WHEN CLEANUP DAY rolled around, all hands were on deck. Though, some looked a little bit more enthusiastic than others.
Dallas, specifically, did not look overly enthusiastic. He was wearing a T-shirt, jeans and a pair of borrowed boots that actually fit him, even though he was a few inches shorter than Bennett. He would probably be just as tall in the end, if not taller.
He was like a puppy that hadn’t grown into his feet.
And didn’t own work boots, apparently. Bennett would have to fix that. He probably needed to get the kid all new clothes.
Over the past few days they had managed to sort out the school situation. Dallas really wasn’t behind, and if he was willing to do some testing, he could start at the beginning of the year along with the other kids.
Dallas was quick to agree to that, since summer school hadn’t been something he was especially dying to put on his to-do list.
Although, as Dallas pointed out after they left Gold Valley High School, he didn’t exactly have a social life to cripple. And until he started school, he wouldn’t.
Dallas having a social life would be a whole other thing. Other worries.
Teenagers wanting to be in his house. In potentially large groups.
He wasn’t going to think about that now. How had his dad done this? How had he handled four kids by himself?
One was making Bennett insane and Dallas hadn’t even done anything wrong.
He was feeling more grateful than he could have imagined for a day of hard labor. He needed something to punish his body badly enough that he wouldn’t be able to think of anything but his own physical pain.
On some days, Bennett found Wyatt’s overbearing manner to be a pain in his ass, but now, with his older brother handing out orders and giving direction at lightning speed, he found himself grateful for it. Wyatt would have no trouble keeping everyone on track.
He had decided that digging post holes and stringing barbed wire on a new fence was the perfect activity for his nephew, and had sent Bennett and Grant right along with him.
Kaylee had been assigned landscape work with Jamie, and he had heard Jamie muttering the whole way about asshat older brothers.
Dallas, Grant and Bennett drove out to the north end of the property, across a few partially fenced fields to the new area for the cows. Wyatt wanted to have livestock on the ranch. Part of the appeal of Get Out of Dodge as a dude ranch was that it be a functioning ranch.
But he also knew that guests didn’t necessarily want animals grazing near their sleeping quarters. He was aiming for a controlled rustic experience.
So that meant designated pasture farther afield.
The land had been clear-cut in the center years ago, creating grazing space, and now the property was hemmed in by what looked like a wall of pine. Tree-covered mountains rose up behind the trees, barricading the property from the rest of the world.
After giving brief instructions on how to dig holes for the fence posts and string the wire between the posts, Grant and Bennett got Dallas set to work. They were each wearing heavy work gloves, wielding the barbed wire as carefully as possible.
“I bet this violates child labor laws,” Dallas pointed out.
“Then it’s a good thing Wyatt will probably pay you under the table,” Grant said, a ghost of a smile touching his brother’s lips.
“That’s criminal.”
“Didn’t you know?” Grant’s smile turned to a full-blown grin. “The Dodges are outlaws.”
“It’s true,” Bennett agreed.
“Seriously?” They were treated to a skeptical eyebrow from Dallas.
“Hell, yeah,” Bennett said. “Stagecoach robbers. Going way back. They terrorized the pony express and all of that.”
“Didn’t end well for some of them,” Grant said. “Obviously some of them survived or the line would have ended. But yeah, basically, they raised Cain all down the Oregon Trail. And camped out on the edges of all the little gold rush towns, taking what they could.”
“This ranch was probably bought with a sizable amount of stolen gold way back in the day,” Bennett said.
“No way,” Dallas said. “That’s actually cool.”
“We don’t rob stagecoaches now,” Bennett said. “To be clear.”
“I’ve never known anything about...my family or whatever,” Dallas said. “Not bad to find out they were Wild West outlaws.”
“We’re respectable now,” Bennett said.
“Mostly.” Grant paused. “Because there is Wyatt.”
“True,” Bennett agreed.
“Why isn’t he respectable?” Dallas asked.
“He’s a bull rider,” Grant said. “And bull riders are idiots.”
“Yes. And Wyatt is chief among them.”
“Bull riders and outlaws. And veterinarians. And...” He looked over at Grant.
“I’m a rancher now,” Grant said. “I used to work at the power company.”
“Oh,” Dallas said, frowning. “Interesting.”
“It’s not. I got married young.” The corner of Grant’s mouth lifted up on one side. “Had to get a good job. Health benefits and 401(k)s and stuff like that.”
“Where’s your wife now?”
