Chapter 8
Mateo
Why is he saying that stuff? Why does he care? Chase doesn’t even know me but he’s talking to me like he really wants to know me. Then again, that’s his job. Fuck, he’s good. I’m actually tempted to talk about this for the first time in my life. I’ve never even considered telling anyone about my past until right now. But he’s right about one thing. I don’t owe a clean goodbye to anyone.
If I tell him my story, then the burden is on him. He can do whatever the hell he wants with it after I’m gone. He’s probably got some kind of responsibility to report the shit he hears about from crazy people like me. But that doesn’t matter to me. I’ll be long gone before he even realizes I’m telling the truth.
My nightmares don’t seem real. I watch them play out from outside of my body, like I’m watching a movie. And even then, it’s like a cheesy movie that wouldn’t get any stars and would go straight to Netflix. Who would watch that? What kind of sicko would want to spend their time being entertained by something so vile and disgusting.
Not me. And definitely not Chase.
“I’ll get out of your hair now.” I pull out of his reach and square up my shoulders. “Thanks for your hospitality.”
Chase reaches for my hand to stop me before I’m fully standing up. “Please don’t leave. Just give me a few days. We can hang out and swim or whatever. Just give me the weekend to put my degree to use. Who knows, maybe I’ll actually be able to help you. If not, at least I can tell Johnny I did everything I could before letting you leave.”
“You don’t need to waste your time with me.” I glance at the clock on the microwave. “It’s still early. Maybe you can get to work before your sub shows up.”
He shrugs and grabs the forgotten breakfast dishes. “Nah, I never take days off. I was thinking maybe we’d go on a hike or something.”
“Seriously?” I throw my head back and laugh. How did I end up with a wannabe psycho analyst who has to be exercising every minute of the day? “I don’t exactly have clothes or boots for a hike.”
“We’ll go shopping.” He raises an eyebrow, imploring me to play along. “I’m only asking for the weekend. Indulge me in this, please. I never have company.”
I’m just about to protest when his phone rings. He glances at the screen then shows it to me. It’s Johnny. With a sexy grin on his face, he answers the call. “Hey, Johnny. I’d love to talk but Mateo and I are about to go hiking in the canyon.”
He pauses for a second then carries the dishes to the sink so I can’t hear what Johnny’s saying on the other end of the line.
“Yeah, we’re good here. Mateo’s gonna hang with me this weekend so I don’t have to eat and watch movies alone.”
Chase chuckles and shakes his head with his back facing me. “Fuck off. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Thanks for calling off the dogs,” I say as I carry my mug to the counter for a refill.
Chase places his hand on my shoulder and waits for me to look up at him. “I’m a man on a mission, Mateo. And I don’t like to fail.”
I wish I could promise him he’d be successful, but the truth is, he’s in for a world of disappointment. Just because I’m open to hanging out with him for the day, and possibly the weekend, that does not mean I’ll be miraculously healed by Monday. But now that I know I only have a few days left in this life, I’m actually looking forward to hanging out like a regular guy. I’ve never really done that before and there’s something kind of freeing about it.
“Whatever. Let’s just get this mission started.”
***
Despite my reluctance, and stating point blank that Chase doesn’t need to buy me anything, he drives me to a sporting goods store and buys me a pair of hiking boots, a few pairs of shorts, t-shirts, underwear, and sleep clothes. It’s way too much and too generous, but Chase acts like it doesn’t matter and that he wants to do it. So, I let him.
Tanner can pay him back with the money I earned at The Vault after I’m gone.
We head back to his house and get ready for this hike he’s determined we take. Chase’s house is at the end of a cul-de-sac that opens to public park land. We walk down the street until we hit the dirt trail he claims in a gentle hill.
Unfortunately for me, what he calls a hill looks more like a small mountain to me.
The path becomes rocky after we pass an area where new homes are going to be built. The untouched soil is packed firm in some areas, but as we begin our assent, more of the rocks are loose, especially at the edge of the trail. I’m already starting to breathe heavily, but the fresh air feels good in my lungs.
Chase is like a pro, dodging larger rocks and easily winding up the path. When we hit a point where the path ends, I stop in my tracks and turn around. “Well, that was fun.”
Chase chuckles and grabs my hand. His touch sends an electric current through me, but I try to ignore it and the warm sensation that comes with it. “Not so fast. We’re going up.”
I look at the side of the rocky cliff in front of us, confused. “Up that?”
“Yes.” He grins. “Come on. It looks worse than it is. I climb this all the time.”
“And how many times have you fallen?” I swallow the lump forming in my throat and consider whether he’s trying to kill me off himself. It’s not that I’m afraid of heights but falling from the edge of this mountain doesn’t sound like a quick way to go.
“Just trust me, okay?”
I nod, slowly moving forward and watching Chase as he takes the lead. The side we’re climbing is only about fifteen feet tall, but for someone like me who has never climbed before, it seems like a hundred.
Chase finds footing on one of the protruding rocks while placing his hand on another that’s sticking out farther up. He makes quick work of lifting himself off the ground and following the invisible path up the side. I try to follow him, putting my feet where he placed his and grabbing hold of the rocks he held.
Before I know it, I’m several feet off the ground and making progress. “Just don’t look down,” Chase says from above me. “You’re doing great.”
“You know if you say that, the first thing I’m gonna do is look down.”
“Well, try not to. At least not until you realize that you’re doing it.”
“I’m sure the few feet I’d fall right now won’t matter.” I grab the next rock and boost myself up to the next foothold.
“You’d be surprised.”
His words catch me off guard, so I look up and see him only a few feet above me, at the top of the cliff. Chancing a glance downward, I realize that he’s been talking me through it without telling me I’m almost to the top. I’m a good ten feet off the ground as I continue to scoot up the side until I can reach Chase’s hand. He grasps mine and pulls me the rest of the way up.
“See, I knew you could do it.”
I take a few deep breaths, suddenly feeling accomplished by the short climb. “Yeah, that was fun. Is there another?”
“That’s the spirit.” Chase puts his hand on the back of my shoulder. I wish he’d stop touching me so freely. He obviously doesn’t realize how good it feels or what it makes me want to do to him. But he’s just trying to be supportive, and I don’t want to scare him away by doing something foolish like flirting with him. Well, flirting too much.
“Lead the way.” My breathing is still labored, but I push forward as Chase takes me on another trail that winds up the side of the hill. It’s steeper than the first one, and the rocks are definitely not as packed as tightly as before. “I guess not as many people come this way.”
“Not too many. Most don’t climb up the side like we did.”
“Agh!” I scream and jump to the side of the trail.
Chase turns around and rushes back to me. “What? Are you okay?”
“Spider!” I absolutely detest them and have an irrational fear of the monsters. I couldn’t even watch Arachnophobia when some of the guys had it on back at the bunks a few months ago.
Chase chuckles. “It’s not going to hurt you. I’m sure it’s just out for a hike like we are.”
“Well, it needs to hike somewhere else.” My tone is playful but dead serious at the same time.
“Don’t worry,” he says with a sexy grin. “I’ll protect you.”
Fuck. He’s killing me. “You think you have to protect me from everything?”
“If that’s what you need me to do, I’m more than willing.” The tone of his voice is different somehow. Even though we’re joking around with each other, there’s an honesty behind his eyes. As a psychologist, I’m sure he thinks his role in life is to help and protect people. But I wouldn’t be upset if there was a bit more behind his words.
No, I wouldn’t be upset at all.