Chapter 13

~ Ever ~

 

Crow was up first since his would be the easier of the two tattoos I had to do. He and my father had come in together and insisted they were to be the first to have theirs done. Crow’s tattoo was going on his left forearm since he didn’t really have room to ink anything anywhere else. I figured it would be fitting since he’d have to see it every day for the rest of his life though. Maybe it would serve as a reminder that he needed to be nicer to people, at least to people he was supposed to give a damn about.

I had Crow’s transfer all ready to go on his skin, but as per our agreement, none of the men could see the tattoos until they were all completely done and healed since we were going to have a ceremony to reveal them to the entire club. In preparing for that eventuality, I had come with a blindfold at the ready. I turned to hold it out to my dad. “Could you do the honors? I don’t think Crow would take too kindly to me blindfolding him since he doesn’t even like me.”

I felt Crow wince beneath my hands as I shaved the fine hairs off of the inside of his forearm to prep for the tattoo. He was watching me, but said nothing to either affirm or deny the accusation. Instead he just nodded at my father who took the blindfold and tied it around Crow’s head making sure that his eyes were covered to a point where he could not see what I was doing. “Now, you need to go, because you can’t see it either. You can either wait in the lobby or in the lounge we have in back.”

“Come on man, I’ll take you to the lounge so our other customers don’t bother you,” Zeke called out to my father as I began prepping the transfer on Crow’s arm.

Once they were gone I finished applying the transfer and got to work, bending over the arm I was working on and doing my thing. I got lost in the work for quite some time before Crow decided to speak. Actually, it startled me a bit, because I hadn’t been prepared for him to talk to me at all through this process. He’d only ever had a very few sparing words to say to me over the years, and nearly all of them were either filled with some sort of spite or hatred I didn’t understand or they were dismissive and left me labeled with a moniker I’d never be able to shake. The one that left me feeling like so much less than my sister and everyone else involved with the club for years. I lifted my iron from his skin as he spoke so I wouldn’t mess up by accident, or poke too deep if whatever he had to say pissed me off.

“I never understood how much of my anger about my own situation I had put off on you over the years. You never deserved an ounce of what I put you through, and for that I am truly sorry, Ever.”

Aside from the small noise I made in the back of my throat, I didn’t respond to that. What was there to say? Instead, I continued inking my pain on this man’s body so he would never forget what he was sorry for. I hoped it also kept him from judging people unfairly as he had done with me. I wasn’t naïve enough to think my tattoo would change this man’s views on the world, but hopefully, having it plainly visible on his body would at least give him pause so no one else had to suffer with the hurt he inflicted on them the way I had over the years.

When we finished up, I put a cotton bandage over the wrapped tattoo and explained the cleaning process to him. “Since your tattoo is in a heavily visible area, I understand you probably won’t be able to avoid seeing it, especially since you need to unwrap it and let it breathe. Just remember when you see it, you may not understand it until I explain it to you.”

“I’m not going to cheat and look at it. My old lady said she’d care for it until it healed. Otherwise, I’ll be wearing long sleeves to hide it. Damn shame we did this in the warmer months though. I’m going to be sweating balls while trying to hide this thing.” His attempt at a joke worked, and we both chuckled while I scooted him out of my chair and to the lounge where my father still waited. “Give me just a minute to clean up, and get your stuff all set,” I told my father and then I hauled ass out of there before I could hear whatever questions my dad was hurling at Crow.

Crow left the studio while my dad was in the chair still. Some sort of club business was going down. They’d actually taken a break half way through the tattoo so they could discuss whatever was going on before Crow took off to ‘handle it’ for them. I didn’t really care what their club business was, but it was interesting to watch the dynamic from the perspective of an inquisitive stranger rather than the unwanted daughter position I’d occupied for so long. It was interesting being this close the fray when I knew I didn’t belong in that world.

“Sorry about that,” my dad offered as he took his seat again, straddling the chair so that I could continue to work on his back, upper right shoulder blade where his tattoo was going. It was one of the few spaces he actually had left on his upper body, and I didn’t want to have to deal with anything involving working on my own father’s lower half where pants needed to come off. Nor was I interested in working on his front side where I would have to watch him looking at me. This was better, more impersonal, considering the extremely personal nature of the tattoo I was inking on him.

