“You have to tell her,” Hunter voices his opinion harshly over the phone.

“I know.” I’m trying to make my own diversion of the truth for what it is. Knowing things that will hurt her when she never gave up on Alexis. It’s going to be like flipping a coin, choosing one side or the other, all the while realizing as you stare at your opponent’s face that no matter what side you choose, you're going to lose.

“You didn’t see her the other night when she broke. Years of built-up hurt slipped out of her. I caught glimpses of my wife, Hunter. This could set her back forever when she finds out.” Just like I told her, though, we can’t start our new beginning on a lie. I only wish it weren’t the damn holidays. I honest to God don’t think I can tell her before Christmas.

I continue with my frustrations in my head when neither one of us says anything. The quiet might be the crucial part I’ve been searching for in order for my brain to catch up. I have to talk about the part of my life I wish I could forget. But I’m skating around the real truth of what will hurt, bleed, and never heal. It’s hard enough for me to deal with it, and I’ve known it for years; for Adriana, it wouldn’t be the same, and the first aid to fix her is dead and uncaring. A ghostly memory I wish to fuck I could forget. Hell, I wish none it fucking happened.

“It tore the hell out of me when she stood up to go home when all I wanted to do was comfort her, to get it all out in one night. Do you have any idea how fucked up it is to hear your wife tell you she has to go home to sleep, and that home isn’t the one the two of you share? I’ll tell you how it feels. It’s shards to your gut, to your heart, shards that splinter repeatedly.” When Adriana left the other night, I leaned against the door for the longest time hoping she would come back. I wanted to beg her to stay even if she only let me hold her. My burning heart dropped to the floor in a near charred-up state.

When I glanced at my watch, the watch she’d held on to for all those years, it was well past midnight. I went straight to bed and stared at the ceiling with long-lost memories floating through my head. My reality blurring the lines of my past. There’s one thing I have to tell her, and there are other things I wish I could take to my actual death because it’s something I will never share with anyone but her. Not even Hunter. My uneasiness about having to share this with her at all eats away at my gut. Calling me back to how fucked up her sister was.

I had just pulled into my parking spot in the garage. Adriana was working late. I was exhausted from work. All I wanted was a beer, dinner, and my wife. It was our last weekend before Alexis was due to get out of rehab, again. Something I wasn’t looking forward to at all.

It was against my better judgment to let Alexis stay with us in the first place. However, I couldn’t deny Adriana the right to try and help her. Alexis may have gotten her shit together when she went into rehab, but the woman came out with a hell of a lot of jealousy in her eyes. That’s why I kept my instincts trained on her when she was around. Kept every damn thing of value we owned locked away. Because those eyes of hers, they watched, her ears listened, and I didn’t trust her as far as I could spit.

My eyes were wide open to the snake who would brush up against me when Adriana wasn’t looking or would walk around in her short sleep shorts and tight tank top when she wasn’t home. Alexis not only was addicted to drugs, but she was also obsessed with wrecking Adriana, and the one and only way she knew she could was to try and use me.

So, regardless that she made my skin crawl, I kept my nose clean. Remained polite and oblivious to the way she acted. Ignored her taunts, turned her down when she asked for money, and did my best to make her see that whatever she was trying to do, it wasn’t going to work because I loved my wife and my wife loved her sister.

She faked her way through her bullshit. Recycled Adriana over and over again. Wheeling into her good graces, promising she would do better all the while her conscious knew she was deceiving. She didn’t give a fuck if she extinguished the hope she had lied many times building. Had them believing she was well on her way to being normal when she was far from it, and then she’d disappear; Adriana, their grandmother, and I would be long forgotten. Couldn’t say I wasn’t thankful because I was. Couldn’t say it didn’t rip me in half when Adriana would worry because it did. Couldn’t say there were times I wished she never returned because that would be the biggest lie I’d told in my life. She had everyone right where she wanted them, and we all knew it.

They say to love the addict and hate the addiction. I never knew the real Alexis other than the addict, never met the woman Adriana would tell me she missed. Found it hard to believe a woman like her ever existed. All I saw was the one who ripped a hole through her sister’s heart. Deceived her, used her. And to this day, I swear she hated her more than she loved her drugs. Alexis would soar high, while my wife burrowed further into hell every fucking time.

