*

~ Ever – 8 years old ~

They didn’t think I could hear them speaking from the other room, but I did. “What do we do if this doesn’t work out? I mean, she’s a stranger to all of us,” my new stepmother asked Donna. Donna was the social worker who had brought me here to South Carolina to find the man who was supposedly my dad. I was afraid of him, because my mom had always told me he was a bad man and that was why I couldn’t know who he was or go see him. I wondered why Donna would bring me to stay with a bad man, but she assured me that he had other kids my age and a wife who would be a good mom to me. It didn’t sound like his wife wanted to be my new mom though.

“She is Mr. Brothers’ biological child,” Donna explained to her. “We understand that this is an extreme situation since you didn’t know about her. If for any reason it doesn’t work out you can contact me and I will try to find her different placement. I will warn you now though that finding placement for an eight-year-old child isn’t easy. She’ll likely go into the foster care system and be bounced around there until she ages out. There was no other family on her mother’s side to take her that we could find. You are that little girl’s only option for a stable home at this point.”

“What if she’s a monster? I’ve heard horror stories about things like this,” my dad’s wife whined.

“Really, Lucy?” My father’s voice boomed sternly.

“She’s been nothing but a sweet girl since I picked her up. She’s sad right now because her mom died, and the poor thing was there when it happened. She called 911 and then held her mom until the ambulance got there. It will take a while for her to move past that. She’s a bit more quiet and withdrawn than I would like to see, but considering what she’s just been through and knowing she’s being left in the care of strangers, I can’t say that I blame her.”

“Great!” My stepmother huffed exaggeratedly. “So she’s going to be a mute, depressed kid. What if she tries to hurt my children?”

“That is enough, Lucy! We are done with this bullshit. This is MY daughter we are talking about, and you are going to stop trying to make excuses for why she can’t be here with us.” My dad’s harsh sounding words made me feel a little better while also startling me. I wondered if he would yell at me like that too. “Thank you, Donna. I’m sure we’ll adjust once all the dust settles. This has been a shock to all of us.” His voice was calmer when he spoke to the lady who had brought me here.

“I understand,” Donna started to say, but I didn’t stick around to hear anything else. Instead, I moved away from the door, my head lost in thoughts of what I would do if no one wanted me here. The foster care thing Donna talked about didn’t sound like it was going to be a nice place. Maybe I could get a job. Did jobs hire kids? I didn’t know. I wished my mom were here so I could ask her. Sadness swept through me as I thought of my mom again. I missed her so much. I got lost in memories of my mom as I walked away so I couldn’t hear the adults talking anymore. That was why I ran face first into a boy who looked to be my age, maybe a little older.

When I finally got my head on straight again I figured out that the boy was my new brother, Toby, and he had a friend standing beside him grinning down at me as they pulled me up from where I had been knocked to my butt in the collision.

“You saw your mom die, huh?” Toby asked, obviously having been eavesdropping from some other part of the house too. I merely nodded my head at him in answer. “That sucks!” He exclaimed as tears started welling up in my eyes and threatening to spill over. I did not want to be the crybaby in the house. The woman in the kitchen was already mad that I was here. How would she react to my tears? “Wanna know a secret?” Toby’s question cut through the panic that was ramping up inside me. Again, I nodded my head, because maybe whatever he had to say would keep the sadness away.

“Dad didn’t know about me at first either.” He laughed with his buddy then. “Guess pregnant women don’t much like to tell him nothin’.”

“But Lucy is your mom, right?” I asked quickly, sniffing back the stinging saltiness of the tears that escaped despite my best effort to keep them inside.

“Yep. They got back together when I was three,” Toby told me. He seemed proud of that fact.

“Oh,” was all I could manage to say.

“It will be okay, Ever. My mom’s not mean or nothin’. She’s just freaking out ‘cause my dad had another kid with another lady is all.”

I knew nothing about dads, let alone dads with hidden kids so I just stood there trying to swallow around the lump that was tuck in my throat. That’s when Toby pulled me close, wrapped me up in a hug, and told me, “Everything will be okay, Ever. Me and Jason will protect you. You’re my sister, and that’s my job. Jay will do it because he’s my best friend so it’s his job too.”

Lucy’s gasping sob at the sight of us, or maybe at her son’s words, drew our attention. It was the first I had noticed that the adults had joined us in the living room. The fake smile Donna had been wearing during our trip brightened and actually looked real for a minute.

“It seems the kids, at least, know what to do to make things work.” Donna spoke the words softly to Lucy who ended up blubbering harder and running for another part of the house. I would later find out she ran to hide her shame over how she had behaved, but at the time I thought it was because she hated seeing her son touch me.