“It’s no problem,” I told him, and it hadn’t been. I’d been bent over Crow’s arm, and now my father’s back for the past three and a half hours so I used the time to shake out my hands and grab a drink anyway.

“How much more do we have to go?”

“Probably half way through at this point. Did you need to leave to go handle business? If so, we can wait and do the rest once this heals.”

“No,” my father protested quickly. “I think everyone would shoot me if I made them wait even longer to get to the finish line on this one.”

“Yeah, wouldn’t want to make anyone wait to get over their shit, huh?” I asked with a bit of a bite to my words.

“Ever,” he started to say, but thankfully the bell over the door tinkled, distracting me and forcing him to keep his thoughts to himself.

“Hey man, she’s still working on her dad,” I heard Zeke greet whoever had come into the shop. That meant whoever it was knew my dad and me.

“It’s okay, I spoke to Crow. I knew she’d still be busy for a bit.”

“How did the other night go for you?” Zeke asked, and I tried to tune out the answer as I got back to work and let the buzz of my machine still the conversations going on around me. That was to no avail though, because apparently my father had tuned into the conversation and was paying some serious attention to it.

“Deck took you out?” He finally asked as I swiped away excess ink and blood from where I was working.

“Yeah, the other day,” I explained without detail.

“On a date?”

“Um, I guess so,” I answered as I continued to work.

“What does that mean? Either it was a date or it wasn’t.”

“I didn’t know it was a date until he brought me back home,” I answered and my father immediately stiffened which bunched his shoulder muscles up forcing me to have to stop my work once again. “Calm down, I just didn’t realize. I thought he was just being nice to me. When he asked me on a second date I realized that had been the first one.” I said the words nonchalantly and as my father relaxed I started back in on my work once more.

“I didn’t realize you and Deck, um, you know, liked each other that way.” I shrugged my shoulders briefly in response, not that my father could see.

“I’m sure there’s a lot of things you don’t know about me. It’s no big deal.”

“Fuck!” The word hissed out of my father’s mouth unrestrained. “Ever, it is a big deal. It’s a big fuckin’ deal that I know so little about my oldest daughter. It’s not something I’m proud of, and definitely something I want to change if you’ll let me.”

I didn’t know how to respond to that, so I just didn’t. I continued to work, and let the buzz of my machine fill the silent gaps. It wasn’t that I didn’t want those things too. Hell, I’d dreamed of having my father be interested in my life for such a ridiculous amount of time. Even before I came to live with him, I had wished for a daddy to call my own. I longed for it my entire life. What I didn’t do now was trust his words, because there was only so much let down a person could handle before they gave up on the things they dreamed of coming true. For me, I had given up on my father being a part of my life two years ago. Now, it was hard to fathom that changing, even after the tattoos. Honestly, the whole idea of forgiveness through the tattoos, while wonderful, was still kind of an unknown for me. I didn’t think it was going to be the insta-healer everyone else assumed it would.

As I finished up and explained to my father the dynamics of getting his wife to clean and care for his tattoo I noticed that Deck had edged closer to my space. He was trying to peek at the work I’d done so I moved in order to block his view. I heard him chuckle in response as he greeted my father. “Double-D,”

“Deck,” my father returned the one name greeting. “You getting some work done too?” My father asked.

“Nah, just here to see Ever.”

“Hmm.” Double-D made the non-committal noise and then grabbed my business card off the desk that sat to the side of my chair. “I’ll have Luce give you a call if she has any trouble with it. You know she’ll be able to see it if she’s caring for it though.”

“I don’t think she’ll spill the beans, so it’s fine.”

“You’re probably right. She thinks I deserve to wait it out with everyone else. Says you’ve had to wait years for me to step up and be a real dad, that it won’t hurt me to have to wait on you now.” I glanced up at my father then, because what he was saying seemed like more than just Lucy’s regurgitated words. “She’s not wrong, Ever, and I’m so damn sorry baby.”

