Jace

Nova takes a deep steadying breath as we stand outside the front door to Thea and Xander’s home.

We can see inside, the house lit up, our friends gathered around the island in the kitchen. They haven’t noticed us yet, laughing and drinking wine and picking at finger food.

I put my hand on Nova’s waist. “We can get in the car right now and go home. We don’t have to do this.”

She looks up at me and shakes her head. Her long hair is down, nearly skimming her butt, and she’s taken the time to slightly curl it. Her freckles stand out on her nose and like always I start to count them, but I never get very far. There’s so many it’s impossible to count them all, and it really doesn’t matter. Each and every one of them is perfect. Like her.

“No, I’m being silly.” She gives me a smile. “We need to tell them.”

The silence hangs heavy between us with the words she leaves unspoken.

And my parents.

I know she’s scared shitless to tell them she’s pregnant. She knows they won’t approve of her having a baby without being married—plus, they don’t even know me.

“Ready?” I ask her, nodding at the door.

Another deep breath and she nods.

I grab the door and swing it open.

“Hey, hey, hey, look what the cat dragged in,” Cade jokes, a beer clasped in his hand.

I close the door behind us and we meet the others in the kitchen. 

Rae hugs Nova and whispers something in her ear that makes her laugh.

“I’m starved.” I rub my stomach for emphasis. “When are we eating?”

Thea wipes her hands on an apron—yeah, a fucking apron. It’s almost laughable. Almost.

“Five more minutes,” she says.

Xael sits in some little plastic seat contraption on the island, making all kinds of baby noises, like she’s trying to tell us to pay attention to her and stop talking to each other.

Nova perches on an empty bar stool and I stand beside her, my arm touching hers.

“How was Paris?” Rae asks.

It feels like forever since we’ve been there—like we shouldn’t even be talking about it—but since we haven’t seen our friends since before the trip their curiosity is understandable.

“Beautiful,” Nova tells her. “The architecture, the history, it’s incredible.” She gets a wistful smile, and the look in her eyes does something to me. I know Nova was reluctant to go in the first place, but it was what we both needed.

Thea places some platters on the island. “You guys can take these into the dining room. I’ll be there in a minute.”

We all grab a dish of food, except for Xander who gets the baby.

We set the dishes down and take seats.

Thea carries in a huge rotisserie chicken and sets it in the middle.

“Let’s eat,” she declares.

I pile my plate full with chicken, mashed potatoes, rolls, and skip the vegetables because who needs green stuff?

“How’s the business going?” Nova asks Rae.

“Good, really good.” Rae nods, taking a sip of water. “I’ve got a bunch of senior sessions booked for summer, and weddings too. My schedule is almost completely full.”

“That’s amazing,” Nova says, and I know she means it but I can also sense her sadness. I know she wants to be focusing on her photography and not working at the record store, but she’s just not there yet. Realistically, she doesn’t need to work, I can support us with my trust fund, but I know Nova doesn’t want that. She likes getting out and having her independence and I won’t try to take anything away from her.

“What’s up with you, dude?” Cade asks, tipping his beer at me. “Are you going to work at the bar for the rest of your life?”

I swallow thickly. It’s a legitimate question but not one I like. I went to school for music. I have a fucking degree. But I never figured out what to do with it.

I’m sure the answer seems obvious to most people, but not to me.

I don’t really want to sing in front of a huge audience, but I also don’t know if I want to sell my songs. Most are personal, and to put something like that out there …

“Seems like it,” I mutter.

Cade sets down his beer and I know I’m in for a lecture. 

“You’re too good for that place. You’re talented, Jace. Why can’t you see that?”

Nova squeezes my knee beneath the table. She’s encouraged me so much over the years to do something with my music, and even though I tell her my reservations, she’s still on my ass to do something about it. I can’t really blame her—if she didn’t pursue her love of photography I’d be pushing her the same way she does me. That’s what you do when you love someone—you’re the wind that lifts them to their dreams.

I shrug. “It’s complicated.”

“What’s complicated? All through high school all you talked about was your music—you even pissed your dad off by getting a degree in it. And now you’re going to be a bartender for the rest of your life?”

His words cut deep, especially when I think about the fact I’m going to be a father.

Do I really want my kid telling people his dad works at a bar?

I want to be someone my son or daughter can be proud of. I was never proud of my dad. I don’t want to pass my shame down to my child.

“I’m still figuring things out,” I reply.

