27
Kelly
Leaning back in my office chair I blew out a heavy, controlled breath, feeling deflated.
Despite the stresses of the job staring me down from my desk, I couldn’t stop thinking about Kendra. I wondered if she’d slept at all or if she just laid awake the entire night staring up at the ceiling. She tossed and turned and was rolling out of bed way before first light. I couldn’t let her leave without making sure she understood that I meant what I’d said.
Closing my eyes I could still see her tense face, reluctant to agree to my latest demand.
Kendra would stay with me, living at my penthouse apartment, until further notice.
This wasn’t a game. She didn’t have a choice.
And she knew it.
There wasn’t a reason to fight me on this because in the end she would lose. I left no room for discussion. It was just something that I needed her to do until we worked through whatever the hell was tearing her apart inside.
Spinning my desk chair around my eyes opened and I stared out the window, watching the palm leaves blow with the breeze.
It pained me to know that she was hurting and that she didn’t ask me to help. I wanted to help. Even if I might be the cause of the anguish she was fighting, it had to be me to help her recover. That was what I’d agreed to—the commitment I’d made the moment she signed my contract.
Dropping my head into my hand I pinched the bridge of my nose, thinking back to how I demanded she make herself come.
I feared she would lose control of her emotions afterward once the sweat dried and the labored breathing calmed. But she never did. Though choosing to remain quiet, she never curled back inside herself like the times before that kept me on edge, waiting to see another relapse. And that was something to smile about. Because if I was the cause of her trigger, I didn’t know how we could go on and make this thing we had work.
But it wasn’t me. It was something else.
Lifting my gaze back outside, I wondered how things were going. The searing kiss I left her with early this morning still tingled on the tip of my tongue and left my lips feeling numb. There wasn’t any way she was leaving without me first making sure she wouldn’t forget who cared about her most. I was carving my place in her life, and it was important she knew that I was serious about her.
But that didn’t come without first setting up a couple necessary precautions. That was why I had Maxwell be her driver, be the one to look after her. Kendra was my prized possession. And past all the filth of my job, I had only her to fall back on.
I let my desk phone ring twice before spinning around to pick it up. “Kelly Black.”
“Kelly, its Mike, from the gym.”
Mike Ricci was my personal trainer and the man I’d first called when arriving at the office early this morning. “Thanks for returning my call.”
“Of course. What’s up?”
“I have a friend who I’d like you to start working with.”
“Great. What can you tell me?”
“She’s a woman I just started dating—”
“You want me to tone her up? I can do that.” He laughed.
“Yes. But more importantly, she is dealing with lots of stress and I know you can put her through a program to help her relax a bit.”
“I know just the plan,” he confirmed without hesitation. “My schedule is flexible for you, Kelly. You know that. Just send her over or have her call me and I’ll get to work on her.”
“Thanks, Mike.”
“Anything for you.”
“She’s important to me so, please, treat her with care.”
“Goes without saying.”
Hanging up the phone my lips tugged at the corners, knowing the kind of magic Mike was sure to create. Between his workout regimen and me continuing to ease Kendra into a more submissive role, it was only a matter of time before she’d relax and realize that as long as she was with me there wasn’t anything to worry about.
Glancing at the clock I saw that it was almost eight. Giselle would be arriving any minute.
Maria Greer’s case file laid open and I started to think more about her; what she was like, how she’d spent her final days, and how Colin should be meeting with Mario now. But beyond Maria and Stone and all my other work, I had to be sure to get this right with Kendra. I couldn’t live through another ordeal like the one Kaycee and I just relived.
Reaching out to the far corner of my desk, I took the framed photo of Nora into my hand and brushed the tip of my finger over her happy face.
She had been gone five years and it never got easier. Time continued to pass, but the raw ache of her absence carried on. The memories Kaycee and I shared were there—reliving tales of how the three of us once lived a more carefree life before shit got real. I would never forget, even if somedays I wished I could. Her photo was a simple reminder to not take the good in my life for granted because, without warning, one day it might disappear.
Setting the image of Nora down on the desk in front of me, I wondered how Kendra knew I was with Kaycee. I could only assume that the Madam told her as a way to control our relationship from the sidelines.
I heard the front doors open, and soon after Giselle was dropping her things behind her desk. “Morning, Giselle,” I called.
She peeked her head into my office. “Hey, Kelly.”
“How are things at home?”
She cast her gaze to the floor and frowned. “Not good.”
The way her shoulders drooped reminded me of Kendra. “If there’s anything I can do to help you’d let me know, wouldn’t you?”
Her eyes flicked up to me as she nodded. “Yes.”
It seemed like we were both battling our own relationship troubles. Though neither of us would admit how much it truly bothered us—for fear of it interfering with our work—the fact remained. We both had an important decision to make and, with it, we were deciding between having a career or being with the one we loved.
“You miss her, don’t you?” Giselle’s eyes were locked on the photo of Nora.
“More than anything.” I stared at the image and swallowed down the stone that had formed. “Love isn’t easy,” I glanced up at Giselle, “nor is it easy to find.”
“No,” she folded her arms over her chest and leaned her shoulder against the doorframe, “it’s not.”
I kept my eyes on Nora when I shared a story from my past. “She didn’t like all the hours I put in, and, truth be told,” I lifted my gaze up to Giselle, “even after what she did to me, I deeply regret not stepping away while we still had a chance.”
Giselle’s eyes rounded and watered.
“Don’t lose John. If he’s worth fighting for, do whatever it takes to make him stay.”
She blinked and a tear fell from the corner of her eye when she nodded. “I love what I do, Kelly.”
“I know you do,” I said solemnly.
“You can’t do it alone. I won’t let you.” She laughed, wiping her cheek dry.
I chuckled, appreciating her loyalty to the practice, but her response made me question if she hadn’t already given up on him.
“I better get that,” she said when her desk phone started ringing.
I clasped my hands together and rested my elbows on my desk. Keeping one ear on her conversation, I thought about what she said and I wondered if we’d both die alone. This business was demanding, brutal, and unforgiving in its constant demands. It would put a strain on anybody’s personal life and had ruined many marriages along the way. I could only hope that Giselle wouldn’t follow in my own footsteps—having to live with regrets every day.
I angled my head when I heard the urgency grow in Giselle’s voice. Something had happened. “I’ll transfer you to, Kelly,” she said.
Giselle peeked her head in my office just as I was placing the receiver over my ear. “This is Kelly.”
“Kelly, it’s Colin. I’m afraid I have some bad news.”
I swallowed with pinched brows.
“Mario refused my counsel.”
My eyelids closed as I hung my head, wondering what we were going to do now.
“He wants to go this alone.”