Chapter 17

~ Ever ~

For the next two weeks Deck and I were almost inseparable. Aside from the time I was at work, or he was off doing whatever he did for the club we were together. Deck explained to me that he didn’t really have to work a normal job, because he hadn’t spent a dime of the money he made in the military. He had invested every penny. His living expenses were paid for, and apparently Merc and his mom had been sending him money while he was away too. They thought it would help him get a leg up on life once he figured out where he wanted to settle down, in case it meant not coming back here to Charleston, which had almost been the case when he nearly got engaged to a woman who wasn’t from here.

Since Deck didn’t work a normal job, unless the club needed help from him in some capacity, he was available to be around, and more often than not could be found hanging in the studio while I worked. He had mentioned something about helping Zeke with some investments too, which gave him good reason to be there aside from me. It was sweet that he wanted to be close, but Zeke did end up kicking him out a few times after Deck got a little territorial with some clients who attempted to flirt with me without realizing I belonged to someone already. We managed to work through those little bouts of male caveman behavior though, because he saw I handled those guys, and sent them on their way if they were disrespectful or put them in their place if they were nicer about it. Generally speaking once I said I was taken, they would glance around and assume it was one of the large men from the studio anyway, and they kept their mouths shut after that.

Beyond those little hiccups, everything was like living in a dream. I knew the guys in the shop had endless tormenting quips to throw at me about how I was walking on clouds, and had rainbows shooting out of my butt. They weren’t wrong though. It was like living in an extended state of bliss. I hadn’t even slept in my own apartment since the night Deck took my virginity. We’d been crashing at his house every night. Actually, that was kind of brought to my attention when Gretchen asked me if I planned on moving out of the apartment upstairs. She did it while Deck was standing beside me too.

Deck smiled like the cat that ate the canary. “Why would you ask that?”

“Well, you haven’t been staying there, right? I thought if you were moving in with Declan that I could take over the apartment,” her sweet mousy voice took the sting out of the embarrassment for me.

“Um, I don’t live there. I just go over, and…” I could feel my cheeks reddening as both Gretchen and Deck stared at me while I fumbled through my response. Finally, Gretchen clued in, and her hands flew to her mouth as her eyes widened in shock. Then she grabbed hold of my arm and yanked me back to the employee lounge area.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry!” She shrieked at me. “I didn’t mean to put you guys on the spot, I thought…” She bit into her bottom lip nervously. “I just thought you guys already had that discussion, and that he’d asked you to move in since you were always there.”

“No, we haven’t had that conversation,” I explained to her, still trying to cool my reddening face down by fanning it with my hands.

“That’s not entirely correct,” Deck’s voice behind me caught my attention. “I told Ever that my house was her house the first time I brought her over there, but I don’t think she understood then. So, let me clarify for the both of you. I do intend for Ever to continue staying in our house. If she agrees to that, then I don’t see why the apartment upstairs won’t be free for you.” He didn’t stick around to hear what I had to say to that. Instead, Deck turned and left. He didn’t just leave the room. He left the entire studio.

“I’m so sorry, Ever!” Gretchen whined to me again. “I didn’t mean to make things awkward.”

“It’s okay. At least this way, we know where we stand right?”

“Well, we know where Deck stands, but you didn’t exactly say anything when he extended the invitation. Are you going to move in with him?”

It was my turn to go bug-eyed, because while I had been staying over there, it was entirely different to think about moving in and living with someone. What if everything went wrong, and I had to leave behind the love of my life and my dream home? Life was hard. Sometimes, I wondered if I was really ready to adult on my own. Instead of continuing on with all the self-doubt, I turned to Gretchen and smiled brightly. “I don’t know how to not be with him,” I admitted.

She bounced up and down on her toes while shaking her arms in the air in some weird little bubbly dance. “That means you’re moving in!”

“I guess it does.”

“Ever, aren’t you supposed to be doing that thing this afternoon?” Kane asked as he walked in the lounge giving Gretchen an odd look. He was probably wondering about her pseudo-dance moves like I had been.

“Shit!” His question finally sunk in, and I realized I was due to be at the clubhouse in about 45 minutes.

Kane laughed. “I guess it was a good thing Deck sent me back here to remind you.”

