MERCS
Effa and I are walking through the empty halls of the PPG Paints Arena, attempting to get a feel for the space. There’s not many people here yet, mainly just the other girls, but Luke and I’m sure the other members of the crew are here by now too. This place is big, and we’re wandering down halls to gain our bearings.
“Shit,” I mumble, as I take Effa’s hand in mine.
“What’s wrong?”
“We should have left Ligonier earlier. Gotten here sooner so you could have been here to check out the space. You need more time in the zone, I know that. You like to connect with the venue before a show. You haven’t had the time you need.”
She shakes her head and waves her free hand through the air. “Stop. That doesn’t matter. I got to spend time with you, and that’s what matters more to me anyway. I’m here now. Let’s go out to the stage and get a feel for it, though,” she suggests.
We head down the hall toward the opening for the stage. I must admit I have missed this, it’s only been two days, but I do love being on tour with these girls. We round the corner, and the other girls are already here with Luke having a discussion.
“Oh, Effa, there you are. Come here, we have to talk to you about something,” Kristy calls out. I smile at her, then look to Raoul who’s standing by the other girls and give him a curt nod. He understands with a dip of his head as he watches Effa, and I turn to her and take a deep breath.
“Don’t go anywhere without Raoul, okay? Promise me?”
She smiles, letting out a small giggle. “Yes, Mr. Overprotective. I’ll see you after the show?”
Leaning in, I wink at her then press my lips to hers.
She’s quickly turning and running off toward her girls. Raoul steps to her side, and I feel a sense of ease wash over me.
Spinning around, I head to the back of stage area. I have some crew to catch up with. Making my way to the rafters, I notice Tank setting up the rigging as per usual. He’s puffing and grunting while he’s lifting a heavy load. I rush in to help him as he looks at me and smiles wide.
“Hey. Welcome back. It’s been fucking miserable without you here, bro.”
I raise my brow, tilting my head. “You call a threesome, miserable?” I tease and Tank chuckles.
“Well, maybe not that so much, but fuck me… I can’t keep up with Andi’s moody shit. I need some bro time. You, me, and Jay. Man, we need some beer and some pool or something, ‘cause fuck, I swear I have lost my fucking balls.”
I burst out laughing and slap his shoulder. “Shit! Andi’s really gotten to you. What the fuck happened?”
He shrugs. “I have no idea. We were having fun, then all of a sudden… bam. I’m on her most hated list. And, I swear, you do not want to be on her death radar.”
“I’m sure whatever’s going on with her, someone will straighten it out. But until then, steer clear’s my advice.”
“Oh yeah, I’m steering clear all right. I don’t need my balls kicked again.”
I snort. “She actually kicked you in the balls?”
“She sure tried. I got out of the way. Ended in a wrestling match, though. I thought she was playing around, you know role-playing or something, but I have the claw marks on my leg to show she was deadly serious.”
“Shit… girl’s got a lot of anger wrangled in that tiny body,” I say.
“You’re telling me. I just want to help her. Whatever she’s got going on, I still care about her.”
Tank isn’t normally the caring and lay it all out on the line type of guy, so for him to say that, must mean it’s true.
“Well, be there for her when whatever’s going on isn’t going on anymore.”
“That’s the plan. But right now, fucker, back to work. You’ve slacked off enough as it is,” Tank demands with a cocky smirk.
The stage is set. The crowds are pouring in, and the buzz and hype around the concert arena is rearing to go. The lighting is all prepped, the pre-show filters are on as electricity fizzles through the air. My legs dangle from the rafters as I sit up here with Jay and Tank, and look out to the sea of fans waiting patiently to hear Effa and the girls play. The only problem is Jett and Swift Division are up first, and I’m not sure I want to sit through their shit, even though technically it’s my job to do precisely that.
“Hey, I gotta use the head. I’ll be back before the show starts. Yeah?” I call out to Tank who nods and fakes a salute.
I walk along the rafters even though I realize I should be staying up here for the set, but I know Tank and Jay have this sorted. My mind wanders to Effa and what she looks like, in that tight little purple leather dress she always wears for her concerts. And those thigh high boots.
Mental note, I have to fuck her in nothing but those boots.
