WHAT KAYLEE DIDN’T expect was for Jamie Dodge to show up at her front door the next morning, her dark hair tied back in a ponytail, her expression grim and grouchy. “I’m kidnapping you,” she said.
“You’re...kidnapping me?”
“Yes,” Jamie said, shifting her weight from one cowboy boot-clad foot to the next. “You have ten minutes to pack a weekend bag and get in.”
“I have...the clinic...”
“It’s closed today,” Jamie said, sounding maddeningly like her brother when she made definitive statements like that. “All emergencies will be allocated to Copper Ridge’s clinic by Laura. It’s all been arranged.”
“Is Bennett behind this?”
Hope flooded through her, but she didn’t want to hope too much. Or maybe she needed to. Maybe she needed to trust in the man that Bennett was, in the truth of his feelings, and let herself hope fully. Because she didn’t allow herself that. Ever. And if she was going to follow through with what she intended to do, she had to.
She had a speech prepared. And she was going to give it. She was going to tell him everything. About how she felt. For how long she’d felt it.
Even if she had to do it in front of his whole family.
“I’m not at liberty to say,” Jamie returned crisply.
“Just let me... Let me get dressed.”
She went back inside, packed a bag with essentials, and slowly selected an outfit, put on a little bit of makeup because unless Jamie was planning on dumping her off the side of a cliff she was going to see Bennett at some point today, wherever this was leading.
Though, given that Jamie Dodge was protective of her family and certainly not squeamish, Kaylee had to accept the fact that the cliff dumping might be a viable possibility.
On unsteady legs she met Jamie outside and got in her red pickup truck.
She stole a glance at the other woman who was determinedly looking at the road and not at Kaylee.
“So,” Kaylee said. “How is...everyone? I mean, with the changes. Quinn being in town. Dallas. Luke and Olivia having a baby.” Put in a list like that, the Dodges were having quite the time.
“Fine,” Jamie said, keeping her answer short and unfriendly.
“And Bennett and Dallas are...?”
“Fine with each other.” There was a break in the conversation. And then Jamie pressed on, her tone sharp. “You love him,” Jamie said. “I always suspected that you did. So...don’t hurt him. Not now. He’s been through enough, Kaylee. He’s lost enough. And he’s the best man, the best brother. He’s being the best...the best father to Dallas.” Jamie’s tone suddenly thickened. “He never acted like he hated me. Not once. And he could have blamed me for her death. He could have. But he was my big brother always. He protected me. I will damn well protect him now if I can.”
“I don’t want to hurt him,” Kaylee said, her head aching. “I’m just trying not to hurt myself.”
“Sure. I get that. I know how it feels to be hurt. To lose someone. But what’s the point in protecting yourself if that means losing all of the good things? Isn’t it better to risk the bad than to end up with nothing at all?”
Kaylee wasn’t sure what to say to that, but then Jamie spoke again. “If my dad... If Bennett, and Wyatt and Grant... If they’d chosen to let losing my mother keep them from loving me, I wouldn’t have anything. I’m grateful for their bravery. When people make the choice to be brave for love. It makes all the difference in the world.”
They drove on in silence until they reached the town of Copper Ridge. They drove through the main street, and Kaylee did her best to stop from asking questions as they went by all the little classic, shingle buildings. They bypassed the town and went out into the country, turning left off the main highway and down a long driveway. It was a ranch, that much she could tell. But they bypassed the fields and what looked like a large log cabin, going back into the trees until they stopped at a Victorian-style house, set in the middle of the rustic landscape. It was painted rich cranberry colors, the little yard full of azaleas.
“What’s this?”
She saw that Bennett’s truck was already there.
Her heart sped up, and she got out of the truck.
“Don’t forget your bags,” Jamie said, her expression only marginally friendlier than when she’d first appeared at Kaylee’s door.
She grabbed the bags, and then watched as Jamie drove away, leaving Kaylee stranded in front of the house. Well, she wasn’t really stranded, seeing as Bennett was there. But that depended on whether or not Bennett intended to take her off into the woods and leave her like she was a problem cat.
As if it had heard her thinking about cats, a little gray one hopped up onto the porch and rubbed itself up against one of the planter boxes in front of the door, looking at her plaintively. “I’m not sure what I’m doing here,” she said to the cat, getting down and scratching him behind the ears. “I’m hoping that you’re a good omen.”
She straightened and walked up the porch steps, stopping in front of the door. There was a little sign that said to enter, so she did.
