Chapter Seventeen
Jason
"As you can see behind me, the Hollywood Christmas Parade is in full swing. It might not snow here in the City of Angels, but who says you need snow for Christmas spirit?"
Davis had this scar on his face; I had noticed it years ago back in school, and he had mentioned that he had gotten it as a kid, on his forehead that disappeared into his hairline. Whenever I watched him on TV, I couldn't stop looking at where I knew it was, even when it was covered with makeup. He was on now, reporting on the Hollywood Christmas Parade that was holding up the already bad traffic on Hollywood Boulevard.
It was Christmas day. I was at a hotel in front of the television in Los Angeles, drinking eggnog, alone. The only difference from any other year was I wasn't in New York. Oh, and I could walk outside in a t-shirt and not get hypothermia. I didn't buy into the whole Christmas thing, not for myself. I mailed gifts to my nieces and nephews, but the decorating and stuff didn't make sense for me since I was alone. That was the other thing: Christmas day was usually just another work day for me. It was a little weird being in front of the TV for a change instead of on it.
The coverage was good; Davis was a good reporter too, but the broadcast was doing nothing to get me into the Christmas spirit. I had spent more time thinking about Shelby than I had actually been with her and that was a problem. Maybe I would have had a reason to celebrate if we had gotten together today. Maybe she could have brought the baby and, I don't know, we could have even gone to watch that fucking parade.
I wasn't narcissistic. She must have just been angry and thrown the first insult she could think of at me yesterday when we had talked. At least she had stopped and actually spoken to me. What she had said though wasn't the best thing in the world that I could have heard. I drank down some more eggnog, clearing the glass; it had been a special for Christmas day, so I had ordered some through room service. I was getting a little sick of hotel food. I was getting sick of living in a hotel room too.
Shit, if it's like that, what are you still doing here, I asked myself. Just leave. Get a red-eye, and you'll be back at your place tomorrow morning. I had underestimated Shelby. I had felt that she'd be easier to get to. I don't know why; we had butted heads enough while we had worked together, so it made sense that we did now. She had told me what I had to do to get her to talk to me though. Yesterday, I hadn't been sure that she hadn't been trying to mess with me. I still wasn't all the way sure that she wasn't, but she had asked me what she had for a reason.
I never thought I'd see the day when I was thinking about walking away, especially for a reason like this one. I mean, what did I want more? My job, or Shelby? Which one would I feel worse about losing?
How many more women would I meet who were like Shelby? That didn't matter because none of them would actually be her. She was the reason I had come here, the reason I was still here. Our relationship wasn't good, it wasn't easy or simple, but no woman had ever been as memorable as she had been to me. She was stubborn, so stubborn I thought sometimes she just did it to spite me. She was beautiful. When we were together, it was intense; it was real. She was giving me a chance, and all she wanted was for me to walk away from WRTC.
One had to go, and it wasn't going to be Shelby.
It was bad form to do this over the phone. It was Christmas day, and I hadn't given Victoria notice, but shit, she'd just have to make it work. I would too. I couldn't wait anymore. There was no good enough reason why I was still holding out on her. I knew that I wanted things to keep going with Shelby. I also knew that I didn't want to be in New York when she was here. That was enough. I put the phone to my ear and waited.
"Jason?"
"Victoria, hey. I hope this isn't a bad time. I had to speak to you," I said, glancing at the wall clock to check the time difference.
"In fact, it isn't a good time for me to talk right now. Get back to me in about two hours."
"It'll only take a minute," I insisted.
"A couple days ago you were calling me to discuss taking a leave of absence. What now?"
"I'm not coming back, Victoria. I quit." The line went silent, and I thought that she had hung up on me.
"Is this some sort of joke?" she spat
"What? No."
"Is this your way of trying to get yourself a raise? Because if it is, you're not getting one. This is unprofessional, and you know that."
"No, Victoria. I'm serious. The head anchor position at WRTC is officially open. I'm done."
"Stop that," she said dismissively.
"I don't even plan on coming back to New York. I'm done, Victoria."
"Did you get a better offer there? With who?" she demanded. Even if I had, I wouldn't have taken it. Getting another anchor job would defeat the purpose of quitting this one.
"That's all I called you to say," I said.
"Bullshit," she said. She was mad now. She was usually levelheaded, so much that she came off cold sometimes but she was off now.
"I know it's inconvenient."
"Inconvenient? You couldn't have chosen a worse time to back out of your contract." I nodded, looking at the ground. She didn't need to spell it out for me. It had all come down to what I wanted and what I was willing to give up to have it. I wanted Shelby, and this was the price I had to pay to be, to even start being a part of her life again. I probably would have given up a lot more too if she had asked me to do it.