“Did he leave?” I asked the question knowing he had, but wondering why he wouldn’t want to show up with me.

“He did. He said he wanted to make sure,” he tossed some air quotes up. “And I quote, ‘that those morons don’t fuck anything up before she gets there,’” he explained, making me smile.

“Okay, well I better go get ready. Gretchen, I’ll let you know when I get all my stuff out.”

“Thanks, Ever, you’re a life saver.”

“Sure thing, Gretchen.” With that I went upstairs to get changed into a top that would make it easier for me to display the tattoo I had on my back. The top was a silver piece that tied around my neck and draped pretty provocatively in the front, showing more cleavage than I’d normally be comfortable displaying in front of my family and the men of the club. It was, however, the only shirt I had been able to find that was also completely backless, having just a thin strip of material down at my waist that wrapped all the way around holding it to me. Once I had that on I was running a little behind so I just grabbed my cardigan to toss overtop my shirt so as not to ruin the surprise reveal of my own tattoo.

When I got to the clubhouse I nervously sat in my car a few extra minutes just trying to catch my breath, and burn off some of the anxiety that was beginning to cripple me. Apparently, I sat there too long though, because before I could actually get my breathing back under control the door to Zeke’s car – which I had borrowed – was being pulled open and Deck stood there with his hand held out for me to grasp on to. “Ever whose car is this?”

“It’s Zeke’s. It was either use his or call an Uber and wait for them to show up.”

“I thought you had a car of your own?”

“Nope. They let me borrow Lucy’s old one before I moved out,” I shrugged off the somewhat angry look on Deck’s face then, and plastered on a fake smile. “We should go in before I change my mind and head back to the studio.”

I locked Zeke’s car up, pocketed the keys, and started toward the door with Deck’s hand wrapped around my own. Once we moved inside the easy banter I’d heard as the door opened dimmed to a hush, with barely a whisper being heard. “Wow, I guess that’s some kind of a reception. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea,” I whispered in Deck’s ear. He squeezed me reassuringly, and ignored my idea to leave, instead leading us deeper into the building until we were standing in front of the little makeshift stage that housed a stripper pole for the club whores to work their magic on if the mood struck.

There was a microphone that I hadn’t noticed right away in front of the pole. Deck walked me over to it. He glanced out at the crowd, never releasing his hold on my hand. “I’m going to issue one warning to all of you. This is my old lady, and if you disrespect her at all during this process, you will deal with me first, and then you will lose a brother, and any chance for redemption. I know the brothers are aware of this, but if you don’t have your families under control, I will count that against you as well. Make sure we’re all clear on this.” I saw a woman back towards the bar scoff, and even heard her as she began to laugh at Deck’s warning. It didn’t take two seconds before several brothers were breathing down her neck and escorting her out.

“Anyone else need to be ejected before we begin, or can the rest of you all behave?” Deck glanced around once more before he grumped, “I don’t know why club whores are here anyway. The rest of y’all get the hell out. This isn’t for you or about you.”

The women, who were all seated toward the back of the room near the bar were outraged. “What the hell makes her more important than us?” One of them had the nerve to call out.

“She’s the VP’s daughter,” Deck answered through clenched teeth.

“Like that matters,” the woman huffed. “No one cares about that girl,” she spat out. “We all know it too. I can’t tell you how many of these guys have come to my bed complaining about that bitch when she’s deemed them worthy of one of her visits.”

Normally, I wouldn’t care about a club whore’s words, but that one hit home, because I was pretty sure she wasn’t lying about that. I started to take a step back, but Deck held me firmly in place.

“Get. The. Fuck. Out,” Deck ordered. “And you aren’t welcome back here for any reason,” he said pointing at the woman who had spoken up.

“Why, because I’m the only one who will tell the truth?”

“No, because you’re the only one too stupid to shut your fuckin’ mouth. We’re all here because we already know the truth, and since you don’t know the half of it that makes you even more of a dumb cunt.” Normally, I wasn’t a fan of the “C” word, but I would definitely be making an exception to Deck’s use of it this time.

Once the women were escorted out Deck turned back to the microphone. “Ever has a specific order she’s planning on unveiling these tattoos, so stand by until she calls you up.”

