“I can’t believe he hasn’t called me!” Simone fumes, pacing in our apartment. She picks up a pillow and throws it across the room. “What the fuck?”

Sighing from the couch we’ve had since college, I ask, “Why are you so surprised?”

“Why am I surprised?” She turns to me, aghast. “Are you serious. Sarah, you know Jason is the first man to ghost me.”

“You ghosted him first.”

“But I always do that!”

“I know.”

She screams, throwing her arms up like she’s going to pull her hair out.

I’m secretly very shocked, even though I’m acting nonchalant. I really did expect him to call her after we heard from Mark that he notified Jason it’s all him from here. I imagined he would at least cuss her out like he’s done with me so many times. The man doesn’t keep his mouth shut when he’s pissed off.

My respect for him is growing, and that’s doing nothing to abate the desire I have to text him. For some reason this week away from the war he and I regularly fought hasn’t made me exhale with relief.

Quite the opposite.

I think I miss the battle. And I know I miss him.

“I wonder what choir he used,” I mutter from deep within my thoughts.

Her voice is agitated as she shoots back, “I’d like to know, too!”

“I was looking forward to hearing the boys sing. I think it would have been so cute.”

This sets Simone off and she runs to her phone. It rings in her hand and she stares at it. “That’s weird.”

The phone is still ringing. Is it him? My heart just skipped in a way I’m not comfortable with. “Who is it?”

“Mark,” she mutters, swiping her thumb across the screen to answer. “I was just going to call you! It’s so strange that you…” she trails off as he interrupts her. Her eyes go alarmingly wide and her jaw slackens. “Say that again.”

“Is it good news?” I smile, sitting on my knees.

She doesn’t hear me. Her face transforms to pure rage and she shouts, “What?!” Collecting herself, she stammers, “I’m sorry I just shouted that. I’m just surprised is all. When did you find out?” As she listens, Simone locks eyes with me, stunned.

“What is it!? I can’t take the suspense!”

“Oh my God…what am I gonna do, Mark?” She waits for his reply, and is clearly unhappy with it. “I guess I don’t have another choice. I’m so sorry this happened. Of course, thank you for calling me. I hope you have a good day.”

She hangs up and stares at me. Holding the phone in both hands she walks slowly to the window.

“Simone!” I cry out, running over to her. “What happened?”

Turning she meets my eyes with a helplessness I’ve never seen in her. “Jason quit the album. He didn’t go see the choirs. Mark called for progress and found out that Jason is no longer interested in working with me.”

I whisper, “Oh my God.”

The phone clatters to the ground as Simone grabs my arms. “What am I gonna do?”

I’m so shocked my mouth opens but no words come out. He’s dropped the whole album?

Are all the little tweaks taken care of?

Wasn’t there another remix?

I’m never going to see him again?

A hollowness overcomes me while she says, “Mark said I have to find another producer. He sounded so cold, Sarah. What if they drop me, too?”

All I can do is blink.

The last time I saw Jason was really the last time.

As Simone rambles on with a speech about how awful this is for her career I slowly cross to the front door, unlock the deadbolt and sleepwalk out of our complex.

I’m past the lobby and outside already when she catches up with me. “Sarah, hey! What are you doing? I turned around and you were gone! I was just standing there talking to myself!”

“He’s gone,” I whisper.

“Yes, he’s gone. I can’t believe it!”

“Oh Simone,” I rasp, feeling guilty and hurting at the same time.

“We have to get him back.”

“No,” I murmur, lowering myself to sit on a patch of grass. The sun is shining on my face but the air is so crisp it’s biting my bare shoulders. Winter is coming.

She kneels down with me. “Yes! I have to prove to Mark that I’m not some artist people like Jason don’t want to work with. Do you know some of the huge names he’s done albums for?”

It’s a rhetorical question. She knows I know, because I’m the one who did the digging when we first heard his name. I had a feeling that rapper knew his shit and I wanted to see who this Jason Cocker guy was.