It’s all such a stark contrast to how she usually dresses. She looks hot as fuck, and I want to go down to the green room to see her, but then she’d know I’m not working my post.
Jumping down from the rafters, I slide around the pole and head to the back of the stage. I glance out at the crowd—it’s huge out there tonight. I know Effa’s going to love the atmosphere, she lives for this. As I turn back around I bump into a hard chest.
The smell assaults me first.
Tobacco and cheap aftershave.
Anger assaults me next.
I turn to face Jett but step back putting some much-needed space between us. It’s not just him, but his entire band and I let out a heavy sigh as I shake my head.
No way can I start anything here, there are four witnesses. Probably just the way he planned it.
Jackass.
I inhale sharply as he looks me up and down, while his bandmates grin. “Jett,” I groan and attempt to walk past him.
“Mercury…” he pauses. “Did Effa mention our little rendezvous today by any chance?”
Tensing up, I wanna turn around and fuck up his nuts with my fists, but I can’t. He’s about to go on stage—plus, his damn bandmates are all here. So I turn and smile in an attempt to not let him see I’m completely ready to annihilate him on the inside.
“Yeah, she mentioned something about her seeing you and what a disappointment you’d become.”
Jett’s cocky smile falters for a second as his eyes turn dark and ominous.
This guy’s a genuine, one hundred percent, certifiable cunt.
“Don’t worry, Mercury, she won’t be able to resist me. I won’t even need to make a move, and she’ll come crawling back to me. Effa’s like a moth to a flame, she’s drawn to me and I can’t wait to watch your face when you’re left for dust.”
I roll my eyes. “You’re delusional if you think she’s going to fall for any of your shit, Jett.”
He shrugs and purses his lips. “It’s inevitable… she will be mine. Because you will fuck it up for yourself, and she’ll come crawling to me. And fucking trust me when I say...” he leans in toward me, “… I’m going to enjoy tasting her cupcake frosting. Mmm… delicious.”
My hands ball into fists as my entire body flushes with anger. I lunge forward as his bandmates grab me, holding me back as I try to swing at him, but they’re too quick and slam me into the wall. They’re all holding me down as I pant and breathe furiously through my nose, so harshly my nostrils are flaring as my chest heaves.
My fists still clenched at my sides as his four band members hold onto me, two on each side and Jett stands right in front of my face smiling like the Cheshire fucking cat.
“You go for me again, Mercury, and I’ll have your job. Then you won’t be here to protect my little cupcake…” His cocky, arrogant demeanor leaves nothing to the imagination. “Think twice,” he threatens and leans in pressing his lips to my forehead, his beard rubbing against my flesh. I shake my head in an attempt to get him off me, the fucking freak.
He walks off, far enough ahead that I can’t catch up before his bandmates let me go. I pull from their grasp as they all assess me then they turn to walk to the stage ready to go on. As they step off, I straighten out my shirt.
Although the undeniable rage surging through me wants me to go after Jett and smash his fucking lights out, the words of Effa ring in my ears. I promised her I wouldn’t make this physical, and it’s taking everything in me right now to keep that promise to her.
I couldn’t bring myself to go back up on the rafters and watch Swift Division perform after our little altercation. So I stayed at the back of the stage with the lighting board helping the guys down there. I can see Effa and the girls getting ready to go on from where I am now, and just watching her is calming me down. But having Jett face off with me like that, then having forty-five minutes of his fucking vocals rammed down my throat as the crowd lapped him up and sang his praises—not happening.
At last Swift Division come off, and Luminous move into position. So I don’t have to listen to Jett until tomorrow night. I want to make sure I’m back up on the rafters for when the girls are on stage, so I head back to the beam and start the climb. Once at the top, Tank looks to me and raises his brow.
“That was one hell of a log you needed to lay, man.”
I chuckle and shake my head. “Nah, got distracted with the lighting board. Everything went okay up here?” I ask.
He nods as he hands me the remote so I can take up my usual seat. I duck around Jay and sit down between them and look out over the crowd. It’s pumping in here tonight, and I know it’s going to go off when Effa and the girls come out on stage.
“Everything’s fine. We work better without you actually,” Jay teases.
