“Dad! Look what Grandma got me, today,” Christian yelled as soon as he came barreling through the door.

“Look at that…someone must have been an awfully good boy today.”

He smiled, “I’m always a good boy. I’m going to go show Mommy.”

“Hey, honey.” My mom said as she kissed my cheek.

“Hey, Mom. How was he?” I asked, leaning over on the counter.

“Oh honey, he’s always an angel. You know that. He reminds me so much of you when you were his age.”

“He’s a good kid. You spoil him too much. I mean, Mom, that must have cost a small fortune.”

She slapped me on the shoulder, “Ow!” I yelped.

“Sebastian, he is my one and only grandchild, if I don’t spoil him, then who will? I can do what I like because I am the grandmother and my title says that I can. Now, I have to get going. Your father has a medical conference tonight and I need to go home and get ready. Give Julia my love.”

“Mmm hmm.”

She kissed me on the cheek, “You’re so handsome, you know that? Just like your father. I love you. Be good to my baby,” she said and headed out. I heard her car pull out of the driveway and turned my attention back to Christian.

“Dad! You want to help me build with these blocks?” he excitedly said.

“Of course, give me a few minutes, I just walked in before you did. Where’s Mommy?”

“Oh yeah…she’s in the office. She’s real busy, Dad. She told me to tell you to order us some food and to leave her alone.”              

I smiled down at him. She was using him. I knew this game. She never told Christian to tell me to leave her alone unless she was upset with me. I smiled and scratched Christian on the head as I walked toward the office.

“She’s gonna be mad,” he called.

I opened the door to her engaged in papers strung about the desk. She didn’t look up at me; she was damn stubborn when she wanted to be. I stood in front of the desk with my hands resting on the edge. She continued to ignore me, I could tell she was cracking. I saw the small smile form in the corner of her lips. She couldn’t stay mad at me if her life depended on it.

“Almost, Babygirl,” I coaxed, “That lasted almost a whole minute.”

“I hate you,” she smiled. I smiled, too.

“Come to me, Julia,” I beckoned.

“No, Sebby. I’m tired of you coming home so mean and unbearable. I haven’t been able to tell you anything without you snapping at me.”

“Come here,” I demanded. She did. I placed her between the desk and me and lifted her up to the edge, grabbing her chin to face me.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered to her lips. “It’s not you. I promise. It’s just work, and I’m sorry I have been snapping at you. Will you forgive me?”

“You haven’t touched me in over a week; it hurts and I miss you.”

Fuck. What the hell was wrong with me? This was my wife. My wife who I loved with all of my heart, I didn’t want to make her feel like that. I knew how much she needed affection from me. I had always made sure to give her that, even as kids. I had been neglecting her. All of this shit going through my head with Ysabelle. My thoughts belonged right here. Right here with my wife.

“I’ll touch you now,” I teased, running my hand up her leg.

“No. I have to get through this briefing. You need to go feed our son.”

“Can I touch you later?” I urged, kissing the side of her neck and then my way up her ear.

“Sebby, I hate to disappoint you, I can’t. We can do other things,” she offered. I knew what that meant…

I went back and hung out with our son while Julia finished working. I promised myself that I wouldn’t think of Ysabelle. Nevertheless, a few weeks later I found myself requesting her presence on Olivia’s birthday.

 

 

I had received the call from Madam, and as soon as she said Sebastian, I almost dropped the phone. Why was this man asking for me again…I didn’t get it? What the hell did he want from me?

I got dressed and paid extra attention to what I was wearing. I knew I was putting more care into my appearance than I had in the past, I couldn’t help it. I wanted to look good for him. I remembered he commented on my white gown and I didn’t even realize I was dressing myself in a white dress until I had it on.

It was form fitting all the way down past my knees; it had thick straps, and a square plunge line that showed lots of cleavage. I wore red peep-toe five inch stilettos.

I drove the whole way there with my music blaring again, trying to tune out my thoughts. I didn’t know what to expect. He said he was “happily married” I couldn’t fathom what this was and that confused the fuck out of me.

This had never happened to me with any clients before and I didn’t know how to handle it. My job was about sex and company, I was filling a certain void or expectation that they were looking for. I didn’t know what my expectation was with Sebastian and I didn’t like that.

I walked up to the door of the same hotel that I had walked in once before when I was meeting him. We even had the same room. I tugged at my dress and tried my best to compose myself.

My mind was racing with what would happen this time. Would we have sex? Would he want me to please him? Madam said it would be the same as the last, it’s not like it couldn’t change. That had happened several times before, like it made it easier on the client to purchase me for companionship and then his hand just casually graced my pussy, and we accidently had sex. Like it wasn’t on the agenda the entire time.