Shit. He was making me tear up, and I really didn’t want to do that. Not here. Not in front of all the people I worked with and Deck. They all had gotten too many glimpses of my pain as is, I was getting really sick of having to share it with them. I just nodded at my father and then turned my back, cleaning up my space to keep my hands occupied since they were shaking. I heard what sounded like a hand slapping leather, and then my father’s gruff voice, low so as not to be overheard. “Be good to her,” he stated and then I heard the clomp of his boots on the floor as he walked away.

Once I had everything squared away I turned to see Deck smiling at me. “Everything go okay today?”

“Yeah,” I managed to get out before a single traitorous tear slipped down my cheek. “Sorry,” I whispered as I turned my head away to swipe the rogue tear from my face.

“Don’t,” Deck admonished as he came over to me, pulled me close, and moved to wipe the tear away himself. “This whole process is bound to be emotional, Ever. I don’t think anyone is expecting anything different. Just, don’t hide from me, okay?”

I shook my head in agreement just before he cradled my face with his hands, kissed my forehead, and pulled me into the warmth of his chest. “What do you say we get out of here for a bit so that you can let go all of the built up tension?”

“I’d like that,” I explained to his chest where I was still resting my head and taking in his fresh scent of leather and the sea. I’d bet money that he’d been out on the water today, or at least as close to it as he could get, because he smelled like salt water and sunshine on top of the leather. Don’t ask what sunshine smelled like. It was just this innate warmth that seemed to cling to the man I was leaning into. I waved to Zeke as we left since he was the only other person there. He tipped his chin up at me in acknowledgment and we slipped out of the shop without another word.

It wasn’t until we were taking off and pulling out into traffic that I noticed my father was sitting on his bike across the street watching us. I wondered what that was about, but as soon as Deck kicked his bike into higher gear and our speed increased with it any questions lulling around in my head were sent to rest as the thrill of the ride overtook me. I could not contain the joyous smile that graced my face as we moved along the street, weaving in and out of the slower vehicles as we passed. I understood completely why the men of the club were so in love with riding. I just wished one of them would have shared it with me sooner. As I let my mind drift, I changed my opinion. I was glad it was Deck I was sharing this with. It seemed right this way, because I didn’t think he’d ever do anything to taint the experience.

When we pulled up at the movie theater I laughed a little. “Date number two has you laughing already?” Deck asked me as he dismounted his bike and offered me a hand with getting myself off as well. My legs felt better this time, but I wasn’t kidding myself that I was used to the rumbling ride and therefore my legs were unaffected. It had just been a much shorter ride than yesterday’s.

“No, I don’t know why it struck me funny that you brought me to see a movie.” I shrugged my shoulders while I stalled to find the right words. “I don’t think we’ve ever even watched a television show together,” I told him as if that was enough explanation for him to get it.

“Yeah, so there are a lot of things we are going to be doing that we’ve never done before, Ever. That’s what dating is all about.” He winked at me, secured my helmet to his bike, and then took my hand. Our fingers laced together as we walked side by side to the front of the theater. I gazed at the marquee, but wasn’t really seeing what any of the words there actually said since I was having trouble seeing past my excitement.

“What do you feel like watching?” Deck glanced down at me then and it was his turn to chuckle. “I think you had a fair point a minute ago, because I just realized I don’t know what you might want to see.”

“So, what if I said that one,” I pointed to a movie poster highlighting a tortured looking couple in the latest romantic drama. Deck let out a sigh and squeezed my hand.

“Then I guess we’re seeing that one,” he offered while trying to hide the slight grimace that he couldn’t quite contain. It made me laugh once more. “I love that look on you,” he admitted, smiling genuinely then.

“What look is that?”

“You laughing. I haven’t seen much of it since I’ve been back. You used to laugh a lot when you were hanging out with our brothers before I left, but since I’ve been back, I’ve seen you do it only a couple times.”

“Not much to laugh about before you came back, I guess.” I turned back to the movie posters lining the wall, because somehow the pictures were easier to navigate than the blurring words on the marquee. “And for the record, I do not want to see that movie, at all. I’m thinking that one.” I pointed toward the poster indicating the latest comic book super hero movie, and I watched as instant relief swept over Deck. It nearly made me laugh again.

“You’re sure?”

“If you really want to see the other one I’ll make the sacrifice for you, but I’ve been dying to see how this one turns out.”

