The sensation of being watched never went away. A month had passed since it first started, and I should have been used to the feeling of featherlight caresses on my neck and hands, as often as it happened.

Every single time I would look around the property, inspect every room of the house, and double-check the security system, but I was always alone. It should have creeped me out or scared me—that would have been the reasonable reaction to what was going on—but it never did.

I hadn’t mentioned it to Dan, because what was I going to say? “Hey, honey, it feels like someone is watching me or stalking me, even though I don’t know anyone here, and our closest neighbor is at least a mile away, and it makes no logical sense.”

I decided at least that could be a safe topic to broach with Dan. One that wouldn’t make me seem so crazy. The last thing I wanted was for Dan to start worrying about me while he was in the midst of what could be the most important project of his life.

Nearly two months here on the island and three weeks into the new job, and Dan was already working crazy hours. He often wasn’t home before midnight and was gone most mornings before the sun had fully risen.

Toward the end of the week, he had finally made it home in time for dinner, so I decided to broach the topic. I just wasn’t sure how to insert it into our conversation.

Did I just throw it out there? Get it on the table and out of the way? I nibbled on my nail, considering the best way to do this without looking like I had lost my mind. Because really, it felt like I was losing my mind.

“Hello? Hello? Anybody in there?” Dan waved his hands in front of my face.

I shook my head to regain focus and looked up at him. “Huh?”

He laughed, shaking his head at me. “You were on another planet, babe. I must have asked you the same question a few times. You were staring off into space. You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, everything’s fine. I was just thinking about stuff and guess I got a little caught up in my thoughts. Sorry. What were you asking?”

“I was asking how your day was. I know I’ve been working crazy hours and we haven’t been able to talk, let alone spend any time together.”

“Things are okay. I haven’t explored as much as I would like yet, but now that we have a pretty good idea of what your schedule’s like, I will.”

“Sounds like a good plan. I know you’re not used to being cooped up in the house.”

“I’m not, but the little break was nice. And yeah, I’m not crazy about all the hours you’ve been working, but it’s nice not having to go to bed alone every night,” I said before taking a bite of my food.

I leaned my head to the side, my thoughts returning to what I wanted to ask him. I decided to just go for it. He already knew my style of crazy, why not add a little more to the mix?

After another couple bites, I launched into it. “So, this may sound kinda funny, but do you ever get the feeling you’re being watched?”

“Yep. Every single morning.” He tried to hide the smirk but failed miserably.

“Ugh, you’re the worst! You know exactly what I mean. I know you haven’t spent much time in the house, but when you’re alone, do you ever get the feeling like you aren’t alone?”

He sat for a minute, chewing his food and considering my question. He swallowed and took a drink of his water.

“No. But like you said, I haven’t been here much. Maybe it’s an animal? Or maybe it’s just living in a new place and the fact this house is a little more isolated than you’re used to? I don’t know, babe. But I haven’t felt it.”

“Yeah, maybe. Have you ever suddenly smelled something? Like a sudden strong smell of sandalwood and tobacco?”

“No, are you sure it’s not my shower wash?”

“No, this doesn’t smell like you. This is a very distinct scent. I smell it when I get that feeling someone might be nearby or watching me.” I whispered the last thing, moving the remaining food around my plate with the fork before looking up at him.

“Are you trying to tell me you think there is a ghost or something living in this house? A great-smelling, male ghost, perhaps?” he asked, no longer able to contain his laughter.

“Of course not! I was mostly just trying to pinpoint where the scent was coming from. If I could, I would bottle it and make a fortune. I dunno, I’m probably just not used to the scent of nature.”

Even I could tell I was trying to convince myself more than him. We continued to eat in silence, me trying to figure out a way to change the subject and forget about this entire conversation. Dan looked like he was spacing out a little, so I had no idea what was going on in his head at all.

“So how’s work going?” I asked awkwardly, leaning back in my chair and rubbing my hands over my full stomach.

“It’s going well. The first month is usually just the planning phase anyway, identifying what we need to accomplish, figuring out a timeline, planning ways to accomplish everything necessary in the time allotted.”

“Hmmm.” Dan knew this was code to continue.

“A lot of team-building happens early on too, making sure we’re all on the same page and working well together.” He leaned back in his chair, rubbing the muscles at the nape of his neck absently.

“So, what’s this project all about? Have you met the owner of the company yet?”

I knew he wouldn’t be able to tell me much because of the highly confidential nature of it. His job title on his business card was a very vague “IT consultant.” Yep, that was it.

He grinned at me before responding. And while I could see the humor in his eyes at my question, I could also see them start to shutter, closing down the way they did any time I asked for more details about his work. “There’s not much I can say, babe, as much as I would love to. I’ve only met the owner of the company once. My new boss is Liam Maris.”

“Wait, you’re working for MarisCorp? Seriously?” I nearly jumped out of my seat at the mention of the mysterious billionaire.

“Yeah, I was just as shocked. Sorry I didn’t mention it sooner.”

“So, what’s Maris like?”

“I don’t really know. He’s extremely reclusive and I’ve only met him twice.”

“That’s it? That’s all you’ve got for me?”

“He owns an island nearby and he boats or choppers to and from the small facility here when necessary. Most work outside of administrative tasks happens at a facility on his island, so there is a pretty good chance I will spend most of my time working there.”

I knew I wasn’t going to get anything else out of him, so I changed my line of questioning. “You haven’t talked about your team much. Tell me about them.”

“There’s only four of us. There’s two other guys, Ben and Rashad, and one woman, Kelly. So far, they seem nice, and more importantly, very smart and hard-working. I have a good feeling about this, Ros.”

“I’m excited for you, Dan. And really proud of you.”

His answering smile warmed me from the inside. “Thanks, babe.”

