MAX

Hunter and I came up empty so we dropped by Swinging Richards as a final ditch effort because it was on the way. Walking in we’re assaulted by Christmas decorations.

“Pretty cool what they’ve done in these.” Tucking away the fake ID he showed the bouncer outside, my ginger-haired brother shrugs, “I’m down with it.”

“Better than the cheesy laser lights you expect.”

“I don’t mind those either,” he smirks, heading for the bar. “Okay, if she works here she’s a cocktail waitress because she doesn’t you know, have a cock.”

I motion to the male bartender who’s wearing red spandex shorts with a reindeer nose hanging off them. He walks over, jogs his chin to us. “What can I get for you?”

My brother motions to the guy’s crotch and says, “So is that Swinging Rudolf?”

The bartender rolls his eyes. “Third time in two hours I’ve heard that.”

Hunter slouches. “Oh, fuck,” and turns to the stages where naked Santas are dancing. “Bet they’ve heard the joke of sitting on their laps.”

“We’ll take a couple Sweetwaters on tap.”

The guys heads off. “You got it.”

I smack my baby brother’s head. “You’re an idiot.”

“I’m usually very funny. This isn’t my crowd.” Leaning back on the barstool he rests his elbows behind him, watching the show while I pay for our beer. “Guess Caden couldn’t make it on your stalking mission, huh?”

“He’s on call. And I needed a drink.”

“Beer barely qualifies, but okay.” We tap our pints together and nod a silent toast, eyes scanning the room.

“I see no women. Except customers.”

“Audience members,” he corrects me.

“I bet they call them patrons,” I volley back.

Hunter takes a sip and shakes his head, glancing to me. “They call them walking ATMs.”

Smiling, “That’s funny,” I glance over to the announcer introducing Father Time. A silver-haired man appears in a long robe. My brother and I exchange an impressed look as half our beers disappear during the older guy’s dance.

My brother, only eighteen, dips his chin appreciatively. “I hope I look like that when I’m ancient.”

“Nowadays that’s still young.”

“He’s someone’s grandpa.”

“Wait, he might not have kids.”

Downing the last of his lager, Hunter reminds me, “He can be gay and still have kids.”

“I meant he might not want kids. You don’t have to be gay to not have children.”

“Oh, well, whatever. You pay the tab?”

“Yeah.”

“Your girl’s not here.”

The bartender overhears us and asks, “Which girl are you lookin for?”

I cover my brother’s face with my palm before he says something stupid again. “No, it’s an actual girl I thought might be here.”

Picking up a bar towel he wipes his fingers. “Your girlfriend have a thing for strip clubs, that you don’t like?”

“She’s not my girlfriend. I was looking for…” My words die on my tongue.

Hunter smirks at me. “Go on. Tell him what you’re doing here. Because it sounds so sane.”

“Let’s go home.”

“No, I want to hear this. Explain to the man!”

Stifling a smile I lock eyes with our scantily dressed bartender who’s holding the counter with a question in his eyes.

“My kid brother is a pain in my ass. Ignore him.” I head out.

But Hunter doesn’t follow. Jumping off the stool he deadpans his explanation. “My adult brother is looking for a woman named Natalie who does the bookkeeping here, presumably.”

“Why does he want Nat?”

“Nothing, never mind,” I tell him, wrapping my arm around Hunter’s neck.

As I drag him out he shouts, “She’s the producer on his film and he likes her!”

“Shut the fuck up,” I groan, tossing him on the street. Scrambling not to fall, he manages to stay upright even though he’s laughing his ass off. We’re the same height but I’ve got a man’s body and Hunter just ain’t there yet. When I was eighteen my shoulders were that narrow, too.

“What? We were wasting time, Max!”

I point to my Jeep. “Get in!”

“You still don’t know what Natalie does! Is she a stripper? Is she counting dimes? Does she clean the floors, what?”

Glancing back I look over at the bouncer. From the tense yet curious glow to his eyes, he knows her, but wouldn’t talk even if I tried.

Climbing in, our seat belts automatically tighten around our bodes, “I just realized how nuts I’m being.”

“Told you.”

“When?” I demand, backing out.

“Well I didn’t tell you with words.” Spreading his arms out like ‘Ta Da’ he says, “I showed you.”

Sucking on my teeth as we pull onto the road I think about it. “You think you’re pretty smart, don’t you?”

Rolling down his window, he smirks, “I know I am, Max. I know I am.”