The rose fell from my hand into the dug-out earth to bounce on a lacquered casket after a man we’d paid spoke words about a guy he’d never met.

Megan clung to my hand, but I was pretty sure it was the other way around. She gave me the strength to stand there when guilt was like lead dragging me under.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered to my brother.

Words he would never hear, and I had to live with that. The fact that Bear and all the men that knew about my father and me were dead and got that way in a FBI raid and shootout wasn’t any consolation.

Megan squeezed my hand, but didn’t offer pretty sentiments, which I appreciated.

How could I forgive myself?

What was worse were the paltry few things he left behind. The car and cash meant nothing to me. The only thing that I’d found I wanted was a journal.

The first page was dedicated to me.

I remembered the day he’d left. It was the day of his high school graduation, but he didn’t attend. Dad was crushed and I’d hated him for that and spitting on us when he said that he was joining the family.

Now I hated myself for not seeing through his lies and excuses. I hated that he’d done it after a stint in juvie. I hated that he’d picked them over me, or so I’d thought. The reality was he’d chosen me over himself and I had to live with that.

Because like the preacher, I didn’t really know my brother or the man he’d become. He’d sacrificed himself for me, leaving behind two kids who needed him more. And I was angry at him for that, too. I had found out a lot about him through his words.

I glanced over to where Ashley fell to pieces, her two kids looking on as she cried for a father they’d never met. The only good thing out of this disaster was that Ashley seemed to have gotten over her missed placed feelings for me. Yes, I’d been there for her when my brother had gone to jail, but a friendship was all there had ever been between us. Tim and Jeff had failed her. My hope was that one day she’d find happiness.

My gaze met Megan’s.

She knew me better than anyone when she said, “I’ll go,” squeezing my hand again before walking over and helping a weeping Ashley.

I nodded because Dad needed me. Lee had kept his word and gotten him out in time to bury his son.

I’d only heard my father cry over Mom. Seeing him breaking down over Jeffrey only drove home how much we’d lost.

Wordlessly, I walk over and hugged him. His body shook violently as he muttered how it should be him and not Jeff in the ground. I said nothing. There was a lot of truth in his words. His actions had led us all to this path.

I glanced over at the headstone next to my brother’s. Mom’s, a woman I’d never seen in life. All I had were pictures and stories shared with me.

The moisture on my face was new for me. Jeff had taught me to be tough; I wasn’t sure I’d ever cried.

“I’m sorry,” Dad repeated.

We were both sorry for so many things we couldn’t take back.

Dad pulled away and kneeled in front of Mom’s grave as Megan led Ashley toward her car. Tade and Reagan stood off to the side.

Reagan gave a sad smile before moving to catch up with Megan.

It was time for all the secrets to be revealed. I may have lost a brother, but I gained a cousin.

Tade came over and clapped me on the back.

“Gav—”

I held up a hand. We hadn’t spoken much since the evening Jeff was shot. Police statements, funeral arrangements, and reading Jeff’s journal occupied my time.

“I lost my brother, but honestly, I lost him a long time ago, and that’s something I have to live with.” I met his confused stare. “Maybe it’s not the best time, but when has it ever been?” His bewilderment only multiplied. “I know who your mother is.”

Tade staggered back. His questioning gaze turned accusatory.

I pressed on. “I haven’t known for long. Everything that’s happened, there hasn’t been the right moment to tell you.” I didn’t explain how long I’d known. Instead, I pointed at the hole. “But we aren’t guaranteed tomorrow and you have a right to know.” I blurted the rest. “My aunt was your mother.”

“What?” he sputtered.

It was a complicated story.

“It’s no secret our dads knew each other. Dad’s sister was on vacation and hooked up with your dad. I don’t have the details of what happened on the island—you’ll have to ask Tate that.”

His father was the only person left alive to have that story.

“But she got pregnant and kicked out of the house. Dad used money he saved to get her a place to stay, but after you were born she sought out Tate. Based on all accounts, he took her in until she took off. That’s all I know.”

Tade scrubbed a hand over his mouth, saying nothing. He looked so much like my aunt in that moment.

“Are you sure?” he asked.

I nodded. “Dad has lots of pictures of her and he can tell you more of what he knows.”

Tade nodded and turned to Tate, who stood in the background.

I hadn’t exactly warned Tate that I knew and was passing on the information.

“Go ahead,” I said.

He strode to his biological father with a little anger and disappointment on his face. Tate hadn’t told us we were cousins. Maybe he’d been keeping it a secret for my father’s sake. Whatever it was, it was time everyone told the truth.

Then I was left alone with my brother.

Life was sometimes a lot shorter than you expected. Sometimes we held onto anger until it was too late. More dirt covered the casket, leaving a little bit uncovered.

“I forgive you, big brother. I hope you can forgive me.”

I’d spoken so low my father a few feet away hadn’t heard me. I walked over and reached down to take a handful of soil and tossed it in the hole.

“Rest, brother. We will meet again one day.”

I left to find Megan. She was talking to Ashley, while Reagan crouched in front of the kids…my brother’s kids.

Once Ashley saw me, she flung herself in my arms.

“I’ve lost them both.”

She meant her husband and my brother. I awkwardly patted her back, eyeing Megan. She didn’t seem to appear at all jealous, so I wrapped my arms around the other woman.

“He loved you,” I said in her ear.

He hadn’t exactly written those words, but she was a constant topic in his journal. He struggled with his need to protect her and be with her, losing the battle to the latter many times.

“He never made me any promises,” she said, stepping back to wipe her eyes.

I pulled an envelope from the inside pocket of my suit jacket.

“This is for you.”

Dad and I agreed to sell the Porsche. Though we hadn’t found a buyer yet, we had a good idea what we could get for it. That plus the money he’d had hidden and in a bank account were put in a check for her and the kids. She was still leaving, moving to Kansas where she had family.

