LAUREN

 

I woke to my phone vibrating. I searched the bed with my hand, not willing to open my eyes and let any light that may be lingering in my room into my head. I peered through my eyelashes at the screen.

“What?” I said once I found the answer and speaker buttons.

“You sound worse than me,” Peta said cheerfully.

“And you sound much too chirpy to have consumed the amount of alcohol that you did last night.”

“That’s because it all exited my body rather forcefully in the wee hours of this morning. First time I have ever called in sick. Poor Mark. He wasn’t impressed to be heading in on a Sunday morning.”

“That bad, huh?”

“Let’s not go there.”

I dragged myself up in the bed. “Did you end up having a good night, though?”

Peta hesitated on the other end of the line.

“What?” I asked.

“Let’s just say there were silk ties and handcuffs involved.”

I laughed loudly and immediately regretted it when the surge of pain bounced around my head. “So Shrek had a good night then.”

“He better bloody appreciate it.”

Peta was known to be far more adventurous in the bedroom after consuming a few drinks than she ever was normally, and Shrek wasn’t one to waste an opportunity.

“You get home okay?”

“I left not long after you.”

“So Casanova kept his hands to himself?”

“I wouldn’t say that, but he did find a more willing participant.”

I still felt a little sick when I thought of him dirty dancing with that girl. Still, I shouldn’t let it worry me. He was young and free, he could do what he pleased.

“The girls got home without being assaulted then?” Peta asked. I could hear her sipping on, what was no doubt, a strong coffee. The image of me bending low and taunting Gabe with my cleavage replayed in my mind.

I groaned. “Don’t ever let me do that again.”

One of the kids started to cry in the background. “Got to go, Ren. You okay to still go into work today?”

“Of course I am. A strong cup of coffee and I’ll be good to go.”

“Well, good luck dealing with Mark. No doubt he’s in one foul mood. Talk tomorrow.”

Thankfully, Gabe acted completely normal at work. He was his same chipper self, though he did insist on calling me buddy, or pal, or mate, every time we talked. I couldn’t help be a little disappointed. Sure, he still flirted, but he made damn certain I knew he wasn’t serious.

* * *

The following Sunday afternoon, I was mowing the lawns, headphones on, and singing at the top of my lungs, when the music stopped and my phone started ringing. It was a number I didn’t recognise and I considered ignoring it, but in the end, I turned off the mower and pressed accept.

“S’up, buddy?” Gabe’s voice said.

“How’d you get my number?”

“Peta gave it to me.” Oh, great. Now I was going to get more questions and warnings from Peta. “Hey listen, I know you’ve got today off, and since it’s such a glorious day, I was thinking of hitting the beach. You keen?”

“Um.” I wasn’t sure what to say.

“Look, before you protest, there is a group of us going, and I don’t think I could handle it if you not only shot me down but also rejected my friendship. It would be just plain rude. So I’m not even giving you the chance to say no. I’ll meet you at my place in twenty minutes. I’ll text you the address. Later, mate.” And then he hung up.

I stared down at my phone for a few moments, wondering what had just happened. It vibrated and a text message came through with his address. Immediately another popped through saying that they were going to a beach which was known for the most awesome sunsets and I should bring my camera.

I started to type a response, coming up with the excuse of wanting to weed the garden while the weather was nice. It sounded plausible if you didn’t know me all that well. I hated gardening. But I hadn’t finished typing when another text came through.

 

Gabe: Don’t even bother trying to think of an excuse. Friends hang. You said we were friends.

 

I looked down at my grass-stained hands, my worn t-shirt and old sweatpants cut into shorts and decided a shower and change was needed. Afterwards, I pulled on a more presentable shorts and t-shirt outfit and twisted my wet hair into a messy bun. If he thought I would be swimming, he would be wrong. There was no way I was getting into a bathing suit in front of him and even less of a chance I would be going deep into the salt water. I had an irrational fear of sharks and wouldn’t be swimming in the ocean for anyone. After I grabbed my camera gear and popped some stuff into my bag, I was already late, and I hated being late. But I needn’t have worried as Gabe was in the garage punching a boxing bag while Drew held onto the other side for dear life. He didn’t hear me arrive and I watched as his muscles flexed under his sweat-covered skin. Of course, he didn’t have a top on, and of course, he looked magnificent, but I did everything in my power to look unaffected. Down the left side of his body, there was tattooed black writing, but I couldn’t make out what it said. One thing was clear though. He spent a lot of time working out. The garage was filled with gym equipment and the half-finished body of some sort of old car.

