***
It needed to be done. David was right.
All of Sunday I had tiptoed around everyone, suspicious of them. What if they knew but they were acting like nothing had happened?
No, that wasn’t possible. Mum would have never been so calm if she knew. But, David had managed to calm her down before.
At one point I had been so confused, with the headache coming back, that I needed to excuse myself to go into my room.
Despite my suspicions of him hating me, I could see how worried David was for me. He had taken good care of me, but somehow managed to give me enough space as well.
By sunset, I was feeling better, both emotionally and physically. It made sense to trust he hadn’t told our parents about me.
After dinner, I took a walk outside, thinking it would help with my anxiety. I knew tomorrow morning I had to get back on campus. That meant I had to face Alex.
I couldn’t say to his face that I was breaking up with him. He would kill me.
Maybe I should follow David’s advice. Text Alex. Or Call him.
“Isn’t that what cowards do?” I asked myself.
But he’d kill me if I tell him in person.
I was still undecided and even more anxious when I got back into the house. The warmth from the fireplace mellowed me out as I stepped in.
“You’re still up?”
George was reading in the living room, his hipster glasses low on his nose.
“Yes. I don’t want to disturb your mother with the lights on.”
“I’m going to bed. Enjoy your book, George.”
“Goodnight, Eva.”
As I walked past David’s door, I felt the need to go in. I needed to be close to him, even for a minute. His unexpected support still baffled me, and attracted me like a curious phenomenon.
I knocked weakly. “Oh, God. What am I doing, I shouldn’t be here,” I mumbled and started for my door.
“What’s up? Did you knock?”
I forced a smile. “Yeah.”
“Everything alright?”
“Yes.” Taking a deep breath, I raised my eyes to his. “I just wanted to thank you. For today.”
“I know you don’t want to worry your mum.”
“No, not that. I meant for being there for me.” It felt strange to say those words, like were a public admission of defeat from my part. I must’ve grimaced, seeing as David started laughing.
“It’s alright. You’re a good person. I like you.”
My lungs malfunctioned for a split second, before I chastised myself for attributing other meanings to his simple words. Of course he liked me, I was his future step sister.
Still, I could’ve sworn he said those last three words on a different tone, like he wanted me to interpret them the way I did. “My sick mind,” I thought and pushed the idea away.
“Anyway, thank you, David. Goodnight.”
“Goodnight.”
I hurried into my room, suspecting I was blushing embarrassingly. “Way to go, stupid.”
Leaning against the closed door, I forced myself to think of anything else but David. When I finally opened my eyes, I smiled. He had made my bed for the night. There was even a little chocolate bar on my pillow. “Silly man.”
I kept smiling as I changed into my nightie, and would’ve probably gone to sleep smiling if it weren’t for Alex’s call.
At first, I wanted to reject it, but David’s words sprang to mind. It needed to be done, Alex needed to hear I was no longer his girlfriend, and the only way I could survive this was to do it over the phone. Maybe he’d stop harassing me, once we stopped being a couple.
Who was I kidding? He wasn’t the type to give up easily.
Nonetheless, I had to start somewhere, so I picked up.
“What the fuck, Eva? You playing games with me?”
“No, Alex. There are no games.”
“You stupid bitch, tomorrow you’re coming here. I’m picking you up from the train station.”
I thought I heard a noise in David’s room. I strained to distinguish what was it, but it had stopped.
“Did you hear me, Eva?”
“Yes.”
“Good. Now be a good girl and send me a pic of your tight pussy.”
“Alex, I need to tell you something.”
“What? Like you’re pregnant or something?”
“No.”
“If you were, you wouldn’t keep it. Just so we’re clear. So, what do you want?”
I felt nauseous suddenly.
No, I had to do this, I couldn’t chicken out of it.
“Speak up. Send me that picture first, though. I’m out of new material for the guys.”
“What guys? What are you talking about?”
He laughed, the sound sending shivers of disgust down my spine. “Sweetheart, why do you think the guys like you so much? You’re a porn star. Let me tell you, they just love jerking off to your pictures. Who would have thought, though, that your most popular feature is your ass. I mean, it’s perky and small, but still…”
“You’re sharing my private pictures with your friends?” This must’ve been a joke. Maybe another psychological torture method Alex wanted to try on me. He surely couldn’t have done something so horrible.
The noise happened again but my mind was too preoccupied with comprehending the shameful news to pay any attention to David's room.
“Look, Eva. It’s nothing. All the guys do it. You’re the hottest of all the girlfriends, so I’m Mister Popular, but don’t be a drama queen. You're a star, baby!”
“I’m breaking up with you.”
There was a moment of silence. I held my breath, waiting for his reaction.
“I’m going to kill you, you little slut. You’re nothing but a piece of ass that every guy on campus has seen naked. Do you hear me? Without me, you’ll be the campus whore, everyone would fuck you and leave you. I will forgive you for slipping up this time, but you won’t get away with it.”
“I’m breaking up with you,” I repeated, as the last thing before tears choked me up.
“You’re dead!” he shouted. “I’m going to destroy you. You’re nothing without me. You’ll regret this, you fucking…”
I hang up on his verbal abuse, letting myself be taken over by convulsive crying.
I was done, destroyed. He was right. Tomorrow, or even earlier, someone will forward me some link to my own naked pictures and everything will be over. My friends will not be there, no one would commit social suicide by associating themselves with the campus whore, as Alex had rightly put it.
Through my silent sobs I heard David’s bedroom door close. If he found me in this state, he’d want to talk about it and I wasn’t strong enough to face him. What will he think when he finally found out what a slut I was?
Hoping it’ll deter him from making me talk, I curled up under the covers and faked being asleep. He didn’t come and, before I knew it, I was falling asleep.