15
Kelly
I held my breath, perked my ears up, and listened.
Walking into my apartment at such an early hour left me feeling like I had done something wrong. Kaycee got my head spinning—replaying what happened between then and now, filling me with an anxiety I couldn’t suppress. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to be with Kaycee, but I also knew it would be wrong of me to tell her no.
Scanning the kitchen and living room, there wasn’t a sound to be made.
Kicking off my shoes, I made my way inside, knowing that chances were good Kendra was still asleep. With me leaving as soon as I fucked her, I was certain that she had her doubts about my intentions. But it wasn’t like that. And now that I had been gone all night—away with another woman—I was prepared to answer some pretty tough questions I could only assume were coming my way.
Draping my jacket over the back of a kitchen chair, I couldn’t help but notice that Kendra’s things were missing. Moving to the bedroom, my insides warmed with the hope of finding her cuddled beneath the blankets with sleepy eyes, happy to see me return. But without having to peel the covers back, I could clearly see that she was gone.
Shoving a hand through my hair, I sighed.
Kendra left me with nothing. No note or text telling me where she had gone or when I could expect to see her again. It wasn’t like I could blame her for running out. This was my fault for not explaining where I was going. But it was my secret, and with that came my choice in deciding who I shared it with, fully aware of the risks involved with silence.
As I busied myself in the kitchen, making a fresh cup of coffee, I couldn’t help but think that I had left last night with the expectation that Kendra would still be here when I got home. I told her to stay. Reminded her to rest up. But in the end it wasn’t enough to convince her otherwise.
Curling my fingers around the coffee mug, I slumped onto the couch feeling exhausted. The longer I stared out over the city skyline, the heavier my lids became.
I couldn’t stop thinking about Kaycee and what she said. She looked absolutely incredible, and I was happy that she had reached out to me. It was good to relive old memories, laugh, and also be reminded of the experiences that gave us both a little more wisdom in this life of ours.
With each swallow of coffee, my heart beat a little faster.
Lifting my hips, I reached deep into my pocket and pulled out the old photograph Kaycee had given me, insisting I take it with me. I was reluctant at first, but once I looked her in her eye, I knew that I didn’t have a choice.
Staring into the faded image, I couldn’t help but smile. I could see why she’d held onto this, even after all these years. The three of us looked good despite the dozens of different emotions that worked between us that day. God, we were so wrecked that day. It was anyone’s guess as to what allowed us to continue standing so tall that afternoon. Because inside I knew I was crumbling. When I closed my eyes, I could still feel Kaycee hanging off one shoulder while I held Nora’s trembling body on my other side.
My throat constricted and I felt a lump growing.
Raw physical pain triggered the deep emotions of that time and my heart slowed to a slumber.
I thought that together we were going to make it through the pain and come out alive on the other side. Little did I know what the future held for us all. My chest hurt just thinking of how I would have done things differently if I could go back and do it all over again. But in the end, the darkness eventually got the better of each and every one of us—eventually taking all three of us down with it.
Leaning forward, I set the image on top of the coffee table, not wanting to look at it any longer.
Kaycee said that that photograph was what helped her move on. She held on to it and treated it like a relic she could look to for advice. And when she pulled it out the other day, she knew that she had to see me.
My gut clenched when I cast my gaze to my ring finger that once housed a wedding band.
I lifted my head with wide eyes, suddenly worried that old mementos from my past life might be discovered by Kendra. I wasn’t ready to tell her about my past or how I came to be working with the Madam. There was too much baggage, too much complicated history for her to understand. I wanted to keep my secrets closely guarded, at least until I thought the time was right and I was certain Kendra could handle the stories that she deserved to know.
As I searched drawers, looking for old photos of Kaycee, Nora, and I, I realized that many of those things were at my other residence. Including the wedding band I no longer wore. I was thankful for that, because I didn’t want Kendra to accidently find it and get the wrong impression.
Suddenly the apartment felt stuffy and I knew that I couldn’t stay here. With Kendra gone, what was the point?
Gathering my things, I thought how staying here meant tears, shame, and guilt. It was enough to weigh any man down, and the more I let my mind relive the past, the weaker my muscles became and my knees threatened to give out.
I had to leave.
And there was only one cure I knew of that would make this all go away.
The car ride to my office went by in a flash and by the time I arrived, my mind was blank. No emotion. No thought. Just in the zone, knowing that work had always been the best cure when it came to dealing with the demons of my younger self.
“Geeze, what the hell happened to you?” Giselle rose from behind her desk when she saw me coming.
“Long night,” I said, picking up the newspaper she had perfectly folded and ready for me to take on the corner of her desk. “Any word from Colin?”
“He’ll be in town tomorrow.” She smoothed down her skirt. “Driving up from San Diego.”
I quickly scanned the paper’s headlines, looking for any notable news I should keep my eye on.
“I sent him the case files we have on Mario.” Giselle started moving paperwork across her desk. “Minus that one file you mentioned to save for when he’s here in person.”