“She’s dead,” Grant said, the words flat and bald.
The late spring air kicked up, pushing out the warmth of the sun, and Bennett thought it matched the mood perfectly. He was about to open his mouth to try to smooth things over when Dallas spoke up.
“I’m sorry.” And he really looked it.
“Don’t be,” Grant said. “It was an honest question. And I’m not used to meeting people who don’t know the ins and outs of all my business. Hazards of a small town.”
“I guess it would be.”
“You’ll learn quickly enough. You won’t be able to do anything without the good people of Gold Valley reporting back to your dad.”
Dallas and Bennett exchanged an uncomfortable look.
“But yeah,” Grant continued, “now that I’m not married I can take some chances. Now, I’m investing in this place.”
They spent the better part of the next hour explaining to Dallas exactly what the plans were for Get Out of Dodge. How they were going to run guest services there, the partnerships with the winery, tours, everything.
“So...Jamie is going to give trail rides?” Dallas asked, clearly trying not to sound as interested as he was.
“Yes. And for some guests she might even do endurance rides. Over fifty miles. Up in the mountains. It’s good stuff.”
“I’ve never ridden a horse before,” Dallas said.
Bennett frowned. “That’s going to change. I mean, if you want it to.”
“Hell,” Grant said, “Dodges learn how to ride before they learn how to walk. I’m not even exaggerating. I think my dad put me up on the back of a horse for the first time when I was, like, eight months old. With my mom, of course, not by myself.”
“We’ll teach you how to ride,” Bennett said. “Actually, Jamie will love that. We all love to ride, but it’s in Jamie’s blood. She’s a hell of a horsewoman.”
“And Wyatt just rides bulls?” Dallas asked.
“No. He rides horses too.”
“He probably stays on the back of the bulls longer,” Grant said drily.
Bennett chuckled, and Grant actually looked amused with himself, but they were interrupted by the sound of a clearing throat. They turned to see Wyatt standing there looking unamused. “Are you besmirching my horsemanship?”
“Your horsemanship besmirches itself,” Grant returned.
It was nice to see Grant smiling. Nice to see him participating in the back-and-forth. But then, they were coming out of winter. Grant didn’t do so well in winter. When the sun started to shine again, he always seemed a little bit more himself. At least, the way that Bennett could remember him being back before Lindsay’s death. Maybe back before he had started to love Lindsay. Because loving her had never been simple. Loving her, for Grant, had always meant contending with losing her.
“Don’t listen to those sons of bitches,” Wyatt said. “They’re jealous because I’m a badass.”
“Yeah, we’re really jealous,” Bennett said, keeping his face as serious as possible.
“How goes the fencing?” Wyatt asked.
“It’s going good,” Dallas said.
“Very good,” Bennett confirmed. “He’s a quick study.” He felt a small, unexpected surge of pride go through him as he said that. It was true. Dallas had done a great job keeping up with them, and he wasn’t used to this kind of physical labor. Still, he was doing well at it. And he wasn’t complaining.
“Great. Lunch is going to be in about an hour or so. That’s when Lindy and Beatrix are coming.”
“Great,” Bennett said.
“Sure,” Wyatt said. “Great, as long as it doesn’t turn into a brawl.”
“You and Lindy are going to have to keep it in your pants,” Grant said.
“That won’t be a problem. It will be her keeping her fist out of my face that’s the problem.”
Grant shrugged, but didn’t say anything else.
Wyatt left after that, and they continued to work until the lunch hour got closer. “I’m going to go wash up. See you down at the mess hall,” Grant said, leaving Dallas and himself alone at the fence.
“How are you liking the work so far?” Bennett asked.
“It’s work,” Dallas said.
“This is what we do. I know I’m a veterinarian, but this is the family business.”
“After robbing stagecoaches.”
“Yeah, but robbing stagecoaches wasn’t exactly a viable business long-term. In the end, even the Dodges were smart enough to realize that. Eventually.”
“So...am I here for the summer? I mean, how long is this going to last?”
“I told you,” Bennett said. “This is real. You’re staying with me.”
“Why haven’t you gotten a paternity test done yet?” Dallas asked, the anger in his words sending Bennett back on his heels.
“I’m going to get one.” Bennett crossed his arms over his chest. “We have to go do the family court thing and proving my paternity makes everything easiest. But from my point of view, I don’t really need one.”