"I don't know why you're so mad, Vicky," I said calmly. "Last I checked, I was the reason you've had to replace ten writers in four years."
"You're going to be a little bit harder to replace."
"Victoria, this whole time I thought that you didn't even like me that much. So what's the problem?"
"I can't believe it," she said. I kept quiet because she wasn't really saying it to me, she was saying it to herself. If I had been her listening to me say this shit, I wouldn't have believed it either. "I hope you know what you're doing," she finally said, composing herself a little. I said I did, knowing that was about all I would get from her as far as goodwill.
That was that. I didn't regret it. I didn't want to call her right back and tell her that I hadn't been serious. That was it. I was in. I had enough money put away to take care of myself for a while. As important as work had been to me in the past, what could I say? Priorities changed, and that was what had happened to mine.
That had just been step one. Shelby would talk to me now, but I had to find a way to talk to her. I had already tried her old number; she didn't use it anymore. I called the one person I knew who would have it. Question was, would he give it to me? He picked up after a couple rings.
"Jason?"
"Davis, hey."
"Hey. I wasn't expecting to hear from you," he said. "I thought you would already be on your way back to New York." Yeah, I had thought the same thing.
"Plans changed a little. I wanted to ask you for something."
"What?"
"I need Shelby's phone number," I told him. He was quiet for a few seconds.
"Does that mean things are going well or going badly between you two?"
"It means we're working things out and I want to talk to her. I'll tell her that I got it from you if you're scared she'll be mad or something."
"I guess I underestimated you," he mumbled.
"You what?"
"Nothing," he said, agreeing to text Shelby's phone number to me. I thanked him, and we hung up. It was good of him to help me out. He definitely didn't owe me anything. Guess it was safe to say he wasn't trying to get with Shelby anymore. He had told me as much when I had seen him the day before, that she had broken things off with him, and competition wouldn't really faze me but still. If he felt the same way about Shelby as I did, he had done me a huge favor.
When the text came in, I saved her number and immediately called her.
"Hello?" she said, answering the phone. I could hear the baby in the background; she must have been home.
"Shelby? Hey. It's me. It's Jason," I said carefully.
"Jason? How did you get my phone number?" she asked.
"I asked Davis to give it to me."
"Well, then you were both wrong in this situation. I'm going to ask you to please not call me again."
"Shelby, wait. Just hear me out."
"Why? What could you possibly have to say to me?"
"I thought a lot about what you said to me yesterday." She paused, and I heard the baby some more. He was laughing at something. It was cute. We still hadn't hashed out the paternity thing, but now wasn't the time to bring it up. I was staying here more or less indefinitely now; we had time.
"Yeah? And what did you want to tell me?"
"You were right about what you said. My job is like a power trip for me. I get high off being in that position, but if it’s what is standing in the way of us reconnecting, then I made the choice to give it up." She was quiet again.
"You actually did it? You quit?"
"I got off the phone with Victoria less than an hour ago."
"Jason... is that why you called me? To say you quit your job?"
"I also called to tell you Merry Christmas," I added lightly. That got a little laugh out of her. "And because I still want to talk." I heard her sigh. That had been her challenge, show her I was serious by giving up my job. This phone call was proving even harder than the one I had had to make to Victoria. I couldn't take another rejection from Shelby, not now, not after giving up the one thing that had gotten me up every morning.
"I'm really impressed that you did that, Jason," she said sincerely. "I have some time off from work. If you're serious, we can meet up tomorrow."
"Should I pick you up or something?"
"No. It's not a date. We can meet somewhere. Is lunch okay?" she asked. I told her it was. Shit, I had nothing but time now; even breakfast would have been okay.
"Do you want to come here to the hotel?"
"No, somewhere neutral." Huh, too bad. Inviting her to the hotel the last time had worked out great. We hadn't ended up having lunch, but she had left satisfied. We are taking it slow, I reminded myself. What had Lake said? All that caveman stuff? Yeah, we weren’t doing that anymore.
"How about you tell me a spot that's convenient for you and I meet you there?" I suggested. She liked that idea. "Thank you," I told her.
"No problem. I'll see you tomorrow?" she said. I said that I would be looking forward to it. I stared at the phone after she had hung up. That was it. I was in. I didn't have anything in New York pulling me back. All I had was Shelby. This was probably my only chance to get it right with her. If I fucked up, I was ending up with nothing.