“Thank fuck,” he hissed out while using our twined hands to pull me closer to his side. He leaned in and kissed the top of my head as he moved us forward to the window to purchase our ticket.

Two and a half hours later we emerged to a thoroughly darkened sky, and my belly grumbling like I hadn’t eaten in a week. “Let’s go get some food in you before your body revolts any further,” Deck teased.

“That’s so embarrassing. You’d think the popcorn would have staved off the hunger pangs, but I guess not. That’s what I get for working through lunch after I was too nervous to eat breakfast,” I lamented with a pout of my lower lip at the end for effect.

“You didn’t eat all day?” I shook my head in the negative as we continued to walk toward Deck’s bike. “Why the hell not?” Concern was evident in his voice as he asked.

“Like I said, I was too nervous. I only found out that morning which two people were coming in for their tattoos, and when I knew who it was my nerves got the best of me for a bit. I had a pack of crackers when my dad and Crow had to take a break to handle business, but other than that, I just couldn’t stomach anything.”

“Jesus, you don’t have to keep doing the tattoos if they’re upsetting you, Ever. It was supposed to help heal, not add turmoil to your life.”

“I’m fine, Deck. Really. I’m not as concerned with the others. Crow has always put me on edge and working on my dad was nerve racking. That’s all.”

“Okay, well, it won’t be as fancy as yesterday, but I think I know the perfect place to take you since you’re so hungry.” I cocked an eyebrow up at him in question, but his only response was to lean in and place a gentle kiss upon my lips. It was such a quick gesture that I didn’t even have the chance to savor it before his lips were gone again and he’d placed my helmet on my head. Luckily he turned his back to me while mounting his bike before my lip poked out in another pout.

When we pulled into Big Gun Burger Shop a little later I had to laugh again. This was actually the place I’d last been with Deck before he left for the Army. His family had wanted to give him a sending off meal outside of the club, and this is what he’d picked. It had always been his favorite place for some reason, and now I had a sneaking suspicion it was about to be one of mine too.

~ Declan ~

Eating with Ever was a treat. She knew no shame, and didn’t have that thing that other girls and women had where they were afraid to eat in front of a guy. She inhaled her Bungalow Burger almost as fast as I put down my Inferno. I just grinned at her the entire time around each mouthful I consumed.

“Oh my God! That was so good. I forgot how much I loved that burger,” she cooed.

“When was the last time you were here?”

“When you left,” she answered and her admission sent a stab straight to my heart. “Don’t give me that look,” she carried on. “I’ve eaten out since you left, I just never got to come here again for some reason.”

“I didn’t think you were held captive in a dungeon while I was away, Ever. I’m just wondering why you wouldn’t want to experience these burgers on the regular.”

“Well, I’m sure my heart will thank me for the lengthy break, but now that I remember how much I love it here, I guess I’ll be coming back.” She appeared thoughtful for a moment as she remembered something. I wasn’t sure if I should ask what it was about so instead I figured I’d make her a little promise.

“Oh, we’ll be coming back, all right!” Her eyes lit up when I made the comment, and it struck me that she must have liked the idea of us coming back together even more than she seemed to enjoy the burger she’d just put down. Mission Accomplished, because it put the smile back in her eyes and removed the doubt I’d seen there for a moment.

“Do you miss the Army?” Ever finally asked once the silence between us started to linger. I swiped at my lips with a napkin before answering.

“I do and I don’t. It’s good to be home where I know I can trust the people at my back with anything.”

“You couldn’t trust the guys you were stationed with?”

“Not all of them, no.” When she just stared at me, anticipating the why I sucked it up and told her my story. I’d once thought it was a bit heartbreaking, but seeing Ever now, being here with her, I knew I hadn’t lost anything back then.

“I dated one woman seriously while I was away, and I’d come home earlier than expected from a temporary duty assignment to find her in bed with a man I’d considered my best friend at the time. I had come home with a ring, because I’d planned on asking her to marry me.” Ever’s eyes grew wide with surprise, and then a little cloudy as she moved her gaze away from me, dropping it to her empty plate.

“That sucks,” she whispered.