It was me who talked Simone into going to Atlanta.

And it’s me who has to talk her out of going back.

I have feelings for Jason that are not good for my friendship with her. Something terrible has happened and this hole in my heart is the worst I’ve ever felt, but I’ll get over it. She’s my best friend. She’s like my sister. And I’m crazy about the man she’s just spent four months in bed with.

The man who just quit her.

The man who I want to see so badly I can hardly breathe.

“Prove to Mark that you can find a producer as good as Jason is,” I choke, not recognizing my own voice.

Simone blows me off with a wave of her slender hand. “No. It has to be Jason. He’s the best there is.”

Voice strangled, I argue, “That’s an exaggeration.”

“I know you don’t like the guy, personally, Sarah, but you have to admit he is an amazing producer. And it’s not only that. He dumped me! I have to get him back. I have to make him pay! He’s going to know dropping me is the worst mistake he’s ever made!”

Where is that fucking time machine?!

“Help me,” she begs.

“Oh God,” I groan covering my face. “I can’t.”

Mistaking my denial as modesty or exhaustion or something other than heartbreak, Simone touches my arm and coaxes, “Yes you can. You can do anything. You’ve always been the engine, Sarah. I need you. I can’t lose this record deal. Please!”

“Don’t make me do this.”

“Mark has to see I’m easy to work with. I am! You’re the one who’s the hard-ass.”

I almost choke on my laughter. My brain is swimming with ideas despite my best intentions. “We could have a choir sing for him.”

She sits back on her heels. “What do you mean?”

“We could go find the right choir ourselves and then have them sing an apology. Just a simple I’m sorry.”

Her blonde eyebrows nearly turn into a bow. “I’m not going to beg him!”

“It’s not begging. It’s apologizing.”

“No way.”

Do I really have to persuade her to go now?

Is someone laughing at me up there?

“Simone, he quit. Your career is on the line. You have to say you’re sorry or there’s no way he’ll work with you. That’s just a fact.”

“You say it for me.”

“Oh my God, no! You have to say it!”

Her lips stubbornly purse and she snaps, “Fine. I’ll say it but I’m not having some choir do it for me. I mean, really. That’s too fucking…sweet.”

“Simone, think. Put your ego aside and listen to the genius of this. He thought of the choir. He will love to hear them do this. And you need him, so do what will make him happy, not you! He’ll probably think you’re so sweet he’ll want to do the other remix, too!”

Her eyes begin to light up and a smile curves upward. For the first time I don’t think she looks pretty. She looks a little like the Grinch before he steals the toys in Whoville. “And that’ll be the two birds with one stone thing.” Off my confusion she explains, “It’ll get us back together.”

I don’t know how I’m certain of this, but I know for a fact that those boys are going to melt Jason’s heart. He might be a hard-ass but it’s Justin’s who is cold. Jason’s temper is so hot because he feels things deeply, and anyone who does will not be able to resist the sweetness of little kids singing in harmony right there on his doorstep.

My heart sinks. “Yes. It will.”

“It’s Friday!”

“So?”

“We book a flight for tomorrow and then we can go to that church Sunday morning! Jason said he heard they were the best. They probably are!”

“It’s going to be very expensive booking a flight with this short of notice,” I mutter, dreading it.

“I don’t care! I’ll put it on my credit card. When this album goes live I’ll be able to pay it off anyway. And I have to make Mark trust me again and not drop me from the label. I’d take out a loan if I had to! Come on! Book the flight!”

She jumps up, but I struggle to stand. Everything feels heavy as we walk back inside our building together.

Seeing Jason with her again will hurt me so badly. I know that now. But I have a responsibility to do the right thing here. Help her dream get back on track, the one we’ve worked so hard to make a reality.

If the side-effect is them reuniting, I’ll have to take it like a champ like I always do when life serves up a sucker-punch.

It’s not like I ever had a chance with a man like Jason Cocker anyway.