EFFA
Glancing up at the strawberry blonde waitress, I take in her posture. Angled toward Mercs, her eyelashes flutter at him, her tongue dashes out then she licks her bottom lip, while her chest juts out slightly more than necessary and her breathing hitches when she sees him. I study her face. It’s pale, with only a slight spread of makeup, but beneath it she’s a natural beauty. Her cute little nose intimidates me, and her dimples make me want to claw them off her face. The thing that really scares me is the little gasp that took Mercs’ breath away when she spoke just now. He knows her, and the way she said, ‘you’ve come back for me’ makes me think they obviously have a history.
My eyes dart to Mercs who appears shell-shocked, and he looks from me to her and back to me again. It’s only then that Gran steps up to the plate breaking his ineptitude. “Hi, Lilah, darling, it’s been a while. How have you been?”
Lilah looks to me with her sparkling blue eyes in an assessing way, then to Gran smiling so wide that even I think she’s stunning.
“Oh, Daphne, it’s sure nice to see you again. And Kiera how ya holdin’ up, hon?” she asks in a sickly sweet all American accent. But that isn’t the part that gets to me, it’s that she knew Gran’s name. I had no idea it was Daphne, and I guess I should have asked at some point.
“I’m okay, taking each day as it comes, I suppose, Lilah. Did you know Kaden’s touring with the band Luminous? And this is Effa… their lead singer?” Gran relays bringing me into the conversation, seeing as Mercs is sitting in his chair, white as a ghost, looking like he wants to throw up.
I glance up at Lilah, and she raises her brow, tilting her hip to the side and clicking her tongue to the roof of her mouth in, I guess, approval. “Well, goooooolly, a real-life rock star in sleepy little Ligonier? Who would have thought? Kaden, have you been holdin’ out on me?” she chimes.
I furrow my brows and glare at him wondering what in the hell that’s supposed to mean.
Mercs clears his throat as she rests her hand on his shoulder, and he flinches slightly at her touch looking right at me as I gnaw on my bottom lip. My stomach churns waiting for him to say something, anything, to enlighten the situation of how she fits this picture, his life, and is she still a part of it.
“Lilah, we stopped talking for a reason. Why would I tell you anything about me?”
My eyes open wide at the animosity in his voice.
Lilah slumps and sighs as Gran and Kiera both sink into their chairs but say nothing.
Lilah nods and exhales turning to face him, her back now toward me completely. “Kaden, that thing with Johnny… it was nothin’ more than a drunken mistake. A one-time error in judgment after our fight. I’ve never forgiven myself for it.”
I swallow hard looking into my lap not wanting to be here right now. She’s evidently an ex that I knew nothing about, and here she is pouring her heart out to him in front of me. My heart’s racing, my pulse beating frantically, pumping my blood through my veins so fast I feel sick. I try to slow my breathing so as to not make it obvious that I’m freaking the fuck out.
Jesus!
“I don’t think we need to talk about this now… or ever. I don’t do cheating, Lilah. You know this. There’s no point to this conversation. Especially not here… not in front of Gran, Kiera and my girlfriend.”
Well, that made me look up, and now I understand why no cheating was one of his rules. Not that I ever would anyway, but at the time I wondered what it meant. And now from this, I’m gathering that Lilah is the one that did the cheating.
I watch Lilah’s head snap back to me, her eyes wide, almost bursting out of her head like they might explode at any minute. I actually feel sorry for her.
“You… oh, shit! Sorry, I… I didn’t know. I wouldn’t have said… I wouldn’t have—” She stops talking, her eyes glisten, and she looks down to the floor. “Enjoy your pie,” she murmurs turning on her heels and scurrying off back toward the counter.
I look to Mercs whose face is contorted and I’m not sure if it’s in pain, anger, sadness, or perhaps it’s a mixture of all three, but he doesn’t look good. Deafening silence falls over our table, but the general chatter flurries around the rest of the diner as if something significant just happened.
What the hell is with these people.
My heart’s thumping in my chest and I feel like I need to do something, but my body won’t let me move.
“Well… that was damn awkward,” Kiera murmurs.
Gran lets out a heavy sigh. “Are you both okay?” She reaches out across the table grabbing my hand, and one of Mercs’ in hers.
