Nova

I don’t feel as nervous to tell everyone this time around.

I don’t know if it’s because we’ve already been down this road, or the fact I really don’t care what they might say.

I’m happy, and that’s all that matters.

When the doctor said it was twins there was the moment of complete shock before my body was flooded with this feeling of contentment, like I knew on some instinctual level this was right for us. Like someone, somewhere, is bestowing us a gift to make up for what we’ve lost.

We’re meeting everyone for dinner at Xander and Thea’s house, since they don’t want to go out with the new baby, but Jace and I will be bringing the food so they don’t have to worry about it. The last thing they need to be worrying about is making food for all of us. Their focus needs to be on Xoey. 

I look through my clothes, searching for something to wear. There’s no point in being dressed up—Thea already declared she was going to be makeup-less and in comfortable clothes—so I opt to wear a pair of shorts with one of my many silly quote shirts.

This one says I wish I was a unicorn so I could stab idiots with my head.

Sasha meows from the bed and I turn to her with a laugh. “Hey cutie.” I scratch her behind the ear; she leans into my touch, purring like a freight train.

The shower cuts off and a moment later Jace steps out with only a towel wrapped around his waist. Droplets of water cling to his chest and his muscles flex as he scrubs at his hair to dry it.

I get to love that man for the rest of my life.

Lucky me.

“Like what you see?” he asks with a smirk.

“Eh, you’re all right,” I joke.

He stalks toward me slowly and when he reaches me he wipes my lip. 

“That’s why you’re drooling, huh?”

“I was thinking about a hamburger. I’m starving.”

“Mhmm, I’m sure that’s the case.” He grins and turns to the dresser. 

Sasha meows again, reminding me I’ve forgotten to pet her. I pick her up and cradle her in my arms. She instantly calms down. She rubs her head under my chin and I giggle.

Jace drops his towel and tugs on a pair of boxer-briefs. “I’m not going to lie, I was worried you’d hate her and think I was crazy.”

I gasp and look at Sasha. Her blue eyes are huge and her ears stick straight up. She’s adorable and perfect and the best cat ever, I’m sure of it.

“Never,” I say. “She’s wonderful.”

Jace chuckles and shakes out his jeans before pulling them on. 

He buttons his jeans and grabs his belt to loop it through. 

“There’s something I want to show you. It’s … it’s a song. But I want you to see it before I send it anywhere.”

I raise a brow questioningly. 

“It’s about us,” he confesses. “Fuck, most of my songs are now, but this one … It’s from when you left. But … I love it, and I hope you will too. I want to try to sell it. I’ve been speaking with a record company and sending them bits and pieces so they get a taste of my style, but now they want to see a whole song. This is the one I want to send them, if you’re okay with it. If you don’t want it to see the light of day, I’ll understand and I’ll send them something else.”

“I didn’t know you were actually talking to people about selling your music. I thought you were thinking about it. Why didn’t you tell me?”

He tugs on a white t-shirt and shrugs. “I guess I was worried it would go nowhere and I didn’t want to get your hopes, or mine, up. They could still turn me away.”

“They won’t,” I say confidently. 

I might be biased, but I know for a fact Jace’s songs are good. Better than good, they’re incredible. They’re the kind of songs that mean something. The lyrics leaching into your soul and staying there forever.

“You can’t know that,” he argues.

I set Sasha down and she meows in protest. I wrap my arms around Jace and look up at him.

“But I can—I know you and I know what you’re capable of, and if this is the path you want to go down, I know amazing things are going to happen. You’re too talented for nothing less than extraordinary.”

“You really think so?” he asks, and he looks like a vulnerable little boy.

Sometimes I forget since he can be so damn cocky that his dad belittled him and always made him feel like he’d amount to nothing. 

I take his face in my hands. “Yes, I really do.” 

His smile lights up his face and I see him breathe with renewed confidence.

“You want to see it?”

“Why don’t you sing it for me?” I ask.

He shakes his head. “Not yet. I want you to read the lyrics first. Like I said, if you don’t want me to try to sell it I won’t.”

“That’s unlikely.”