With that announcement he turned, putting his back to the waiting club members while looking down at me. “You okay to do this?” I nodded my head. “I’ll be here with you the whole time, I promise.” Again, I tipped my head up and down in a quick nod of acknowledgment before I moved myself in front of the microphone that had been set up.

“First up is Crow, because he was the first to label me ‘the other princess,’ and mean it in a derogatory way. I was eight years old when that happened, and in a new home, because I had just gone through having my mom die in my arms. My father had told me I had more family to meet, and I got excited, because my mom was all I had before, and I thought the rest of my father’s family would be like my brother.” I glanced around the room and found Toby. “He told me he was going to protect me from day one,” I smiled at him. “He kept that promise for a really long time too,” I added and watched as his face fell at the implication that he hadn’t kept it forever as he once vowed.

“The first person I met when I walked through those doors was Crow, who sneered at me and called me ‘the other princess’ and even though I was only eight, I knew hostility when I encountered it. I remembered the other guys looking at Crow curiously, and then they took some kind of cue from him, because after that no one even spoke to me that day. No one said hello or introduced themselves or their children to me. I never wanted to cry so much in my whole life as I did that day knowing that my father’s family hated me on sight. For the longest time, I thought maybe I was so ugly they couldn’t love me.” A shocked gasp erupted from the crowd and I saw Deck’s mom, Tiger Lily, wiping a tear from her eye. “Anyway, since Crow was the one who started that, I figured he should go first.” Crow slowly walked up to the stage and came to stand before me. I could see the remorse in his eyes as he realized what his actions had meant to the little girl I had been. He was the reason I questioned my outward appearance for so long. When I went to bed at night thinking I was ugly and unworthy, he was the main reason for it.

Crow took off his leather kutte and handed it to Deck who held it reverently before him as we all watched the man peel off the long sleeve shirt that had been hiding the tattoo I’d given him. Once the shirt was out of the way he turned so that the prospect in charge of filming this could get a good look at it with the camera. The camera was used to project the image up onto a larger screen so everyone could take in the detail. There was a collective intake of breath upon seeing the image he had inked from elbow to wrist. At the bottom of the tattoo, near his wrist, the tip of feather turned into vines that strangled an Ace of Hearts playing card that had been buried in the ground with a dead baby crow. From the tip of the feather crawling up his forearm was a large, singular crow’s feather the fine black pieces had a slight sheen of blue in the black giving it an almost metallic look. At the top of the feather, closer to the crook of Crow’s elbow, the feather split apart and became two crows, one smaller than the other. They were flying free into the sky.

“It wasn’t until some years later, around the time I turned 15 that I overheard someone talking about Crow’s ex and the baby girl he had lost because of her negligence. After hearing that I began to understand why he had hated me so much on sight. You see he thought of my mom as nothing better than his ex, and for some reason in his mind my mother’s sins were transferred to me, even though I knew nothing of what she’d done before I moved here. I didn’t even know I had a father until the social worker told me. I was just as much a victim of the things my mom did as everyone else involved, but I became her whipping boy for Crow, and others.”

The man shifted uncomfortably as he listened to what I had to say. He hadn’t bothered to even glance down at the ink on his arm yet. I nodded to him. “Look at it,” I commanded. He bristled a moment, and then he looked, and I saw the tears well in his eyes instantly as he realized what the tiny little dead crow represented. “In case you can’t figure it out,” I began explaining. “The feather is you. The birds at the top are your old lady and your son. The roots are where our problem began, long before you knew me, when your woman betrayed you and your baby girl died as a result. You let those roots fester though, and you became the reason another child was lost to this club.” He flinched back as if I had physically slapped him.

“You’re still here,” he muttered to me.

“Physically, I’m here today,” I agreed. “When my father brought me here to introduce his daughter to the club, you made a stand – for your own reasons – that the rest of the club followed, including my own father to an extent. Instead of being welcomed and treated as all the other club children were I was shunned, pushed aside, ignored, and flat out tormented by you, the brothers, and their families. Your actions made it so that I would never be accepted despite the fact that I didn’t deserve to ever be treated that way. Your actions led directly to the damage that was done when everything went down with J-Bird’s girlfriend lying about me. If it hadn’t been for the precedent you set in how I was to be treated, things may have turned out very differently then. I almost took my own life when it became too much to handle anymore, but your actions took my soul long before that.” Tears dripped freely from Crow’s face as I finished my explanation. “You ended up just as guilty as the woman you hated, and now you wear that mark as a reminder that no one is perfect, and therefore you should never be another’s judge.”

