Chapter 4
Asher
“Have you had lunch yet?” Now that she’s agreed to my terms, I want to get to the fun part. Getting to know this grown-up Alyse who has me mesmerized. Who’s been overshadowing my every thought for weeks. The fact that her asshole boyfriend is out of the picture is that much better. Because one way or another, he was gonna be gone.
“Yes. I ate a quick bite before you arrived.”
I can’t tell if she’s telling the truth or not, so I change tactics. “Dinner, then.”
“I don’t know, Asher. It’s probably best if we don’t.”
Bullshit.
“I have a few more things I’d like to discuss. Get you up to speed on CFC before Monday.” I don’t, because I’d planned on doing that Monday morning, but she doesn’t have to know that. Besides, if it makes her say yes, then I’ll spend some of the precious personal time I get with her on business.
She smirks and her eyes twinkle. I guess I’m not as smooth as I think. That, or she sees right through me, which is the more disconcerting of the two.
“Well, since it’s only a little after one o’clock and you blocked the entire afternoon, we have time now.”
“Yes, I did,” I reply slowly, trying to think how I’m going to get her to agree. “However, another urgent matter came up on the way here and I’m afraid I have an important call in an hour.” It didn’t and I don’t. “I’ll pick you up at seven,” I say as I begin to rise. I can see asking Alyse will get me nowhere, so demand it will be. That’s my usual MO anyway and what I’m far more comfortable with.
“I’m going to see you tomorrow at your mom’s for Thanksgiving. We can just talk then.”
I turn, my hand gripping the doorknob. I surprise myself by telling the truth instead of being flippant. “I don’t want to spend a holiday talking about business, Alyse. That’s one of the few days I get away from it and I just want to enjoy spending time with my family.”
Her face falls and I know I have her, but I wonder why it doesn’t make me as happy as it should. Maybe because I want Alyse to want to be with me, not coerced to be with me.
“Yes, I’m sorry. Okay.”
I nod, open the door, and walk through, calling over my shoulder, “See you at seven.”
Half an hour later, I walk through the front door of my family home, surprised to see Gray and Livia there already, but happy nonetheless. Things are finally getting back to normal between Gray and myself after the whole firing misunderstanding with Livia.
At the time, I truly thought it was best for both of them. Although it’s hard, even I can admit when I’ve royally fucked up. I guess I should have discussed my decision with Gray before sending Camille to Livia’s apartment with severance papers. In retrospect, I can see how very uncool and unprofessional it was, but I was also trying to avoid another debacle like the one five years ago.
Gray was destroyed when Livia left him, and although neither will tell me the whole story, Gray has assured me it wasn’t because she wanted to. Whatever that means. All I know is if she hurts him again, I will stop at nothing to keep her out of his life, underhanded or not. Although with twins on the way, keeping her out of his life will be that much harder.
But at the moment I don’t have to worry about that, because they seem genuinely happy and are to be married in just a few short weeks. For both of their sakes, I hope it works out. I know how devastating it can be to have the woman you love crush you. It’s something I still haven’t fully recovered from. I’m beginning to wonder if I ever will.
“Hi,” I say, grabbing a beer from the fridge.
“Starting a little early, aren’t you?” Gray responds. He’s sitting at the island with his arms wrapped around Livia from behind, who’s standing between his legs thumbing through a wedding magazine. I don’t want to examine too closely why that intimate gesture causes me a little pang of envy.
I ignore his jab. I only plan on having a couple of brews before I spend the rest of the afternoon catching up on some work. Then I want to spend the evening and all day tomorrow just enjoying Alyse’s company. I need time to break down her defenses before Monday. I already know she’s trying to ignore what’s sizzling hot between us, and in some ways I have to respect that. She’s professional, she’s trying to run a business, and she doesn’t want to fraternize with clients. I get that. Hell, I agree with that. But I plan on being more than just a client to her.
“Where’s Mom?” Usually she would be running around the kitchen like a chicken with her head cut off by now.
“She needed a few things from the store. She’ll be back shortly,” Gray replies.
“Why are you guys here so early?” I ask after taking a nice long drink of the cold, tasty liquid. Mom doesn’t normally drink, except for an occasional glass of wine, but she always has each of my brothers’ favorite beers on hand when we come home.
“I wanted to help your mom with the cooking,” Livia says, looking up from the wedding dresses she’s perusing.
“That’s nice, Livia.” I smile and she returns it. Livia and I are also trying to mend things, although that’s taking a little bit longer. One of my biggest personality flaws is the ability to forgive and forget. I’m not good at either, especially when it comes to someone hurting the people I love.
