Chapter Five

 

Ella

It’s been two weeks since I have seen Damien. He calls me every day to ask me how I am feeling and if I need anything. Other than that, we haven’t really tried to get to know one another. I know it has a lot to do with my one-word answers on the phone, but how do you have a conversation with someone you have never fucked, but is your baby’s daddy?

Since he wants to be in the kid’s life, I’m assuming that means he wants the baby to be a part of his club life. Would that mean he would want me to be a part of it as well, or am I just the baby making machine? I wish this wasn’t all so confusing.

For the last two weeks, all I have done is thought about my life and the direction it’s going. I had also thought about Jeff, and how much I miss him. I can’t even bring myself to sleep in the middle of the bed. Stacey has made me do prenatal yoga. She had told me that it might make me feel better. Honestly, it does. I feel relaxed and at ease when I do it. That only takes up so much of my day though, leaving me with a whole bunch of time to think. I am lost in thought when my phone rings.

“Hello?” I answer without looking at the screen to see who it is.

“Hey, Ella? It’s Damien.” His deep voice does something to me that I will continue to deny.

“Yeah, hey. How’s it going?” I clear my throat out of nervousness.

“Good. How are you feeling?” This is the same question he asks me every day when he calls.

“Oh, I’m fine. Not much morning sickness today, so I’m just relaxing.” I shrug even though he can’t see me.

“Well, that’s good. Listen, Prez wants to meet you. I put it off long enough. There’s a family BBQ tonight, and there won’t be any club whores here, so I think that it would be the best time for you to come,” Damien says so fast that it is a wonder how I even caught any of it.

“Oh, well, okay. When do you want me to be there?” I ask already getting nervous. What if they don’t like me? I’m glad that he never invited me there when there were club whore’s around because I don’t know how I would deal with that.

“Well, everyone is starting to arrive, so I could come get you or give you the address.”

“Oh, just give me the address. I will change and head over. No need for you to come all the way over here if you are already there,” I tell him already getting off the couch to head to my room and decide what I’m going to wear to a bikers’ BBQ. What does someone wear to that? I’m sure that a sun dress would make me stand out.

“Okay, I will meet you out front,” he says. After I hang up, he sends me a text with the address. I can do this. I mean how bad could this be? This is part of my life now, and I know that I can’t stall for long.

 

 

Damien

I fucking hate this. I never get nervous, and this is the second time this woman has made me nervous. Fuck.

I am waiting outside trying hard not to show how nervous I am. Prez has been bugging me the last two weeks to get Ella over here. I told him that I would on a day that the club whores weren’t around because I knew that would freak her the fuck out. I knew that he understood how important it was for me not to screw it up.

I tried so hard not to find out everything about her. Every time that I called, she would give me one-word answers like she didn’t know what to say to me. I decided that I would give her time to get used to the whole idea of me in general, and that’s not adding to the picture this fucked up situation. Not to mention, she’s the hottest fucking chick that I have ever seen. Fuck. I spent too many nights thinking about her and her sweet ass which is fucked up because I know that she just lost her husband. I don’t know if he was good to her, but there was genuine sadness in her eyes when she told me about him.

I see her white SUV pull up to the clubhouse. Fuck, I hope that she doesn’t hate it instantly, and gives it a chance. My brothers and my club are my life, but she’s also carrying my baby. I don’t know what I’m going to do if she hates my club life - it’s a big part of who I am.

I point to her where to park, and run up beside the driver’s side door to open it for her.

“Oh hi, Damien,” she says with a blush on her face. At least I know that I am not the only one affected.

“Hey Ella. Let’s go meet everyone.” When she gets out, I put my hand on her back ignoring the feeling I have that it belongs there.

We walk into the clubhouse. There aren’t that many people in here since everyone is in the back for the BBQ. We like to do a family day once a month with no club whores around. They know the rules and their place, so they don’t bother even though some of them try to become old ladies, but I will tell you this: no brother wants an old lady who has fucked every one of your brothers. You want to find yourself a pussy that none of your other brothers know what it feels like to be inside of.

I only show her the common area of the clubhouse. There isn’t much here but a bar, pool table, and couches. It’s really where we drink and fuck around. There are hallways on either side that lead to the bedrooms. Down one of the hallways is where all the ranking brothers’ rooms are- the Prez, VP, Enforcers, and Sergeant in arms.