Jace could write about anything and I’d still want him to sell it to pursue his dreams. It’s his song, his lyrics, not mine, even if some are about me. It’s his thoughts and feelings he’s penning and he needs to be comfortable with the world hearing them. If he’s not, then he should keep it, if he is then he needs to go for it.

Either way, I’ll be cheering him on.

He steps off the raised level of our bedroom and down into the living area.

I follow behind, with Sasha trailing me. He pulls his notebook out from the shelf on the table beside the couch and flips through the pages.

“Maybe you should sit down,” he suggests, holding it close to him.

“Jace,” I laugh. “Give it here.”

He makes a face and reluctantly hands it over. I do sit down then.

My eyes scan the title and then I begin to read.

Broken Hearts

That day is haunting my sight 

That was the worst day of my life.

I watched you leave,

Hoping you’d come back to me.

I needed you, but then you left.

If this is what a broken heart feels like, 

If this is what living without you is like…

I’m not gonna let you go, oh, 

I’m gonna hold on tight.

I know we can weather any storm if you, oh,

If you’d just believe. 

Now times are getting tough, 

And you think our love’s not enough.

But you’re so wrong, oh,

You’re so wrong.

If this is what a broken heart feels like, 

If this is what living without you is like…

I’m not gonna let you go, oh, 

I’m gonna hold on tight.

A tear drips off my chin and onto the paper. More follow and I wipe them away quickly.

“You hate it. It’s awful, I know.” He rips the notebook out of my hands and I look up at him, stunned.

“Jace,” I scold, “no. I love it.”

He closes the notebook and holds it at his side. “You do?”

I sniffle. “I really do. It may not have been the best time of our lives, but the words, the emotion, it’s beautiful. They’re going to want it.”

“You’re okay with it?”

“Of course,” I tell him like he’s crazy, because he is.

He sets the notebook down on the coffee table before sitting beside it, across from me.

“I never wanted to believe I could do anything with my music. I loved it, I was passionate about it, but I never planned to make my living off of it. I dreamed one day maybe my music would see the light of day, other than me playing it in a bar, but it was always just that. A dream. Something I never believed would actually happen.” He reaches for my hands. “Losing Beckett showed me no dream is too big not to pursue, even if you’re scared it won’t work out. I dreamed and hoped for him, then we lost him, and it was crushing. But I learned I would rather have a taste of something good and lose it than not to try at all.” He lifts a finger to my cheek, wiping away my tears. “Please, don’t cry.”

I shake my head as more fall. I throw my arms around his neck and hug him.

“I love you,” I whisper into his neck.

“I love you too.” He grasps at the back of my shirt, holding me close.

I let him go and sit back, wiping away my tears. With a laugh, I say, “We better go. We’re bringing the food, so we can’t have everyone waiting on us.”

He chuckles. “Thea is going to bitch at us anyway.”

I nod in agreement. “True—but we still need to go.”

He groans and stands, holding his hands out to me. “Come on, beautiful. We have a demon to slay. And by demon, I mean Thea.”

The door to Xander and Thea’s house opens before we can knock or do it ourselves.

“I thought you guys would never get here. I’m starving.” Thea makes a grab for the dishes of food in my hands.

I look down and find Xael clinging to her mother’s leg.

She sees me looking and waves, smiling shyly. “Hi.”

“Hi,” I say back. 

Thea scoots back, letting us in.

Xael sees Jace and smiles hugely, reaching for him to pick her up.

“I can take those.” I hold my hands out for the dishes he holds. 

“Are you sure? They’re heavy, I don’t want—”

He shuts up and I roll my eyes. “I’m pregnant, it’s not like my arms are broken.”

Thea screams, a high-pitched excited scream, and nearly drops the dishes.

“You’re pregnant?” she asks, jumping around excitedly.

I raise my hands innocently. “Oops.”

Thea screams again. “Xander! Jace and Nova are having a baby!”

Xander comes into the room from the family room, his bare feet padding across the hardwood floor, baby Xoey sleeping in his arms. “Seriously?” he asks, looking at Jace and me.

“Yeah,” Jace says with a smile. “We’re serious.”