“Oh hey, buddy,” Gabe said when he finally turned around and noticed me. “Got your swimmers?”

I shook my head and plonked my bag on the ground, crossing my arms. “It’s a glorious day, but the water would need to be near boiling point for me to get in. Hey Drew,” I added when he turned to greet me.

Gabe squinted into the sun and I kept my eyes on his face. “And here I was hoping I could give you a ride on my surfboard.” He smirked.

“I don’t do the ocean.”

“Perhaps I can change your mind.” He cocked his head to the side and wiped the back of his neck with a towel.

“Doubt it.”

Just then, another car pulled up and two girls stepped out. They were both wearing denim shorts with the pocket linings longer than the actual shorts and bikini tops. I could see the goose pimples on their skin from the cool breeze.

“What’s she doing here?” Drew whispered to Gabe. The colour drained from his face and he dropped his gaze to the ground.

“Elise, Haleigh.” Gabe nodded to them both then leaned over to me. “Elise is Stefan’s latest. Haleigh is Drew’s ex. Things may get a little awkward.”

“Oh, yay,” I said dryly. “Teenage drama.”

“They’re not teenagers,” Gabe said.

“They may as well be,” I replied.

Elise held up a large bag stuffed with towels and brightly coloured premixed cans of alcohol. “Stefan said we’re going to the beach.”

“We’re planning on it, yeah,” Drew replied.

“Mind if I tag along?” Haleigh asked, smiling coyly at Gabe. It was obvious what she was doing but Gabe seemed oblivious.

“Might pay to check with Drew,” he replied and started to walk toward the house.

“She’s with me, not him,” Elise called after him.

“You coming?” Gabe turned to me.

Both the girls looked at me for the first time. They shared a look of confusion and then walked inside. There was nothing left for me to do but follow.

“Take a seat,” Gabe said once we reached the lounge. “I’ll be out in a bit.”

Haleigh’s eyes trailed after him and I felt like slapping her. I really did need to stop having the urge to slap other girls, simply because they noticed someone I had no claim on. Drew sat on a chair, a horrified look on his face, simply staring at Haleigh as she very obviously checked out Gabe.

The house was a typical boys’ flat. Beer posters on the wall, a coffee table made purely out of empty beer cans, and the floor hadn’t been vacuumed for, what I guessed, was at least a month. The TV screen took up most of the wall and there were bean bags planted in front of it, spilling little white balls onto the floor every time someone flopped onto them. I counted at least four drying racks piled with clothing, and a stack of pizza boxes in the opposite corner.

“Sorry about the mess,” Drew said, looking around the room.

“Are you still coming to the beach?” I picked my way through the obstacle course of remotes, drying racks and bean bags to make my way to the couch.

Drew shook his head. “Not now.”

“Don’t let her ruin it for you, Drew,” I said quietly. “Don’t let her see you upset.”

“But did you see the way she looked at him? She made it rather obvious why she’s here, and it isn’t me.” He looked so forlorn sitting there. Placing his shaved head in his hands, he sighed deeply.

“Don’t let her walk all over you, come to the beach and have some fun. It will be the best thing you could do.”

“You think?” There was a little hope or anger, I’m not sure which, in his eyes.

“I know.”

Gabe appeared back in the room wearing only a towel wrapped around his waist, his hair wet and dripping water down his back. He grinned as he walked across the room and leaned over me to grab a t-shirt from the clothes rack. He was close enough to touch. Close enough to lick. His scent was intoxicating. I couldn’t keep my eyes off him and he knew it.

“You okay there, buddy?” he asked as he pulled on the t-shirt.

“Right as rain,” I replied as he walked out the door, trying not to look at the way his shirt clung to the dampness of his skin.

“So he still hasn’t won?” Drew asked.

“Won what?”

“Don’t tell me you hadn’t noticed his attempts at wooing you?”

“Wooing me?” I laughed.

“Stick to your guns. It’s nice to see that he doesn’t get the girl every time.”