“You’re a good man, Toby,” our dad said to him while ruffling the short brown hair on his head. Toby’s chest puffed up with pride as he finally released me from his hug. Then he turned to Donna and told her, “Don’t worry lady, I’ll make sure she’s happy here and at school.” All the while my new little sister, who was five years old, just sat and watched everything with fascinated interest.

“I’m gonna help make her happy too,” Toby’s friend agreed. It was the first time I’d heard Jay speak, and that sound would stay etched in my heart for a few more years before he found a way to wipe any lingering fondness it once held from what remained of the little hopeful girl residing in my head.

My name is Ever Lee Brothers – a cruel joke my mom played on me, apparently – and I was just finding out what it meant to be the other princess in a motorcycle club family, because once Donna left I was taken to a barbecue party where I got to meet the rest of my new family. At least they were happy to meet me, unlike my new mom who stayed home to take care of her real daughter, Annalise.

~ Ever – 15 years old ~

There is a distinct feeling in the air, maybe it’s the bitter tang of defeat and sorrow, that hovers around you like a cloud on a rainy day when your life is about to plummet head first into life-altering change. I knew that feeling well. It clung to my eight year old memories like a second skin as I relived the nightmare of seeing my mom clutch her head and drop to the floor out of the blue. She never woke back up. My life changed drastically that day, and as a result I will never forget that feeling as long as I live.

It’s important to note that as I stood in front of the bleachers in the school’s gymnasium, searching for my best friend, Erin, that the same peculiar, life-altering zing was in the air. I almost panicked and left the crowded, noisy space. Hell, if I had known exactly how much the next few moments would impact the rest of my high school days I would have fled that moment and never looked back. Too bad hindsight is a bitch for a reason.

I finally locked eyes with Erin whose face crinkled in confusion at the same exact moment a hand landed squarely on my shoulder, holding me in place, so I couldn’t go sit with my best friend. I turned my head to see Jay Donovan standing there and I beamed my trademark bubbly-sunshine smile up at him. Jay was my brother’s best friend already when I came to live with my dad after my mom died. He also became one of my best friends, and my protector. He was also my secret – or not so secret to some – crush. Not that I would ever tell him that. He never saw me as anything more than a friend and surrogate sister. That is exactly why the deep scowl painting his face in anger had my sunshine smile disappearing from my face in the blink of an eye.

“Who the hell do you think you are spreading rumors about Tiffany?” He yelled in my face. “You cornered my girl in the bathroom, and tried to get her to break up with me? You thought that shit would fly? You know you’re nothing but a princess and I’m about to be a patched brother after graduation and you’re trying this shit? I ought to get Double-D to spank your goddamn ass for pulling a stunt like this.”

His rapid-fire, angry, verbal shots were only confusing me more as embarrassment over the fact that he was screaming at me in front of the entire student body was burning through my face. I had to be a disgusting shade of red by now. I just blinked at him, because what could I say to someone who was berating me, telling me he was going to get my daddy to spank me, and doing it all in front of the whole school.

“You fuckin’ step one foot near Tiff, let one more bad word about her come from those lips, and I will personally see to it that you are banned from the club forever.” He shook his head angrily at me before adding the worst insult Id ever heard out of his lips, because he’d never spoken to me in that way before. “You disloyal, ungrateful little bitch,” his words were spat with pure venom and were strong enough to shatter my rampantly beating heart.

A shocked gasp escaped my lips before I could pull it back as I felt white-hot tears spill down my already overheated cheeks with his words. “Your fucking alligator tears aren’t going to fly with me this time, Princess. You fucked up good. I had other bitches try to tell me about your bullshit before, and I always took your side. Looks like I fucked up. Looks like you were more fucked in the head from watching your whore of a mommy die all those years ago than any of us realized.” He looked like he was finally going to leave me there with that parting shot that killed a piece of my soul, but no. He wasn’t quite done with me. He scoffed out a hate-fueled laugh as he glanced back. “And next time you tell a bitch I’m fucking that she’s just a placeholder for when you’re old enough, I want you to remember that you will never be good enough to ride my dick. No matter whom I’m with, you can attempt to ruin it, but it won’t matter. I’ll never be yours.”

