His lips, so soft and so warm on mine, moved down my jawline and seared my neck. I arched into his palm as he squeezed my breast and rubbed the pad of his thumb over my nipple, bringing it to a peak.

I wanted so much more and wrapped my hand around his wrist, guiding him where I needed him the most. He chuckled against my chest and I glared at him, aching for much more.

His fingers only glided over my sensitive nub, getting me closer to my destination, but not quite there. Damn him.

The elusive orgasm I’d sought since my first time still hovered just out of reach.

“Please,” I begged.

The sound of my voice woke me up and I snatched my hands from between my legs. I sat up so fast, the mattress rocked.

It wasn’t quite light out, leaving my room bathed in shadows, but it was clear I was alone.

I pushed at my hair. I’d just had a sex dream about Gavin. Seriously. I’d had the opportunity to go there, but I’d done the sensible thing and walked away.

My first time had been clumsy at best. We’d been in love, or so I thought. After he did the deed in what was surely a world-record time, we’d broken up not long after. My second waited me out, telling me how much he loved me. When I once again gave in, he soon broke up with me, saying that he’d be going off to college soon and he wanted me to enjoy my senior year.

Derrick had been different. I hadn’t been in the market for a boyfriend, but he’d convinced me otherwise. Sex had been okay, but the elusive O had never come.

The idea of a one-night stand to check if it was me or them had played in my head. But when Gavin led me to his door, I chickened out. A guy like him probably did one-night stands for sport, for which he most likely held the gold medal.

I got up and padded my way into the bathroom to wash my face. As I stared at myself, I tried to see any difference. It was my birthday.

Nope. I felt like the same girl no guy wanted to commit to. Saving myself hadn’t worked and going in with a carefree attitude hadn’t worked either. Maybe I was destined to be like my mom, forever single. She seemed happy enough with her career. Could I be happy with just that, too?

As the sun rose higher in the sky, I walked into the common area where things were quiet. Then I heard Reagan’s pleading voice and knew who she was talking to. Her mother would be the only one to call her so early in the morning.

Back in my room, I noticed it was nearly ten, not rooster time. I wasn’t normally up at this hour when I didn’t have class. A peek outside revealed a heavily clouded sky with a few breaks where sunlight shined through, which added to my mistake.

Despite my grandparents’ mantra of “Early to bed, early to rise makes a man (or woman) healthy, wealthy, and wise,” I was a night person. I came alive when the sun went down. Mom often teased that I was given to her by vampires.

I dialed her number, missing her so much.

“Meggie.”

The way she said my name like she was so very happy to hear from me made me feel her love hard even through the phone. I was grateful we weren’t in public, though—that nickname was for family only.

“Happy birthday, honey.”

I smiled and wished I could hug her.

“Thanks, Mom.”

“I planned to call you a little later. I didn’t think you’d be up.”

We laughed at the truth in that statement.

“Yeah, I um—” No way I was going to tell her about my sex dream. “—I surprised myself.” I felt a flush creep up into my cheeks as I remembered.

“Do you have big plans for tonight? I wanted to see you, but I figured you’d rather hang out with your friends. Did you get the box I sent?”

“I did. I haven’t opened it yet.”

“Can I be on the phone with you when you do?”

“Absolutely. Give me a minute.”

I set the phone down and searched my desk drawer for scissors. After retrieving them, I grabbed the box and sat back on my bed.

“I have it,” I said.

“I hope you like it.”

When I opened it, I gasped. “You didn’t.”

“You like it? I wasn’t sure if I picked the right one between the two.”

After Christmas, we’d gone to the outlets, which had been crazy packed, and wandered into the Tory Burch outlet because I wanted to—a girl could dream a little. I’d found two sweaters I wanted like my last breath, but they were way too expensive.

“I love it.”

I held up the baby blue sweater to my chest and practically hugged it.

“I went with the cashmere one.”

“I love it, I love it, I love it,” I sang. “Thank you so much, but you shouldn’t have.”

“Since the promotion, I have a little extra and you deserve it. I also put some money in your account.”

My eyes widened. “Really?”

“Yes, really.” I could hear the smile in her voice.

“I love the sweater, but I love you more.”

“I love you, too.”

I propped the phone between my head and my ear as I stood staring in the mirror at myself.

“Megan, there is something else.”

“Yes?” I said, distracted by the V-neck top that would look great with jeans. I was already planning when I would wear it as she dropped the bomb.

“I’m seeing someone.”

My lashes fluttered rapidly as I replayed the words in my head. “You’re what?”

“I’m dating someone.”

It wasn’t that I was mad or anything—just surprised. Mom hadn’t dated anyone ever as far as I’d known. Clearly, she kept that on the down low.

“Wow. Who is he? Someone from your office?”

I folded the sweater and laid it on the box.

She laughed. “No, that wouldn’t be good. He’s in law enforcement.”

“A cop?”

It shouldn’t be shocking, as she’d been working in the state’s prosecutor’s office for years. She would’ve met a lot of them.

She giggled in that way you do when you talk about your first crush. “Not exactly. He works for the FBI.”

