CHINA
After dress shopping yesterday, the girls and I spent the night drinking and being overall idiots at Harlow’s. It was necessary to release some tension, and I’m glad they made me do it. I wanted to go back to the hospital, but they insisted that Jamieson could handle it all. This morning, feeling guilty, I headed back to the hospital to see my brother and Circe. Being grilled by Wyatt, though, was the last thing I wanted. Thanks to Jamieson, it seems he had another thought in mind when he blurted out my date with the LA County Court tomorrow. I wanted to hide it from Casper indefinitely. Honestly, I was trying to limit his stress.
“Arrested! Come on, Doll, that’s—”
“What? Childish?” I blurt out, then think better of losing my shit. “Is that what you were going to say, Cas? It’s not like your past isn’t shady.” I can see the steam rising from his ears, but I’m not about to take this shit from him, regardless of his condition.
Wyatt’s still in bed with wires and tubes running everywhere. Circe is in her bed right beside him, looking just as frail and broken as him, but smiling her solidarity. His breathing is almost normal. The shunts have been removed, and he’s been weaned off the majority of the drugs now, except those to help with his mania. I know this may not be the best timing, but I’m sick of being the underage burden in our family.
Jamieson swore he’d keep it a secret as we agreed Casper has been dealing with enough. With Dad’s death, which is still fresh in our minds, his wreck, Mother’s death, and the almost death of himself and his girlfriend, it’s been hard. Not to mention, his mental health. The last thing I want to be responsible for is regressing that progression.
With Jamieson glaring at me and growling, Wyatt pipes up. “Doll, you have everything at your disposal to race anytime you want. Why would you—”
“Right, and I’m sure you and Whiskey are both the poster children for good behavior. Just because I have a track at home doesn’t mean I don’t need a release. Don’t attack me when your kettle’s burnt fucking black, boys.” Turning away from them before I lose it further, grabbing the water jug and pouring myself a glass of ice water, I try to relax myself. I’m riled and pissed they want to trounce on me.
“You’re totally right, Doll. We’re not the best people to tell you to curb your enthusiasm in public. But that was before. We had parents to cover it up, contain it, and keep our asses out of trouble. Now it’s just us. Right now, with this, you just put yourself in the limelight with the worst possible timing. I can’t be there to help you.” Wyatt’s tone has dropped considerably from fuming mad to partially pissed. I’m grateful, but still annoyed.
“I hate this is putting pressure on both of you, but it’s mine to deal with,” I tell them, finishing off the glass. Casper’s sullen expression shows how guilty he feels about this. I’ve been his to protect and coddle; I always have been. But he’s in no shape to worry about anything but his own health, as he still looks so underweight and frail.
“You’re still not dealing with any of this alone, Doll. We’ll help each other. That’s what family’s for.” Holding my gaze, then turning to Casper, Whiskey leaves no room for argument. “Look, I’ll get Merconda on this and we’ll get you sorted. You won’t be going to that court appearance without a lawyer and me.”
“Whiskey, I’m still pissed you didn’t get me or the lawyers involved earlier. Why’d you keep this from me? I’m in the hospital, not in the morgue—”
“Yeah, and you’ve been resting pretty close to that line. You’ve been half-alive, half-dead, heart stopping—to stay the least—for months now. It’s been a shitshow, brother.” James’ gruffness is back in full force, and I’m not bearing the brunt of it, Wyatt is.
Annoyed and edgy, Wyatt clips off with fight in him. “I’m not dead, Jamieson. I don’t intend for that to happen anytime soon.”
Great. Why do men have to pull macho shit like it’s a PMS card?
“Really, not the time, guys.” Placing the cup on the counter and starting toward the door, I give them both a scathing glare. At least I hope it looks like that because that’s what they both deserve. “Look, I need to get myself sorted for the C&A fundraiser, so if either of you need me, I’ll be at the house. I promise to be on my best behavior.”
“You’re going to the C&A tonight? Don’t you think it’s better to stay away from public affairs?”
Now I’m miffed. “Really? It’s our fundraiser, our show, and our family affair. You want me to stay away?”
“Maybe tonight’s not really the best time for you to go out. I don’t want to seem indifferent to the issues you’ll deal with but yeah, this is just going to make it worse, Doll.”
Now I’m pissed. Turning back, my hackles are up. “No, I’m going, and I’m sorry if you don’t feel the timing is good. I won’t be alone, Cas. I’ll have the girls with me, and besides, more questions would be asked if none of us showed up, right?”
“Then I’ll go,” Jamieson pipes up. Shocking me and Wyatt, James barks it out like a command. It’s a cross between pissed, scared, angry, and downright annoyed. He’s not the public face of Crown Racing, thanks to our parents. Security will ask him for ID, and even then, they won’t believe it.
“Really? You?” I’m probably adding fuel to the fire, but fuck it. “You’ve been thrust back here only because of death, and the last place you want to be is where there’s more sand than snow. Don’t act like you want to be there—”
“I don’t, Doll, and I won’t act like I do.” He steps closer to me. “But, I won’t let you put yourself into situations you don’t need to be in right now. End of conversation.”
“You’re not the boss of me, Jamieson Harris Crown.” I look him straight in his eyes, leaving no room for argument. There’s no way I’m backing down on this.
Grumbling, but saying nothing more, Wyatt is about to chime in when I cut him off too. “Neither are you, Wyatt. I won’t be held back from what I want to do because you’re afraid of more crap.” So much for not alienating family today. I might as well keep going.
“China’s right.” Circe speaks up, shocking all of us. She’s been sitting in the bed, quietly watching the confrontation, not saying anything at all. I have to say, I’m surprised she’s siding with me.
“Siren—” Casper starts, but with a wave of her hand, he halts. Man, she has him wrapped. Good for her.
“Your brothers both love you, and they know what you’ve been through the past few months. I know what you’ve been through. You’ve taken care of everything coming out the other side. You’re one of the strongest women I know, China, and if you think you can handle it, then go. You’re an adult, and honestly, honey, your brothers can say no all they want, but they can’t stop you from doing it.” She grins and gives me a wink. I’m floored. A month ago, I wouldn’t allow her access to Cas while he was unconscious, thinking she was the cause of my family’s demise. Now? She’s been a calming balm on him, and I’m grateful. I feel like a total jackass knowing I caused her pain.
Calmly, Cas turns my way. “You sure you’re ready for this? We won’t be there to defend or save you from the awkward conversations, the bad jokes, or the old men getting a bit too grabby. And the paparazzi will be nasty fucks. You’ll have to do it all alone.”
I nod. “Yeah, I’m good. I’ve been trained by the best.” And boy, was I. Mom had it down to an art. Her ‘resting bitch’ was awkward to be on the wrong side of, but amazing to learn from.
“Okay,” Casper says.
Waiting for Whiskey’s answer, I feel like eons have passed. “Be safe,” he grinds out, looking at me with that same reluctant acknowledgement.
“If you run into any problems, go to security. They’ll take care of any issues, Doll.” As Casper smiles that dimple wide, face splitting grin, I kiss him on the cheek. “Promise me, if you can’t handle it, you bolt,” he says quietly.
“I promise,” I reply. Walking over to Circe’s bed, I give her a gentle hug, quietly clipping off a “thank you” while I’m tucked into her shoulder. I really wish Casper was coming with me. I won’t admit it, but it’s mainly because I’ve never been to a function without his intervention and sidekickery.