Jay clearly didn’t realize that the venomous words he had just spewed at me were the things that would seal that fate more than any actions I had ever taken, because I certainly hadn’t been guilty of the ones he accused me of. Actually, I hadn’t done a single thing he was accusing me of. I was late to this particular assembly because his bitch-ass girlfriend had cornered me in the bathroom on my way here and informed me that I was going to regret remaining friends with Jay after she’d warned me off twice before. I guess she got her wish, after all. I definitely was regretting ever having been his friend, all the wasted years crushing on him, and the heartache I was going to have to get through after this experience burned everything into my soul.

He sneered at me one more time before speaking again. “So, you really have nothing to say? You’re just going to stand there and refuse to apologize, or even say a fuckin’ word?”

“Mr. Donovan!” A teacher was finally cluing in and coming our way. “Office, now!”

It didn’t matter. I took one last look at Jay through my blurry, tear-filled eyes, and I turned on my heels and walked away while an entire gymnasium full of students laughed at me as I went. I caught sight of Tiffany smugly giving me a little princess wave as I walked with my head held high straight out of the gym, out of the school, and then all the way across town until my aching feet carried me home.

When I came through the door of the house Lucy was standing in the living room, just hanging up the phone. “Ever, what the hell happened today? I just got a call from the school saying you ditched…” she glanced up, took one look at the state I was in, and her attitude about me skipping school fell to the wayside as she came forward and pulled me solidly into her tight embrace. “Oh, sweet girl, what in the world happened to you today?” Lucy and I had gotten off to a rocky start, but it wasn’t long before she came around and became the mom to me that I’d been missing since my own had died. Lucy never treated me any differently than her own kids after that initial shock of finding out about me. I was thankful for that in this moment, because I didn’t know whom else I would turn to. Jay might not have been a full patch brother of the MC, but he was a prospect already since he’d turned 18 three months ago. My dad had already said that Jay and Toby would get their full-patch rockers after graduation. So, Jay was his brother. I was smart enough to know that meant that Jay would have my dad’s ear, and I would not be believed over him.

“Baby girl, you have to tell me what happened.” And so I did. I blubbered out the entire story to my step-mom and she sat rocking me on the couch the entire time. Once I was finished she hugged me close again.

“I don’t know what to do, Momma-Luce. I never did those things. I wouldn’t. How could he think that? How could he say that about me being fucked in the head? He did it in front of the whole school!” I was wailing again as I asked her the questions that were on repeat in my head. Jay thought he’d been angry when he’d been led to believe I betrayed him, but I was heartsick and devastated. I hadn’t gotten to the anger portion of my feelings yet. It would come. It just wasn’t going to be today.

Before Lucy could answer any of my questions the front door was flung open and both my dad and my brother came rushing through, gunning for me. “You know better than to mess with a man’s…” the angry tirade on my father’s lips was silenced as Lucy stood like the angry momma bear she was, put herself in between where I sat cowering and where my dad stood shouting and she smacked him right in the face. His eyes went wide with shock, and he actually took a step back from his old lady before glancing back and forth between her and me.

“Don’t you fuckin’ dare come in here screaming your shit in my daughter’s face when you know fuck all about what just happened to her today.”

“Oh I know what…” he started to say, and my mother’s hand went up, not to slap him again, but to stop him from speaking.

“We aren’t at the clubhouse. We are at home. You will listen before you pretend to know something simply because a brother – a prospect actually – told you so.” Lucy then turned to Toby, who was just as tense with anger as my father. “Where in the hell were you today? Why weren’t you there to stop this from happening?”

“I sure as fuck couldn’t be in the girl’s bathroom where she was running her mouth. What do you want?” My brewed spewed out his angry, venom-laced words in such a disrespectful manner that it was shocking. He must have truly believed what Jay had said to mouth off like that to his own mother. I think that hurt worse than standing in front of the entire school while Jay yelled about how I would never ride his dick.

“You stupid little shit! I raised you better than this. I know I did. That girl has had your protection and love since before I was too messed up to give it to her, and you think this is something she would do? You think she has a conniving bone in her damn body? Dig deep, son of mine, and tell me you believe that she has personally set out to destroy every bullshit relationship your friend has attempted to start with a girl. Jay runs through girls like water runs through the creek out back, and that’s no fault of your sister’s. It has more to do with the fact that he can’t keep his dick in his pants for every new shiny thing that pops up to catch his attention.”

At that my dad actually chuckled. My brother looked between our mom and me, but he still didn’t trust what she was saying. That just stabbed the knife of betrayal a little deeper.

“Do you have any idea what your best friend…” she stopped mid question and turned her attention from Toby to my dad before continuing. “What your future club brother, said to her today in front of everyone?”

“Yeah, he chewed her out for running her mouth to his girlfriend,” Toby told her.