I should have said something about how she begged me for money a few times. How she told me she would suck my dick and I could fuck her whenever I wanted. She vowed to never tell as long as I gave her money. I laughed in her face. Walked away every damn time when all I wanted to do was kill the bitch.

I couldn’t tell Adriana what she was doing. I loved her too much. Plus, she never gave up hope. It was all she had left, and there was no way I was going to take that away from her. It didn’t mean shit to the fucked-up bitch that Adriana loved her more than she loved herself. That all she wanted was her sister to come back. I wasn’t going to hurt the woman I loved when the very person she was trying to save was out to hurt her more. She would have to make a choice and fuck that shit straight to hell; I would never play her against her sister. Alexis could play her game with me all she wanted; I could take it if it meant protecting not only Adriana but their grandmother as well. That woman was a saint. Besides, I knew nothing would happen between us, no matter how hard she tried.

“What the fuck are you doing in my bed?” I yelled, wishing like hell I had grabbed my sleep pants before I showered. I was standing in the middle of my bedroom with a towel wrapped around my waist glaring at a half-naked Alexis in my bed. Made me want to burn the bed. Fuck, her being here made me want to burn my entire house down.

I couldn’t fucking stand the way this woman was looking at me. God, she had no shame. No respect. She was a lot smarter than she led people to believe. Fucking bitch.

“Oh, so it’s your bed now. Not ours. As in, my sister and yours? Are there problems with the stiff little princess, Blake?” she probed as she ran her nasty fingers up the insides of her thighs.

“Even if there were, which there aren’t, I would never touch you, Alexis. You’re my wife’s sister. Jesus Christ, woman, pull your shit together and have some self-respect. Now get up. What the hell are you doing out early, anyway? Never mind answering that. I don’t really care why; the fact that you're even here makes me ill.” This woman could easily manipulate people to do whatever the fuck she wanted them to. I was tired of trying with her. I was over her the first day I met her. There are times when a person can push another too far. This woman had overridden her welcome in my eyes a long time ago. I felt sick, violated. God, I hated her. I really fucking did. If Adriana didn’t love her so much, I would wish the drugs she desperately craved would kill her instead of wishing that one day she would come out of rehab and be the sister she should be.

“Not what you’re thinking. Good behavior. It’s only two days, Blake. Is she working?” she asked, swung her legs off the bed, and strutted my way. Her eyes were deprived and starving. I didn’t want to know what she was insinuating about good behavior. She was a crafty fucking witch.

“Come on, Blake, what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.” My skin crawled from the sound of my name coming out of her mouth. It flaked off until there was nothing left. I needed her out of here before Adriana came home. She would never understand if she walked in on this.

“You’re hopeless if you believe that shit spewing out of your mouth. I love her more than anything. She loves you. How in the hell can you stoop low like this? I don’t fucking get it. Are you high right now? Did you bring drugs into my home? If you did, you may as well leave now.” I knew it was ridiculous to try and reason with her whether she was fucked up or not. She was out to hurt. To drive people to the same misery she was in. Only, she never would. She was delusional, as fucked up sober as she was when being high. She was downright fucking crazy. A wild animal that should be locked away for good. There were times I felt sorry for her. No person should have to go through hell like this. Addiction had overtaken this woman, and I’d done my best to remember that, up until now. Not only did she come into my house as if she owned it, she came into my bedroom and climbed onto my bed. The one I held sacred with my wife, and that alone made me lose any sign of hope she would be cured. She didn’t fucking care. Christ, I hated myself for thinking this way. I honestly did. She’d driven me there, and I couldn’t help it; it was the way I felt.

Alexis used to be a pretty woman judging from the pictures I’d seen. She was stunning at our wedding. Adriana was not only happy about us getting married, she was thrilled that day to see her sister hadn’t ruined it for her. While me, I couldn’t have cared less if she even showed up. Sort of wished she wouldn’t have just so Adriana could see how hopeless she was.