If it weren’t for the smattering of sniffles in our audience – which I had managed to block out for the most part – I think you would have been able to hear a pin drop in the place. Crow traced his fingers down the ink on his arm before glancing back up into my eyes. “Ever,” he whispered my name, and then shook his head. “I don’t deserve your forgiveness, so I won’t even ask for it now.”

“I didn’t deserve your treatment either, so we’re going to meet in the middle, and I’m going to give you the forgiveness you can’t ask for anyway. I don’t think you understood, yourself, what you were doing or why. Maybe now, though, you’ll think before you allow your actions to take another soul unwarranted.” Crow hung his head as he took his kutte back from Deck, and walked down off the raised area of the stage. Deck moved in closer to me and gave my shoulder a squeeze.

“You okay to do the rest?”

I nodded my head, and he backed up a few paces again as he had before I’d called Crow up.

“Next up is PeeWee,” I called out and waited as the man bellied his way up to the stage. He was a stout guy with a beer belly he was proud of and shoulder length thinning hair that was looking more gray than brown these days. As he moved in closer with trepidation highlighting his features I took a breath and let it out again.

“PeeWee took special pleasure in taunting me with ‘the other princess’ moniker. He delighted in it, and it always unnerved me to be around him, because I didn’t understand why he would take pleasure in tormenting a little girl, or a teenage girl as I grew and his heckling just became more cruel. It was especially vindictive and beyond crude when no one else was around to hear the things he would say to me.” That admission brought Deck in closer to my side, and I noticed his fists were clenched tightly at his sides so I slid my hand down over his and gave him a reassuring squeeze this time. PeeWee’s tattoo was on his left shoulder blade. When he took his shirt off I had him turn around so the camera could zoom in on the detail and PeeWee watched on the screen that was in front of him while standing with his back to the crowd as the lifting of his shirt unveiled the ink there.

A man stood proudly with his back to the people viewing the tattoo as he looked out over a field of flowers. When the camera panned in everyone could tell the flowers were actually Aces of Hearts playing cards growing in a field. Then the camera panned down to take in the man, his kutte that was an exact replica of an Aces High MC kutte with the bottom rocker of Charleston on it too. As the camera panned down people noticed what the man was doing with his foot. He was stomping on a weed that attempted to grow through the crack in the sidewalk beneath his feet. The weed was an Aces of Spades card, and had been trampled to a point where it was ripped in places, torn from the stem it had grown from, and had a boot print clearly visible on its scuffed surface.

“I don’t think this one needs a whole lot of explanation, especially since I still don’t understand why I was always such an easy and desirable target for you,” I stated to PeeWee directly.

He shook off whatever he’d been about to say, and instead he turned to look me in the eye. “Your mother was married to my brother by blood. She knew about that party because of me. She came here and seduced your father who was heartbroken and drunk off his gourd, all because she was pissed that my brother wouldn’t knock her up. He couldn’t do so even if he had thought it was a wise idea at their ages. My brother was a full 15 years older than me. They were too old to start having children. She came here to trap a man into putting a baby in her belly, and she succeeded. You are the product of an adulterous whore who used men like they were her personal play toys. I had no doubt you’d grow to be just like her.” He spat those words at me, apparently still holding me in that same regard despite the fact that we were supposed to be here as a way to heal and change.

I nodded my head, finally understanding why he’d hated me so much. “You forgot the other part though,” I explained to him.

“What other part?”

“The part where I also belonged to my father, your club brother whom you have great respect for. The man who has loved my Momma-Luce with nothing but devotion since they figured out they couldn’t be without one another. I’m the product of your brother – a man you trust with your life – but you condemned me solely on the half of me that I’d already lost, instead of helping to insure I ended up like the half of me I had found.” I hung my head momentarily, wondering if things would have gone any differently if someone had pointed these things out to the men of the club who were supposed to be the grown adults even back then.