“Were you there?” Our mom asked only to have Toby shake his head. “I was in the locker room,” he mumbled.

“I don’t even want to know why,” Lucy stated. Dad chuckled again. “Well, let me set the two of you straight, because what he said had that girl so upset she ran all the way home from school.” At that news my dad bristled.

“Joker’s territory is between here and there.” My dad sputtered out, angry once again. The Jokers were a start-up MC that was made up of pure thugs. I knew better than to go through there on foot, and especially by myself, but I honestly hadn’t been thinking.

“Yeah, she was so upset it didn’t even occur to her how much danger she was in. Let that sink in while you’re busy judging her based on what some jealous high school cunt told your brother.” Lucy huffed. “I don’t care how mad Jay was. I don’t care if Ever did say something to try to sabotage his relationship. What he said to her…” Lucy was shaking. Literally shaking with anger. “He told her she was fucked in the head from seeing her mom die. He told her she would never ride his dick. He screamed it in her face in front of the whole fucking school, and here you two are running in to yell at her some more.”

“What the fuck did you just say?” My dad roared then he turned to Toby. “Get that little prick over here now.”

“No!” I demanded. “It’s done. I don’t want him here today. I don’t ever want to see his face again, actually. I didn’t do any of the things he accused me of. Not that either of you will ever believe me over him. He’s a brother, and I’m just your daughter and sister. I’m not even supposed to be either of things, as I’ve been so kindly reminded by the rest of your MC family ever since I was brought here.” I laughed humorlessly. “I know I don’t matter in this scenario. Jay made that painfully clear earlier when he told me he was going to have you spank me and ban me from the club forever if I ever fucked with his life again. Message received by my entire school and me.” With that, I moved to go upstairs to my room.

“Ever,” my dad croaked out to stop me. I didn’t bother turning to look back at the people who were supposed to be my family. These were the same people who had once professed how they’d always protect me. Jay hadn’t just broken my friendship with him. He’d managed to break my family today, because I would never have faith in the men who were supposed to have my back again.

“I can’t do this anymore today. Please, just leave me the hell alone. Give me that, because if you don’t…” I sighed out. “I have nothing. I had nothing. Now, it seems like I have less than that. I have no threats for what will happen other than my heart breaking even more than it already has today, if that’s possible. If you have any mercy in you at all, you’ll just leave me alone. Please,” the last word was a plea even as it came out on a whisper.

“Go ahead, but we will be talking tomorrow,” my dad informed me. It was obvious from his tone that he still didn’t believe me, even if he might have been pissed about the things Jay said in front of an entire assembly of people. I wondered if he would care if Jay had said those things in front of just the club? I wondered if he would have joined in, or laughed with his brothers at my expense. In that moment, I felt like he would have, because he clearly wasn’t thinking of me at all. He clearly never knew me at all since he believed this nonsense to begin with.

I spent the rest of the night in my room ignoring everyone. Not that there was a lot to ignore from my household. My little sister was clueless about the drama. Neither my father nor my brother bothered to check on me. Whether it was them honoring my wishes or because they didn’t care since I was apparently a disloyal bitch to their brother in everyone’s eyes, I didn’t know. Lucy came to try to get me for dinner. I refused. I didn’t want to be around anyone else in this house. Besides that, I didn’t have an appetite to speak of. Who could really think of eating when their whole world just fell out from beneath them again? The first time, I’d managed to make it eight years before my mom died and my life was turned upside down. Now, it had been almost another eight. Maybe I was doomed to repeat horrible events every eight years?

All I knew was that I was done with Jay. Things would never, could never, be the same again; because the trust I’d had in him was broken. The things he said couldn’t be unsaid, and I was not the only one to hear them. I had no doubt that I would walk into a brand new fresh hell when I got to school tomorrow. So, even if he saw the error of his ways overnight, things would never be the same for me. I was also done with my father and brother. I’d forgive them all eventually, but our relationships would never be what they once were, or what I’d hoped they could be. The fact that they both came in, storming the castle, fire in their eyes, and righteous indignation burning from their pores without a concern for obtaining my side of the situation first… Yeah, that spoke volumes to me. The brother by club was more important than the daughter or sister by blood. Actually, that wasn’t entirely true either, because I had zero doubt the same scenario would have gone vastly different if it had been Anna instead of me. She would have received the benefit of their doubt where I didn’t deserve it. The fact that they all believed I was a person of such abysmal character without even stopping to question it stamped my soul with a taint that I didn’t think I could ever scrub off. The taint they manufactured themselves, even while they apparently all thought I’d carried it with me from birth.