I nod unconvincingly, and Mercs wracks his jaw from side to side before he stands abruptly and pivots, storming away from the table and toward the exit while everyone in the diner watches him leave. The chatter increasing so loud, it confuses me. Each step he takes away from me, my heart races faster. “Mercs,” I call out, standing up from my seat and watching him walk out the door.
I look around, everyone is talking animatedly, and it seems it’s to do with Mercs and Lilah’s interaction.
What. The. Fuck.
“I’ll go,” Gran offers.
Kiera looks at me with sad eyes, and I swallow hard sitting back down while nodding at Gran. She stands and places her hand on my shoulder gently, and after a caressing squeeze she walks off leaving me with Kiera.
I sink into my seat and shake my head, looking over at the counter to see Lilah isn’t there anymore. She must have gone out the back to get away from the gossiping town folk, and I gaze over to Kiera who’s sipping on her soda as she eyes me suspiciously. So I figure I may as well ask some questions while I can. “So… Lilah?” I ask.
“I was wondering if you’d ask. Yeah, she’s Kaden’s ex. They were childhood sweethearts, till she was caught in the backseat of Kaden’s car one night with his best friend, Johnny, doing the dirty. It was the biggest news to hit the town for like… a decade. He was so embarrassed. And as you can see by the chattering assholes in here, they’re both still the talk of the damn town.” She lifts an eyebrow. “Yeah, not much happens around here.”
My heart aches for Mercs. Finding his girl and his best friend together—what a terrible situation to go through. Then being the talk of the town and still is… no wonder he wanted to find a job where he could leave and roam the world.
“When did this happen?” I ask.
She sips on her soda through her straw making a slurping sound as she draws back. “Little under two years ago. Kades just started touring fulltime and did his first gig with a band. He went on tour with them, and when he returned, that’s when he found Lilah and Johnny. He came back during a break in the tour to surprise her… with a ring.”
My eyes open wide and I let out a small gasp. I had no idea that Mercs was in a long-term relationship before me, and that it was so serious that he was going to propose.
How could he not tell me this?
Slumping into my seat, I sink down into it further.
“You didn’t know, did you?” Kiera’s gentle voice asks as she looks at me with kind eyes.
I shake my head and swallow hard. “I had no idea he’d been in a serious relationship.”
Kiera slides into Mercs’ seat and sits right next to me, reaching out and grabbing my hand. “Trust me when I say this… if he brought you here to meet us, you mean something to him. Kaden… he’s shut his emotions off to the world. He doesn’t like to let people in or tell them about his life especially after what happened. Once the gossip spread through town about him, Lilah and Johnny, he swore he’d never be the center of attention again. He hates people knowing his business. As for his personal life, he’s closed off from telling people about the things that hurt him, because he doesn’t want to seem vulnerable. Like Lilah… like me being sick… all these things make him weak and vulnerable in his eyes. And the thing about Kaden is… he’s the breadwinner for this family, so he thinks he always has to appear strong. We don’t think he needs to, but he has this stupid idea that he has to be this big tough man for us.”
Everything she’s saying, I totally understand. So I nod. I get why he’s so guarded. I get why he wants to act tough. But he doesn’t need to be any of those things with me.
“I can’t even begin to imagine what it would be like to be the talk of the town. He’s obviously not handling it all that well ‘cause he’s just walked out. I just wish I knew how to help him.”
Kiera turns facing me completely and squeezes my hand tighter. “Just, please, don’t give up on him. You’re so perfect for him. He’s so straight-laced, and you’re just the right amount of quirkiness to balance him out. He needs you, and I see by the way you guys look at each other that there’s a true connection there. I know he’s hard work. I know he’s damaged and broken. But please… when I’m gone, he’s going to need you, more than ever.”
My heart leaps into my throat, and my breath catches as I’m stunned to the spot. This young, beautiful, amazing girl has just talked about her own death like it’s nothing more than a passing comment, and it’s taken me a second to gather myself from the shock of hearing it.
I clear my throat and try to hold myself together. “Kiera, please don’t tell me you’ve given up… Mercs said there’s a procedure?”