“Yeah, yeah…” I roll my eyes as the cues come over our earpieces that the girls are ready and set to go. I nod to Tank, and he presses the buttons to activate the timing sequence and then lights dim causing the crowd to erupt into a massive explosion of cheering and elation. I glance down to the side of the stage to watch Effa and the girls who are ready to walk on.
The sequence starts once I hit the remote button, in time with the music already playing, along with the thunderous applause and feet stomping from the crowd. The darkness being broken by waves of flashing neon lights, strobing as the stage rotates and sets into place. It’s ready to go. The girls just have to walk on, or run in their case, like they always do.
How they do that in those platform boots is beyond me, but they’re incredibly talented.
The music kicks in, Kristy is already at the drums as the screen falls revealing her. She thrashes it out on the kit, and the arena roars up to an even louder explosion of noise. Andi and Casey run out with their guitars strumming hard and fast. Alana bolts out to her station, and the beats drop in from her DJ kit as they work up the crowd to unbelievable levels. I smile widely knowing they’re here for their enjoyment of Luminous, and for the love of my girl.
Then she runs out onto the stage, her hair flowing wildly with the force of the wind, her guitar strapped around her as she throws her hand in the air and races to the microphone.
“Pittsburgh. You guys are amazing. We’re Luminous, and we’re going to illuminate your world. So hold on tight ‘cause here we gooo,” she calls out as their first song takes full flight, and they’re off into the first verse.
My chest swells with so much pride as I watch her perform. Her husky voice wrapping around the notes with ease, and the melody sounding like smooth honey. She was born to sing, born to play, and she’s in her element.
EFFA
The high from a show never gets old. No matter how many times I perform, it’s always such a buzz. I love the energy, the endorphins, and I enjoy the natural rush. But now, all I want to do is spend the night with Mercs, and some more much needed alone time—just the two of us.
As we all walk the halls toward the green room, I swallow down my berry water while Raoul walks beside me. I smile up at him as Alana and Luke discuss tonight’s live streaming. Glancing to Andi, her hard glare from earlier has softened a little from the thrill of the show, while Casey dawdles along sniffing the air obviously smelling something as per usual. I swear that girl’s nose is a radar of epic proportions.
“Can we go straight to the club tonight, Luke?” Andi asks.
Casey nods a little too over-enthusiastically. “Yes, I like this idea. I wanna party. Like now.”
Luke groans. “I guess. Don’t you want to unwind first?”
“No. I want me some booze, some blow, and some big ass balls,” Casey chirps motioning with her hands as if she were grabbing a man by his balls. It makes us all chuckle. All except Luke who screws up his face.
“Fine. Go get your stuff, and we’ll head out.”
I look to Raoul and then to Luke. “I’m gonna go find, Mercs. Have him to come with us, okay?” I call out.
Luke nods, waves his hand through the air without even looking at me. “Yes, fine. Raoul, stick with her,” he demands as they round the corner to the green room and we keep walking to the crew room.
Raoul wraps his arm around my shoulder and smiles. “Great show tonight.”
“I know. We’re awesome,” I joke as we arrive at the crew room with a slight chuckle. As I look through the door, I see Mercs sitting in a chair with his back to me on his cell phone. We walk in and keep quiet, so I don’t disturb him and stay back a little. I don’t know who he’s talking to, but by the silence in the room it’s not a good call. All the pep in me seems to vanish as I instantly think of Kiera and maybe something’s wrong with her. I go to step forward to make sure he’s okay when he talks into his cell.
“Lilah, I don’t know what to say to that.”
My heart leaps into my throat as my breath catches.
He’s talking to Lilah—his ex.
What the hell for?
“I know you’re sorry, I get that, I do. You know you meant everything to me, Lilah. We were childhood sweethearts, and that’s a big deal. Love was never an issue with us.”
Stumbling slightly on the spot, I reach out grabbing ahold of Raoul. He takes a firm grip on my arm steadying me and holds me to him.
“I don’t know. I don’t know what the future holds for us, but I can’t deny my feelings.”
My head begins to fog as a crushing weight feels like it’s impacting all around me. My stomach sinks and twists in on itself hearing him say those words to his ex. It’s earth-shattering. It’s everything I’ve been dreading.