“Why are you here so early?” Gray eyes me suspiciously. I haven’t told him about my intent to hire Alyse yet, but he’s no fool. He spent an hour lecturing me weeks ago on why I needed to stay away from her.
She’s like family.
Don’t use her.
Awkwardness.
Blah blah blah. But I’m a grown fucking man. I make my own decisions and I almost always get what I want. I want Alyse. Surprisingly for more than just sex, because if that’s all it was, I would stay away from her. Or I’d try my level best, for to some degree I agree with Gray.
Livia is all Alyse has and now that she’s marrying my brother, we’re bound to see a lot of each other at family functions. So if I use her, as I have every other woman for the last four years, yes, I would be a rat bastard. Thing is, I don’t want to use her. I like her. A lot.
I need to change the subject. The last thing I want to do is get into a conversation about Alyse in front of her sister. “Is Luke coming?” I ask.
Gray shakes his head disapprovingly. He knows exactly what I’m up to. Bastard. “He said he would try. I’m not holding my breath.” He sounds rather caustic and I see a look of hurt pass over Livia’s face before Gray spins her in his arms so she’s facing him. He cups her face. “I’m sorry, angel.”
“Try to be nice to him. For me,” she replies softly.
“You know I will.” When he brings her mouth to his, I feel like I’m intruding on a private moment, so I turn and leave, heading to my bedroom. I have no idea how Livia knows Luke, all I know is that she does. Another one of the little mysteries that surrounds Livia’s disappearance and Luke’s long absence.
Since Luke has resurfaced and apparently cleaned up his shit, we’ve talked a few times, but it’s strained—on both sides. Last time I talked to him, he told me he’s in the process of relocating his PI business from Dayton to Chicago so he can be closer to family. Having been out of our lives for over ten years, he’s almost like a stranger to me and I’m not sure how I feel about that, but I think I’d like to have my big brother back.
I spend the next few hours catching up on emails and making a few phone calls before taking a shower to get ready for my date with Alyse. I have a lovely little Italian restaurant picked out. It’s a hole in the wall, but it’s quiet and romantic and their chicken cannelloni is to die for.
Alyse didn’t give me her address, but I know where she lives. I’ve driven by her house a couple of times over the last few months to see if I can catch a glimpse of her. About a month ago I saw her in the living room windows. I stopped on the street, drinking in the sight of her for several minutes.
She was cleaning and singing. She looked so goddamn carefree and happy. Even then the thought crossed my mind that I wanted to be the one to put that smile on her face. I quickly put the car into gear and got the hell out of there before I did something even more stupid than stalking, like walking up to her door and demanding that she let me fuck her against the closest wall.
At five-thirty, dressed in dark jeans and a black wool sweater, I head downstairs to visit with my family a bit before I head out. When I hit the landing, the noise from the kitchen draws me in that direction. I don’t know if it’s like this with every other family, but in our house the kitchen is the hot spot. I’ve spent more than one night standing around the island, drinking and laughing with my brothers, my mom, and my dad when he was alive. That kitchen is full of dozens of good and bad memories, but I cherish each and every one. Even though I’ve not lived at home since I went away to college, every time I’m back here it feels like where I should be.
“Hey Mom.” I kiss her on the cheek before I grab a piece of cheese from the charcuterie platter. One thing I’ll say about my mom…we’ll never starve when we’re home. By the time I leave on Saturday, I’ll probably have gained five pounds.
“Hi, sweetie. What have you had your head down doing?”
I pull her into a hug. “Just some work things to finish up. I promise I’m yours the next two days.” Mom worries about Gray, Conn, and me working too much. She’s probably right to worry, but it takes dedication, hard work, and a lot of hours to be successful. Yet the only thing she sees is a husband taken from her too early because he dedicated his life to his company. A company that I now run.
“Promise?”
“Promise.” Kissing her head, I release her. Grabbing a cold one from the fridge, I twist off the top and take a long pull.
“Anyone special snag your attention yet, Asher?” she asks.
Why are mothers always trying to marry you off? I’ll tell you why in one word: grandchildren.
I look around to see if anyone else heard her question and it doesn’t appear they did. “Possibly,” I reply softly, not wanting anyone else to hear. “But keep it on the down low, okay?”
She winks and I smile. I fucking love my mother.
I notice Gray and Livia sitting at the kitchen table. They appear to be going over a checklist of sorts. Probably more wedding shit. I don’t know how he has the patience to go through all that crap. When I get married, whatever my wife wants, she’ll get. Wait…did I just think when?
“You look nice, brother,” Conn quips, a smug smirk on his face. I mouth, “fuck you” while throwing up my middle finger. Behind my mother’s back, of course.