I shook my head and took another deep breath as I lightly tapped on the door with my knuckle. Fuck. I was having a hard time breathing again. Something was happening to me. Sebastian opened the door with the same warm smile and confused eyes that he always had when he was around me.

I noticed he was wearing jeans with a tight black shirt that accented his physique perfectly. I’d never seen him in anything other than suits before, he did casual damn well. Shit. Why did he have to be good looking? It would be so much easier if he weren’t.

I smiled and entered as he waved me in, stopping to place my hand on his chest. I came to the tips of my toes, greeting him with a small kiss on the corner of his lips.

“How are you, Mr. Vanwell?”

“Mr. Vanwell,” he laughed. “I thought we were passed that?” I laughed. “To answer your question, I’m utterly confused on how I find myself in this very same room with you again,” he honestly spoke as his hand delicately circled my wrist.

“How are you?” he asked quietly, looking directly into my eyes.

“Just peachy, Sebastian,” I responded. I wanted nothing more than to pour myself a drink from the chilled wine in the corner. I knew I couldn’t, as it wasn’t polite; I had to wait for him to offer. I wanted to respond that I was just as confused as he was if not more, I refrained from that one too.

“Would you like a glass of wine?” he offered.

Thank God.

“Yes, I would love one,” I replied, sitting on the corner of the couch crossing my legs with a captivating smile.

 

 

Shit. What the hell was I doing here? I couldn’t take it. I wanted to run my hand up her crossed legs. I wanted to feel her soft lips against mine again.

I handed her a glass and our fingers grazed each other. We both caught each other’s eyes as I sat down next to her. Probably too close, but it would seem rude if I moved myself away from her, at least that’s what I told myself. My arm conspicuously moved to the back of the sofa. Damn, did she smell good.

She always seemed so put together, it made me wonder if she ever got nervous. My vision caught her cleavage, I noticed she had such full breasts for being a tiny thing.

“Do you ever wear anything other than heels? I think every time I have seen you you’re in these heels that look painful,” I chimed in, trying to break the ice.

“I’ve had a lot of practice. It hurt at first, I gravitate more toward heels now, believe or not. It’s almost like I feel naked without them,” she replied, making me nervously chuckle.

“You’re adorable when you blush like that, Sebastian. Am I embarrassing you? You weren’t this shy the last time I saw you.” She looked at me and seemed to be amused.

“I don’t know what that was but seeing you on the arm of that man, did something to me. It was hard for me to see you like that.”

“Like what?”

“Selling yourself short,” I stammered and she immediately raised her eyebrows.

“What do you think I’m doing now, Sebastian?”

“It doesn’t seem that way with us.”

“Really? How does it seem?”

“It just seems different. I would never hurt you. I wouldn’t use you.”

“And you believe that’s what they are doing? Using me?”

“I can’t see it any other way, other than them using you. You’re beautiful, you could be doing so much more with your life than this.”

“Is this where you say you’re going to save me, Sebastian? Is that why you keep requesting my presence, because you’re going to magically make me become something I’m not? How are you so sure that I’m not the one that’s using them? You don’t even know me. Just because we’ve had a few conversations, doesn’t make you an expert on who I am and what I want,” she responded, angry and hurt. I was offending her; I was fucking this whole thing up. She was a second away from throwing her drink in my face.

“Listen…I understand that everyone makes life choices. My intention here wasn’t to offend you. I just think that you have much more potential than you are currently utilizing,” I offered.

“And what makes you think that I’m not already reaching that potential? I’m really good at what I do, Sebastian. Maybe you’d like to try…” she teased and placed her hand on my thigh. I sought out her hand and placed mine on top.

“Let’s start over, all right? I didn’t call you here to discuss your life choices. A very dear friend of mine would have been another year older today. I sought you out for my own comfort, like you being here with me would make this day easier to bear.”

“Is that the woman I remind you of?”

“Mmm hmm…you look so much like her. I can’t believe it. Your personalities are as different as night and day though,” I said, laughing. “Your physical appearance is damn near identical.”

“You said she would have…does this mean she is no longer here?”

“No, she isn’t.”

“I’m sorry, Sebastian,” she whispered as she squeezed my hand in support.

We continued our conversation for another two hours. Although, the evening had started off rocky our banter flowed easily. I couldn’t believe how easy she was to talk to.

We didn’t get any more personal, just small talk, my business, the new restaurant downtown, the new clubs that were opening, and of course, Christian. She seemed genuinely enthralled by my silly little stories about my son.