She shrugs. “There is, but getting everything in line in time is the hard part. It’s okay, Effa. I’ve come to terms with my death a long time ago. Gran has too. We’ve made all the necessary arrangements, and everything is in place if it happens. But Kaden, he’s not ready nor prepared, and I just need to know that if that day comes, you’ll be there to take care of him.”
Hot tears pool in my eyes and I try to blink them away while looking at this young girl, so full of life, and I can’t imagine her not being in this world. It breaks my heart as I answer with a simple nod and the words, “I p-promise.” My voice cracks and comes out hoarse and broken, completely affected by my emotions as Kiera leans in and embraces me tightly. I can’t stop the single tear that flows down my cheek. She hugs me so firmly I sense her warmth encasing me, and I feel slightly better knowing for right now, she’s doing okay.
Glancing up, I see Mercs walking back in with Gran, and I pull back from Kiera and wipe my face hurriedly to try and stop Mercs from seeing. But it’s too late, and he spots me wiping my face as they approach. Kiera looks behind her and shifts back to her own seat as Mercs takes his seat.
The droning of the town folk is still going on, but I try to shut it out as Mercs looks to me and then to Kiera, who weakly smiles at him. Then he looks back to me, and he reaches out grabbing my hand. A tingle ignites under my skin when he touches me, and shoots all the way up my arm, kick-starting my pulse into a rapid rate again.
He sighs. “I made you cry, baby.” He wipes under my eyes. “I’m sorry.”
I glance to Kiera. She looks scared as to how I’ll answer him. I guess she wonders if I’ll out her and our morbid conversation. But I would never do that, and as much as I hate letting Mercs think he made me cry, perhaps it’s the lesser of the two evils.
“I wish you would have told me about Lilah, that’s all. I mean, generally, I don’t like surprises anyway. But I had no idea you had a long time partner, and you wanted to marry her. That’s kind of a big deal.”
“Yeah, I know. Truly, I had no idea she worked here. She must have only started recently, and to be honest, I didn’t mention her because she means little to me now and I didn’t want to upset you.”
I raise my brow. “Upset me?”
He shrugs. “I didn’t want you to think I was coming home just to bump into her. I knew she’d be here somewhere, and I was hoping we wouldn’t cross paths. I just… I don’t have any feelings about her other than disdain, and I don’t want you to think otherwise.”
“You’re a dick,” I say while rolling my eyes.
Kiera giggles sitting back in her chair and starts sipping on her soda happily again, as Gran looks to her lap pretending not to listen.
Mercs jolts his head back. “What? Why?”
“Because idiot… if you’d been open and honest with me in the first place, told me about Lilah and everything that happened with you two, I would have been prepared. I would’ve known what to expect, and none of this awkward bullshit would have happened. I had no idea what these people were talking about, and it rattled me. I know they’re only gossiping, and I don’t give a shit about that, but I was pretty confused there for a moment.”
He grimaces slightly, as Kiera smiles but is still sipping on her soda enjoying me telling off her brother.
“Yeah, all I can do is say sorry. I hate all this unnecessary attention. I wish they’d move on. But, as you can imagine, nothing happens here in Ligonier and so, for now, I still have to put up with it.”
“Well, now you’re dating this awesome rock star… so maybe we can start some new town gossip.”
Mercs smiles wide and reaches out grabbing my hand. “And this is why, baby, I like to spend every moment I can with you.”
I glance over at Kiera and notice her beaming smile as she continues to suck on her straw which is buried in a delicious soda which I need to get stuck into myself.
“Well the feeling’s mutual. Now, how about we actually try some of this delicious looking pie here. Yeah?” I suggest, and Kiera nods emphatically.
“God yes,” Kiera moans not waiting as she picks up her fork and digs in.
I grab mine as one of Mercs’ hands moves under the table to rest on my knee, while his other deals with his pie.
Gran finally looks up and smiles at us both but says nothing.
Kiera’s color is back, and she appears to be doing much better than when we first came in.
Out of the corner of my eye, I notice Lilah at the counter serving customers and slyly watching us. She seems frazzled and I wonder what her motives are. What her end game is. And I know Mercs said he wants nothing to do with her, but I can’t help wondering what would happen if she asked him that one question every new girlfriend dreads from an ex.
Will you take me back?