“I’m meeting some of the guys at Stubby’s later. You coming?”
“Who?” I ask, just to be conversational. I have no intention of going. I plan on spending the whole evening with Alyse. If she’ll let me. Even if she doesn’t, I don’t really have any desire to spend an evening with a bunch of old high school people who I couldn’t care less about. Everything I care about is in this room right here. With the exception of one person. I find myself mulling over that thought when Conn answers.
“Alan, Bud, Mark. The usual.”
“I have plans.” At that declaration, Gray’s head snaps in my direction. The withering look he gives does the opposite of what it’s supposed to do. I laugh. He whispers something to Livia, then stands, making his way to me.
“Can I talk to you for a second? Alone?”
I roll my eyes, but follow him into the darkened sunroom anyway, far away from the prying ears of others.
“What the fuck are you doing?” he hisses.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“I told you to stay away from Alyse.”
I just chuckle. “Yes, you did.”
“Then what do you think you’re doing? That’s Livvy’s sister you’re fucking with.”
Amusement is quickly replaced by anger. “First of all, this is none of your goddamn business, Gray. Second of all, I would never hurt Alyse. I like her.”
“Yes, Asher. I’m familiar with your definition of ‘like’. Can’t you find someone else to wet the wick in besides her?”
I get right in my brother’s angry face, mine a perfect mirror. My voice comes out low and threatening, which is exactly how I feel. My older brother may be bigger and can likely to beat me in a fight, but I’ll get in a few good hits before I go down. If he’s lucky, his face will be healed before his wedding day. “You’d better watch how you talk about her.”
Surprise quickly flashes in his eyes. He takes a deep breath, slowly letting it out. “I don’t want Alyse to get hurt.”
While I somewhat deserve that jab, it stings nonetheless. I admit that since Natalie, I haven’t been willing to give a woman more than one or two dates—fucks, whatever—but Alyse is different. I know that already. Trust me, I’ve been struggling with it for two long months, warring with myself on how, or if, I pursue this intense attraction I have for her.
But no matter what I do, I cannot get her out of my head. She’s like a fucking magnet and I’m inexplicably drawn to her, exactly as I was so many years ago. I like her. I don’t want to hurt her. And for the first time since Natalie, I find myself wanting someone to like me back. That’s some scary shit.
“And what about me?” I ask quietly.
“What about you?”
“What about me getting hurt? Do you care about that?” I sit heavily on the couch behind me and drop my gaze from Gray’s. I have no idea how Alyse feels about me. After today, there’s no doubt she’s attracted to me, but does it go beyond physical? After two months of doing nothing but thinking about her, now that I’ve seen her again today, I know it’s more than physical for me.
So me getting hurt is a very real possibility here. I’m scared shitless to make myself any more emotionally vulnerable than I already have been. Even thinking that Alyse could be something long-term makes my lungs seize up. But not enough to want to stop.
“Wow. I had no idea,” he says, taking a seat beside me.
I don’t respond, because there’s nothing really to say.
“Of course I don’t want to see you hurt, Ash. Do you…do you think Alyse could?” What he’s actually asking is, do I like her enough to open myself up to even getting hurt?
I fucking hate feeling this exposed. “Yes,” I answer quietly. “I’ve always had a thing for her.”
“I remember. I thought I was going to have take you down on the Fourth that one year.”
I laugh sardonically. I didn’t think I did a very good job of hiding my unholy attraction to her back then. “I didn’t know you knew about that.”
“Yeah, well, it was hard not to notice how you two disappeared for a while. Then you all showed back up, you and Conn pissed and Alyse embarrassed. Didn’t take a genius to put it all together. I never missed the way you looked at her that summer. You’re lucky I downplayed it with Livvy or I would have been required to beat the shit out of you.”
“Nothing happened,” I say quietly. But it certainly wasn’t for lack of trying.
“Nothing?”
“Connelly and his big fucking mouth,” I mumble.
Gray chuckles lightly and we fall into silence, allowing that day’s events from long ago to roll through my mind.
“Jesus, asshole, put your tongue back in your mouth before someone catches you.”
“Fuck off,” I tell my twin, unable to tear my eyes away from the ethereal vision in a white-string, barely there bikini currently floating on top of the pool. Her eyes are squeezed shut against the sun’s bright rays. Her hands are stretched out, gently pushing the pool water back and forth. Her nipples poke against the thin fabric of her suit, making my mouth hurt with the need to taste them.
“She’s jailbait, brother.”
That she may be, but it doesn’t stop me from liking her more than I should or wanting her anyway. Alyse and I have been apparently not so subtly dancing around each other for the last two months now, ever since I came home from college for the summer.