We drank almost the entire bottle of Chardonnay and I’m sure that had a lot to do with our laughter and conversation.

I was telling her about Christian and his dog, how he had dressed him up as a robber one afternoon, in order to play cops and robbers. How he often tried to play hide and seek with him and he would sit until he heard Christian say ready and he would start running. We both laughed really hard at that one.

“I’m not sure which one loves the other more. If that boy is home, you can bet his dog isn’t far behind,” I smiled, looking over at her. She was gazing at me with a look that I couldn’t quite read.

There was emotion behind her eyes. It was the first time I had sincerely seen her guard come down. I knew the wine had something to do with it and I didn’t care. It felt amazing to be able to be part of the reason that she let it come down. Even if it was just for a moment, I got to see it.

Her head leaned to the side to lay on my arm. I pulled her hair out of her face to see her eyes. They did it to me every time. My hand caressed the side of her cheek and I fucking knew I was sending the wrong message, Goddamn it, I couldn’t help myself. Her face moved and her soft lips caught my fingers. She lightly kissed each and every finger.

“You have the most amazing lips, Ysa. Do you know that?” I whispered.

I grabbed the back of her neck and brought her over to me, she came effortlessly.

I can’t explain that kiss, or why I even initiated it. I was being pulled; she was literally pulling me toward her. Her lips were just as I remembered, or even fucking better. I sought out her tongue before she had the opportunity to find mine. She moaned in my mouth, and twisted on the sofa to straddle my lap.

Both my hands found the sides of her face and her hands found my hair. She pulled at my hair like she had wanted to do it since the first night she had met me. She started circling her hips on my cock and I could sense she was aroused. My hands left her face and moved down her body. Fuck if she didn’t feel unbelievable. Her dress had hiked up and her thighs were exposed, her skin was soft and silky-smooth.

I needed to stop…

I wanted to stop…

That’s a fucking lie…

I wanted nothing more than to keep going. I wanted to be with her. I didn’t care about the repercussions. I lived in that moment. I let it take over me.

I reached for the hem of her dress and lifted it up. She pulled away from me allowing me to take it off her and toss it on the ground. Our lips went back to devouring each other.

 

 

Jesus Christ…what the hell was I doing? This man didn’t belong here, he had a wife and a son that he fucking adored and even I could see that. I had been with married men before; this man was no different, except I couldn’t forget how we just spent the last two hours discussing his life.

I had never been this fucking confused in all of my life. I hated the fact that this man was doing something to me, he was making me feel, think, and hope…I don’t even know what it was I was hoping for, however, it was there.

I didn’t do emotions and up until these last few weeks, I didn’t even know if I was capable of them. I had no clue where the fuck they were even coming from, just that they were there. It was as if he was pulling a piece within my heart, a long forgotten chamber, that I didn’t even know existed.

I couldn’t feel, I never wanted to. I needed to get back on balance, somewhere along the way I fucking lost control of myself, and it had to stop.

Goddamn did he feel good.

His lips, his tongue, and his hands.

He was soft but demanding, controlling but passionate, and fucking intense.

“Sebastian,” I erratically breathed in confusing, panting breaths on his lips.

“What, Ysa…?” he replied with the same sensual nuance to his words. Damn it. Why did he just have to say my name like that? Why did I even care? Men call me baby…honey…lover…that’s what they say. Why did him calling me Ysa mean something?  

“I want you,” I managed to speak. My thoughts, my words, they all seemed to be intertwined with one another. I was never at a loss of words; this is what I was good at, playing the fucking part. Why did I not know how to react to this man?

“I want you, too. I want you more than I have ever wanted any other woman in my life. You consume me,” he confessed. I consume him? Fuck, if he didn’t confuse me even more.

I tugged at the hem of his shirt and he helped me slide it over his head. My eyes left his and I took his glorious body in while his eyes examined my own body. He stared intently, as if I was everything he ever needed. I wish I could describe the intensity that I found myself feeling in his gaze, only I know I couldn’t even do it justice. I couldn’t even put it into words if I wanted to, it wasn’t possible.

Whatever was going on between us had overpowered me. I had let it take control. For the first time in my life, I let myself feel, and fuck me…I didn’t want it to stop. I threw caution to the wind and just let it happen.

I unsnapped my bra, letting the strap fall to expose my breasts to him.

“Touch me, Sebastian,” I whimpered.

I grabbed his warm hands and he cupped my breasts, bringing his lips to my nipple, sucking and teasing as my head fell back in a satisfying moan. I rode into his erection and he brought one finger to the silk between my legs. I was sure he could feel the wetness through the thin material.

