Sam
Marion stayed beside Sam for all the days that followed. If Sam wasn’t attacked by painful grief, she was filled with anger. There were times when both controlled her and it saddened Marion to her core. Many times through the week, Marion had a hand on Sam’s shoulder, or held her hand, praying with all her might. She would ask God to comfort her and give her strength and not allow the devil to win the battle.
A thousand tears flowed from Sam’s eyes. A thousand memories flowed with them as she thought about her life with Chris. After late nights and long days Sam finally began to pull from the darkness trying to hold her down. She hadn’t called a soul or answered her phone all week. When she looked at it Friday night, she saw she had missed several calls and texts from Junior and one from Clara. She had no intention of talking to Junior, but hearing the voice of her friend from church was probably what she needed.
She listened to the voicemail from Clara. She called to see if Sam would be able to make it Saturday night. Sam had forgotten all about it. She wasn’t sure she should call; since it was getting dark earlier she felt as if it may be too late, but it was only eight-thirty and she needed to hear a friendly voice. As she lay on the couch and waited she realized how exhausted she was.
“Hello,” Clara’s voice sang to Sam’s lonely ears.
“Hey, it’s Sam.”
“Oh, hi Sam. How you doing? I was wondering if you got my message.”
“I did, just now. Sorry that I didn’t call earlier. I’ve been out of sorts all week.”
“I’m sorry. Is there anything I can do? I have two very good ears and I’m a great listener.”
Sighing, Sam truly wanted to talk. She didn’t think she could go another night without getting everything out. She had been praying, so maybe this was God’s answer to her pleas.
“You sure you have time? It’s kind of deep.”
“I’ll tell you what. I am in the middle of making about seven or eight pies and I will be up for hours. Why don’t you drive over and we can talk over some coffee or tea? I promise it’s perfectly fine. Besides, I can use the company. Bill and the kids are in the living room playing on the PlayStation and have forgotten all about me.”
Laughing for the first time in days, Sam responded, “Well, if you are sure?”
“I’m one hundred percent sure. Come on over.”
Clara told Sam how to get to their house, and Sam was pleased to know she was only a few miles away. She looked in a mirror and decided she didn’t look quite as horrible as she had been feeling. She put on a baseball cap to hide her disheveled hair, tied her shoes, and walked out the door, already feeling slightly better. On her way over to Clara’s she made sure to give thanks to Jesus for allowing it to happen.
When she pulled her car into Clara’s driveway she was looking at a home that greatly resembled the one she grew up in. For a moment, she was taken back in time as she stared at it. It wasn’t a large home, but had a small front porch with a single window on both sides of the front door. The floor above it had tiny shelves built directly outside of the windows for flowers. Even though the darkness lay heavy, the paint shined bright enough for her to tell that it was yellow. She was anxious to go inside and see what that would show her. If it was the same as the one she knew as a child she would most likely feel she was in the Twilight Zone.
She knocked on the door, and could hear the children laughing and Bill not being quite as joyous about something. She remembered Clara stating they were playing games. She grinned when she thought Bill was likely losing against them. Seconds later Clara answered the door with a smile and a hug that made Sam feel warm inside.
They walked through the living room, careful not to step on any legs and feet on their way. Sam noticed the game was a military one of some sort, but she hadn’t a clue as to which one. She was never into video games so she didn’t know what was available or how to play them. Bill spoke to her for a second, but was obviously caught up in his play time with the kids. She grinned and thought nothing of it. The one thing she was very happy about, in a comforting sort of way, was that the inside of the house was in no way similar to her childhood home. She didn’t know why that made her feel better, but it did.
She could smell different fragrances when she walked into her friend’s house and when they arrived in the small kitchen she saw the counters and table were covered with the beginnings of a ton of pies. Flour was spilled on the table. Vanilla extract and sugar were set to the side and at least ten aluminum pie trays were scattered about.
Setting her purse and jacket on one of the chairs, Sam said, “Looks like you have your hands full here.”
Laughing and placing her hands on her ample hips, Clara voiced, “Well, I thought I was making about seven, but it turned out to be ten. But, that’s okay. I’m very sure none of them will go to waste. Coffee?”
“Yes, please, and thank you.”
Clara poured them both a steaming cup and set them on the table. She moved some of the pie trays to the counter and sat with Sam. Sam got the feeling she was looking into the eyes of more than just a Christian woman, but a compassionate and wise one as well.
“I’m all ears whenever you are ready. Like I said I’ll be up for hours finishing these pies, so take your time.”
Sam lowered her gaze to her hands. Her fingers were wrapped around her warm cup and she watched the thin steam float into the air. She could relate to the steam. In a sense, she felt she was floating away and would disappear with it if she wasn’t careful.
“I’m not sure where to even begin, to be honest.”
Clara stood and spoke as she placed four of the pies in the oven, “Sorry, I had to let it heat up, but you begin when you are ready and where you are most comfortable.”