Cade narrows his eyes on me. “Dude, you’re almost thirty. You better figure that shit out fast.”

“No cussing in front of the baby,” Xander hisses, covering the baby’s ears where she sits in his lap.

I pick at my food so I can ignore the stares of my friends, but most importantly of the girl at my side that I know only wants me to succeed.

“I’ll know when it’s the right time,” I finally mumble.

Cade makes some sort of noise like he either doesn’t believe me or thinks I’ll finally decide the right time is when I’m ninety.

Nova wiggles in her chair beside me and clears her throat. “I—uh—we have some news.”

Our friends look at us, brows furrowed. I know the last thing they’re thinking is baby. More than likely they’re thinking I finally grew a pair and asked my girl to marry me. Honestly, they’ve beaten the marriage thing into the ground. Nova and I made a universal decision marriage wasn’t for us and I don’t know why people can’t fucking respect that.

Nova looks at me, and I look at her. I give her a nod, telling her to go on. I won’t spill the beans, I want her to be sure she’s ready to tell them. If she changes her mind and blurts something else I’ll stand beside her.

She nervously fiddles with her napkin.

“Come on,” Thea snaps. “I’m growing gray hairs here. Are you guys moving or something?”

Nova shakes her head. “No,” she hedges. “We’re … we’re having a baby,” she blurts.

Silence.

The kind of silence that seems loud, like a roaring train, or the ocean crashing down on you.

They blink at us, looking like they’re waiting for us to say, “Haha gotcha!”

I put my arm around Nova and, when they don’t say anything, I add, “We’re serious.”

“Excuse me for my bluntness, but was it an accident like these two?” She points to Thea and Xander.

“Hey,” Xander defends. “Don’t call my baby an accident.”

Thea snorts. “Well, she was.”

Nova shakes her head. “No, this baby was most definitely planned and wanted.”

Our friends continue to look at us like we’re crazy. I can’t say I didn’t expect it, but it makes me angry on Nova’s behalf. She doesn’t deserve this.

When I can’t take the silence anymore, I growl, “Can’t you guys be fucking happy for us?”

Thea shakes her head. “It’s not that we’re not happy, I think we’re all shocked. No offense, but the way you two are, and then the no marriage thing, I think we all assumed that meant no babies too.”

“Well, you were wrong.”

“Does this mean you guys are going to get married now?” Rae asks.

“What does marriage have to do with raising a child? There are plenty of married people who are shit at it. I think Nova’s parents are proof. Owen’s too.” I’d say mine too, but my mom … She was fucking wonderful. It was my dad who was an asshole.

Rae swallows. “I don’t know, I thought it might be easier.”

“Easier how?”

“You know, to explain. Do you want your child growing up with parents who aren’t married?”

“What does it matter?” I snap, my anger simmering beneath my skin ready to boil over. “If we’re good parents and take care of our kid and are there for them that’s what matters.”

I don’t know why it’s such a hard fucking concept to grasp. A ring doesn’t unite you, a ring doesn’t make you a decent human being, what’s in your heart does.

Rae looks at me wide-eyed and her cheeks flush with shame.

Good.

“This is what we want,” I tell them, since Nova’s silent at my side, hurt radiating off her. “We want a family and we didn’t want to wait any longer. This child is going to be so loved by us and it won’t matter whether we’re married or not, because there will be no doubt in our child’s mind that I love his or her mother, and she loves me.”

I take a deep breath, using it to calm and center myself. I don’t like to lose my temper like this, but the fact Nova was so nervous to tell them and they act exactly as she and even I expected pisses me the fuck off.

“I’m sorry,” Rae says, and her tone is sincere. “I’m happy for you guys. Even though we’re not related by blood, I can’t wait to be that baby’s auntie.”

Nova exhales a sigh of relief and murmurs, “Thank you.”

“If it’s a girl, you can have some of Xael’s clothes if you want. She’s a beast and outgrows everything in a day, I swear,” Thea says.

Nova laughs and I feel my body relax by a smidge.

All that matters to me is how she feels. That’ll always be the most important thing to me.

“Well, I personally think Xael will love having a playmate,” Xander says with a smile and I nod at him in thanks.

If there’s anyone you can count on to be positive it’s Xander. 

Nova’s hand finds mine and she looks up at me with a small smile. 

This is the biggest adventure we’re ever going to go on, and I wouldn’t want to do it with anyone else.