I’ve learned a lot about where I came from since I moved in with my father and his family. My mom apparently cheated on her husband with my dad while at a wild MC party one night. Then she tried to pass me off as her husband’s baby. He didn’t fall for it, because he had been sterile since before they got married. He’d never bothered to tell her that, and let her think that they just had reproductive issues every time she cried about wanting a baby. In the end, her husband had moved her two states away before finding out she was pregnant, and since my mom was already so far from the man who had actually knocked her up, she chose to keep me a secret so she wouldn’t have to share me. She’d wanted a baby for so long, and was already in her mid-40s by the time she got pregnant, that she didn’t want to deal with shared custody or another man trying to tell her how to be parent, or possibly trying to take her child from her.

I get it. The entire club thinks my mom was an evil, conniving, cheating whore. They’ve said as much around me. Only one of them had said it to my face in a mean way, but the rest of them never bothered to filter their opinion when I was around either. Now, I understood why they were always more than a little standoffish with me. I was literally known as “the other princess” meaning my little sister had the official title of the “MC Princess” out of all the kids who had been born to the older brothers. She had been the only girl before I came around. That left me obtaining the title as “the other princess”. It had always left me feeling less than, of course that was probably because the words were never said with kindness.

I would lift my sister up above myself any day of the week, but knowing that everyone else felt I was beneath her, or thought that I was going to turn out like my mom – or their opinion of her – that was a hurt I could never wrap my head around. I hadn’t done anything to earn that sentiment other than being born to the wrong woman. Yet, my own family’s reactions today proved they’d been waiting for the proof that my mom’s DNA had tainted me just as surely as they thought I had been. Never mind I was half my dad too, and that I’d had Lucy raising me almost as long as my own mom had. They were waiting for me to become my mom, and now Jay’s lying-ass girlfriend, and their willingness to believe the worst of me, painted me as the person they always thought I was.

Everyone except Momma-Luce thought so anyway. She had believed me right away. She had held me, stood up for me, and if my heart weren’t so damn broken right now it would swell to bursting with the love and appreciation I had for her.

Before I knew it my alarm was blaring from beside my bed, rousing me for a fresh new school day. I had never, in my entire life, dreaded going to school. Even after my mom died, and I moved to a new town and a new school, I looked forward to the structure and mind-numbing work to keep me occupied. Today though… It was the first day that I didn’t want to crawl out of bed and go be a student.

Lucy had an ice pack ready for my still cry-swollen face when I went downstairs. I gladly threw it over my messy red-tinged cheeks and puffy eyes as I drank the protein shake she’d made me after I declined breakfast. “You missed dinner last night, and I know you’re stomach is probably knotted with tension still, but you need something to help get you through the day,” Lucy had explained while she made it for me. “Are you sure you don’t want to take the day off? We could go to Savannah for the day or something, and walk around, do some retail therapy?”

“Momma-Luce, it will be bad enough going back to school today after what happened yesterday, but it will be far worse to skip out with everyone knowing why. The torment will still be waiting for me when I return anyway.”

She hugged me tight to her side as I heard my brother’s distinctive clomping footsteps enter the kitchen. He must have grabbed something to take with him, because he mumbled out, “Gotta run by the clubhouse before school. Can you drive her?”

I heard Lucy huff from above me, and felt her tense up. She was no doubt giving my brother a death glare, but she agreed to take me to school today as my brother retreated from the kitchen quickly. “If anyone gives you a hard time today I want you to tell me, you hear?” She whispered into my ear.

I just laughed. “Sure, I’ll hand you the school directory when the day’s done.” I took the cool pack from my face in time to see the sympathy etched in her eyes. Momma-Luce wasn’t a dumb woman. She knew exactly how cruel people could be. The club whores had done a number on her years ago, and had driven her away with their antics. That’s why my dad didn’t know he had a son until Toby was three years old.

Once we got to the school I took a deep breath, threw my shoulders back, slung my bag over my right side, and headed into my locker with my head held high. I wasn’t blind or stupid, I saw the people whispering about me as I passed them. I just chose to pretend it wasn’t happening. All of my pretending ended the moment I got to the hall my locker was on. I saw Toby standing in the hallway with his fists clenched at his sides. He looked ready to blow his top. Just down from him were Jay and his girlfriend. She looked happier than a clown being freed from the bottom of clown car pileup. Jay stood stone-faced beside her with one arm slung over her shoulder in a proprietary manor.

