Chapter 32
Asher
“Hey, baby. How was your day?”
“Long,” she sighs heavily.
“I wish you would have let me come with you. I could be rubbing your feet about now.” Or taking away every trouble and every worry and every doubt with my mouth and fingers and cock.
“That sounds heavenly, actually.”
Dammit, I should have insisted I go with her. I spent an endless day in a barrage of meetings and I can’t tell you a damn thing that was said. My attention was entirely distracted on the leggy, beautiful woman that I’m trying desperately to figure out how to hold onto.
Sandra, my VP of acquisitions and divestitures, was pretty fed up with me by the end of our two-hour planning session. I also agreed to a new marketing campaign that’s to start next week, signing off on slogans I couldn’t repeat if you held a gun to my head. Guess I’ll see what I did when the multimedia ads hit the market.
“What are you doing now?”
“In bed, nursing a glass of wine.”
“Are you naked?”
She laughs. I love her laugh. “No. I’m only naked when I sleep with you. Otherwise I’m usually in pajamas.”
“The sexy, see-through kind or the grandma kind?” That earns me another laugh which sends a zing directly to my dick. It’s now semi-hard at the thought of her wearing something black and see-through. God, I miss her.
“Is your mind always on sex?” she asks, her voice low and sultry.
“Surprisingly, no. Don’t get me wrong, I think about sex with you a lot. A. lot. But I enjoy holding you in my arms when we sleep or the feel of your head in my lap as we watch TV or cooking dinner for you just as much, Alyse.” I’m surprised at how much I mean those words.
“Asher,” she breathes.
“I love you, Alyse. So very much.”
She hesitates to respond and just those two seconds feel like an hour. “Why?”
It guts me that she keeps questioning how I feel, but it utterly shreds me that she believes herself undeserving of it. “Baby, the better question is why not? You’re an incredibly amazing woman. I wish you could see what I do when I look at you.”
“So do I,” she replies quietly.
“I’ve never loved anybody more. Calling what I feel for you love is an injustice, because it goes so much deeper than that. I have never felt this happy or alive or…whole. I finally know who I am when I’m with you, like I’m the best version of myself, if that makes sense.”
“It does,” she whispers.
As much as I detest her insecurity, I hate my own more. Dammit, I’ve been feeling this nagging uncertainty since Saturday night and it’s eating away at my insides more and more every minute to the point I think I may be getting an ulcer. I’ll probably hold the world record for the least amount of time taken to make my own gut bleed.
“Tell me you love me, Alyse.” Jesus, please tell me you love me.
“So much I can hardly breathe.” Her voice is soft and threaded with amazement, but I also don’t miss the underlying tone of sadness.
My entire body sags into the couch in relief. “Baby…you going to tell me what’s going on with you? And don’t tell me it’s nothing and that you’re fine. Because neither is true.”
“I just…I need some time.”
My heart stutters, hoping to hell that’s not code for “it’s not you, it’s me.” “Define time, baby.”
“Promise me you’ll be patient with me. Please, Asher.”
“I promise, Alyse.”
“I…need to work through a few things.”
“Do these things have to do with us?” I ask hesitantly, not at all sure I can stomach the answer, feeling the bleed gush a little more.
“No. It’s…complicated.”
“Okay,” I concede, when that’s the very last thing I want to do. I’m not 100 percent sure I believe her. Whatever happened a few days ago is threatening to tear us apart. “But you should know patience is not my strong suit.”
She chuckles, teasing, “Really? I didn’t know that. What else are you hiding from me? Hair-trigger temper? Secret family? Ugly wart on the bottom of your foot that I haven’t come across yet?”
“Well, I was going to wait to tell you this until after you agreed to marry me, but I do have royalty in my bloodline. It may be nine times removed, but royalty is royalty, babe. I didn’t want it sway your decision or anything.”
“Royalty, huh? You know, I’ve always been a big fan of crowns and staged social engagements and stuffy dinner parties. If you’re really royalty, as you say, it’s a definite yes.”
The thought of making Alyse my wife has been rattling around in my head since that first night I cooked for her. Nothing has felt as right as being with her. I know it’s only been a month that we’ve actually been together, but I’m almost thirty years old and I’ve known Alyse for years. Dating for whatever cursory time period people think is acceptable, before marrying the person you know you are meant to spend your life with, is absurd. I know this is right with every fiber of my being. Alyse is my forever.
“Wow, if that’s all it took, I would have asked you to marry me already.”
Her breath catches. “Asher…”
Before she can say another word or protest, I change the subject to what her day looks like tomorrow and move into a comfortable, easygoing conversation for the next hour.
When we hang up, I realize I had it all wrong. I thought Alyse was sent to save me, but now I know it’s the other way around.
We are together because I’m supposed save her. I can’t wait to have her back in my arms where she belongs. Where she’ll always belong and I can remind her daily of my love and utter devotion to her.
I feel her slipping through my fingers. My original fear of her hurting me rears its ugly head, spewing doubt and suspicion. I can’t let that happen. I won’t let that happen.
I don’t want anyone else besides her. When I picture my future, there’s not one scenario that doesn’t include her. I don’t know how, but I know I’m not letting her go this time. I will fight to the death for her, because she’s quickly become my entire world. The only thing that truly matters.
Before I go to bed, I send her a text that I hope conveys I’ve meant every word I’ve ever spoken to her.
Me: give a listen to everything by lifehouse
Several minutes later she responds. Her sassy words warm my insides.
Alyse: dominant, romantic, and sappy? i’ve hit the triple crown
Me: u forgot royalty
Alyse: and egoistical
Me: confidence is not ego, baby. it’s just confidence
Alyse: i love u asher colloway
Me: i love u back alyse kingsley
I go to sleep that night alone, but with a smile on my face and love and hope in my heart.