“The love I feel is definitely there. There’s no hiding it anymore, and it has to work this time—”
I let out a stifled gasp as I turn, not wanting to hear anymore and bolt out of the door, with Raoul close on my tail. I’m not sure if I’m more upset or angry as I pound the hallways in my platform boots. My fists are clenched as my nails dig into my palms. I have no idea where I’m going, but my bottom lip is trembling as my heart races so fast I feel like I can’t catch my breath.
But it’s my chest, it’s aching so badly it feels like my heart might just be splitting right in two.
My eyes begin to well and mist over as I blink rapidly trying to will myself not to cry.
I’m a strong, independent woman, I don’t need him.
Fucking hell, who am I trying to kid?
I need him. I need him like my next breath.
A small sob leaves my mouth, and I have to stop walking and hold onto my stomach as I hunch over to stop the pain. “It hurts,” I murmur.
Raoul moves in wrapping his arm around me and rubs his hand up and down my arm.
“I know. I’m sorry, Effa. I thought he was one of the good guys, mon petit oiseau,” Raoul mumbles as he comforts me. “C’mon, let’s go sit by the side of the stage and let it all out. Oui?”
“Yes,” is all I can manage as we walk over to the stage, propping ourselves on the side. I take a deep breath. The crowd all but gone, the crew practically dispersed bar a few, and so I sit here feeling more alone than ever before, even though I have a burly Frenchman to keep me company. My heart is pounding furiously as I clench my eyes shut trying to think over what the hell his words mean as I rock back and forth holding onto myself.
“Well, doesn’t this look like the picture of happiness?” A deep voice calls out, and I look up to see Jett. His lips turned down in a sympathetic frown as he swaggers toward me. Raoul stiffens his posture next to me as Jett stops in front of me.
“You okay, cupcake?”
Pursing my lips, I shake my head. “Just go away, Jett. Leave me alone.”
“Okay, I’ll go away, if that’s what you really want. But I’m a really good listener… so you know. Just putting that fact out there,” he boasts with a shrug and turns walking down a little, shuffling his feet as he walks like he’s purposely dawdling then he turns and props himself on the end of the stage.
He’s away from me, but he hasn’t gone out of my sight completely.
I huff and look down at him as he looks away pretending to ignore me, and I roll my eyes. “What are you doing?”
He looks down at me, feigning shock. “Oh, hi, I didn’t think we were going to talk, but since we are now, I’m sticking around. Even though you don’t wanna chat, because that’s what friends do. We ignore what you say when you’re hurting because that’s when you need us the most. Like right now, I know you need me. So I’m not going anywhere. You may as well give in and just talk to me, and tell me what’s going on in that pretty little head of yours because there’s no way in hell I ever want to see you cry.”
Wiping under my eyes, I smile weakly as I shrug, giving in and pat the stage beside me. Jett smiles wide jumping down and rushing to my side. Raoul tenses beside me and looks to me sternly as he sits next to me, but I shrug as Jett hoists himself up and slides in on my other side. His leg touches mine making me slightly uncomfortable, but I let it go for now. After all, Raoul is right here, so nothing can go wrong. I see Raoul give him a look, one that says back away, but he says nothing, though I can tell his body is tense and he’s on guard.
“So cupcake… what did he do?”
I snort and shake my head. “I don’t think we should talk about it.”
He sighs and rests his hand on my knee for comfort. “Sometimes it helps to talk to others, to make sense of a situation?”
Raoul leans across and removes Jett’s hand from my knee causing me to smirk.
“Mercs wants his ex, there’s nothing to figure out.”
Jett screws up his face like he’s angry, making me feel uneasy. “I can’t believe he’d throw away a chance at being with you for someone else. Is he stupid?”
I weakly smile. “You shouldn’t talk about him like that,” I murmur.
Jett looks at me, the hard edge on him softening as he wraps his arm around my shoulders and pulls me to him. Raoul shifts uncomfortably and gives Jett a stern look, so Jett removes his arm.
“You’re beautiful, and you should know how worthy of love you are, Effa.” He leans in kissing the top of my head.
Raoul quickly reacts, but before I can do anything I see Mercs storm toward us. The look in his eye is one of pure rage and hatred. I’ve never seen him more angry than right now.
Holy shit!