“I thought so at the time, but honestly, I think Michaels did me a favor, because I had just been infatuated with her. I hadn’t actually been in love.”

Ever scrunched her brows together in confusion before she asked, “What makes you say that?”

“Because now I know the difference.” That didn’t really clarify things for her, but as I watched her across the table from me I knew the man I’d once called a friend had done me the biggest favor of all. I’d never felt a tenth in Sasha’s arms that I felt in that moment sitting across from Ever in a burger joint. Sasha could never compare to the gorgeous woman before me. She lacked the strength, conviction, passion, and definitely the innocence that made Ever so damned attractive it was nearly unbearable.

“And you don’t think the guys from the club would ever stab you in the back, or steal your woman?”

“Hell no,” I started to state emphatically, but I lost the wind in my sails, as the look on Ever’s face pierced my heart in yet another way. The curious, wondrous emotion that flitted there made me want to swallow my initial reaction. My club brothers had stabbed her in the back while she was still basically a child. “Ever,” I started to backtrack for a moment, but she held her hand up to me to halt the words.

“No, it’s okay that you feel that way, Deck. I’m glad you have that. They’re different with the men in the club than they are with anyone else. I honestly don’t think you would ever have to worry about them betraying you, at least not in the classical way. I admire that, and I wonder what its like, but that doesn’t mean you have to feel a different way just because my experience was different. I know my place in that world,” she offered the last with a humorless chuckle I wish I could wipe away.

“Your place in that world is changing, Ev.” I wanted her to believe that, because if I were going to stick it out with the club then she would have to be a part of that too. It occurred to me, and not for the first time, that if I continued to make Ever mine that I may have to make a choice between her and the club I’d been raised in. She gave me a dubious look that I had to question. “You don’t think so?”

“I know you have faith in them, but you weren’t here to see what it was like for me. I don’t think I can believe it will change. Even after I worked on Crow and my dad today, I just…” she looked away as if searching for the rest of her words across the crowded restaurant. “I don’t trust them anymore, and doing these tattoos may offer some closure, but it doesn’t patch over the holes they left in me. You know?”

I swallowed thickly, wishing this wasn’t as difficult as it was shaping up to be. A choice was definitely going to have to be made, and if I stepped off the wrong path I stood to lose everything. The honest truth was that no matter which way I stumbled it seemed I would lose. Choosing Ever had seemed so easy, initially, but now I wondered what a life without the club would truly look like. I knew I’d be a happy man if I could spend my life with Ever, but I also knew there would be a hole in me where the club should be too. I just hoped I never had to make the choice between the two. It was becoming clear that I had been somewhat naïve in thinking the tattoo idea would be a solid fix for everything. We didn’t have much else to say as we were leaving the restaurant. I planned on having a serious talk with her when we got back to her apartment about where I saw things going for us, and how serious I was about her, until then, I was attempting to gather my thoughts so I had the perfect words to persuade her to trust me just a little more than she already had.

Once again, as I was dropping Ever off at her apartment, I received a text commanding me back to the clubhouse. This time I glanced around her street looking for something, and I found what I was looking for in the shadows between the coffee shop and a little boutique across the street. A motorcycle was nearly hidden there, and my blood began to boil. Instead of heeding the message and running straight to the clubhouse I took my time, kissing Ever deeply right there on the landing outside of her apartment. Whoever was in the shadows watching us would have a great view, and could take it back to the club. I had no doubt it was a prospect stuck on Ever-watch duty, but the fact that he was feeding the club her whereabouts when she was out with me pissed me off. It also made me rethink the conversation I’d had with Ever about trusting my club brothers. Clearly, there were some boundaries being overstepped that needed clarifying.

“I have to get going, babe,” I told her before laying another smoldering kiss on her pillow-soft lips. The whimper that came in response nearly had me forgetting my duty to the club. The only thing that stopped me was the fact that this was only our second date, and Ever had never been with a man before. She deserved for us to take it slow and for her memories of us together to not seem as though they were rushed. I pulled away from her lips once more, regretting the fact that I had to, yet warmed at the blissed out smile she greeted me with.

“Is it always like that?”

“What?” I asked, unsure of what she was getting at.

