocks away.
“Ooh, let’s walk!” Nell said, beaming.
I could tell that she just wanted to spend some time outdoors. She had been cooped up quite a bit lately and was craving some time outside.
“Okay, walking it is!” I said, and we started walking on down the street.
As we walked, I thought about the different things I could ask her about to start a conversation. “How was school?” I asked.
“It was good. Today was a kid’s birthday, so we got cupcakes at school,” Nell said.
“Nice. Has that happened before?” I asked her.
“No, his birthday is the very first out of all of our class,” she said.
We made our way down the street making small talk. She told me all the ideas she had for what she wanted to do when she grew up. She wanted to be a doctor that also painted at the same time. I laughed at that. She was such a creative and unique little girl, and I loved that I got to spend so much time with her. I guess it helped that her dad was pretty hot, too.
Arriving at the bakery, we walked inside.
“Oh, my goodness. Who is this little cutie?” Sadie asked, coming around from behind the counter and walking over to us.
“I’m Nell,” Nell said, holding out her hand.
Sadie held her hand out as well. “Well, Nell, I’m Sadie. I’ve known Miss Rachel here for a very, very long time, and she’s one of my best friends.”
“Is this your bakery?” Nell asked.
Sadie nodded her head. “Yes, it is. What would you like? You may choose whatever you like,” Sadie winked at me.
“I want a croissant, but do you have a chocolate croissant?” Nell asked.
“Absolutely. They are my specialty,” Sadie said.
Walking back around the other side of the counter, she went into the glass container and pulled out three chocolate croissants. She placed them carefully on plates, and popped them into the microwave for ten seconds, then pulled them out and walked back around the counter.
“We can sit at that table over there in the corner,” Sadie said. The three of us walked over and sat down at the corner table Sadie had pointed to.
Nell picked up her croissant and took a big bite. “Wow, this is so good!” Nell said.
She quickly chewed up the bite in her mouth and went for another. I could tell that she really liked it, because of how fast she was eating it. It was much like how she had behaved with the peanut butter and jelly sandwich I’d first shared with her.
“I really like your bakery,” Nell said. She was looking around at all the different decorations.
“Did you know that I picked out the paintings?” I said.
“You did? I really like them,” Nell said.
“I’m glad.” I took a bite of my own croissant and was reminded how amazing they were, and once again didn’t understand why I didn’t indulge in them more often.
“Don’t forget we have to get one for my daddy,” Nell said.
“Yep, that was our deal,” I said.
A young couple walked into the bakery, and Sadie got up to help them. They were ordering a gender reveal cake. Neither of them had any idea what the sex of the baby was, but I watched as they handed Sadie the envelope. They told her what they were looking for asked it if they could have it for an event next Saturday. Sadie finished up with them, attached the secret envelope to the order form with the details and put it in the order bin. She came back over and sat down next to us, then glanced at me with a small smile, which I returned.
Nell finished her croissant and then looked at me, “Can I get something else, Rachel?”
I shrugged, “I don’t see why not,” I said to her. Then I looked at Sadie. “What else do you think that Nell should try?”
Without saying anything, Sadie got up and went back around behind the counter. When she came back a couple minutes later, she was carrying a cheesecake brownie on a plate. She set it down in front of Nell.
“Wow, what is this?” asked Nell.
“It’s a cheesecake brownie. It’s my specialty… I mean, besides the chocolate croissants. I have a lot of specialties. I hope that you’ll be able to try them all sometime. Not all at once though,” Sadie said.
I already loved the way that Sadie and Nell were interacting. We spent the rest the day in Sadie’s bakery. It was fun. Sadie and I loaded Nell up with bunch of snacks, and I really hoped that James wouldn’t be upset about it. She seemed to be having a lot of fun, and I could tell that Sadie was really enjoying her time with Nell.
Sadie packaged up a few more croissants. One for James, and a few for Nell and James in the morning.
“You know, Rachel, you’ve convinced me,” Sadie started out. “I can really see how much Nell means to you. And I really do think that what you are doing is good for both of you. Obviously, Nell is in your life for a reason, and I really think you deserve it.”
Tears threatened their way through, but I didn’t want to stand here and cry in the middle of Sadie’s bakery. She had customers all over the place. Plus, I really didn’t want Nell to see me crying because I didn’t want her to tell James, and I didn’t want to deal with that.
“Thank you, Sadie. For everything.” I hugged my oldest, best friend, and then she turned and hugged Nell.
“Thank you, Sadie, for the croissants. My dad’s gonna love them. They’re so yummy,” Nell said.
Sadie got down to Nell’s level and gave her another hug. “You are welcome here anytime. You and your dad.”
Nell hugged her back, and then I took the bag that Sadie had for us in one hand, and Nell’s little hand in the other, and we headed off down the street, walking slowly back to the art gallery. I figured the snail’s place the normally speedy Nell was moving had something to do with Nell not wanting to go back quite yet. She’d been having fun visiting with Sadie and me at the bakery
“I’m going to be sad when Esther comes back,” Nell said.
“What you mean?” I asked her.
“Well, when she comes back, then me and you won’t be able to spend that much time together,” Nell said.
It kind of broke my heart, but she sort of had a point. “I will still spend time with you,” I reassured her. “I promise.” I didn’t want her to think that when Esther came back, I would never spend any time with her. Sure, we wouldn’t spend as much time together, but I would never give up on her. I would never cut her out of my life.
“But I won’t get to see you every single day,” she said.
“Well, maybe I can watch you sometimes so Esther can do some other things,” I said.
“I’d really like that, Rachel. I like spending time with you,” she said. “You’re like my new mommy.”
My heart broke for this little girl, and I knew my suspicions of her craving female attention had been correct. It wasn’t her fault, and it wasn’t James’s fault either. I think it was just something children went through who didn’t have a mother. I wanted to be here for her as much as I could, whether Esther was around or not. I was determined to stay in her life.
When we got back, we went inside and headed upstairs to James’s office. Nell had already pushed her way inside, and luckily, it didn’t appear we’d caught him in the middle of something. At least he didn’t seem to be. I handed him the bag of croissants.
“What’s this?” he asked, peering inside the bag.
“Just some chocolate croissants that Sadie wanted you guys to have. One is for you now, and the others are for both of you in the morning,” I explained.
“Thank you, Rachel,” he said, as he looked at Nell. “Were you good for Rachel?” he asked. I was going to answer for her, but I sensed that he wanted her to do the answering since he had asked her directly.
“Yes, I think I was. Very good, actually,” she said, and then looked up at me.
I nodded my head, “She was an angel, and my friend Sadie absolutely loved her,” I told him.
“I’m glad to hear it. But it sounds like she’s always good for you,” he said with a laugh.
“Maybe I just have a special touch,” I said, just messing with him. He laughed, and I was glad that he took my joke so well. Nell wasn’t my daughter and I was nervous that he might take it wrong.
“Are you almost done with your work today, Daddy?” Nell asked.
James placed a hand on Nell’s head and rubbed it gently. It was a small gesture, but it was really sweet to watch.
“Yes, pumpkin,” he said.
Nell beamed up at him. I could tell that the two of them had a really good relationship, and I hoped for his sake that it would always stay that way. For her sake too, of course, since her mom was no longer around. My heart ached for them every time I thought about that. I wondered what it was like for a little girl to grow up without a mom.
“You can take off now, Rachel,” he said.
I smiled at him and told both of them goodbye before I left.