I unbuttoned his jeans, releasing his hardness in my hand, he was big and thick. His eyes once again met mine as I stroked him. He slid my panties to the side and ran his fingers through my wetness. I moaned a satisfying breathy cry that was also foreign. It wasn’t my normal fuck me moan, it was a moan of desperation, of desire, and need.

I slid him inside of me, allowing that unfamiliar sound to take over again. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t just fuck him and not feel everything that was happening. He grabbed the sides of my face and brought my lips back to him, he wanted to keep kissing me. He wanted intimacy.

The men I was usually with, weren’t like this. I felt as if I was a puppet and he was pulling the strings. He grabbed hold of my hips and rocked me back and forth on his cock, faster and faster. I could hear him groaning and breathing erratically. He kept looking in my eyes, all over my face.

Not once did he look down to watch me fuck his dick, and that’s what men did, they loved to watch the act. They thrived on watching, though Sebastian didn’t; he wanted to see me. I couldn’t take it anymore and leaned in to kiss him. I needed the distraction, our tongues entwined as we both delighted in finding each other.

 

 

I reached for the hem of her dress and lifted it up. She pulled away from me allowing me to take it off her and toss it on the floor. Our lips went back to devouring each other.

“Sebastian,” God it was the sexiest thing I had ever heard.

“What, Ysa…?” I replied, my own voice screaming desperation.

“I want you,” she breathed out between kissing me.

“I want you, too. I want you more than I have ever wanted any other woman in my life. You consume me,” I coaxed. I didn’t know why I said that, it was what I was feeling in that moment. She deserved to know that this wasn’t just a fuck for me. I wasn’t like every other man she had been with. I wanted her to feel different with me; I wanted this to be distinctive.

I knew what I was doing was so wrong, but damn did it feel so fucking right.

She reached for the hem of my shirt and pulled it off me. Her eyes took me in and mine did hers. She was wearing a white matching bra and panty set, and fuck if she didn’t look like a Goddess. Her skin was tan yet I could still see that it was rosy red from arousal; her lips were even plumper, and her eyes were glazed over.

She reached for the back of her bra and one strap fell and then the other. She tossed it to the side and grabbed my hands to her breasts.

“Touch me,” she goaded.

I fondled her breasts and brought my mouth to her nipple. Her head fell back as she shamelessly circled my cock even more. My fingers found her clit through her panties and she was soaking wet.

She unbuckled my pants and brought out my hard cock. I watched as she stroked it up and down. She was a vixen, she was confident, she knew what she was doing and how to do it, and it just enticed me even more. 

I felt her wetness through her panties and she moaned even louder. I slipped them to the side and touched her folds, all wet and soft.

She slid down my shaft like I was made for her.

She was fucking tight, warm, and felt like heaven.

Our mouths found each other again, nipping, sucking, and overwhelming one another.

She rode my cock slow at first getting used to me. After a few minutes, her movements became faster and more urgent. She swayed her hips forward, then backward, up and then down. I grabbed hold of her hips and looked deep into her eyes. Her eyes said everything to me. She held all her secrets and told all her truths through those eyes.

I wanted to know everything. She met my gaze until she couldn’t anymore and brought her lips back to mine. We moaned in each other’s mouths. I wanted to see her again. I wanted to watch her come undone.

“You like that, Ysa? That feel good? Huh? Tell me, tell me it feels good,” I huskily urged.

“Yes…Sebastian. You feel fucking amazing. God, you feel fucking huge. Your cock is hitting right against my g-spot. I’m going to come.”

She rode me harder and faster until I bit her bottom lip and felt her legs quiver and her pussy pulsed all the way down my shaft. It felt warm and wet and I wasn’t far behind her with my own release.

We both panted into each other’s mouths.

I knew then and there that this one time was never going to be enough for me.

 

The car ride home was pure fucking torture. I was grateful that Julia had been out of town for the night and that Christian was with my mother, because I couldn’t face either of them. I got caught up in the moment, I swear I wished I could blame the wine for my actions, but there was no way, I just couldn’t.

I had wanted to be with Ysabelle. As fucked up as it was, I craved her. I couldn’t blame anyone for what I did, and the decisions I made, except for myself. I was a selfish son of a bitch. I couldn’t say no to her and it’s not even like she had initiated it, I had.

I threw away all the trust and respect for my marriage in a matter of seconds. The impulses of my decisions were jaded. I had no idea what fucking consequences were going to happen because of this.