I was mature. I could handle this. “How’d you meet?” I asked.

It was probably a dumb question, but I honestly didn’t know what else to say. Though I did wonder if they were bumping uglies.

“We’ve been dating for a while. We met when he’d come to town for a case.”

“So he doesn’t live here.”

“Not exactly. That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. I wanted to do it in person, but I thought it was best you knew sooner.”

That sounded ominous. Her pause only gave me more time to think. Was she pregnant? It wasn’t out of the realm of possibilities. Mom was still in her early forties and some women still had babies at that age.

“He’s here again on a long-term assignment, and I’ve asked him to stay with me.”

“Whoa, so this is serious?”

She laughed again, but this time a little nervously. “I think so. I’m not getting my hopes up.”

“Margarete.” I heard the man’s voice in the background.

Her voice faded some, like she’d covered the speaker to talk to him. “Give me a minute. I’m talking to Megan.”

So he knew about me, but I was only hearing about him now. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that.

“Sorry about that,” she said when she came back on.

“I’m happy for you.”

And I was. I loved my mother and never wanted her lonely. But this only brought up another subject I’d avoided for a while.

“Mom.”

“Yes, Megan?” She sounded a bit relieved, like she’d expected me to be pissed off. I wasn’t, exactly. Happy for her, but a little hurt she’d hid it from me.

“Do Grams and Grandpa know?”

“Not exactly. You know how they are.”

Yeah, they wouldn’t be on board with the whole living in sin. Though they had supported her when she had me out of wedlock, if they’d been in the community and Mom got preggers, she would have been excommunicated.

But that hadn’t been what I’d wanted to say. I took a deep breath and spit it out. “I’m ready to know who my father is.”

Silence.

She’d never told me. When I was young, her excuse had been she’d tell me when I was old enough. My eighteenth birthday had come and gone. By then, I’d been mad he hadn’t come looking for me. That had been irrational because she said he didn’t know. Still, at eighteen, I’d gone off to college and found Derrick. He’d filled that missing hole inside me—or maybe I’d put him there. Was that why he’d broken up with me? I’d needed him more than he needed me?

“Mom.”

“Yes.” She paused. “I think that’s something we shouldn’t do over the phone. How about next weekend?”

My stomach pitched and roiled. Angry birds took off in sudden flight in my chest. “Yes, that would be good.”

“Okay,” she said.

She sounded as though she were trying to convince herself that things would be fine. “I have to go. But I hope you have a wonderful birthday.”

“Thanks, Mom. I love you.”

“I love you, too. Be safe tonight.”

Then she was gone. The news that Mom had a boyfriend replayed in my head. Added to that, I would soon find out who my dad was. I never understood the secrecy, but Mom had said it was best for everyone.

A knock sounded on my door.

“Come in.”

Reagan popped her head in with a pan in her hand. I smiled at the flickering light from the candles.

“Happy Birthday,” she started to sing.

My eyes pricked with tears. I’d had a lot of so-called friends growing up, but I’d never truly had a best friend until her. She was the kind of person who would take my secrets to the grave and bake me a birthday cake.

“Make a wish,” she said once she finished.

I closed my eyes as the many things I wanted flew through my mind. I thought I’d settled on something until I blew out my candle and a certain boy with too much charm and an ego to match was my last thought when the flame disappeared.

* * *

The bar was packed tonight. Reagan and I had hung around like lionesses ready to pounce to get the seats we had.

“Cheers,” I said, holding up a shot glass.

“This one’s for you,” Reagan said.

“Of course.” I gave her a grand smile and tossed it back.

I shook my head and stuck out my tongue. Tequila was an acquired taste I hadn’t gotten yet.

Her gaze drifted over my shoulder before she gave me a wide-eyed stare. “He’s coming.”

I tapped the counter and got the cute bartender’s attention. “Another.”

I couldn’t quite hold back the grin that formed on my face. Thanks to Reagan’s warning, the tap on my shoulder wasn’t a surprise.

Spinning my ass around made the world tilt. It took a second for the face of the guy trying to talk to me to come into view. My smile almost died on my face when I saw it wasn’t Gavin. Reagan had said he like I’d known the person who was coming. I managed not to frown.

“Hi,” I said maybe a little too brightly.

“Hey.”

His voice was rough and he was really cute. So why was I disappointed?

When I didn’t say anything more, he added, “Can I buy you a drink?”

The glance I sent Reagan’s way was met with a shrug. The bartender set a duo of shots in front of us.

“I have one already. But how about I find you later and take you up on your offer then?”

He nodded and gave a little head jerk to Rae before leaving.

“Seriously, he was cute,” she said.

I narrowed my eyes at her. “You of all people are getting on me about not taking the drink? How many guys have you turned down so far tonight?”

She laughed. “I’m here for you. Not me. Tonight’s your night.”

“So another shot.”

“Fine. Only for you.”

I hugged her before raising my hands and giving a little hoot.

“Together,” I said.

We lifted our glasses, clinked them together, and downed them as one.

“Now let’s dance.”