The kitchen is huge, and has a big fucking table. A lot of brothers come in and out of here. Some of the brothers have houses, and don’t live in the clubhouse. This place is huge, and we made sure that it had everything in case we needed to be on lockdown.

I don’t spend much time giving her the tour since there’s nothing but the room where we have church, bedrooms, and the main common areas.

I lead her out to the backyard. As soon as we step outside, everything stops. It is so fucking quiet that I can hear people breathing.

The day after I met Ella, I had told the rest of the brothers what went down. There were a lot of sympathetic looks. I know that everyone was hoping that I didn’t get stuck with a bitch for the rest of my life as that would mean she would be at the club. My problem was that she would be too sweet for the club, and try to refuse me seeing the kid.

I see Prez walk up with Lily, and I hear a soft gasp beside me. I look at Ella, and she has her hand covering her mouth and tears forming in her eyes. Shit. How could I have fucked this up already? What the fuck happened?

Once Prez gets close enough to see Ella since I was blocking his view of her, he stops dead in his tracks. He actually looks like he is about to be sick, and Lily is completely frozen to her spot too.

“Holy fuck, she looks just like Bianca,” I hear a voice say. I look over and see Bear. He is a big mother fucker, and one that you don’t want to mess with. He is also Prez’s best friend, and has been in the club as long as Prez has.

“What’s your mom’s name?” Prez asks hesitantly, looking at Ella very closely.

“M-my mom’s name is Trish Fisher, wha… who…holy shit…” Ella stumbles out her words, and starts digging through her purse. I know her hands are shaking, but I honestly don’t know what the fuck is going on, so I just stand there.

She takes out a picture that looks like it’s been through a-fucking-lot. With a shaky hand she flips it over, and I fucking go still.

In her hand is a fucking picture of Prez. He looks like he’s in his twenties, but I know that’s him. He hasn’t aged much. He has some wrinkles and grey hair now, but that’s definitely, fucking, him.

Prez grabs the picture from her, and the colour drains from his face. His sons come up to see what the fuck is going on.

“Why the fuck do you have a picture of our dad?” Torch asks.

“I-it was in my mom’s stuff when she died. I had gone through everything with her when she was alive, but she would never let me look in that box. When she passed away, I packed it with my stuff and opened it as soon as I was put in the group home,” she says looking down. I already have an idea where this story is heading, and I’m not sure if I’m going to like what I hear.

“That picture was in there with my birth certificate and my baby picture. There was also a letter addressed to a guy named Derek Knight, but I never opened it. I just carry the picture around because it must have been important to her.” She looks at me with questioning eyes, but all I can do is shrug.

I look at Prez, and he swallows hard. Everyone is looking at Ella with wide eyes, but she has no idea what the fuck is going on, or the can of worms she just opened.

Prez clears his throat a couple times. “Do you still have the letter?” I know he’s looking at Ella searching her face for answers.

“Yeah, I keep it on me in case I ever ran into him, I guess,” Ella says digging back into her bag.

“You did,” he whispers. I don’t think she heard him since she is looking in her purse, but I know that everyone else did.

Ella hands him an envelope that has seen better days. Hopefully, the letter will have the answers he needs.

“Here’s everything that was in the box. I mean everything except this key chain that has the initials D.K. on it, but I have always kept it on my keys. I can give them to you too if you’d like.” She looks at him with confusion, but he hasn’t said much, and I know that he won’t until he reads the letter. Ella looks so lost and innocent right now, but I don’t know what to say to her without giving everything away.

He looks at the key chain, and I see a ghost of a smile on his face. “No, that’s okay. You keep it. I’m just going to read this letter. Can you give me a minute?” He looks at me, and the look he is giving me is telling me that I better not let her go anywhere, but also not tell her what’s going on until he reads the letter. I nod my head, and pull Ella over to the grill. Cook piles her plate full of food and winks at her. “For the baby,” he remarks. She chuckles, and goes to sit down on one of the benches. I don’t think she even realizes that everyone is looking at her and Prez trying to figure out what the fuck to do. I sit beside her and bury my face in my hands letting out a low groan.