Would I be able to look at Julia the same way ever again? Could she tell I had been unfaithful to her? I betrayed my marriage, my wife, and my son. I said fuck it to my vows. I didn’t want to be this man. Julia didn’t deserve this man.

I drove around for hours that night. I couldn’t face going home just yet. I wish I was man enough to tell Julia what I had just done, I wasn’t. I didn’t want to lose her and I knew I would.

The really fucked up part was that I didn’t want to lose Ysabelle either. I had known this woman for two months and I couldn’t imagine not seeing her again. I never thought I would be capable of lying. When we were kids, Julia and I were never together. I didn’t ever feel guilt over what Olivia and I were doing.

The God’s honest truth is I didn’t feel guilt over being with Ysabelle either, there was no remorse, and it made me feel more like an asshole. I felt saddened and upset to hurt Julia, that’s what I felt. It was the familiar feeling of how I felt when I was with Olivia. I wanted to regret being with Ysabelle, yet it just wasn’t fucking there. And that’s why I couldn’t go home. The truth was eating me alive.

 

Three weeks had passed and life had returned to a state of normalcy in some ways. I hadn’t seen or spoken to Ysabelle since that night. My family life hadn’t seen any speed bumps; and I learned that I was a good liar.

I was due to deliver a yacht to a returning client in the Virgin Islands. Julia was trying to get away from work to have a romantic getaway, but the dates didn’t match up and I was bon voyage by myself.

My fingers had been tapping on my desk for the last thirty minutes and I swear I was trying to ignore the thoughts that were occurring in my head. I had been thinking about it since the second I found out that I would be going away for a few days.

I tried to continue on. My impulses won out and I found myself dialing Madam’s number.

“Madam’s Residence.” said the same familiar voice I had heard twice before.

“Yes, Madam please, this is Sebastian Vanwell.”

“Please hold.” It took all about ten seconds for her to answer the phone, I know because I counted.

“Sebastian, darling, what a nice surprise. How are you?”

“I’m great, thanks for asking. How about yourself?”

“Lovely, I’m actually having lunch with our beautiful Ysabelle as we speak.”

Fuck, “Oh…really. Um…let me…” I hesitated.

“Don’t be silly. I always have time for you. Now what can I help you with?”

“Right…it’s just, I umm…have this thing,” I stuttered.

“Sebastian, relax. Ysabelle is absolutely glowing right now. Seems like you have made quite an impression on my girl, Mr. Vanwell,” she stated, making me uncomfortable by addressing her as property.

“She’s made quite an impression on me. That’s why I’m calling. You see…I have this yacht delivery I have to make to the Virgin Islands and I wanted the company of Ysabelle for the duration of that time.”

“Hmm…that sounds like quite a trip. I’m assuming you’re trying to mix a little business with pleasure, seeing as you haven’t thus far?”

“Wait…what?” Did Ysabelle not tell her? I hadn’t even checked my bank statement to see how much was withdrawn. It had totally slipped my mind.

“Please, I know you enjoy your little chats with my Ysabelle, I’m to assume that this will include more than companionship?” Wow…she hadn’t told her. What the fuck did that even mean? That definitely threw me for a loop.

“Umm…you are assuming correctly. I mean-”

“Sebastian, I am in the business of making people happy. Let me remind you that I’m not here to judge. My Ysabelle was made for you. I know what effect she has on men, you’re not the first and you won’t be the last,” she subtly implied; if I told this woman to go fuck herself I knew I wouldn’t be able to see Ysabelle. I had to play nice, it definitely bothered me that she used her. I couldn’t understand how Ysabelle didn’t see that.

“Mmm hmm,” was all I could reply.

“When is this little rendezvous scheduled for?”

“A week from Thursday, we will set sail at 9 a.m. and should be getting back Sunday evening. I will provide the air fare for the return.”

“It just so happens that Ysabelle is free for those dates. You know that the expenses will change?”

“I’m aware. How much?” Now that felt like a punch to the stomach. I hated knowing that I was paying for this, she deserved so much more than this fucking life.

“Well this is more than an overnight request. It’s going to be costly, I would say somewhere around $80,000.”

“Madam!” I heard Ysabelle shout from afar.

“Excuse me, Sebastian,” she said, putting me on hold so that I couldn’t hear the conversation. I was on hold for a while, I was about to hang up and call back when I heard the line click over.

“Well, Mr. Vanwell…it seems as though Ysabelle is feeling generous today. She will do it for $40,000,” she stated through gritted teeth.

“Done,” I quickly replied, the truth was I would have paid eighty.

“I’ll have the money deposited this evening. Have a wonderful time.” She abruptly hung up.

I took a deep breath and sealed my fate.