Over a week and a half flew by and Sam never did write or call Junior. As she carried her bag off the plane and stepped into the rapidly growing crowd in the airport, her sense of guilt rose. She wondered several times during the flight why she never let him know she was arriving. Or why she didn’t call, text, or even answer his email. Part of her knew she wanted to surprise him, but another part knew there was more to it than that. She still had a few days before she needed to meet with her old landlord, but she chose to arrive early. She was still asking herself why.
Hailing a cab, she wondered how she would approach the subject of moving with Junior. She knew when that came up, the topic of feelings would as well. She thought about how he would react to seeing her standing at his door when he opened it. She wondered if his expression would be one of joy or confusion or both. She thought about how she would explain herself to him about her sudden arrival and why. She had no doubt that it would be an interesting evening.
She had hoped the weather would be better. The temperature was fine, but the rain brought a slight darkness with it. It was dampening her mood and causing her sense of excitement to dwindle. She hoped it wasn’t some sort of sign for the rest of the day.
On the way to Junior’s apartment, Sam realized she didn’t think about one very important detail. What if he wasn’t home? What if he had plans and wouldn’t be home for days? What if he was working and she was outside his door for hours? She immediately began mentally kicking herself for not thinking about every factor. Then again, she also knew everything was part of God’s plan. It was God who told her to move back to Connecticut to begin with. She had no doubt about that, but that didn’t mean He meant for her to show up unannounced.
Taking a deep breath and letting out a loud sigh, she shook her head and asked God to help her with what ever happened. The cab stopped in front of Junior’s apartment building and Sam’s heart began fluttering as she stared at it.
“This is the place you want to be, ain’t it ma’am?” the cab driver asked.
Caught off guard she turned from the window and answered, “Yes. Sorry, I was lost in thought. This is the right place, thank you.”
She handed the driver her fare and opened the door to get out. The feelings that swarmed her were of dread and happiness combined. She dismissed the negative feelings that were trying to overwhelm her. She knew those were fear of Junior’s reaction. She didn’t think that was reason enough to be worried so she handed it over to God.
With her two suitcases she stepped onto the sidewalk and ran toward the stairs and out of the rain. That short distance felt like a mile by the time she stood in front of Junior’s door. With her luggage at her feet she raised her hand to knock on his door, but hesitated. She berated herself for being ridiculous and pausing. Taking a step back she leaned against the railing and stared at the door. She folded her arms and closed her eyes and did the one thing she knew would help her. That would give her the strength she needed. She prayed.
“God, I don’t know what is wrong with me. What has gotten into me, but for some reason I’m scared. I know I don’t have any reason to fear Junior, but I don’t know what he will think or how he will react when he opens the door. Please give me Your strength, Lord. I truly need You right now. You brought me here and I know this is right so please remove my doubts and fear. In Your name I pray, amen.”
With greater determination Sam stepped back in front of Junior’s door and firmly knocked. She had made up her mind on what she knew God wanted her to do and she wasn’t going to back down.
After rapping her knuckles on the door five times she drew in a deep breath and wrapped her arms around herself, waiting. She didn’t hear anything. She figured he could be in the back room and not have heard her, and patiently repeated her firm knocking on the thick metal door. Instead of stepping back she remained standing in place. Seconds ticked by and she began to get the feeling one of her earlier premonitions may be true. He wasn’t home. She knew he had nothing tying him down and it was hard to say where he could be and what he could be doing.
“Sam, sometimes you truly amaze yourself by not thinking things all the way through,” she mumbled to herself and leaned against the brick wall. She looked at the time on her cell phone and thought about calling him. She decided not to because she wanted to surprise him. Instead she sat on the steps to wait it out. It was quite possible he could be at the gym and would be back shortly.
During the next two hours, she had the pleasure of meeting several different types of people as they walked past her giving her inquisitive looks. None of them knew where he was, of course. One of the people she met was his next-door neighbor, as well as her Pomeranian. The last time Sam was there his neighbor was a young single mother with a five-year old daughter. The lady with the dog was nice enough. She let Sam scratch her cute dog behind its ears as she asked why Sam was waiting on the steps. After she and her dog shuffled away Sam gave up on seeing Junior any time soon. She dialed the local cab service and asked them to take her to a hotel.
“This was a mistake,” she scolded herself as she waited an extra fifteen minutes. She didn’t think it was a mistake to be there, but it may have been to arrive without Junior knowing first.
***
Junior
Junior looked at his gas gauge and realized he would need to stop soon if he didn’t want to walk to a gas station with a container as he left his truck parked on the side of the interstate. He had taken a week off from work to get away for a while. A much-needed break from everything. He hadn’t heard back from Sam and he decided he wasn’t going to press the issue or smother her with messages.
After driving along Interstates 84 and 495 for almost three hours he was getting excited about relaxing at Cape Cod for a week. He looked with great anticipation toward surf fishing and wading in the cold salt water. He hadn’t taken time for himself in a long time and knew he deserved it. He would rather have Sam with him, but since he had gotten no response he decided he needed time away to think and clear his head.
With his windows rolled down the cool air filled the truck and filled him with an unusual sense of freedom. Wearing a plain red pullover shirt, a pair of khaki shorts, a New York Yankees baseball cap and flip flops, he was more than ready.
He pulled into a gas station with a little over an hour to go before he would get to Cape Cod. When he stepped out of his truck the sun gently lay across his face and he grinned. He peered up through his Ray Ban sunglasses and appreciated the clearing blue sky. When he left his apartment earlier it was raining, so he was thrilled the clouds were disappearing. He had checked the weather report for the next few days at the beach and the weatherman said it was going to be a gorgeous week. He couldn’t wait.
He paid for a cold Pepsi and a tank full of gas and walked back to his truck. As the gas flowed into the tank his thoughts wandered. He thought about how Sam was doing and what she would think if she was with him on the way to the beach. Would she be happy to be able to get away for a week and enjoy the sand, ocean, and time alone with him? He shook his head and tried to not fantasize. It only caused feelings that weren’t pleasant.
The gas pump handle clicked into place telling him his truck was full and he placed the handle back into its cradle. With his Pepsi, he sat behind the steering wheel and cranked the engine. Before he drove away from the pump and back onto the interstate he looked through some of his CDs. He needed music, something that would help him forget for the rest of the drive. Some hard beats and fast guitar riffs to get the adrenaline pumping through his veins as his fingers danced on the steering wheel. When he came across the perfect CD he grinned to himself and immediately slid it into the player on the dashboard. Seconds later, “That Smell” began blaring from the speakers and when he pulled out onto the interstate he sang along with Lynyrd Skynyrd, not caring how bad he sounded. It was his vacation and he was going to have a great time no matter what happened.