“Kissing, is it always like that?”

“No babe, it’s not. That feeling is only there when it’s someone special, something special.”

The wattage on her smile ramped up even more, if that was possible, and she ghosted her finger over her bottom lip before she managed to speak again. “Then I’m glad I waited for you.” Her words were a whisper on the wind, but just as permanent as if she’d tattooed them on my heart herself. I leaned in and stole one more kiss before scooting her inside her apartment so I could get going.

“Lock up babe. We’ll pick this up another night, and believe me, next time, my phone will be turned off.” Her answering giggle was all I needed to hear to set my heart quaking inside my chest. Jesus. This girl was going to be my undoing.

“Ride safe, Deck,” she called as the door shut behind her. I stood, listening to her engage the locks, and then I turned in time to see the bike that had been parked in the shadows taking off. Sure enough, it was one of our prospects. That did not bode well for the conversation I was about to have once I got back to the clubhouse.

 

~*~

“Double-D around?” I asked Trunk as I walked through the door, because he was the first person I saw.

“Yeah, he’s in a meeting with Merc right now, but they should be finishing up soon.”

“Good, can you let them know I’m here since they summoned me?” It was obvious by the growl in my voice that I wasn’t happy with the summons, yet it only made Trunk grin.

“Come on man, did you think you could date the VP’s daughter and not have him come down on you?”

“Honestly?” I asked. He tipped his head in a nod. “I didn’t think anyone here would give a shit about Ever’s dating life.”

Trunk bristled at that. “I’ve always given a shit about that girl,” he intoned darkly.

“Then you’re probably the only one,” I hissed back.

“Damn, but they fucked shit up, didn’t they?”

“Yeah, and after hearing what Ever had to say tonight, I’m not so certain that these tattoos will be the salve on that wound that I thought they would be.” Trunk clapped his meaty hand down on my shoulder.

“Don’t give up on it now, brother. Never know how these things will turn out. I have faith in Ever. If you want her, she’ll try for you.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of,” I admitted.

“How so?”

“I don’t want her to be uncomfortable and to try to be a part of something she no longer trusts and wants to be around just to make me happy. I think that will cause too much resentment down the road, you know?”

“And what about if things go the other way, you don’t think you’ll resent her the same way?” My shock must have shown on my face, because he moved in so that his words wouldn’t run the risk of being overheard. “Don’t think I haven’t put two and two together. If she can’t hack being around the club, I don’t see you sticking around anymore either.” He moved back to look me dead in the eye then. “I would be behind that decision completely, if it came to it, man. She deserves to have someone in her life who would choose her, and I see it in your eyes. You’ve already made that choice, you’re just waiting to see if it’s necessary.”

“I think they fucked up with your road name, man. Your size is not your biggest attribute,” I said speaking of the fact that the man missed absolutely nothing.

“I know,” he offered with a shit-eating grin. “It’s my beauty,” with that he was off to the back where the offices were, laughing as he went. I just shook my head and made my way over to the bar to wait for Double-D to join me.

It wasn’t Double-D who plopped down on the stool beside me a couple minutes later. I didn’t bother to look up though, because I could smell the cloying perfume that always turned my stomach. That was something else I loved about Ever. She was all natural with hints of vanilla that clung to her in the subtlest of ways. The over powering flowery scent of whichever whore had parked her ass to my left could learn a thing or two from Ev about subtlety. I twitched my arm back as soon as the woman reached out to trace a finger down my forearm. She damn near touched the tattoo Ever had drawn for me, and that was unacceptable.

“What’s the matter, baby?” She mock pouted. “I’ve been waiting for you to notice me since you got back to town.” At that, I turned to take her in. At first glance, it was obvious she was one of the club’s whores. Her surgically enhanced tits were all but hanging out of the tight little Aces High Support tank top she wore, and the short denim skirt she had on wasn’t much more than a belt, revealing the length of her overly tanned legs and a hint of her black lace panties. Her face, overdone with makeup, seemed familiar although I couldn’t quite place her. At my puzzled look, she spoke again. “It’s me, Daphne Jacobs,” she breathed out as if her name was sexy and should mean something to me.

When I didn’t respond she gave an indignant little huff. “We went to high school together,” she added.

