NATALIE

I’m on our balcony at three in the morning when A.J. returns home from his shift at Swinging Richards. He sees the candle I’m burning and pokes his head out. “Hey, what’re you doin’ up?”

“Thinking.”

He frowns and closes the door, taking the other chair. “With a blanket and a lit candle?”

“It’s cold.”

“Candles really won’t warm you up,” he jokes. “Need a fire, or these arms.”

I shake my head. “Don’t, A.J.”

At my expression he tilts his head and leans on his elbows. “What’s going on? You look messed up.”

Paul is his boss, too. How much can I tell my roommate? Can I even trust him to never say a word about this?

Bunching the blanket higher I exhale, “It’s something for me to deal with.”

“Natalie…”

“Please A.J.”

“Hang on.” He disappears inside, returning a second later with his jacket, wool cap, and a bottle of Titos Vodka. “It’s so weird how warm it was today and then the temperature just dropped.”

“Unpredictable Atlanta. Thank you,” I take the offered bottle he uncapped and drink directly from it, wincing at the sharp taste. “Ick, but it is warming.”

“I aim to please.” He takes the bottle, drinks, winces and adds, “Me and you.”

“Rough night?”

“Little slow. It’s always more fun when the place is packed. Get on that, would you? Hey, that was funny. I’m funny, remember?” Handing me the bottle he says, “Okay, what the fuck is up with you. Talk.”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?” Reacting off my look his head swings back on his neck. “You don’t trust me? If something happened to you, I won’t tell a soul. C’mon, we’ve lived together for over a year! I haven’t earned your trust by now?”

Sighing I take a sip. “I’m just a little freaked out. Sorry. Yes, of course I trust you, A.J.” Searching for where to start I shake my head, eyes darting around the stars. “I thought I had a chance at a really great job. It would have been short term, but I could have had a really great credit under my belt, then other people would want to hire me, too.”

“You’re talking about the film.”

Blinking at him I say, “Oh yeah, that’s right. I forgot you saw me working on that. Yes, that movie. The director was giving me a shot and now I have to tell him I can’t do it.” My voice cracks so I take another sip and gasp against the burning flavor. “I really wanted this. And don’t get jealous, okay, but the idea of never seeing him again kills me.” Meeting my roommate’s eyes I confess, voice quieter. “I’ve been out here for hours trying to imagine walking away from this and I have this sinking feeling right here.” I touch my chest. “Empty, you know? Just hollow, nothing there!”

He holds out his hand, asking for the bottle. “Okay, first let me process the idea that some other dude knocked your socks off more than I did.” He takes a sip as I cock my head at him.

“What happened between you and I was just sex.”

“You want some more?”

“I don’t want the hangover. You hold onto it.”

“I meant more sex.” He takes another sip, winces and stares at the stars. “Why can’t you do the film? Because you like this guy?”

“Because Paul doesn’t like this guy. He banned me from it.” I flick a fearful glance to A.J. “He threatened me.”

“What?”

“He threatened me. Said if I worked with Max, something might happen to me.”

Searching my eyes with disbelief, he says, “Then you have to drop it.”

“You think? Obviously I have to.” Covering my face I whisper, “All that work I’ve been so proud of has become my jail cell.”

“Natalie, look, I don’t know Paul’s story. The guy seems like a dirty rag someone left lying around. But he’s rolling in the cash, and he’s not alone in this. There’s someone behind him who holds the strings. Don’t mess with it, just don’t. When are you supposed to see this director guy again?”

“Tomorrow. We’re talking about the crew, our next steps in pre-production.”

“Don’t go.” Standing up he says, “I’m not even going to ask you where it is because I don’t want to be connected with this. I’ve got a good thing with this job, and there’s no way I’m fucking it up. You know how much money I made this month?”

“I wasn’t going to tell you!”

“Good.” He heads inside, pausing. “Be smart. You drive a BMW. This year’s model. You want to throw that away?”

“At the cost of my freedom? Yes!”

“What is freedom anyway? You have the ability to buy anything you want with the money he pays you. Save up a little and bam, world is your oyster. Where’s the sacrifice in sticking around, having only one job? You weren’t a filmmaker before this! Nothing’s changed except you opened Pandora’s box and had a look inside. Close it! Walk away from this guy.” Heading in A.J. mutters. “We never had this conversation. I won’t say a word, and don’t you tell me another one.”

The door swings shut.