I lifted my eyes off the paper. “That’s great. Thanks, Giselle.”
“Kelly,” she paused to wet her lips, “Colin asked to speak with you directly.”
My head cocked. “Did he say about what?”
“No.” She shook her head. “Just wanted me to tell you to call him.”
Closing my newspaper and tucking it beneath my arm, I moved to my office, shut the door behind me, and settled in behind the desk. A quick dial later, the line was ringing.
“Kelly Black is alive,” Colin answered.
“How the hell are you, Cobbs?” I smiled.
Colin Cobbs and I were old law school friends and his loyalty was one that I could trust without question. It was half the reason I requested Giselle to first contact him before we started searching for alternative options. Because with the plan Wes and I had come up with, we couldn’t afford to have alternative options. Colin was the option. With his credentials, known loyalty, and my plan to get Mario the justice he deserved while simultaneously working to bring Blake Stone down, Cobbs was the exact ingredient I needed going forward.
“Truthfully, I’ve seen better days.” Colin sighed. “Maggie is battling breast cancer and my daughter just started driving and is running my ass up the wall.” He laughed. “But I don’t want to bore you with my problems. How’re things with you? It’s been too long.”
“That it has.” I leaned back, thinking back to his wedding day—the day he married Maggie. “I’m sorry to hear about Maggie.”
“The prognosis is looking good.” His voice was light on his feet. “But it’s still a struggle.”
“Is there anything I can do to help?”
“Yeah,” he laughed, “you can tell me more about this murder case you’re working.”
Excitement pounded my heart and made its way up my body, crinkling my eyes. “We need your help.”
“What for? Based off the files Giselle sent me, it seems straight forward.”
“How early can you get up here?”
“Let’s see,” I heard his chair spin around, “I can be there first thing tomorrow morning. How does eight sound?”
“Eight’s perfect. But before you make the commitment to come all this way—”
Colin laughed. “Kelly, please. A visit with you is long overdue.”
“Indeed.” I nodded as a pensive expression tightened my face. “But I also know you’re as busy as I am and I don’t want to take you away from any of your own cases.”
“Really, it’s not a problem. I have a great team in place who can cover for me. Besides, what I’ve already read about Mario is fascinating and I wouldn’t pass up an opportunity to partner with the illustrious Kelly Black.”
The corners of my mouth curved up into a smile. “I could certainly use your expertise.”
“And I could certainly use a vacation.” He chuckled. “Even if it only is for a day.”
“Hopefully you’ll want to stick around longer than a day after what I share with you tomorrow.”
“I guess that depends on what else you have up your sleeve.”
A light chuckle escaped my chest and passed my lips. “All I can say is that my involvement in this case needs to be kept secret.”
“You know you can trust me,” he said sincerely.
“That’s why I reached out to you first.” My hand smoothed down the top of my thigh. “You’re the only one I can trust with this.”
“What are you up to, Kelly?” There was a hint of amusement in his voice and I knew that he couldn’t wait for a change in scenery.
“I can’t discuss it over the phone.”
“I was afraid of that.”
“You don’t have to commit now. Come up tomorrow. Hear me out, and then once you know everything that I’m after, you can decide if it’s something you’re willing to risk.”
“Shit. This sounds too good to be true.”
“I’m just giving you fair warning.”
“See you in the morning,” Colin said, ending our call.
Hanging my phone back on the receiver, I stood and moved to the door, knowing that Giselle would want to know Colin’s plans. As soon as I stepped out, I knew something was wrong. Giselle had her head in her hands, gently shaking her head. “Hey,” I said softly. “Colin will be here at 8AM.”
She lifted her head, nodded and sighed.
“Is everything all right?”
She fluffed her hair and refused to look me in the eye. “It’s nothing.”
My hand reached out and I squeezed her shoulder. “Don’t bullshit me.”
She angled her head to show me her watery eyes. “It’s John. Things are rocky at home.”
My chin tipped back as my jaw ticked. “Is he home today?”
Giselle nodded. “Wanted to take me to lunch.”
I took a small step forward. “And why didn’t you?”
She spread her arms out to the sides and said, “Look at this mess. I have too much work and can’t afford to get behind.”
“Go to lunch. I’ll take over. Be with John.” Giselle’s head spun around. Her eyes were bright and filled with surprise. “You’ve been working your tail off and if we’re going to take on Stone’s case, it’s only going to get more demanding.”
“Kelly, I appreciate your offer,” she turned her gaze back to her busy desk, “but I can’t let you do all this just because my boyfriend wants to take me out to lunch.”
“It’s just lunch. You’ll have all afternoon to play catch up,” I said, thinking of how I needed to make things right in my own relationship with Kendra.
Giselle turned to me and smiled. “Thank you, Kelly. I promise I won’t let it run long.”
“It’s fine if you do.” I grinned. “I’d hate for you to make the same mistakes I’ve made.”