CIRCE
Yesterday was just another day at the park. Gruelling physio regime, Mom visiting, Crane hitting on her mercilessly, eating all the crap food shoved at me, sucking back my pills, and sleeping. Yep. Fun, I tell ya.
Dr. Callie popped in a short while ago with news. Tomorrow morning, I’m going on a field trip. One of the Crown’s wants to see me. Yes, I’m glad for the distraction, but I’m also scared. And glad. So glad. No, I’m ecstatic.
She told me to be ready at nine and not to look like I’ve have been for the past few weeks. She muttered something about how my appearance could earn me a recurring role as a zombie on The Walking Dead. Bitch. Yes, she’s sweet, but honestly, she can pull a high grade ‘dick move’ better than most. So, with the assistance of my mom this morning, I showered, dressed nicer—no house coat or green unbuttoned hospital shift—combed out my hair and added a touch of makeup. It made me feel better, and closer to taking on the world than I have in weeks.
Looking at the clock, it’s almost nine. Now, I’m scared.
“Mind if I help?” my mother asks.
“Thanks.” Sitting in the wheelchair, waiting near the door for the doctor to return, my mother’s smile is infectious. She knows I’m excited to find out the truth.
“You ready for today, Circe?”
Taking a deep breath, it catches in my chest, but it’s better than it’s been. The training has helped, and the opportunity to see Wyatt or Marca is pushing me forward gleefully. “More than I could ever imagine. I’m scared, hopeful, expectant, afraid, and seemingly happy.”
“Do you want me there? I mean, I can just drop you at the door if you wish.”
“Yes. Please, yes,” I giggle. “Of course I want you there. If it’s Wyatt, I want you to meet him. If it’s Marca, then I need you there to help me deal.”
Accepting my answer, she nods, smiles, and pushes the door open. Passing into the hall to await Dr. Callie, Sali meets us instead. “Ladies, good morning. This will be short. Both of you need rest.”
“I get it. I’ll be good, cross my fingers.”
“It’s supposed to be cross my heart. Crossing your fingers means you were promising to be bad,” Sali quips off, laughing.
“Whatever works.”
“All right, all right. Time to go,” Dr. Callie joins us, a wide smile on her face.
Flanking my mother, the doctor and Sali lead us across the hall, then down the next hall across from the nurse’s station. Stopping at the door directly in front of it, I realize this is where we saw China that day. We’ve been that close to each other? It makes sense they’d want to keep us close, but it was so close. I wish I’d known.
“Remember what I said, this will be short,” Dr. Callie reiterates before entering the room.
“I’ll be careful. Nothing too taxing. Got it.”
Waiting by the door, the doctor and Sali enter first. Time passes slowly. It’s like a movie in slow mo. I’m both anticipating and dreading it at the same time.
“We ready?”
Shaking my head, my mom pushes the cart through the doorway. Entering, I feel the tension of this meeting like a tangible enemy. The pressure in my chest increases, my heart beats out like a drum, and I’m sweating. I’m so afraid, it’s not funny.
The room itself is sparse. I half-expected to find baskets of well-wishes and flowers abounding. There’s nothing. Looking around the room, the curtain is drawn, and the window shade is drawn partway, holding the sunshine at bay. The machines are switched off, pushed to the side, away from whoever’s in the bed. The doctor peeks her head in, speaks to the person, then slowly draws the curtain back. It’s like a reveal on the dating game.
“Hello, Siren.”
I’m speechless, stunned to silence. Testing every emotion, my body tightens. Everything I’ve wanted to know for weeks has come to fruition. I’m so afraid that it’s an apparition, a ghost.
“Are you going to speak, love?”
Tears start down my face. I’m so happy, yet saddened. “Wyatt?” My voice cracks, failing me.
“Remember what I said you two. Gentle, easy, and short. Both of you back to your respected corners quick,” Dr. Callie says.
Without an answer from either of us, my mother answers for me. “They’ll be good.”
“I’m going to leave you together for a bit, but if you need us, please hit the button. Either of you feel bad, you tell us right away,” Sali states as she and the doctor leave. Both of them are smiling like Cheshire cats as they exit, while Wyatt, my mother, and myself are left alone.
Silence reigns supreme in the room as we both sit there, staring at each other.