I’d met Alyse a couple of times last summer, but dismissed her because of her age. She may now only be seventeen, almost eighteen, but. Hot. Damn. What a difference a year makes. There’s not one red-blooded male who wouldn’t be attracted to her. I’ve had the fortune to be able to spend quite a bit of time with her these past two months since she and Livia have frequented our new in-ground pool. In addition to being stunning, she’s also smart and funny and more mature than girls my age, let alone hers. I look forward to spending time with her more than any other girl I’ve ever known.
“Thanks, but I don’t need your two fucking cents.” I slam my beer and throw the empty in the trash before jumping in the pool close to her, enjoying her screams as my splash drenches her.
“Hey!” she laughs, splashing me back once she gets her footing.
I circle her like prey and she pivots with me, following my every move, smiling flirtatiously.
“You look fucking hot, Alyse,” I whisper, edging closer to her, but not close enough to touch. My hands itch to pull her into me so she can feel just how hard she’s making me. When she was here last weekend, we had a few stolen minutes where I made it to second base and the only thing I’ve been able to think about all week is getting my hands and mouth back on her. That, and the possibility of rounding home plate.
“Actually, the pool cooled me off,” she responds flippantly.
“Yes, I can tell.” My gaze drops to her dark, beaded nipples. When I finally look back at her face, she’s bright red, but lust swims in her golden eyes.
“Oh,” is all she says.
“I want to kiss you, Alyse,” I growl lowly. I flick my eyes over to Conn who is watching my every action intently. Fucker. Quickly glancing around, I see that Gray and Livia must have gone inside, so at least they’re not witness to my lack of restraint.
“You do, huh?” She’s acting coy, but there’s no mistaking how her breaths have picked up.
“Fuck yes.”
She starts swimming around me, teasing, “Is that all you want to do?”
Fuck Conn. I couldn’t care less about his disapproval. I firmly plant my feet on the pool floor, reach out, and grab her waist, yanking her flush to me, our bodies now touching from knee to chest. There’s no way she can miss my desire for her. “No. Not even close.”
She swallows hard and doesn’t speak, but she doesn’t need to. I can see the longing mirrored in her innocent eyes. Jesus, she’s still in high school and I’m a bastard of epic proportions for wanting her like I do, but I can’t make myself stop. There is just something about this girl that I’m unable to resist, no matter how hard I’ve been trying.
“Wanna get out of here for a while?” She’s young, she’s innocent, and I have no doubt she’s a virgin. Plus I’m going back to college next month, so I know what I’m proposing may send me straight to hell, but a stampede of wild animals couldn’t make me take it back.
Yep. Asshole-of-the-year award winner, right here.
“And do what?” she asks nervously, chewing her bottom lip adoringly.
My hand drifts down to cup her firm ass, tugging her lower half closer. I let my fingers slide underneath her teeny bottoms. Her slight moan and hand tightly gripping my hip only make my cock throb harder, causing the palm sitting on her ass to start kneading unconsciously. “Whatever you want, Alyse. No pressure here, but you have to know if it were up to me, I’d be sliding my dick inside you within the next five minutes, tops.”
Her eyes never leave mine, searching for what, I don’t know. But she must find it, because when she finally responds, I can honestly say I haven’t been more excited at the prospect of being with a woman. Ever. And even at the young age of twenty-one, my portfolio is broad.
“Okay.”
“Everything all right in here?” a female voice cuts in, causing the vision of Alyse coming all over my fingers not five minutes later to dissolve.
Fuck. I’ve never forgotten a single minute of that summer with her.
Not one.
I look up to see Alyse’s older sister standing in the doorway, looking back and forth between Gray and me, brows creased. Even in the dark, I see her belly is starting to swell. Of course, Livia’s pretty slight and with twins it probably doesn’t take long to show.
Once again, I have to tamp down that little green monster.
Jesus, I’m acting like a pussy instead of the confident, successful businessman that could have any woman he wants.
Except now you don’t just want any woman. You want one. Alyse.
“Fine.” Rising from my seat, I give her a quick hug on my way out. “See you all later.”
When my mom asks where I’m going as I pass by, I simply say, “Out.” I’m sure one of my brothers will fill her in that I won’t be home for the rest of the evening, but I know neither will say I’m with Alyse.
As I get in my car and back out of the driveway for my short drive to pick Alyse up, I try to snap that cocky, confident mask I wear firmly back into place. Gray’s and my discussion has shaken me up more than I want to admit. I could fall hard and deep for this woman, but I have to know where she stands first. Because it’s not too late to rein my feelings back in and just move on to the next warm body.
Right, Ash. You just keep telling yourself that.