Slowing my pace would only delay the inevitable. I moved quickly through the hall until I got to my locker. “Ev,” my brother started to say, but I ignored him and read the writing on the wall – or the locker in this case. “Homewreking Slut” was written there in bright red marker, most likely Sharpie so it wouldn’t be easy to get off.

I sighed and turned to see a group of Tiffany’s bitchy cheerleading friends laughing. I plastered a smile on my face and looked each of them in the eye. “Do they only teach you how to spell out simple words for your cheers? One of you bitches spelled this shit wrong. I’m thinking you need to try harder next time.” With that, I turned and walked away. I’d just carry my little notebook that I kept tucked in my messenger bag with me all day, and transfer my notes where they needed to be tomorrow. It’s not like I did any homework to speak of last night anyway.

“Did she really just try to make us look stupid?” One of the twats asked another.

“Doesn’t she know she’s the home-wrecking slut?” The other asked. “I don’t get it. What does any of this have to do with the cheers we spell out?”

“Way to prove her point, morons!” I heard my best friend, Erin call out as she ran to catch up with me. That was a testament to how rattled I really was. I hadn’t even noticed Erin was back there too.

“You just slayed them with your zero fucks given attitude and the spelling jab. Sadly, they’re too stupid to realize that you made them look like bigger idiots.” Erin told me. I stopped, mid-step, causing her to run into my shoulder.

“How bad is it, Erin? Locker insults aside…”

She frowned at me. “Everyone believes it all, because Jay has never questioned you before or called you out like that publicly. So, they assume there was proof or something, and that you really were trying to break them up to get him to notice you. Of course, that has all the other bitches he’s dated feeling vindicated in the lies they told about you too. So, now everyone thinks you’re some lying, conniving whore.” She winced, so I knew there was more. “And after what Jay said about your mom, they’re repeating that too.”

“Oh,” was all I said. What more could I possibly add? Nothing. Not one damn thing. We started walking again, heading towards my first period class.

“Ev, wait,” I heard Toby call after me. I didn’t even bother looking back over my shoulder the way Erin did when she heard his voice. She had as big a crush on my brother as I’d had on Jay. Once upon a time ago, we fantasized about being true sisters one day when she married my brother and I married Jay. I laughed inwardly at that thought, and continued right on into my class where I sat in my seat in the back corner, took out my notebook, and proceeded to pretend my brother hadn’t followed me inside.

“Mr. Brothers, do you have somewhere you’re supposed to be? I know for certain it is not in my classroom,” my U.S. History teacher scolded him.

“I just need to talk to my sister real quick,” Toby explained.

“It doesn’t appear as though your sister wishes to speak with you, and I will be starting class as soon as the tardy bell rings in about 45 seconds. Get going to class.”

“We’re talking later, Evs.” Toby sighed as he left the room. Mr. Danvers knocked his knuckles against my desk, getting my attention.

“I saw your locker this morning, Ever. I already put in a work order to have it cleaned off. Do you need to talk to someone?”

“No, I’m fine.” My response was curt as Mr. Danvers wrapped his knuckles against my desk once more before moving to the front of the class.

When someone coughed out an, “Ever the Whore” comment a minute later Mr. Danvers spun around and eyed the entire class. “One more outburst like that and this entire class will suffer the consequences.”

It only took about five minutes before some twat called out “home wrecking slut,” and Mr. Danvers threw a can full of pens across the room. “Put your books away. Anyone caught with phones, or any other device out will get a zero on the next five quizzes. Test me if you wish. One piece of paper. One pencil. On your desks now. It’s pop quiz time, and I hope like hell you all studied, because this counts as a big test since you couldn’t keep your mouths shut.”

I aced the quiz, but Danvers did me no favors. By trying to keep kids from harassing me he ended up fueling their hatred even more. The rest of my day went just like that and worse. I actually got punched, kicked, and had my hair pulled throughout the day, randomly, and usually by assholes walking by me in the hall. No one had the balls to stand toe to toe with me. Once, my brother saw a junior boy shoulder check me, and he ended up pummeling the kid right there in the hallway. I didn’t bother sticking around to watch. It was just a shame the kid was a cowardly little asshole and didn’t get one hit in on Toby, because my brother deserved to have his own ass kicked for the way he had treated me the day before. It was rather hypocritical of him to attempt to come to my rescue when he’d destroyed me far more than any shoulder check from a random kid ever could.

