Chapter 4

~ Ever ~

It didn’t take long to box all my things up once I got back home. I didn’t have much to begin with. I was never a high-maintenance kind of girl so I had very few clothes, a few pairs of shoes, minimal hygiene items, and then my art supplies. They were actually the bulk of my possessions. I had a small box of things that had been salvaged from my mom’s belongings by my old social worker, Donna, before all the rest of my old life had been sold off at auction. There was supposed to be an account somewhere with my name on it that contained the monetary equivalent of what was left of my mother’s life, but I had yet to gain access to it.

It didn’t really matter though. I had three years worth of savings in the bank. Every single penny I had earned had gone into that account, waiting for this day. One phone call to Zeke Marks, my mentor at Permanent Marks – Charleston and I had access to the small apartment over the shop that he’d offered to me a time or two before over the past year and a half. I borrowed my brother’s beat up old pickup truck that sat outside, hauled all the boxes to the back, and took off for my new place. Once Zeke handed off the keys and helped me take everything upstairs I drove back to the house and dropped off my brothers’ truck, the keys, my house keys, and the keys to the car that I had been allowed to use since I turned 16.

Yeah, that was another tick in the box against my father. My brother had been given his beat up old pickup truck, title and all, when he turned 16. My father told him it would be his wheels to get him to a job so he could buy his own motorcycle like a man should. When it came my turn, two years later, I was given access to use Lucy’s old car when I asked, or when it was necessary to get back and forth to work. It had never been mine though, so I wasn’t about to attempt to take it with me. I wouldn’t need it anyway since I’d be living above the shop where I worked.

No one had been home either time I stopped by the house so I assumed the party continued on at the clubhouse despite my little tantrum. Not that I harbored any doubts the party would end, but just for once I would like to think that something would affect those guys where I was concerned. I suppose that little girl in me who always saw how all the men treated Annalise still hoped that they would find the same kind of love in their hearts for me. I knew better, and yet hope was a bitter bitch sometimes.

I took one last glance at the only home I’d known in the past ten years; and I swallowed down the thick emotion that threatened to choke me as I turned to walk away. The Uber I had called on my way here was just pulling up to take me to my new apartment. It was time to branch out on my own completely and make something of my life outside of the club, my family, and all the people that had watched me live a miserable existence while doing nothing to pull me out of it. It was time to find a reason to live again, because I needed more than the half-hearted promise I’d given my stepmother that night she found me in the bathtub with all those pills. I needed something to breathe life back into me, because I was drowning still, and I sincerely wanted to see what life would be like on the surface.

~*~

“Hey girly, I hear you moved in upstairs this weekend,” Kane tossed over his shoulder as I walked by his station heading to clean up the area where I would be working today. Kane was a large man, built like the proverbial brick shit house with muscles that covered every inch of his six foot, three frame. His piercing blue eyes and chocolate hair just added to the male model look he had going on. Of course, he would be one of those rugged book cover models or something though, because his tattoos and overall demeanor lent to a much edgier quality than a typical model had. Not that his looks ever really spoke to me on a personal level. Kane was my best friend’s big brother, and while he’d always been nice, he’d basically gone out of his way to avoid me whenever I’d been around as we were growing up.

“Yep,” I answered without elaborating. Everything seemed too still in the wake of my one word reply so I turned back toward Kane to see him eyeing me in an odd way.

“If you need to talk, kid, you know any of us are here to listen.”

“Thanks,” I stated before turning around and getting busy again. I wasn’t sure I was ready to talk to anyone about the mess my life had been, because as long as I wasn’t admitting that shit to anyone outside of my therapist, then I could hold back the pity party and the tears I’d want to shed on my own behalf. Denial was key to everything.

“Okay then,” Kane tacked on before getting back to work on the piece he was adding to some guy’s calf. I spent the rest of the afternoon getting lost in the monotony of cleaning the stations post tattoos as well as prepping them prior to the next client on the schedule. I even helped Ari, our piercer, work his magic on a few of his clients. The busier I remained the better. It was nearing five in the evening when I was about to get off work that I started to worry a bit about having to go back to the apartment upstairs alone. While I hadn’t felt like my family had my back in a long time, I always knew that Lucy was there for me. All I had at the moment was the tiny little television Zeke had left behind as company.

The jingling of the door didn’t phase me, because I knew all my work for the day was done so I continued ignoring whomever had entered and was about to head upstairs when Zeke cleared his throat and basically growled at the person who had just come in. “I don’t know why you just walked through our doors, but you can turn right the hell back around and see your way out.”

That got my attention, and I turned to see Declan standing there with his hands up in the air as if he were surrendering to Zeke. “I’m not here to start shit, man. I just wanted to check on Ever and make sure she was all right. Her mom said she moved out last night after a scene at the clubhouse.”

I didn’t bother moving, and I knew that Deck could see me standing there just as well as I could see him, but I had no clue why he was checking on me.

“Well, she’s alive and kicking. You’ve seen for yourself, and now you can go back and report that shit to your boys.”

Deck’s nostrils flared as his eyes narrowed in on Zeke. “I’m not reporting on her for anyone. Ever is someone I care about, and had I known shit was going down the way it did, I would have found a way to come back sooner to straighten that out.”

This was where I decided I had to step in, be a grown up, and handle my own issues. Mostly, it was because the guys at the shop didn’t actually know my business. They knew there was a falling out between the club and me, which is why I was apprenticing with them and not over at Aces Ink, but they never pressed for more information, and I wasn’t inclined to offer it up since I didn’t want to see the pity or the disdain in their eyes that I assumed would be there.