“That’s great, guys,” he says genuinely.

I close the door behind us and take the dishes from Jace. He bends down and picks up Xael.

“Hi.” She kisses his cheek.

“Hi is her favorite, next to no.” Thea laughs, looking lovingly at her daughter. “Do you guys mind if we eat in the family room?” she asks. “I think I’m too tired to adult and use the dining room table.”

I laugh. “Family room is great.”

“Rae texted me and said they’d be here in a few, and that was right before you got here, so they should be here anytime,” Thea says over her shoulder, as the rest of us follow her into the family room. 

She sets the dishes she holds on the ottoman that sits in front of the sectional couch so I do the same.

I look back and see Jace toss Xael into the air. Her giggles fill the air and Jace smiles from ear to ear. 

It breaks my heart he’ll never get to do that with Beckett, but we have a second chance with these babies.

Thea heads into the kitchen and returns with plates for everybody. She sits down on the floor by the ottoman and stretches her legs out.

“Kids are exhausting.”

“They’re fun,” Xander argues with her.

“Easy for you to say, buddy, you get to leave the house. I’m stuck here.”

He chuckles and looks down at the sleeping baby in his arms. “You love it.”

She blows out a puff of air. “Yeah, I do, for some strange reason.”

We here the chime letting us know the door is open and a second later Rae calls out a hesitant, “Hello?”

“We’re back here,” Thea calls out to her.

A moment later Rae and Cade appear.

“Hi.” Rae smiles, setting her purse down.

“Hi,” Xael echoes.

“Hey, guys.” Cade places his hand on Rae’s waist. “Are we eating in here?”

“Yeah,” Thea says, already opening the lids on some of the dishes. “I can’t make it to a table. I’m a new mom, I need sustenance now.”

“Then how’d you make it to open the door for us?” Jace argues.

Thea points at him. “Watch it, Jacen.”

He laughs and sits down, holding Xael on his lap. I sit beside him, and Xander carefully sits down so he doesn’t wake the baby. Rae and Cade come over and join us. I’m sure we look ridiculous sitting on the floor to eat our food, but if you can’t be ridiculous with your friends, then they’re not really your friends.

We all pile the food onto our plates—some pasta dish I found the recipe for online. It smells delicious and my mouth waters.

“So,” Thea begins around a mouthful of food, “Jace and Nova have some news.”

Rae and Cade look at us, waiting for us to elaborate. 

“You tell them.” I nudge Jace’s shoulder.

He smiles at me, and in his smile I see all the love he has for me. It’s overflowing and it hits me like a freight train. I’m lucky to have someone who loves me this much, so much so they’re willing to fight for me, for us, in the darkest moments of our life. 

“We’re having a baby,” he tells them.

“Oh, my God!” Rae cries. “That’s amazing!” I can see tears in her eyes.

“Congrats, guys,” Cade adds, clapping hands with Jace.

“There’s more that you don’t know,” I add.

“More?” Thea interjects. 

I grin at Jace as he adjusts his hold on Xael.

“We’re having twins—identical twins.”

“Holy shit,” Thea curses.

“Shit!” Xael echoes and we all laugh—all except Xander who glares at Thea.

“Twins?” Rae asks. “Seriously?”

“Yep, seriously.” I tuck a piece of hair behind my ear. “It’s a shock.”

“Twins will be so cool, though,” Thea rambles. “Imagine all the tiny matching outfits—we’re going shopping, don’t even think about saying no.”

I laugh and raise my hands innocently. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

“Can you believe it, guys?” Xander asks. 

“What?” I ask.

He shakes his dark hair out of his eyes and smiles down at Xoey before looking back up at all of us. 

“We did it—we’re grown up, and living our lives the way we all always dreamed off. I think we’re pretty lucky.”

I absorb his words and look around at all my friends, who are happily living their lives, doing what they love.

Finally, I look at Jace.

My love.

My life.

My soulmate.

We’ve been through hell and back, and I’m sure there will only be more hurdles, no one ever said life was easy or smooth sailing.

But with him, and my friends, trusting myself and not getting scared again, I know we can handle anything.