I laughed again. “It’s not like that. We’re just friends. I’m way too old for him.” I lowered my voice. “Exactly how old is he, anyway?”

“Gabe? He turned twenty-one last month.”

I swallowed again but for an entirely different reason. He was barely out of his teenage years, almost a decade younger than me. Right then, I wanted to leave. I wanted to get up, drive home, open a bottle of wine, and forget I had ever agreed to be friends with Gabe. Forget I had even met him. What was I doing, hanging with people so young? It wasn’t me. I was used to cocktail parties and client dinners, not pizza and beer evenings at the beach.

I reached for my bag but Drew’s hand shot out and grabbed my wrist. “If I’m going, you’re going,” he said.

I put the bag back down and settled into my chair. “Fair enough. But I’m only staying to give you moral support.”

Drew grinned. “Thanks. I think you’re the only one who is going to be able to convince me that I’m not still in love with her.”

“I promise to keep you strong,” I said with mock seriousness.

Gabe sauntered out of his bedroom, dressed in jeans and the still damp and slightly see-through t-shirt he had pulled on.

“Ready?” he asked me and tucked his hair behind his ears.

I nodded and my gaze flicked to Drew. “You owe me,” I muttered.

There were too many people to fit into Gabe’s black jeep so Stefan pulled up his car and pushed open the door for Elise. “Hop in!” he yelled over the thud of the music.

“I’m going to go with Gabe,” Haleigh said to her friend.

“Then I’m going with Stefan,” Drew muttered, making Elise get out so he could clamber into the backseat.

Haleigh looked at me expectantly, holding the door of Gabe’s jeep open. “Are you coming?”

I was just about to climb into the back seat when Gabe pulled me back. “You can ride up the front with me.” He waved for Haleigh to hop into the back.

“Beauty before age, I guess,” Haleigh said.

“What the fuck, Haleigh?” Gabe said. “Forget to take your bitch-be-gone pills this morning?” He shook his head and slammed the front seat back. I hopped in and stared down at the floor wishing even more, I had just picked up my bags and left.

“Sorry,” Haleigh mumbled. “It was just a joke. I’m sure, despite how you look, you’re not that much older than us.”

Gabe scowled at her in the rear vision mirror before turning the key. Immediately, we were blasted with Def Leppard through the sound system, which was clearly a lot newer than the jeep. It was just nearing the end of the song and Gabe turned down the volume.

“Sorry.” He grinned and worked the gear stick into reverse.

“What was that?” Haleigh complained from the back seat.

“A song from before you were even born,” I replied, then turned to Gabe. “I’m surprised you listen to them.”

“Someone, don’t know who, left this CD in my car and it’s become my favourite. It’s filled with rock hits from the eighties. I love it. They don’t make music like that anymore.” He pounded his hands against the steering wheel in time to the music as we cruised down the road.

The sound of distant gunfire and hovering helicopters filled the car. My eyes grew wide. “I haven’t heard this in ages! My dad used to listen to it whenever Mother was out of the house. I love it.”

“What is it?” Haleigh piped up from the back again.

“How can you not know this?” Gabe said, momentarily lifting his hands from the wheel to play air guitar.

“Probably because it’s ancient,” Haleigh grumbled. “Can’t you put on something that was at least released after we were born? Or, most of us, anyway.”

We ignored her as the lyrics started and we sang in low gravelly voices. “I can’t remember anything…” I threw my head back and laughed, deciding to not give a stuff about what the little miss in the back thought.

Gabe turned it louder and Haleigh blocked her ears. I hadn’t listened to Metallica in years. It seemed unbelievable to me at the time, but Derek had preferred softer music. He would have far rather listened to Celine Dion than ACDC.

“Does this song ever stop?” Haleigh whined.

“You should have gone in Stefan’s car,” Gabe yelled back to her. “He’s into that doff, doff, dance crap. Would have been more your style.”

We arrived at the beach and Haleigh and Elise immediately stripped down to their bikini bottoms, slathered on some lotion and laid out on their towels. Stefan and Gabe grabbed the surfboards that were strapped to the top of the jeep and pulled on full-length wet suits. I watched them as they ran towards the water and tried not to think about what could be waiting for them in the surf.