The best part of my day had come at lunch when I had an entire plate of spaghetti dumped on me along with the open chocolate milk container that had been on the tray that “accidentally” tipped as someone tripped on their way by me. When I looked up from that incident it was to see Jay siting at a table with his girlfriend watching, and seeming perplexed by the event. Perplexed. Like he was trying to puzzle out why people were treating me so horribly. I turned away from him and walked out of the lunchroom, leaving my own saturated lunch behind on the table as I went. I cleaned up as best I could in the bathroom sink, and continued on with my day, spaghetti stained clothes and all. What did it matter? I’d probably just get worse by the day’s end anyway.

I had two months left of school for the year. It didn’t get much better. Every time my locker was cleaned off something new would be waiting for me the following day. The physical abuse tapered off after my brother got suspended for a third time for beating the shit out of a guy at school who touched me. I refused to speak to my brother though; no matter how many assholes he tackled in the hallway. He still didn’t comprehend the fact that he had caused more damage than all of them put together.

Two months after it started, the night of my brother’s graduation, I sat in the stands with the rest of my family because they wouldn’t allow me to stay home. I sat there and watched as first Toby, then Jay, crossed the stage and accepted their diplomas. Then I watched as that lying cunt that started my descent into hell accepted hers too. Something changed between them all receiving their diplomas and when they came over to see family afterward. Jay looked ashen, like he’d seen a ghost. Toby was fit to be tied, and looked like he was about to blow every gasket that his supreme gear-headed-self was made of.

“What the hell’s wrong with the two of you?” Jay’s dad asked before anyone else could. I was staring off over their shoulders to avoid any possible eye contact, as was my norm these days with all the men in my life.

“Ever,” Jay’s voice was a pained rasp, and probably the only reason I broke my new tradition and glanced over at him. He actually had tears in his eyes. “Fuck, Ever, I’m so fuckin’ sorry. I didn’t know. I thought she had been telling the truth. I thought,” his voice trailed off. I didn’t know how he had found out, but apparently this was him finally feeling a hint of remorse for turning my life to complete shit. I didn’t want to hear it though.

“What in the fuck did you just say, son?” My father asked on a growl. Jay’s punishment for how he handled my supposed betrayal was three extra months to wait for his bottom rocker and to be a full patch member. The club had gone easy on him, because he told them there was proof that I had actually said and done those things. His proof had been “eyewitness testimony” from the bitch’s friends. He didn’t bother letting the brothers know that though. Instead, they took him at his word that the proof was solid since he fully believed I’d been disloyal.

Besides the troubles I’d had to endure at school, I had lost any the confidence that the brothers of the club may have had in me. Not that it was ever even the same level they had in my little sister, but it had been a hell of a lot more than they showed me now. Now, when I walked through the club, on the rare occasion that Momma-Luce made me attend things, the brothers would stop talking if I came within a certain distance of them. I suppose it was because I couldn’t be trusted with their words, even if what they had to say hadn’t been important enough to keep from even the lowly club whores. Yep, because of Jay’s absolute faith in his lying cunt of a girlfriend I was deemed lower than a whore by the club’s standards, and treated thusly. The only thing they didn’t do was outright disrespect me or put their hands on me when someone was around to witness it, due in part to my age, and out of respect for my father who was legally bound to keep me around until I was old enough to kick out. There was one man, PeeWee, who didn’t bother to keep his thoughts to himself. I didn’t bother telling anyone about the awful things he had to say to me though. No one would have believed me, and besides, even if they did they wouldn’t come to my defense against a brother anyway.

“I’m so sorry, Ever! I’m so, so, fucking sorry. Please, you have to believe me.” That did it. That was the last fucking straw.

“Just like you had to believe me?” I asked the question with venom-laced words, and I swear time stood still from how silent everything and everyone became around us. It was as if the whole world – or at least our bubble of it – was holding its collective breath and waiting. “You destroyed me with your words, you allowed everyone around us to continue where you left off, and it was all based on the lies of one of your whores. A whore over a friend. A whore over a sister. You believed a whore’s words over someone who never gave you one damn reason to believe they would ever do a fucking thing in this life, or beyond, to hurt you. Now, you beg for me to believe you?” I sucked in a huge, painful breath before I blew the last of my words out on a damning whisper that was louder than any yelling I could have possibly done.

“You deserve nothing from me but my back. You will get nothing from me but these final words. You get nothing from me ever again except this goodbye. You get the same amount of respect from me that you’ve shown. You get the same loyalty you reaped, and nothing more. You are dead to me, Jason Donovan. I don’t have to believe a dead man’s words. Maybe that will help you sort your priorities in future, but it won’t matter even a tiny bit to me either way anymore.” I heard the gasp from his mother as I spoke, and I knew that my words, my disowning him, hurt her terribly. Once upon a time ago she had helped build up my fantasy of marrying her son one day. The crippling blow I’d just landed cemented the fact that we would never speak again, let alone have any kind of relationship in the future that would cement our two families together as our moms had once hoped.