“So, um, this is kind of awkward,” my mother says, interrupting the pregnant air. “I’m Natalie, by the way.”
Watching as Wyatt gives that beaming smile I love—that I missed—he reaches out his hand to take hers. It’s weak and shaky, something I’ve never seen. Wyatt isn’t weak or sapless. Wyatt is strong, resilient, powerful, and infallible.
“I’m Casper Crown. Or, to my Siren, I’m Wyatt. It’s nice to meet you, Natalie.” Even though he’s talking to my mother, his full attention is still on me. Once the curtain was pulled back, we were hooked. Just like always, just the same. Nothing has changed.
He’s everyone’s Casper, and my Wyatt. The other half of me.
“I hear that you’ve been caring for my Siren. Thank you.” His gaze is electric. I feel alight instantly, just like I always do.
I believe I always will.
“I’m not sure how much they told you, Casper, but I’m Natalie Matcheson. Circe is my daughter.” Looking out the corner of my eye at my mother, she’s anxious and panicked. Wyatt is calm and serene.
Even though I’m not secured to the chair, or held down, I’m afraid to move forward. None of it feels real yet.
“It’s really you.”
Wyatt understands. He understands my fear. “Yes, love, I’m here.” His face changes from gleeful to sorrowful in the blink of an eye.
I lift up, just slightly, so that I can reach my hand out. I have to touch him and feel that he’s tangible, real. But, my mother left my chair at the end of the bed where we first came in. It’s not nearly close enough.
“Hold up there, young lady,” my mother pipes up. Rushing around to my side of the bed, she pushes my chair closer to where Wyatt sits regally. I can finally touch him. My knees are tucked under the framework, and my chest is just inches away from the cushion, but it’s close enough for now.
My heart is still. I don’t feel it beat. I don’t feel my breath as it rises and falls either. The pressure of being so close and not close enough is elusive. I want to be within his arms, held and secure. Bringing me closer, he smiles that glorious Crown smile that only Wyatt can. Only the happy and contented Wyatt can.
Checking him out, I see the damage that still riddles his body. His far hand is lying across the bed, wrapped and bandaged, and the close one, the one I want to have touch me, is tucked under the blanket. I’m still casted on the right at the wrist, but I need his touch so bad, I’ll accept a twinge of pain. Pulling up my casted arm slowly, so as not to hit the bed, I lay it across his.
Wyatt pulls back the blanket with a wicked smirk. “It seems we have a matching set.”
“Wyatt, I—” There’s no way to stop the flow of tears as they stream down my face. Joy or sorrow, happiness or pain, I’m not sure which, but they’re a dike I can’t staunch.
“I missed you,” Wyatt says. “I’m sorry you were kept away.” Turning slightly on the bed, he leans toward me. Sadness pulls across his features as he explains further. “It was so dark. Being in my head was in a place I couldn’t be with you, and it hurt. I could just imagine it for you.”
“I—I was so alone.” Choking out the words, my throat is tight, scratchy, and my heart constricts.
“You know, you kept me sane, Siren. You called to me.”
“Will you tell me about it, please.”
Closing his eyes, he leans back on the stacked pillows and breathes deeply. “Soon, Siren. Soon.”
“I think you two have had enough for today,” I hear my mother say. I’d forgotten we weren’t alone.
Wyatt nods, then smiles and asks, “Will you stay while as I fall asleep?”
You’d think my heart just shattered. I know my soul fell to pieces as I fell more and more in love with him right then and there.
“I don’t want to leave you at all. I’ve waited weeks to see you, and I can’t think of leaving you. So yes.” As the tears fall, I lay my head on the bed by his body, soaking up his warmth. I can’t think of anything. I can’t excuse myself from this, and I won’t be moved until I have to. Even then, I’ll be kicking and screaming. If I was in a body cast, I would find a way to be with him, touching him in some way.
Hoping that we’ve passed through the worst of it, that we can start to repair our bodies, minds, and souls, I relish the time I have with him.
It could have been minutes, hours, or the passing of a lifetime, but I was happy. I was at peace all within the confines of Wyatt’s quiet room.
Listening to his strong heartbeat, I hear his breathing steadily slow as he falls asleep beside me.
This is where I belong.