“You going to take some pictures? Gabe said you used to be a photographer.” Drew nodded to the camera hanging around my neck.

“Sure am,” I replied, taking in the surroundings.

It was truly beautiful. Out in the water, a tiny island stood against the clouded sky. The sun was poking through the clouds and streamed in bright rays that reached down to the water. I lifted the camera and took a quick snap of the boys as they ran, one after the other, into the water, their bodies nothing but dark silhouettes against the light. “Want to join me?” I asked, turning to Drew.

He lifted a bag. “Mind if I collect some shellfish while we’re at it? I prefer to stay in water that doesn’t go above my knees.”

We left the girls sunning on the beach and the boys riding the waves and waded out to the little island. There was a walkway to the top with a lookout which I stood on and took photos of the people below. Afterwards, I followed Drew as he climbed over rocks and waded into the water to retrieve the tight, dark shells that held the shellfish.

“Twelve,” he said triumphantly, joining me back on the rock. “That should do us nicely for a snack.” He was soaked. His jeans were heavy with water and his t-shirt was dark up to his armpits. “Ended up going a little deeper than the knees.”

“You look like you’re frozen,” I said, noticing the way the little hairs were standing up on the back of his neck.

“I’m all good,” he said. “Want to help me gather some wood? We’ll cook these babies up over a fire.”

I had fun collecting the firewood with Drew. He was a nice guy and I could see why Gabe counted him as one of his best friends. I discovered he was a little older than the other boys and worked as a nurse down at the hospital. He had been friends with Gabe since school and spoke highly of him.

By the time the boys came out of the water, we had a fire, complete with a homemade grill for the shellfish, ready and waiting. The girls had pulled on some more layers of clothing and were grateful for the warmth of the fire. Stefan pulled out a box of beers and handed them around the group. Gabe refused because he was driving, and I offered to drive home so he could drink, but he shook his head. I took a beer and gulped down the neck. It was horrible.

Gabe pulled his wetsuit half off and sat beside me. “Get any nice photos?”

I took out my camera and flicked through the digital preview button. There were some good shots of him and Stefan surfing which excited them greatly. Even Elise and Haleigh murmured some sounds of approval.

“Just a couple more minutes,” Gabe said, inching closer to me. “The sunsets out here are stunning.”

A few minutes passed and I saw for myself what he meant. Gabe stood and held his hand out. “Come on, let's go get some shots.” He pulled me to my feet and followed me around the beach as I crouched behind the dry grass, lay on the ground and climbed the sand dunes, getting the angles I wanted.

“So why’d you give it up?” Gabe asked after a while.

“Pardon?” I said, intent on capturing the last of the lingering light.

“Photography? Why’d you give it up?”

I let the camera fall around my neck. “I got pregnant.”

“You’ve got a kid?” Gabe’s eyebrows shot up, and I shook my head quickly.

“Miscarriage.” It wasn't exactly the truth, but it was easier than telling the whole truth. “I went to work as Derek’s PA after that.” What I didn’t tell him about was losing the baby, the depression, and the endless nights of tears. The way I was broken.

“I’m so sorry.” From the way Gabe said it, I knew he meant it. He looked so sad yet so handsome with the last of the light from the sun setting behind him. I lifted my camera and pressed the shutter, blocking out the dark thoughts that started to invade my mind.

“It never really goes away, does it?” He reached out and took my hand. It was a sweet touch, as if, in the moment he needed to feel someone close by. He played with each of my fingers before letting them slip between his and fall to my side. “I lost my brother.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Two years ago.”

“He must have been young.” Two years. He lost his brother around the same time as I lost… I didn’t want to think about it.

“Car crash. They reckon he fell asleep at the wheel.”

I wanted to take his hand like he did mine, let him know I understood, I knew what it was like to lose yourself in sadness, but Drew took that moment to yell out to us.

“Grub’s up!”

Gabe’s demeanour changed in an instant. He smiled and tugged at my hand again, his sorrow not forgotten, but buried deep. “You like seafood?”

“Love it.”

We joined the others and sucked the smoked muscles from their shells. They were juicy and sweet and everything that fresh seafood should be. Drew licked every one of his fingers when he was done.

“Worth getting cold and miserable for?” I asked.

“Totally.”