“Okay,” was the only response she got as I tapped the bar in front of me to signal the prospect that was tending it to snag me another beer. As he pushed the new bottle into my hand Daphne leaned in making sure her tits touched the back of my upper arm.

“Why don’t we go get reacquainted upstairs?”

“No.” It was a simple word, but conveyed a lot. She moved back slightly, but then just grinned at me.

“You don’t mean that. Why don’t you finish your beer and come find me, Sugar. I’ll make you forget about whatever’s putting that little frown on your face.”

“You are the only thing putting a frown on my face, now get the hell out of my space, Daphne.”

“You’re serious?” She asked as if she’d never been turned down before, and in this place, chances were she hadn’t.

“As a fuckin’ heart attack,” I hissed. Then I watched as Daphne cleared away from me as if the fires of hell were licking at her heels.

“You could have been nicer,” Double-D stated as he sat down on the other side of me from where Daphne had just vacated her seat. I turned to glare at him.

“Why would I do that? It only encourages them.”

“Most of the single guys here don’t mind encouraging them,” he pointed out.

“Well, I’m not most of these guys, and I’m not quite single either.”

“I think we should talk about that last bit,” Double-D intoned.

“Okay, then here it is, I’m seeing Ever. That’s not going to change any time soon, if at all, and the babysitting detail you have on her when she’s with me is going to end as of now.”

Double-D grinned at me, but I didn’t make the mistake of thinking he was actually amused. I knew him, and he was definitely gearing up for a fight. He didn’t start where I thought he would though, instead he went right to the heart of the issue. “Don’t think the tattoos are going to wipe the slate clean with all the trouble the club has caused her. She doesn’t want to be a part of the club any more. Where does that leave you, if you get involved with her?”

“I guess that would leave me with a decision to make, but you’re wrong.” At least I hoped we were both wrong. The familiar cocking of his eyebrow – a gesture Ever had inherited from him – let me know he wanted me to elaborate. “All she’s ever wanted is to belong to the club the same way your other children do. To belong to you the same way they do. That has never changed for her. I can see it in her eyes when she allows herself to talk about all of you. She’s just distanced herself, because she couldn’t handle more disappointment and rejection from the people who were supposed to love her and look after her. I can’t blame her for that, but I can give her the space to work out how she wants to handle it moving forward.”

I watched as Double-D put his hand up to his chest and rubbed there, as if massaging away an ache, or attempting to. He shook his head at whatever thought was flitting through his mind before he spoke again. “I fucked up big with that girl. I didn’t see it at the time, because I had a whole club full of assholes at my back telling me I was doing right. Hell, I had all the fucked up history with Lucy and me riding my ass too. Thought there was no way she wouldn’t look at Ever and be reminded of all our bad shit. The first couple years, I just knew she’d eventually pack up and leave me because of that girl.” I shook my head in disbelief, because he had it all wrong. Anyone who saw Lucy and Ever together could have told him that, but then again he had a club full of assholes feeding into his bullshit instead of setting him straight. “Never thought I’d say this, because I think you’re too fuckin’ old for her right now, but I can’t stop thinking about the night of the barbecue when you stood up for my baby girl the way no one had bothered to do before, outside of my Lucy. She deserves that. She deserves someone who will fight for her, even against his own brothers, her father, or whoever goes against her. As long as you can keep giving her what she needs we won’t have a problem. If you’re going to choose her, make sure you’re all the way in, no matter what.”

“You know what that might mean?” I asked the question, but I could tell by his steely gaze that he knew exactly what he was telling me. If it came down to it, he wanted me to be the man who would chose his daughter over the club. He wanted me to be the man he couldn’t be for her. I nodded my head and watched as he got up off the stool and walked out of the clubhouse. I wondered what his tattoo was, and how Ever had etched her pain into his skin, and it made me wish this process could go faster so I could see it all for myself. I wanted to see her take on the damage they had done, and if this would be enough to heal her so I wouldn’t have to walk away. There was no question in my heart that I would walk away from it all for her. I just hoped she was ready for that, because I also hadn’t forgotten that she was new to everything where relationships were concerned, and I didn’t want her to wake with regrets one day.