“Maybe, your tattoo can be a reminder that not all weeds are bad just because they’re a little different. Sometimes, if given the chance, they can outgrow the cracks they spring from to become the bloom that brightens that space.” Having been properly chastised for his actions, and called out for not realizing there were two sides to every person, PeeWee slunk off the stage to go sit at the bar. No doubt, he’d be adding plenty of beer to that belly of his tonight.

Once he was gone Deck pulled me into a hug and whispered into my ear, “I want to know the things he said to you when no one was around to hear them.” I shook my head then looked up into the eyes of the man I absolutely loved and adored.

“No, this night is about finishing this, and letting it all go. We’ll not drag it up again once they leave this stage.” He didn’t seemed convinced by my words, and I just had to hope that he would honor what I wanted in this case and leave it be. I had no doubt if Deck, my father, or brother knew what PeeWee had said to me over the years the man probably wouldn’t walk away from the confrontation, or possibly not be able to walk at all ever again.

“Are you sure you want to keep going?” He finally asked as he glanced around the room at all the people who were enraptured with the display we were making up here.

“I’m sure,” I told him quietly, and once again he backed off. I glanced out into the crowd looking for the person I planned to call up next. I didn’t see him right away, but then I noticed his wife had moved and she was standing in the corner being comforted by the man in question. “Next up is your President, Merc,” I stated quickly before I could change my mind and direction. I couldn’t shelter his wife from the hurt this was causing her. She had already known most of it anyway, and felt much like Lucy over the years, that she couldn’t change their minds for them.

Merc walked his wife back over to the chair she had vacated earlier, the one sitting right beside Momma-Luce, and once she was comfortably back in her spot he hopped up on the stage with the grace and physical command of a much younger man. He came straight to me, tipped his head at his son, and then turned to face the members of his club. “Before Ever starts in on me, I want this club to know that I already understand how badly I’ve failed her. I saw what was happening early on, and I turned a blind eye. At first, I thought it wasn’t my place, and it was something Double-D needed to work out with the men since it was his kid. I forgot we’re a family though, and I was leading this family for most of it. I was certainly leading this family when my own son caused undo drama for Ever, and I did nothing to help her, support her, or derail the teenage drama that should have never touched the insides of this club to begin with. I take full responsibility for that, because as leader, I should have nipped this shit in the bud long ago, and there is no good reason why I didn’t. It just all seemed beneath my position. Through watching Ever persevere and seeing how strong she has had to be I’ve come to realize that nothing is beneath my position. She was just as much my responsibility, because she didn’t just belong to the Brothers family. She belonged to this club. We all failed her, and that is why we’re here tonight. In part to make amends for our wrong doing, but also to learn and heal so we don’t repeat our mistakes in the future.” He looked back at me and added, “No one affiliated with this club is beyond its reach.” He stepped back then and tipped his head to me indicating it was my turn to speak now.

“Merc already has the gist of his tattoo. He is a fierce protector, but only of what he thinks of as his to protect.” Merc’s shoulders slumped as I mentioned this and he moved to take his shirt off so that everyone could see what I had inked on his skin. Once his shirt was off the image was clear to see hovering over his chest on his upper right pec. The camera zoomed in and the image cleared up on the screen behind us. I choose the metaphor for this one, because Merc was a known fisherman. If that man got away from the club it was to a body of water with a fishing pole in his hands, so I thought it would ease the blow of his message a bit to hand him an image he could relate to.

A prominent boulder stood proud, mid-stream, forcing the water to run around it forming an almost tranquil, still pond just in front. “Merc, you’re the boulder, making life easier for the fish in your pond,” I told him with a wink that got a few chuckles from the people in the crowd who might think he was usually the one making everyone’s life harder. Loads of little fish swam in the pond. Three stayed closest to the boulder and upon closer inspection they bore the Ace of Hearts insignia in their scales. The others in the pond bore the Ace of Diamonds, and were still content and protected, even though they swam a little further out. I pointed all this out, and everyone could tell I meant the hearts to be his wife and children while the diamonds were his club brothers.

“There’s a chink in the boulder though, a weak spot, and it lets in this rush of water over here.” Once I drew attention to it the prospect in charge of the camera made certain to zoom in there. Then he was able to pick up the steady current pushing one unfortunate fish away from all the others. That fish was marked with an Ace of Spades. It was struggling, trying to swim upstream back to the other fish, but clearly unable to get there. She didn’t fall under the blanket of his protection, and so she was swept away, and removed from the others. “I don’t think I need to explain what this signifies since Merc basically did that before he revealed the tattoo,” I stated, and while at first I thought it meant he cheated and already took a peek, watching him take in the details of his tattoo made me rethink that.