It was a bed-and-breakfast, that much was clear when she walked in and saw the little podium with the guestbook sitting on top of it. There was no one attending the front room. But she looked down at the guestbook and saw a familiar name.
Bennett Dodge. Room two.
She swallowed hard and looked around, then headed toward the staircase, making her way up slowly, going down the hall and pausing in front of the door with the number two on the outside.
She felt frozen. Like she was standing in front of another door, in another house, in another time.
She was hoping now. Hoping she knew what she might find on the other side. Her defenses were destroyed. She couldn’t be cynical, she couldn’t hold back.
But she was afraid to open the door.
“Kaylee.” She heard Bennett’s voice through the door. “If that’s you standing out there hedging, just come in.”
As if it’s that simple.
Except...it was. She could stand out here and never know. Never have to face disappointment. And never, ever have a chance at what she really, truly wanted either.
With those options...well, there was no question.
She took a deep breath and pushed the door open. There he was, sprawled out on the bed, his black cowboy hat over his eyes. It was an incongruous image. The room itself was frilly. Lacy bedspread, a canopy over the top of it. Matching curtains. There was floral wallpaper that definitely went with the Victorian theme, but did not go with Bennett. And there he was, in a black T-shirt she loved so much, his regular jeans, his feet bare, his boots on the floor. And that hat over his face.
It was the bedroom. The one from her fantasies, only more. Richer. Better. The kind of princess room fit for a grown woman, and not a little girl.
The big, sexy cowboy on the bed added to that angle, for sure.
It hit her then, standing there, looking at her gorgeous masculine man in this frilly bedroom, that he wasn’t asking her to choose. He was offering her everything. The everything that she hadn’t thought she could possibly possess.
And here it was. Just all of it. Her business partner, her friend, her lover. On a lace bedspread.
Showing her that she could have it. That she deserved it. That he would be the things she needed. The things she desired.
“I...I don’t know what to say,” she said, closing the door behind her.
He moved his hat back and looked over at her. “Well, this is for you. And whether or not I stay is your call. But it’s paid for either way. So if you want a weekend with me...I’m here for that. If you want one without me, I’ll go.
“But this... Kaylee, I love you. But my loving you can’t be all a series of demands. It can’t be about where you fit in my life. It can’t be about just me being ready. I love you. And I’ll...do that however you want. If you want me to marry you, or if you don’t. I’ll still be there. If you want to just be friends... I can try that too. I feel like I’ve been awfully selfish with loving you, and that has to stop.” He took a breath. “I want to be what you need. The fulfillment of your dreams. That’s...that’s what I want. Really.”
“You aren’t selfish,” she said, making her way over to the bed and sitting on the edge of it. She placed her hand on his chest, could feel that, for all that his posture was relaxed, his heart was beating overly fast.
“Kaylee...” he began.
“No,” she said. “I’ve got some things to say to you. And I need to say them first. Bennett...I’ve been in love with you for most of my life. And the only way that I could deal with that was to comfortably assure myself that it could never turn into anything. I was just hiding. Loving you and never taking a chance. It was one thing to sit around and feel morose because you were with Olivia, because you were going to marry her... But I accepted it, Bennett. I accepted that you were going to marry another woman. I...I can’t even reach back that far to figure out what in hell was going through my mind. I feel like... Like that was another person. That person who wouldn’t fight for us. She couldn’t hope.”
She looked around the room, her heart swelling in her chest. “But...it’s me. It was me yesterday. When you said that you loved me and I turned you down, and I said all that stupid stuff. About not loving you, and about how you didn’t really love me. And it was all just...me protecting myself. It’s what I’ve always done. I told myself it was somehow benevolent of me not to ask you for anything more than friendship. But it wasn’t. I am a coward. Just like you said. Because I am so afraid of wanting and not having. I’m so afraid of confirming that we can’t be together. I would rather be the tragic figure in the story than someone who tried and didn’t succeed. I’m the one that made myself a sidekick. And it was...” She cleared her throat. “Do you know that your son snuck out last night?”
Bennett frowned. “What? No.”
“He did. He came to see me. To tell me that I am an idiot. And that I am less mature than him. He’s right about all of that. He came to talk to me because he said of everyone here I understood him. And I have to admit that means he kind of understands me. He said that...that he knew your name. But that he had been protecting himself by not going to you.”
Bennett nodded. “We actually had that talk last night.”
“I realized that’s been me. All this time. I never took the chance because I didn’t want to confirm that you couldn’t love me. And when you stood there telling me that you did... To think that I can have that is so scary. Because opening myself up to it completely means that I could be hurt. So badly. Worse than I ever have been. Because I love you so much that you have that power that no one else has.”