“Not sure where she is. I don’t keep tabs on her. It’s called trust, Alexis. Ever heard of it?” She rolled her eyes; I turned to back out of my room. She could stay here all she wanted. I’d much rather surprise Adriana, watch her dance while she worked. See her bite her bottom lip when she was deep in concentration. My dick started to get hard just thinking about that mouth.

“Trust? I lost trust in people a long time ago. Especially my sister. She’s a spoiled little brat who has everything I wanted. She has a career, a business, our grandmother, and you. She did this to me. She’s the one who makes me crave because she took it all away from me. If you don’t give me money, I’ll tell her you’ve been coming onto me, and we’ll see who she trusts more.” Oh, fuck no. She did not just threaten me.

“You fucking bitch.”

I whipped around and jerked her arm, nearly loosening it from the socket. My towel fell to the floor. The grip I had on her didn’t faze her in the bit.

“Well now, it sure doesn’t appear he has the trust you claim to have.” Her eyes drifted down to my dick. I bent for the towel at the same time she flung her free hand out to grab him. When she wrapped around him tightly, he instantly went flaccid. Her disgusting hand started squeezing hard. Vomit rose, my head spun, and all I could see were my hands around her scrawny little neck. I felt dirty.

“Take your fucking hands off me, or so help me God, I’ll fucking kill you.” I jerked away from her and grabbed my suit pants from the floor while picturing Adriana walking in on this. I pulled up my pants and shoved my hands in my pockets to prevent me from following through with my threat. I wanted her out of my sight, out of my home, and out of our lives.

“Get the hell out of here. Haven’t you done enough?” I seethed at this woman who was so messed up she was making another unsuccessful attempt to destroy her sister. Fuck, I’d never wanted to hit a woman until now.

“You’re an asshole,” she sneered. The leech backed away with a slew of curse words flying out of her nasty mouth.

“And you’re the whore who is killing her sister, your life, and everyone who cares about you. No one did this but you.” It was no use trying to reason with her. She had nothing but hate expelling out of those junked-up veins.

“You wait. I’m going to find a way to get my revenge on her, and when I do, you’ll lose her the same way I’ve lost everything.” She raised her hand to hit me. I stopped it mid-air. I couldn’t believe she would do something like this to her own flesh and blood. Didn’t surprise me, though, seeing that she didn’t give a fuck about herself. It sickened me to the point I wished she would disappear. Forever.

“Last fucking warning. If I find out you opened your lying, fat mouth, I promise you’ll be back on the streets. You’ll be left with nothing. You should be thanking me right now for what we’re doing for you, or you’d be in the ground next to your parents. Get the fuck away from me and take my warning with you.” It didn’t matter that she was the one who stomped on the help we were offering her. I just overstepped my bounds with what I said. Guilt ate away at my tongue like acid. I should have never said that, not when Adriana claimed the loss of their parents was what started Alexis’s use of heavy drugs in the first place. Right then, I couldn’t find it in me to care if she snapped again. She had me so pissed off I could have choked her.

That was the last time she attempted to coax money out of me. It was the first time she threatened me. The only time. And she meant every word of it. I just didn’t know she would go as far as she did.

“I can’t say I know what either one of you are feeling, Blake. What I can say is, you’re a better man than you’re giving yourself credit for. That woman not only put Adriana through hell, but she did you, too. She put her sister and you in danger. Destroyed her in an unforgivable way, and despite what Alexis did, you still put your wife first when she didn’t. To me, to Adriana, who knows you better than anyone, that’s a sign of a better person. A bigger person. And no matter how much it hurts you or her, I would think that the love you two share is much larger than you think.”

His words are filled with truth. They’re also filled unknowingly with the secret I can never tell him. I need to shove it behind me, bury it with her sister, or it will eat me until I expose myself.

“Love is the root to all of this, Hunter. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t love her more than anything.” My heart rests heavily in my chest. Why I feel like I’m the villain in all of this beats the fuck out of me. It has to be the love I have for her. She’s been hurt so much in her life that all she deserves is happiness.

“It is. After all this time, I think you're finally grasping what I told you a few days ago. Something brought her here. Something made her grandmother choose this place. It’s not up to you to figure out what that something is, Blake. It’s up to you to quit blaming yourself in the same way she needs to.”