Merc was shaking when he walked away, and went to go sit in the chair his wife occupied. I watched as he went down and scooped her up, depositing her back on his lap once he sat down. He tucked his head into her neck and I watched as his shoulders shook behind her. Then I looked away and before Deck could come offer me an out once more I called Jay up. Might as well finish up with this family while they were in the midst of dealing with one member being shamed for his apathy.

Jay took off his kutte, and as Crow had done before him, he entrusted it to Deck while he removed his long sleeve shirt and pushed his arm forward so the camera could pick up what was inked there. Jay’s was the simplest tattoo I had done, which I knew had confused him when it took the shortest amount of time to ink. It was a simple Aces of Hearts playing card and in the middle of it there was script that read:

Forgiveness is divine as it’s born of another’s sorrow.

Look beneath the surface to heal everyone’s tomorrow.

Jay appeared puzzled by his tattoo, but this one was different. This one was done purposely so that when he figured it out he would live a better life. His surface dwelling had caused me the most heartache. If he’d only looked past the skin deep level and ever understood anything about me, he would have known the truth behind the allegations. Until he was willing to stop being a shallow bastard he was doomed to keep needing forgiveness, and never having a present moment without needing to heal it.

He glanced over at me, question in his eyes, and I just shook my head. “I don’t really need to say anything, because everyone here knows what happened. When you figure out the tattoo, maybe things won’t continue to be so mucked up for you all the time.” With that I turned and glanced out in the crowd looking for whom I was going to call up next.

“That’s it?” Jay asked. I nodded and watched as he glanced at his brother who only shrugged at him.

“She wants you to figure it out on your own, brother,” Deck informed as J-Bird moved to get off the stage looking even more forlorn than when he’d climbed up here with me. I wished I could give him more peace of mind, but it wasn’t for me to replace what he’d freely given away.

“Toby,” I called, ignoring the proper etiquette of calling him by his road name while in the clubhouse. He would understand why I did it that way, even if everyone else thought me disrespectful. When he hopped up on stage he didn’t hesitate, and pulled me into a hug, squeezing me tightly, and whispering into my ear. “I love you, always have.”

“I know,” I whispered back. Toby let me go and handed over his kutte to Deck as the others before him had done. Then he whipped his shirt off and flung it out into the audience where one of the guys snatched it out of the air and whirled it around like a cowboy with a lasso, effectively giving everyone a solid laugh and breaking the too-thick tension in the room temporarily. Even I had to laugh at the antics of these guys sometimes.

Once his shirt was off, Toby spun around and showed his back off for the camera. There, was one of the saddest images I had rendered on skin thus far. I supposed it felt that way, because I once hero-worshipped my older brother, and never thought he could hurt me the way he did. As the camera panned to his back a few gasps rang out, one was definitely from Momma-Luce.

In the middle of the image stood a boy with his back facing outward. He was wearing a red superhero cape while observing the road ahead. One path looked dark and dangerous with a sign showing 3 balloons were necessary to travel it. The other looked sunny and safe, but only two balloons were on its sign. The little boy was holding three balloons that were shaped like Aces of Hearts cards in one hand. One of the three balloons had been popped and in the other hand there was a shiny silver pin. He sacrificed the one balloon in order to take the easier path with the others.

Toby was watching as the tattoo was revealed and the camera zoomed in different details on. I saw his shoulders begin to shake as he realized what the balloons stood for – or rather whom they stood for – and how I really felt about his part in everything. I was the sacrifice for an easier way in life for him even though he was supposed to be my hero. He turned to me with tears filling his eyes as his shoulders continued to shake from the effort he was using to keep those tears from rolling down his face.

“Ever,” his husky voice, thick with emotion, broke on my name. “I’m so ashamed,” he stated, and then he walked away with his head down, unable to hold back the tears any longer. I had to swipe away my own tears as I watched him move to the back of the room where he faced the wall in an attempt to get himself back under control without everyone having to see. My father was there, his arm wrapped around my brother’s shoulder, offering comfort and glancing back worriedly at the stage, because now he knew the kind of pain that I’d etched on his skin too. It was going to hurt more than he’d been envisioning.