He grabbed both of our plates off the table and walked to the kitchen. I stood up and walked over to the island, leaning over and resting on my crossed forearms, watching him as he rinsed our dishes and placed them in the dishwasher, so happy to just have him here with me.

“Hey, want to watch a movie?” He dried his hands off, a signal that he was done talking about work.

“Sure, what are you in the mood for? Wait, bedroom or living room?”

“It’s still pretty early, and I don’t want to go to bed just yet. How ’bout we watch in the living room? Let me just go get changed first.”

I walked into the living room, sat down, turned on the TV and got comfortable as I sifted through all of our saved movies on our Apple TV. Nothing looked remotely interesting, so I put the remote down and decided to let Dan choose. I knew what I would have chosen, and I was pretty sure he didn’t want to see one of my classics.

He came back a few minutes later in a gray t-shirt and loose gray lounge pants that hung on his hips in a seriously distracting way. He grabbed the remote off the table, slouched in the corner of the couch, getting comfortable, and opened his arms up for me to snuggle against him, wrapping his arms around me once we were settled.

“Did you find something for us that was filmed after 1970?” His laugh tickled my neck, sending a shiver down my spine. He continued to nuzzle into my neck, inhaling my scent as he waited for my response.

“Nope, it’s your turn.”

I barely suppressed my moan as he pressed featherlight kisses along my neck, my jawline, the corner of my mouth. This was quickly turning into something other than movie-watching.

I turned to face him fully, only to have him crash his lips into mine, at first hard and demanding, then slower and more seductive as I responded by gasping and turning my body flush against his. I could feel his growled response against my chest as he thrust his tongue into my mouth in a rhythm matching what I wanted him to do to my body.

The remote control crashed against the floor as it slipped out of his hand. I jumped up in surprise, which Dan took full advantage of by twisting us until he was sitting slightly slouched down. He pulled my thigh over his lap, so I was straddling him firmly.

His kisses alternated between passionate and harsh, and sweet and slow, leaving me breathless and gasping. Delicious pressure built between my thighs, desire and tension making me grind myself against him for relief. It didn’t make anything better, it never did. It only succeeded in making me burn hotter, want him more.

We continued at that maddening pace, not slowing down or stopping until our climaxes had crashed through us.

It was always like this. No matter the distance between us, the amount of time spent apart, we always came together without skipping a beat.

Frantic, desperate, familiar.

Even when all the other parts of us seemed to be tearing at the seams, this was always right. Maybe it was because things always felt both new and fleeting.

Until now, we never knew how much time we had together to enjoy each other, but it was never much. Our time together was always more famine than feast. My mind wandered, and I couldn’t help but think back to the night before we moved here.

We had just sat down to dinner, and I looked down into my food, avoiding eye contact until I could figure out what I wanted to say. I couldn’t ignore the tension anymore and I couldn’t pretend. How did I communicate that things were just not feeling right between us when communication was our biggest issue? Dan took it out of my hands.

“What’s up, babe?” he asked in a concern-laced voice.

“So,” I began and let the word hang for a minute. “I don’t know if it’s just me, but things have been feeling off between us lately.”

Dan’s smile faded, some of the light left his eyes, and it made me regret even bringing it up. My hands started to feel a little clammy as nervousness set in. This was so absurd. He was my husband, not some guy I had only been dating for a few months. The realization why hit me like a punch in the gut.

The disconnect, the unease all pointed to years of shitty communication, which we ignored and covered up with false intimacy and great sex. He was coming and going so much, our time together almost always felt a little like a honeymoon: reunion, elation, reacquaintance, the beginnings of getting comfortable together again, only to be halted by another separation.

I sighed and started again. “I hate to bring this up, but I just don’t want us going any further into this new start with any negative shit between us. You feel it too, right?”

He looked down a moment, and then looked back up. “Yeah, I’ve been feeling it the last couple weeks, but I didn’t want to bring it up and ruin anything,” he said.

“I’d gotten my hopes up so high and the reality of the situation began to creep in. We don’t know how much time we will actually get to be together and we don’t know how us living together will affect things. What if it doesn’t work?”

The minute the words left my mouth, I wanted to take it all back. I’d never pictured myself as an emotionally needy wife. I was used to being second place. It had always been fine because I knew Dan loved me. Lately, I couldn’t help but wonder if he would ever choose our marriage over work, if he would ever put us first. I knew there was nothing more I could say tonight without causing damage to us.

Dan grabbed my hand across the table and intertwined his fingers with mine.

“We don’t know what’s to come, and while it could be crazy and stressful, it could also be amazing. I never want to be the source of your unhappiness. I promise I will try to balance time at home with you and time spent on work as equally as possible.”

Tears welled up in my eyes and I tried to will them away. The first one slid down my cheek, then another, and another, before so many were falling, I couldn’t stop them. All the pent-up tension, worry, and emotion of the past few weeks just took over me, and I was a ball of emotions too out of control to handle.

Dan stood up and walked over to me, kneeling down beside my chair. I turned to him and he wrapped his arms around me, resting his chin on the top of my head. My arms gripped his waist, and before I knew it, I was crying again.

“Shhh, it’s okay, babe, I promise,” he said, rubbing my back. He lifted my chin up with his hand until my eyes met his. “I know things have been crazy recently, but everything is going to work out,” he said, looking me in the eyes, trying to be as reassuring as possible.

I rested my cheek against his chest, rubbed my face on the soft wool of his sweater and nodded. While I didn’t feel certain, he seemed sure enough for the both of us, and I realized it was going to have to be enough for me.

I knew not to get used to it. To not get my hopes up that we could build on this for the next six months or even year. I knew not to put full trust in what he had said that night or assume we could use our physical connection to help sew back together all the other parts of our relationship coming apart.

I knew not to, but God did I ever hope for it.