WYATT
It’s quiet again.
Tired and worn out, Circe was taken back to her room. But neither my brother, nor my sister have come back. Once more, I’m alone with my thoughts.
Is it shit? You bet it is.
I’m relieved that I’ve told them about that day. How we were in the house, and on the ride over. But I’m keeping the memory of her and those final moments to myself. My sister is too soft to know the truth of how she died; how she looked as she died. I can’t bring myself to go through that with her. Whiskey, on the other hand, couldn’t care. Their relationship was the most volatile and convoluted of us all.
It’s been a few hours since they left, and all of it cycles on reels in my head. Constricting me, it’s tightening on my damaged soul like a vice. I won’t bother Circe, and I don’t know Natalie enough. I’m sure my friends are too busy to run here when I’m about to panic as well, so I do the only thing that I know is right.
As the room starts to squeeze me, pressing the button for the nurse, I wait for Sali to arrive.
Mere moments later, entering with a smile, it fades quickly as she sees the state I’m in. “Mr. Crown?” Her voice expresses how I think I look.
“I’m having a bit of trouble. Could you sit here and just talk for a moment or two?”
Her face shows her surprise, and I’m grateful for the elder nurse. Pulling on the chair beside the bed, she sits. “Sure. I can spare all the time you need. What would you like to talk about?”
“I’m not sure where to start.” Telling her that is more truth than fiction. There’s so much to our story that starting at one point will start another, and another, and another to complicate the first.
“Start where you need to, where you feel comfortable.”
“I’m terrified.” Saying it aloud makes it even more apparent. “I’m utterly and truly fucking terrified that I’ll fail. That everything they expect…no, demand of me, will be in vain. You see, I always mess things up. This head of mine always messes it up.” A lone tear falls down my cheek, tempting its brethren to follow. Wiping it away, I laugh at the silliness of it. “I’m sorry. I think being stuck in my head for so long has left everything close to the surface. Every emotion, every fear, every fucking—excuse my language—”
“No excuse necessary, Mr. Crown. Swear away.”
“Everything is dangerous.” Picking up the water, I sip it down through the flimsy blue straw, while Sali waits without saying a word. Placing it back on the table, I do my best to arrange my thoughts. “I’m not sure how much my sister or brother have told you about me.”
“Not much, other than medical requirements.”
“I deal with manic depression, and not well, I might add. Right now, I’m having a hard time coping.”
“We can get you assessed.”
“Assessed?” I say angrily. “I don’t mean to be sharp, but assessment isn’t what I need. I need something to lull this,” I smack my head harshly, “back to sleep.”
“Sleep isn’t what you require. I doubt it would—”
“Sali, I’d hoped you were able to assist me, help me deal with these dangerous thoughts that run rampant. They’re evil fucking nightmares of her death. The last goddamn moments of her in that car!” My jaw ticks as I feel every muscle in my body tightening to the point of crushing me once more. Sure, my mother isn’t here, and she never will again, but even speaking of her boils it all down to the same keynotes in my concerto.
Rising from the chair, I see that Sali is reluctant to leave me. Warring with her decision, the fear to leave me alone is more pressing than to stay and see me fall apart. Coming toward me, she presses the button for the nurse’s station.
“You were going to hang with me, listening, talking, not having me assessed, Sali!” I’d expected more from her. As the feeling crawls across my skin, I know what happens next. As the darkness absorbs all light in my soul, my mind scrambles. My pain increases exponentially, and every cell in my body feels sharper. I’m ready to take on any fight.
Other nurses walk in. They speak to Sali as I rant and rail about how assessment is definitely not what I need. “All I want is a way to forget! All I want is to forget it all. I need to escape the pain of seeing her final moments, the light leaving her eyes. Can’t you understand how incredibly dangerous it is to see it? To feel it all?” The fire is banking the feelings to a boiling point. “Please, take it away? Please help me fight this?” I cry out as the pain surrounds me.
“It’ll all be better in a moment…” Is the last thing I hear Sali say before I black out.
CHINA
“Hello?”
“We request you come back to the hospital, please. Wyatt’s had an…episode,” Sali informs me.
“Fuck! You’ve got to be kidding me?”
“No, I’m sorry. I’m not, China. You really need to come back. He’ll need you.”
“Did his heart fail again?”
In the background is loud shouting and noises. I can barely make out what Sali says. “No. He’s physically well.”
Shit. That’s not good. “I’m just downstairs. I’ll be right up,” I say, ending the call. Making my way back to the building, I resign myself to the fact that this might not be something I can help with.
Rushing to the elevator, I’m thankful when it opens on the first push. Selecting the floor, watching it close up to slow for my liking, I take a moment alone to deal with this.
Watching the floors tick down, I mutter to myself. “Wyatt, what the hell am I going to do with you? What are you hiding?”
Fuck. When he was telling us about the crash I knew, I just fucking knew he was keeping something back. He didn’t want to hurt me, so he’s hurting himself instead.
Typical Wyatt.
As the door opens, I step into the hall, but instead of walking to his room, I turn left instead.
I burst through the door. “Circe, I need you right now.”
The look on her face is one of true shock. Taking in what I’m saying, she’s about to speak before another chimes in.
“Hi. Glad to meet you. Thanks for stopping by, but we were in the middle of a conversation.” Sitting in the chair beside the bed, a tall Asian woman harnesses her inner bitch. At any other time, I think we could be besties, but at this moment, it’s just annoying.
“I don’t have time for this shit.” Bringing the wheelchair over, I push it to the side of the bed. “Not to be rude—”
“Because you were,” she interrupts again with a squinted look.
“Yeah. Look, I’m not worried about hurting your last feeling,” I say, staring her down. “But, there’s something important that requires your attention, Circe. Immediately.” Without a question or a word, she begins lifting the blankets, dragging her tired body into the wheelchair.
“It’s okay, Car. If China says I’m needed, I know she doesn’t ask without really needing me.”
At least someone here is listening. “Totally true. Now, let’s get this show on the road.”
“Excuse me, but no. China Crown ignored your ass for weeks on end in this place. She kept you from knowing—quite legally, I might add—and now I’m wondering why you’re ready to bounce out of here when she snaps her manicured fingers. Please, tell me why, Circe?” The friend rises off the chair, pressing down her neat linen pants, standing to her full height. She’s expecting to halt our departure. Good luck.
“Look. Pissing match aside, you’re just gonna have to give me shit later. I need Circe.”
Gingerly moving to the chair, she shifts her IV pole around. “Carli, it’s fine. Yeah, I get all of those reasons, and they’re totally valid points, but I need to go with China.”
Thank you. Would I like to argue further and entertain myself with a battle of wills? Yeah, sure I would, but we need to go.
After Circe is settled, I start for the door without another word to the friend. Do I get her defence of Circe? Yep. My Harlow would have had anyone’s ass in a sling for the move I pulled, but as it is, someone needs us more.
Stepping as fast as I can, I push Circe’s chair out the door. “You’re about to get the crash course in Casper Crown. I’m sorry, but there’s no other way. I think that for once I’m just not enough.”
“What’s happening, China?”
“I can’t even begin to explain it. You have to see it to believe what’s going on with my brother. I’m hoping the connection you two have will be enough to settle him.”