When I left New York, I had more anxiety than when I arrived.
The ideas my editor had and the ways she thought would work to get my book where she wanted it was overwhelming. They were perfect, but I’m not going to lie and say that I feel confident in myself. She was spot on with everything I’ve been wanting but was unsure how to bring it there. With her suggestions, I know I can bring these stories to life in a way I had only dreamed.
Now, to find the time.
It took me months to write each of these books, and now they want both of my books redone in the next two months.
I park my car near Heath’s office. Jenna is here with her father helping him out, and the closer I get to the office, I hear raised voices. My first instinct is to barge in and be the peacemaker, but I know I shouldn’t because whatever is going on between them is something that I should stay out of.
“It’s called growing up, Jenna. It’s called responsibility.”
“I’m thirteen.”
“Really? Because most of the time you want to be treated like you’re older. You can’t have it one way and then the other. Pick a side.”
“I don’t know why I have to help you file all this stuff. Why are you paying Alice if she isn’t doing her job?”
Wow, the mouth on her.
“Alice does plenty, and you need to learn that you can’t expect to get whatever you want. Your mother and I work hard to give you all the things you ask for.”
“Mom works hard for it.”
My back stiffens at her words.
“What?”
“I said Mom works hard for it because she’s the one who always buys me everything, not you.”
“That so?”
“Yeah, don’t act so surprised, Dad. When was the last time I asked you for anything, especially now that you and Mom are divorced?”
“We’re not divorced, Jenna Marie.” I hear what I assume is a pile of papers slam against the desk.
“Close enough,” she snaps back.
“What’s going on between your mother and me is between us. I don’t need your attitude.”
“It’s not just you and her, Dad. You have three kids that this is affecting.”
“Is the separation the cause of your witchy attitude? Because I have to say, Jenna, it’s not very becoming.”
Deciding that it’s time to break-up whatever is going on between those two, I pull open the door. Both their heads snap up as I enter the office, and I can’t help but notice the relief that washes over Heath’s face.
“Hey there,” I say, giving them a tight smile.
“Whit,” Heath addresses me as he approaches, gently tugging my body to his.
I close my eyes, taking in the warmth of his touch. Heath’s contact is something I’ve always craved in our marriage. In the beginning, his hands were always on me in some way. The light touch at the small of my back, the light stroking of his thumb on my arm as we watched television. As the years went on, his touches became less and less. Humans need those touches. My kids have always been affectionate towards me, but no matter how many times I tried to convince myself, those embraces never took the place of my husband’s arms.
“Mom?” Jenna’s voice snaps me back to the present, and I step away from Heath.
“Hey, honey,” I say. “Are you ready to get home?”
With her brows furrowed, she nods. “Yeah, my bags are in Dad’s truck. I’ll go get them.”
“Okay, great. My car is unlocked. I’ll be right out.”
She pushes herself from the chair, grabbing her coat and purse from the desk in front of her, and leaving the office without so much as a ‘bye’ to her father.
“So how was everything?” Heath asks.
Turning around to face him, I avoid his question because I want to know what I walked in on. “What was that?” I point my finger towards the door.
“That’s nothing. She has a chip on her shoulder. She thinks the world is out to get her, and then in the next step she thinks it owes her something.”
“I wonder where she gets that from,” I say as I cross my arms.
“You can’t think she gets that crap from me? I’ve never thought the world has owed me anything. I know I need to earn my keep in this life, and I’ve worked my ass off to earn the things that we have.”
I hang my head because I know he’s right. “You’re right, I’m sorry. I’m not sure what’s going on with her. She is a complete one-eighty from the boys at that age.”
“Tell me about it. We need to stop giving into her and all the things she thinks she needs or deserves. Not until she gets her head out of her ass and sees that, she needs to earn some of that. I don’t want my kids going through life thinking they don’t need to work for something. They aren’t going to survive if that’s how they think. You and I both know that.”
“You’re right. I’ll talk to her.”
He takes a step towards me. “Tell me, how was New York?”
“It was good. There’s a lot of information to process. A lot that I need to do and think about.” The sound of my horn blares, signaling that I need to get going. “I’ll talk to Jenna tonight.” Turning on my heel, I almost make it out of his office before his voice stops me in my tracks.
“Have dinner with me.”
“Excuse me?” I say as I turn around.
“Tomorrow night. Have dinner with me. I’d like to hear about your trip.”
My heart races as I look at my husband. This is the second time in as many days when he’s looked so vulnerable, and my chest squeezes at the fact that he’s putting himself out there.
“Sure,” I tell him. “Tell me where and I’ll meet you.”
A smile spreads across his face. “I thought I’d cook for you. At home.”
Home.
I heart clenches at the thought of him referring to the house I once shared with him as home.
“Please–”
“Heath,” I stop him, “I don’t know if that’s a great idea.”
“I do. I think it’s the best idea. Let me do this for you.” The bob of his Adam’s apple tells me he’s nervous, and I can see the pleading in his eyes as he looks at me.
“Okay. I’ll come by the house.”