I gave them a moment as Deck brought me some tissue and a drink. He had taken Toby’s kutte down to Momma-Luce since he’d walked away without it when he left the stage. People were speaking in hushed whispers from their seats below us, and I couldn’t look out at any of them, because I just knew they were blaming me for the torment they saw me putting their brothers through. Hell, I was blaming me. I never wanted to hurt another person the way they’d hurt me. I just wanted them to see the reminder of what they’d done so they would be careful with the hearts of others in the future.

Before long, my father joined us up on the stage. He hadn’t needed to wait for me to call him since he was the last of the six that were inked. When he got up there he wasted no time taking his kutte off, but instead of handing it to Deck, he turned to place it in my hands. I just stared at it a moment before he spoke.

“Not that I don’t trust my brother, but I think it’s necessary for you to know that I trust you too, baby girl. I would prefer you be the one to handle my kutte.” I took the leather vest reverently into my hands. It was probably the only time since I had come to live with him that I’d touched it for longer than a it took to brush against it before he moved away from me. Once I had his kutte held safely in my arms my father removed his shirt too, and turned his back to the crowd quickly so that the camera could focus in on his tattoo and reveal what I had inked there. His movements were quick and jerky, and normally I’d think he was just trying to rush the process, but I could see his hands shaking, so I knew he was just nervous and needed to get it done.

I watched my father’s face, visible to me only in profile, as he took in the image that had been inked on his back. He didn’t need an explanation. I didn’t think he would. It was pretty self-explanatory. Unlike my brother, he didn’t attempt to hold back at all. He let go of his emotion and stood there while waiting for me to say something. There wasn’t really anything to say. He was the only one that mattered, and he got it.

The image on his back was of a giant Acacia Tree off in the distance. A proud lion and his mate were walking side by side headed toward the tree of life. On either side of them was a cub, one clearly male and the other a female. They all looked forward toward that tree with their backs proudly displayed to the person viewing the ink. In the foreground, closer than all the rest was a lone cub looking sad and dejected nursing a wound. The wound looked like the heart from the deck of cards that had been featured in all the tattoos, and it was placed in the center of the cub’s chest. The red ink only filled up about a quarter of the heart as the rest had dripped out onto the ground at the cub’s paws. She was forgotten there as the family carried on with their lives.

A female voice gasped out, “Ever!” I turned to see Anna standing there with tears dripping down her face. She glanced around and looked completely stricken, as the faces around her seemed to convey pity. Whether it was pity for me, and how I felt my family saw and treated me, or for my sister having been so clueless I didn’t know. Either way, it caused Anna to run from the room. Lucy stood, looking torn about which daughter needed her the most. I nodded to her to follow Anna, and she did. My father came over and swooped me up into a crushing hug.

“You should have never had to bleed out because of me. This should have never happened. I’m so goddamn sorry, Ever. I’m so sorry.” He kept repeating how sorry he was as the people who had been there to bare witness to this event began to stand, thinking everything was done.

“Wait,” I called out loudly. “There’s one more before we’re finished here.” I saw the puzzled looks, because everyone knew I had only inked six of the brothers. I eased my dad back from me, and handed him his kutte before I removed my cardigan and passed it to Deck. As I turned around and showed the room my back I heard the gasps, and a couple cries of “oh my God,” ring out through the room. My tattoo was probably the most in your face of them all, as it should be, because it was my pain etched on my body for everyone to see. I had honestly thought about not doing any of the other six tattoos, and instead just let them just see mine, but then I figured it would be easier to overlook the message if they didn’t have to witness it on their own skin.

Across my upper back were the six men who I had tattooed. They all had their backs to the viewer and their kuttes were clearly visible, marking them as Aces High MC members. If people looked closely at the tattoo, they could pick out each individual member of the club who had just showed off their own tattoos. In the foreground, on my lower back was a little girl standing in a puddle that rippled out beyond her, ending at the booted feet of the men standing there. In the furthest ripple of water the words, ‘the other princess’ were written as if they had been a part of the water itself. The little girl’s face was in profile, showing that she was crying, and her tears had been the source of the puddle she was standing in. On the chest of her shirt that only showed in the reflection of the tear puddle was an Ace of Hearts playing card, but the hearts were melting off of it with the tears that drip down from the girl’s face.