“Right. Because if you don’t get one then you can still back out.” Dallas crossed his arms in an unconscious mimic of Bennett’s stance, his expression looking mutinous. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but it’s just that you have plausible deniability now.”
“I don’t want plausible deniability,” Bennett said, not sure how in the hell he had managed to walk into two conversations in the space of a couple of days that had landed his ass in such hot water.
Kaylee had been bristly with him ever since their confrontation at the clinic the other night about Michael, whose name he remembered now since she had yelled at him about it. And now, somehow, something that had started out as a good conversation had ended up something else entirely with Dallas.
“You’re wrong,” he said. “I’m not looking for an out. Hell, I’ll set one up tomorrow. If that’s what you need, then I’ll do it.”
“Tomorrow is Sunday.”
“And it’s a small damned town. I can probably arrange to have somebody come in on Sunday if I need to.”
“Don’t do that,” Dallas said, suddenly looking uncertain.
And then, Bennett had to wonder if Dallas was worried that Bennett might not be his father after all. He was never quite sure whether or not Dallas wanted to be with him. Never sure if he hated the small town he had landed himself in a week ago or not. But then Bennett kept coming back to the fact that Dallas had chosen to come to him. He had chosen to tell the social worker who his father might be. And he chose to stay now. Sure, his alternatives weren’t great, but nobody had tied him up and forced him to stay.
It was easy to forget that underneath all that bluster, all that teenage bravado, was the heart of a little boy who had been wounded and abandoned more times than Bennett cared to think about.
“I know you don’t have any reason to trust me. I know that nobody in your life has stuck by you. You’ve been exposed to some shady people. I’m not a saint, far from it. But believe me when I say I’m not doing you some great favor by keeping you with me. Sixteen years ago when your mother told me she was pregnant I was ready. I wasn’t ready, but I was, if that makes sense. I was ready to upend my life to take care of you. To quit school, to work at the mill. At the power company like Grant, because that’s what you do when you love somebody. You want to take care of them.”
“My mother?”
“No. You. I loved you before you were born. Right away. I was scared as hell, but I knew that I was willing to do anything for my kid. For the promise of that relationship. And the way I see it now, this isn’t any different. We don’t know each other. But all the possibilities are there. I don’t need to know you to know what I’m prepared to do. Anything. To give you the life that you deserve. It’s my responsibility because I’m your father. I’m sorry that nobody took responsibility for you when they should have at other times in your life. But it doesn’t mean that I won’t.”
Dallas looked past Bennett, his frown deepening, the scowl line between his brows mirroring the line Bennett had seen growing deeper on his own face over the past few days.
And Bennett realized right then that he had overlooked one crucial thing in that bit of rationalization he just gone through. Yes, he had loved Dallas before he had known him. Before he was born, before he had known if he was a son or a daughter. But Dallas hadn’t been wounded then. He hadn’t had fifteen years of being let down, time and time again. And now he did. It could never go back and be that exact thing it was all those years ago.
Because Dallas could never be that same kid he would have been. Couldn’t go back and be not scarred by the life that he had led.
Dammit. It was such a mess.
“Kaylee told me...” Bennett cleared his throat. “She told me that your mom left you alone? For days at a time?”
“You know what? I don’t want to talk about this. It doesn’t matter.”
“It does matter. And if everybody could stop getting mad at me about things that they claim don’t matter, that would be great. If you’re mad, they obviously matter.”
“What?”
“Never mind. But if you’re going to be angry, don’t tell me it doesn’t matter. I told you that I was going to be honest with you, and I am. But I want you to do the same, Dallas. I want you to be honest with me. About what makes you angry. About all the things you think I did wrong. About all the things I’m doing wrong now. Be angry, that’s fine, but don’t bullshit me. Don’t just try to protect yourself. We can do better than that, we can have better than that. I believe it. But we’ve got to get through this first.”
“We’ve got to get through this? This,” he said, waving his hand, “is my life. All the stuff you want me to get through, it’s all the things I know. Every last thing. You want me to just...not be who I am?”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“Maybe I don’t want to get over it,” Dallas continued. “Maybe I learned some things that I need to remember from it. You don’t get to just decide that I should feel different or be different. That’s not up to you. Yeah, maybe you loved me before I was born, when you thought I was going to be a precious baby. But that’s not what I am now. And I’m not going to be. I’m not going to be that kid that you imagined. Ever. It’s too late for that. So get the fuck over it.”
And then Dallas stormed away from him, heading off toward God knows where. And Bennett was left feeling like he had failed at everything that mattered.