***
I had been distracted all day, going over in my mind every word David had said.
“I meant it.” What did he want to say with that?
That he liked me? He meant that he liked me when he said it? Was he attracted to me?
I almost cried out of frustration at one point.
“Jesus, I need to find out!” I said out loud, rolling in my sheets. “Tomorrow I’ll talk to him.”
If everyone saying that sleeping on it would help with better judgement was to be believed, then I was being denied counsel by the mysterious gods that were supposed to untangle my thoughts while I slept. I couldn’t keep my eyes closed for the nervousness, let alone get any rest.
At the crack of dawn I was already staring at my phone, pondering whether it was too early to call David or not.
I had no classes until noon so there was plenty of time for a good face-to-face talk. But, was I making a mistake?
Maybe , I was blowing everything out of proportion, enabling my own confusing feelings to get the better of me. I had made a fool of myself enough times in front of David, I couldn’t bear the thought of him knowing about my feelings.
He would be grossed out. What if he told his father, and I ended up ruining my mother's relationship?
No, I couldn’t do that.
I spent the morning walking aimlessly through the park, didn’t even stop when it started raining. I didn’t notice I had forgotten my phone until I returned to my bedroom to get ready for class.
I picked it up and saw David had called me three times. I held my breath as I dialed him back.
“Hey, Eva. What's up?”
“You called me.”
“Yeah. I wanted to check up on you, see if you were OK. Are you?”
“I… What did you mean when you said you liked me?”
Disregarding the internal uproar advising my mouth to shut up, I had just made the biggest mistake of my life. There was no way out of this one.
He remained silent for what felt like the longest time. He must’ve been looking for the right words to tell me I was insane and that I should stay away from him.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said it.”
“You shouldn’t have?”
“It doesn’t mean anything. Look, you're a pretty girl, smart and everything. I’m sure there are lots of guys within your reach that you should be spending your time questioning.”
“I am not questioning you. I just wanted to know for sure what you meant.”
“I didn’t mean anything.”
I took a deep breath to stop the pesky tears that wanted to choke me up before apologizing for my silliness and hanging up.
“Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid!” I cried. “How could you be so fucking stupid?”
David didn’t give me enough time to answer that, as he was calling again.
“Yes?”
“Are you busy now?”
“I have a class in… Oh, God! I’m twenty five minutes late!”
“OK. Then you better hurry.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re already late?”
“No, why did you ask?”
“Oh. Nothing really. I wanted to see you. Talk in person, but nevermind that.”
“Stop being an idiot!”
I could picture his shocked expression. “Sorry?”
“Stop saying something and then pretend it never happened. It’s not fair. Just man up, for goodness’ sake!”
“I’m sorry…”
“Oh, for the love of… Just come over. I’m skipping this class.”