Sam watched her friend and smiled at the apron she was wearing. It was cute and made her think of her grandmother. Clara wasn’t anywhere near her grandmother’s age, but the apron looked like one she would have worn in the kitchen. She kept silent until Clara was finished with what she was doing and was sitting across from her again. While she waited, she enjoyed the laughter and mumbling from the other room. She knew the mumbling came from Bill.
“I know there’s a lot of my story that you don’t know, so I guess I’ll start at the beginning.”
Sipping from her cup Clara’s eyes held understanding. At least that was what Sam saw.
“Okay, wherever you want to begin. I’m not going anywhere and the kids have Bill hostage for a while I think.”
Sam grinned and began with her story. She knew she would leave some things out, but she didn’t want to talk into the early hours of the morning.
Sam started with telling her about going through Chris’s things once she got the courage to do so. She told her how she was confused and frightened about the money and where it had come from. With the help of her friends Tonya and Junior, she managed to move forward in her life, get the money, and not worry as much about it. She included all the details of Junior professing his feelings for her and how over time she was beginning to feel the same for him, but was extremely stubborn through it all.
She told Clara about moving to Florida and living there for a while, and how the money Chris left her and the insurance money allowed her to be more than comfortable.
“Over time,” Sam mentioned, “I kept feeling God telling me something but again, I was very stubborn. I missed Junior badly, especially after my best friend Tonya died from cancer.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that.”
“Thank you. Well, not too long ago I finally realized I had deeper feelings for Junior than I thought. It was tearing me up inside because I had convinced myself that I could never give my heart away again. God told me otherwise.”
“Honey, God wants us all to love and be loved while we are here on Earth. He doesn’t want us to be alone.”
Sam nodded and continued. “I know, and He told me one day on the beach what He wanted me to do. He gave me a vision of sorts and it was so powerful and detailed I couldn’t deny it. It also comforted me and gave me strength.”
“God is such a wonderful and loving God.”
Smiling, Sam agreed, “Yes, He is.”
She continued and told Clara about her decision to move back to Torrington, all the details for surprising Junior, it not going as planned. She said everything worked out for the best and at first things between them were incredible. Then she got to the hard part. When she told Clara what Junior told her about Chris’s money, she stuttered and had a hard time finishing.
“Take your time. There’s no rush,” she told Sam as she reached across and placed a hand on her arm. “God is here. I can feel him right here with us.”
Sam could feel His presence, too. Her fear lifted and she wiped her eyes.
“When Junior told me that Chris had gotten the million dollars from selling drugs I flipped out. I didn’t give him the chance to finish anything else. I screamed at him and threw him out of my house. That wasn’t like me, Clara. I’ve never behaved that way before. All week I have struggled with depression and fear and anger. Now I feel like I have thrown away something and someone God wants me to be with. How do I deal with this, Clara? How do I get past the facts that the man I loved and married was into selling drugs and that Junior hid it from me?”
Her tears slowly eased their way out again but Sam managed to keep herself under some control. With trembling fingers, she wiped her eyes again and blew her nose on a paper towel.
“Of course, I can’t possibly relate to what you are struggling with. I haven’t been through anything like that. God has blessed Bill and I in many ways. What I can tell you, though, is you need to give that young man a chance to finish telling you what happened. You need to pray hard about this and have faith that God has control. God will handle it all, but you must give it to Him and trust Him. You need to cling to your faith and follow God’s will, not yours.”
Sam knew what she was being told was right. In the depths of her heart she knew every word Clara said was the truth. God would never misguide her. The devil on the other hand would do whatever he could to cause confusion in her mind and pain in her soul. That’s what had been happening and she had to put a stop to it. She reached for Clara’s hand again and clasped it tightly.
“Thank you. You have no idea how much you helped me by telling me straight out and being blunt with me. I needed to hear that.”
“You’re very welcome. Now, what will you do?”
“Tonight? Probably nothing. I mean, I’ll go home and take a much-needed bubble bath and meditate. I haven’t done that in a while. Tonight, I need to get as close to God as I can. Tomorrow is a new day so I’ll see what happens then.”
“I have two questions for you.”
“Okay.”
“One, will you talk to your friend? And two, are you coming to Bible study tomorrow?”
Smiling, Sam answered, “Yes, I think I need Bible study and time with some new friends. As far as talking to Junior, I know I need to. I will pray about it and listen to what God tells me. I will do whatever He says.”
“Good, I’m happy to hear that.”
Sam stayed another hour with Clara. She asked why she was making so many pies and was told the church was having a bake sale and that they do a couple of them every year. She stepped into the living room one more time to see how Bill was making out with the kids. From what she could tell he wasn’t managing any better than when she arrived. She laughed and shook her head and stepped back in the kitchen.
Clara showed her a few things about making pies. Sam told her she had been to school and was a certified chef, making Clara beam with pride for her. They talked about her plans for the building she bought and Clara voiced an interest in helping her out once she got it open. The conversation drifted toward some of Clara’s history and Sam very much enjoyed her time there. When she went home she felt more at ease about everything. She knew what she had to do and she intended on doing whatever God said.