“Kaylee,” Bennett said, “why do you think I’ve spent my life planning things out the way that I have? Why do you think I was so obsessed with having all those pieces I thought were the right pieces? Because it was what I could control. And you can’t control love. The love that I have for you, I can’t control. I think something in me had to know that. And it’s why I kept you as my friend. It’s why I held out all this time. Why I insisted that I didn’t see you that way. But loving Dallas broke down the first barrier, and being with you broke down all the rest. When I held you in my arms the other night I realized there were no more barriers between kinds of love. I love you. I’m in love with you. When I quit holding back...it was so clear.”
“What made you fall in love with me?”
“There just came a point where I couldn’t not be in love with you anymore,” he said. “It was pointless to resist it.”
Her heart swelled up, everything inside of her feeling so full, so swollen with happiness that she thought it might burst inside of her, that she thought it might be too much. But she didn’t care. She’d spent her whole life having not quite enough. Too much was better. So much better.
“I got this place,” Bennett said. “For the next four days. Hoping that you’d want to spend them with me.”
“I do,” she said. “I really do. I promise you’re not forcing this on me.”
“Do you know why I wanted to do this?”
“No,” she said, feeling all choked up. “Why?”
“Because I want to take us away from real life. To get away from my family, even Dallas, for a few days. We don’t need to fit in my life. We just need to fit together. I wanted us away from all of that. My timing and everything. I believe in this. I believe in us. You are the longest, most important relationship I’ve ever had. I think it was love all along. But this is for you, all these days. Just for you. Whatever you want. Whatever you need from me, I want to be there for you. So for the next few days, it’s just you and me. This room, this bed. Nice breakfast. Maybe some walks. Some time on the beach. Whatever you want. I want to take time out of my life to be with you, to show you how much you matter. Enough to change me. Enough to rearrange things.”
“Bennett... You didn’t have to do this. Dallas...”
“Is fine. He’s with his uncles, his aunt and his grandparents. And he’s completely fine. You and I need to be together. Just us. Not forced together by emotional stuff happening back in Gold Valley. Not breaking dry spells. You and me. Because we want to be together.”
“I already know that I want to be with you,” she said.
“What do you want me to be, Kay? I want to be all that. Whatever you need. Your furniture mover. Your friend. Your lover. Your smile when you’re sad. Arms to hold you when you can’t stand up. Your hope when you can’t find any.”
“You are,” she said, swallowing hard. “You have always been the one who could be that for me. I was just too afraid to tell you it was what I wanted. But it is. It’s you, Bennett. I want you to be my everything.”
He kissed her, deep and long until neither of them could breathe. “Do we really need a walk on the beach? Or should we spend the weekend in bed?”
“Hey,” she said, pushing at his shoulder. “You promised me walks on the beach. I want walks on the beach.”
Bennett laughed and suddenly he mobilized, pushing her onto her back, grabbing hold of his cowboy hat and putting it on his head as he gripped her wrists and push them over her head, holding her down to the mattress, his weight over the top of her. “Are you sure about that?”
“Okay, now you’re making a case for this staying in the room business.”
“You’re my best friend,” he said. “The love of my life.”
“Mine too,” she said.
“We can do this. Just this. Sex and working together. Until you’re ready for more. I want marriage, Kaylee, I won’t lie to you. But I’m willing to wait until you’re ready for it too.”
“I’m ready,” she said, the words coming out a whisper.
“Thank God. My dad said I had to get down on one knee, but I think I like this position a lot better.”
“I’m not complaining,” she said, gasping as he rolled his hips forward, and then teased her with a kiss.
“I bought a ring and stuff too. But...”
She reached up, pressing her fingertips against his cheek. “That can wait.”
“Do you think we need to talk more?” he asked.
“I think we’ve spent the past seventeen years talking,” she said. “You say you love me. And I believe it. But why don’t you show me.”
“I think I’m going to take a lot of joy in showing you for the rest of our lives.”
She was never again going to spend a sad date she didn’t want to be on hoping she got a phone call from Bennett. Because finally, forever, she had Bennett.
Her friend. Her lover. Her everything.
He kissed her, and she kissed him back. She gloried in every erased boundary, every blurred line.
Kaylee Capshaw had been convinced she needed a new life. But that hadn’t been true at all. She’d had what she needed all along. She’d just needed to find the courage to embrace it.
The love she’d had all along.