I walked away from the boy who once owned a piece of my heart only to shatter it along with the rest of my entire world. I said goodbye to the little boy who once helped welcome me into my new family only to be the one to put a permanent wedge between them and me. I heard the scuffling that followed in the wake of my words, but I refused to turn around and even appease my curiosity, because none of them were innocent in the hurt that I had endured. They all played their part in shunning me, in my world becoming a sad place that I’d thought more than once about escaping in a permanent way.

My sixteenth birthday had been two weeks previous, and it had been a low point in all the mental beat downs I had endured. Prior to the incident in the school gym, Momma-Luce had been planning to throw me an epic sweet sixteen party. I had friends back then, more than just my best friend, Erin. The guest list was a good 25 deep before the MC brothers and families were added. I had to tell her to cancel the damn thing, because no one was coming.

Luce had refused to cancel until some of the brothers and old ladies started making excuses for why they couldn’t be there. That was when it finally sank in for Lucy just how bad things had become for me. I think seeing her heart breaking for me, and watching her cry when she got the third pone call in a row saying someone else from our ‘club family’ wouldn’t be attending is what drove me as low as I went that night. I sat there in the bathtub, water cooling around me, and a bottle of Vicodin in my hands. I was ready to swallow every last one of the 18 pills I’d counted out earlier. The thing that stopped me was that I looked down and for one brief moment I saw myself how they would find me. I saw my naked body floating in the tub, and imagined it was my sister that found me dead. I imagined Momma-Luce coming in and finding me. I imagined my brother or my dad seeing me naked and dead. I threw the pill bottle into the wall as I screamed out all the frustrations that I’d kept bottled up for so long. Happy fucking birthday to me. My life was shit.

Luce had come running in the bathroom when she heard me screaming. She looked from me to the bottle that had come open and the pills that were spilled across the floor. “Oh God, no!” Her shrilly screeched words woke me up from the horrible mindset that had taken hold just before.

“I’m not going to do anything. I just… I’m so angry,” I finally said to her. “Don’t tell them. It’ll be one more reason everyone hates me.”

“I won’t tell them, but you’re going to see someone tomorrow. You’re going to tell them everything, get it off your chest, and promise to never think of this again. Do you hear me?” Her voice shook with the emotion she couldn’t contain. I nodded my head and then Momma-Luce damn near ended up in the tub of now-cold water with me as she tackle hugged me. “I’m here, baby!” She cooed the words into my damp hair as her arms secured me to her own frame. “I am here if you need to talk, cry, yell, scream. Please, don’t ever leave me like that. I love you, Ever! I would not survive losing you.”

My anger broke into a million sorrow-filled tears that I cried out on my step-mom’s shoulders that day. She kept her promise to me and never told. I kept my promise to her and never tried that shit again. Although, it would have been a much tougher thing to accomplish as Momma-Luce took her job seriously and emptied our house of every substance I could possibly use to kill myself with. Even the Tylenol was locked up, the liquor was thrown out, and the cleaning products were locked away too. My father thought she had gone nuts, but with all the tension in the house already he didn’t bother her about it, and just continued on in his own oblivious way making me wonder how he functioned as the vice president of a motorcycle club when he didn’t even have the first clue about his own family.

I ended up being pulled out of school two months into the next year, because I was still everyone’s favorite target. The damage had already been done, the fodder had been fed to the masses, and no amount of back peddling on Jay’s part after the fact had helped. They thought he just tried to make up with me after things went sour with Tiffany. I was still somehow labeled a home-wrecking whore even though I was a virgin who had never even been kissed. I was also the girl who missed out on dates, proms, and even being able to walk across the stage at my own high school graduation. Momma-Luce pulled me out of school and put me in an online school that allowed me to graduate early. I enrolled, also online, to University of Georgia – Savannah for my basic courses by the time I turned 17, and started an internship with a local tattoo artist who didn’t mind teaching me even though I wasn’t quite old enough yet.

My life was far from perfect, but I wasn’t ready to give up on it any longer. That was mostly thanks to my Momma-Luce who loved me harder when no one else would. I smiled when I thought back on the time when she swore she wouldn’t be able to love me, because I was another woman’s child. Then she realized I was a child, and had no control over who my parents had been, and she loved me because I had no one. Momma-Luce ended up taking my brother’s place as my hero in the end.