“It’s okay, Zeke. Deck can come on back. I was just heading upstairs anyway since I’m done here.”

“You sure, Ev, because I’m not afraid of the Asses.” Most people shortened Aces High MC to The Aces, but my boss decided to dub them the Asses when he saw my work and heard that they didn’t bother to try to snatch my talent up for themselves.

I chuckled as I shook my head. “I promise, he’s not one to worry about.” I tipped my head indicating we were going to head up to the stairs to the left that would lead to my apartment. “Come on, Deck, we can talk up there.”

Deck didn’t waste a minute in following behind me. Once we were upstairs and the door was shut behind us, Declan took a look around the place. Everything was still in the boxes and garbage bags I’d managed to pack it all into because I hadn’t had a chance to go through it all yet. “So, this is your new place then, huh?”

“Yeah, Zeke offered it up a while back, but I was hoping to get on as a full time artist before I took it.” I shrugged my shoulders. “My time table just got moved up a little bit is all.”

“Understandable considering that shit show last night,” Deck muttered before turning back to look me over. “You doing all right with all of that?”

I plopped down on the little futon couch that Zeke had left behind when he moved into his own house. It was currently doubling as a couch and bed for me since I didn’t take any furniture or anything from my father’s house. I figured, much like the car situation, none of it belonged to me so I’d left it all behind. “I’m fine. Last night was nothing in comparison to the last few years. It was just a long time in the making, I guess.

“I don’t get it,” he all but whispered as he shook his head and came over to join me on the futon. “When I left, I thought everything was good. I guess I never noticed the way the guys at the clubhouse treated you differently than Anna. Then again, I usually only saw you at our house or your dad’s.”

I shrugged my shoulders apathetically once more. “It’s fine. Seriously, I’m over everything.”

“Ever, there should have never been anything for you to have to get over. I was so fucking appalled by that scene last night. I ended up laying into all those fuckers before I left not too long after you did.”

That got my attention. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, I told them about themselves last night, and how I wasn’t sure I wanted to even be one of them anymore, because I’ll be damned if I want to be associated with a bunch of assholes who would treat an innocent little girl the way they’ve all apparently treated you all these years.”

“Huh,” I huffed out, not having expected that at all. It had been a long time since anyone but Lucy had been in my corner. Toby still tried once in a while, but not when it came to a brother. He never would say anything against them no matter what.

“You should know, my mom left with me after you did. She rode off on the back of my bike. I’m thinking that killed something in my dad, because she’s never ridden with anyone but him before. She chewed their asses out too, Ever. Her heart’s broken, because she feels like she lost a daughter when everything happened with Jay.”

I sighed and just leaned back further into the squishy futon. “I don’t know what to say here, because I’m sorry she was hurt in all this, but I couldn’t be around her because she was always with your dad and Jay. It was just too much.”

“I get it. After hearing everything, and seeing what you’ve been through, I get that, and so does mom. She doesn’t blame you at all. She blames them, and she told them all as much before she left.”

I nodded my head and just stared off into space for a bit letting everything he was saying settle in. “Why did you say anything to them?”

“Why wouldn’t I? I can’t believe no one else has done it sooner. Jesus, Ever, you never did anything to deserve the way any of them has treated you. Most of all, my dumb ass brother, and all the bullshit he put off on you. I read every one of your letters, honey. At least, until you stopped sending them.”

I cringed, thinking of all the things I’d said and complained about in those letters to him. Sure, I’d mailed them to him, but I didn’t always get a response so somewhere in my head it felt more like writing a page in a diary that a real person would never see. “I stopped doing a lot of things around that time. I hope you didn’t take it personally.”

“Well, I took it personally for a while, because when I asked the family what was up with you, Jay told me you two were fighting, and I wondered why the hell you had to take it out on me. Now, I get it. He had all the brothers turned against you. Why would you think I was any different?”

“I guess I did kind of feel like that.”

“I am different, Ev. Had I known…” His voice trailed off as I lifted my hand in an effort to stop his speech.

“No use living in the past. What’s done is done, and neither of us can change that shit now. Thank you for sticking up for me last night. Let your mom know I appreciate it too.”

“Sounds like I’m being dismissed?” It came out as more of a question. I faked a yawn and looked him in the eye.

“I’m just really tired. I had a long night, and I’ve been working all day. I still have to organize all my stuff tomorrow, so if you don’t mind…”

He stood from the futon and moved until he was just in front of me. “Ever, you will always have me, no matter what. My loyalty isn’t to the brotherhood the way theirs is. Sometimes there are more important things in this life, and I’m guessing after last night a few of the MC brothers are starting to realize that. You have more than just Lucy in your corner, okay?”

I nodded my head to Deck before tipping it back so that I could look up at him. A weak attempt at a smile placated him a bit and he started for the door that would lead back down to the shop. “There’s a side door there, if you want to avoid going through the shop,” I informed him as I pointed to the door that lead to the outside stairs.

“Call if you need anything,” he offered and then he was gone. I was left wondering what I was supposed to do with the wall I’d built around my heart, because there was no way Deck could scale that sucker, and it probably wasn’t fair to ignore him because of what all his club brothers had done to me. That would be the pot calling the kettle black for sure. Still, I didn’t think I had it in me to trust a soul who wore the Aces High Patch on their kutte.