“I don’t think I need to explain this one either,” I stated quietly. The room was so still that I almost could have sworn they could all hear my heart hammering away at my chest. Lucy ran up on the stage and pulled me into her arms. I wondered briefly where my sister had gone until I saw her standing at the back of the room with my brother’s arms wrapped around her. It was good that he was caring for her since Lucy had chosen to come hug me.

“Baby girl, what did I let them do to you?” She murmured in my ear and pulled me even tighter to her body until Deck moved in, taking his kutte off, and pulling his shirt over his head. Then he gently slid Lucy away from me so that he could cover me up with his shirt. Instead of sliding his kutte back on his body, like I thought he would, he handed it to me. Lucy stepped back, realizing this was a moment she shouldn’t be in the middle of. Deck just looked down at me as he held his kutte out.

“What are you doing?” I finally asked.

“I’m giving you the choice. You can take it, toss it aside, and I’ll be done here.” He paused, looking around the room full of people who had been his family since birth. “You can do that, and I will walk out the door with you, because you are the most important thing in my life.” I waited a moment for him to continue with the ‘or’ part of his speech. When he didn’t, I had to ask.

“Is there another option?” My fingers were twisted into the thick leather of his kutte that had been warmed by his body. The scent of leather and the sea wafted up to me as I pulled it closer to my body, to my heart. Deck nodded his head, and I knew what the other choice was. I thought of Zeke in that moment. I remembered the story of his mother, and how her inability to move forward cost her everything. It cost her family everything too. I glanced around at everyone in the clubhouse, many of whom where watching this scene play out. I saw no judgment in their eyes, for once. They would stand by whatever decision I made here tonight.

These were the people I had wanted to love me. These were the people who I was constantly trying to be a better person for. I knew we had a long way to go before I could trust them, but they already had my heart. I’d only been waiting for them to want me to have theirs in return. They had Deck, and it was obvious they all loved him. Maybe this time would be different, because he’d been there for me, making sure his club did right by me. That was what had been missing before. I didn’t have a club member in my corner telling them to act right, telling them I deserved respect. Now I did, and I could already see the change in the saddened faces around me. They finally understood. I finally had someone there to help make them understand. Deck had his family here, doing this because of their love for him. I couldn’t take that away from him. I couldn’t lose him either. So, I did what I had to do, and I held his kutte out toward him so that he could slip his arms back into the holes. So that he could put his family at his back where they belonged.

“Are you sure?” His words were spoken softly so they didn’t carry beyond the two of us. I just stepped closer to him, so that his kutte was touching his arms, and inviting him to wear it once more. “I’ll love you no matter what, Ever,” he stated while still not accepting the kutte back from me.

“You’ll love me better with them at your back,” I explained, and his arms wrapped around me then, pulling me into his body with his kutte sandwiched between us. He leaned in and whispered in my ear. “You are the most amazing person I’ve met in my life. I am proud to call you mine, and I am so fucking in love with you it hurts.” I smiled into his chest before planting a kiss right there over his heart.

“Put this on before we’re mobbed and tossed out,” I teased, shoving the kutte into his bare stomach with a little more force than necessary. I admit, I was just feeling up his abs, but no one could really blame me. They were sculpted perfection, and I needed something solid to ground me to this moment before I floated away. Deck took the kutte from my hands and slid it gracefully back on his body to a round of gleeful shouts and cheers from the crowd.

It hadn’t occurred to me to wonder why Deck had given me the shirt off his back until I noticed my father was clinging to the cardigan I’d been wearing, and using it to wipe the tears from his face. Deck put his hand in mine, walked us over to the bar, and ordered us both a shot. It wouldn’t matter tonight that I was underage. No one was going to dispute the fact that I had earned the shot I was about to take. I’d earned it in distrust, disloyalty, and abandonment by nearly every single person in the room. I’d always known it, but now they realized exactly what they had done too, and most of them weren’t too sure where to start with trying to repair the damage they’d done.

They didn’t realize that the healing had already started, and I didn’t really need them to say or do anything. My healing had started with the little girl’s tears that dripped down my back.