“You didn’t have to,” she said, not taking the money.

“Jeff wanted you to have it,” I said, putting it in her hand.

He hadn’t said that, but knowing my brother, especially after reading his journal, he would want this.

She nodded, then glanced at Megan.

“Thank you,” she said.

Megan smiled some. “Keep in touch and send lots of pictures.”

I wrapped my arms around Megan’s shoulders as we waved goodbye and Reagan left to find Tade.

“Are you okay?” Megan finally asked.

Looking at her, I smiled as best I could. “I will be.”

She moved to stand in front of me, getting on her toes. I met her halfway and kissed her.

“I love you, Gavin Volk.”

I would never tire of hearing that.

“I’ll love you more if you agree to marry me.”

Her jaw went slack. “What?”

“It doesn’t have to be today or tomorrow. But just say that when you’re ready, it will be me and no one else you promise forever with.”

A sexy grin formed on her pretty mouth as her brow shot up.

“Are you going to get on one knee?”

“If you want me to.”

There was nothing I wouldn’t do for her.

“And where’s the ring?” she teased.

It had been spur of the moment.

“I, uh…”

“Forgot?”

I shook my head. “After everything I missed saying to my brother, I just needed you to know how I felt.”

She sobered some. “I know you love me. And I’ll marry you one day. There’s no one else for me.”

* * *

Lily sat skipping rocks on the water.

“Hey, kiddo.”

She glanced up and smiled. It had taken a long time before she smiled when she saw me. I didn’t take it personal. Poor kid had been through the ringer.

“Dad’s not here,” she said.

For her to say that had taken a long time, too. But Tade had earned her trust. He’d adopted her like he’d been adopted and taken her in with open arms.

“I saw that. I was hoping to find something to eat.”

She giggled. “You always come over hungry.”

Her phone rang. She glanced at the screen and placed it back down, but not before I caught a flash of a guy.

“Someone bothering you?”

She shook her head as she stared at her lap, picking at her nails.

“How do you know when you’re in love?”

That took me by surprise. “I don’t know,” I said honestly. “When I look at Megan, I just know.” I paused a beat. “Why? Are you in love?”

She looked up. “I think I should be.”

“But you’re not?”

She shrugged. “He’s nice, makes me laugh, but…”

“But no butterflies?” Her head shook. “Maybe one day, if not, you’ve got time. The right person will come along.”

“Here are the two of you.”

Lily’s eyes lit up like it was Christmas.

“Dad.”

She got to her feet and flung herself into Tade’s arms.

I was happy for him and envied the hell out of him too. He had it all.

“Megan’s here,” he said.

“What?”

She’d been out of the country on company business trying to save the world. I hadn’t seen her in months.

Tade held onto Lily as she did him, like he might disappear.

“She wanted to surprise you.”

I frowned. “Where is she, then?”

“She’s in the house. I thought it only fair that you surprise her right back. She didn’t see your car—ran right in the house.”

I wasn’t sure what that was all about. But I followed them up the hill to his lake house. As we entered, Megan stumbled out of the bathroom looking positively green. Her whites of her eyes doubled in size when she saw me.

“Gavin,” she cried out and ran to me, some of her natural color flushing her cheeks.

I scooped her up in my arms, spinning around. I heard Tade mutter something, but didn’t care what he said. We hadn’t been together in so long it felt so damn good to have her in my arms again.

“Tade said you were on your way.”

“From the bottom of the hill,” I joked and crushed my mouth to hers.

She wouldn’t give me entrance, so I pulled back. Her smile had dimmed and my heart sank into my stomach.

Reluctantly, I let her down to study her toes. I reached out and lifted her chin so she’d look me in the eye.

“What’s wrong, Angel?”

It wasn’t a question I wanted to ask. Had she realized she deserved so much more than me? Had she found someone else?

Her hands found the hem on her T-shirt and pulled as if she were trying to get wrinkles out.

“Tell me.”

My voice was flat, ready for the blow she was likely to deliver.

Watery eyes lifted and focused on mine.

“I’m pregnant.”

I choked on the air trapped in my throat. It had been months we’d been apart, which meant…

“I’m four months pregnant,” she added.

The exhale was filled with relief as she studied my face. I worked to get the instant anger off my face that had come from wrong mathematical equations.

“I didn’t want to tell you over the phone,” she said.

It wasn’t gravity that pulled me down to one knee. We hadn’t gotten married. Work had claimed most of our time. The other thing was her mother, who’d broken it off with Lee. They still saw each other, but Megan was sure her mom was working through feelings for her dad.

Tears spilled down Megan’s cheeks as I reached for her hand.

“I know your mom doesn’t like me much.” It was another reason I thought Megan had been putting off marry me.

“She likes you.” I eyed her and she let out a breath. “She doesn’t hate you.”

I nodded and pulled the box from my pocket. I’d been carrying it every day, waiting for the opportunity to give it to her. It also served as a reminder of the future I wanted.

She tented her hands over her mouth.

“I know I asked you before, but I wanted to do it right this time.”

She broke every tradition and got to her knees so we were eye to eye. I opened the box and pulled out the ring that would make every eye dance that saw it.

“Will you be mine, my wife, and the mother of my children?”

She reached out and cupped my cheek, not taking the ring and further confusing me.

“As long as you agree to be my forever, my husband, and the father of our children.”

I grinned. “Angel, you’re stealing my thunder. I asked you first, which means I want to be all those things.”

She giggled. “You know my answer. It’s always been yes. You captivated me from the first moment we met. There has been no else for me but you.”

“Captivated, huh?”

“Exactly. Now, what do you think of the name Margret?”

And that’s how I found out we were having a girl.