“Adriana,” I whisper. Perfection amongst a world full of imperfection. “Goddamn, it’s really you.”

Right in front of me is the most exotic sight I have ever witnessed. It will be stuck in my memory for the rest of my life. In the form of a magnificently shaped ass. The longest slant of a back on a woman I have ever seen. Darker, thicker burgundy-colored hair than I remember. “Damn, Adriana, you’re hot as fuck, so what in the hell do you think you’re doing?” Son of a bitch.

I adjust my dick, palm him through my jeans. I’m one dirty-thinking motherfucker right now. Always have been, to be honest. Especially with her. I love whispering the things I’d like to do or what I want Adriana to do, and right now, I’d give just about anything to have my cock in my hands. Stroking him in a hurried frenzy while visualizing coming all over the sweet globes of her ass. I can’t help myself.

I feel sorry for anyone who would dare to interrupt me right now. I'd kill them if they ended this fantasy come to life.

Leisurely, I recline my seat, sit back for my own personal show, and feel a bit guilty that I’m staring at an ass that I once palmed in my hands many times. Especially after everything I’ve put her through. However, I’m a man in love with everything about the woman who is torturing me in ways she has no idea she’s doing; and if the tempting, long, red-haired vixen who hasn’t shown her face to me yet didn’t want people to see her in the display window on all fours with her tight ass in the air, then she should have shut off the lights, put up some sort of barrier to stop men like me from watching her. I’m surprised there isn’t a line of men out here. The few who stopped and watched already have my blood turning into red-hot lava ready to erupt all over them. Sodden their eyelids closed for looking at something they shouldn’t. Which, for a man who has never become jealous over a woman except with her, should be my first sign to get my ass out of the vehicle and demand her to open the doors so I can spank her behind red. Turn it bright. Punish her for tempting me. The only way she’s yours anymore is on paper, and that’s not something she’s aware of.

I don’t give a fuck about that right now. I’m sitting here mesmerized. Unable to focus on a damn thing. Except her. Fuck what I came down here for. At least for a damn minute. This is a hell of a lot better. I’ll regret it later when I’m in bed stroking my dick to this memory.

I keep my eyes trained to her backside for God knows how long as she remains in the same position, fiddling with what appears to be several pieces of lingerie on the floor. People come and go. Gawk and then continue on. Good riddance, fuckers. Because I remember all too well how this woman can stay on her knees when she’s sucking my hard, throbbing cock while my eyes roll around in the back of my head. Christ, I’m a sick man.

My dick jerks when she stands. All that flaming-red, thick hair flows down her back. I groan. My fingers grip the steering wheel, white knuckling until I feel a twinge of pain shoot up my arm. “Fucking hell.” The teeth on my zipper are ready to rip the hell apart. I want my hands in her hair, my palms framing her head, angling it back so I can take advantage of all her creamy-white skin up and down her neck.

All of a sudden, a woman shows up. Heidi. Fucking hell. After all this time, the first time I talk to her will not be with her best friend here. Heidi will kill me for real this time. I have no doubt she would blow my head off if given a chance.

Firestorms shoot from my eyes when a guy with a beanie on his head wraps his arms around Adriana. Whoever the hell this guy is better not be with her, or I may blow the hell up. The guy kisses her cheek, and every bone in my body nearly snaps in half. Anger floats lazily on its back through my veins with a big smile on its face, telling me she’s with someone else. You left her, you dumb fuck. What the hell did you expect?

I’m pissed Hunter didn’t warn me about this. I growl. Ferociously. I don’t give two fucks if she’s with someone else or not. She’s mine. Adriana is going to come back to me. I hope. I pray. And Christ, do I want her, too. Need.

My hands drop to my legs, nails digging into my thighs, my eyes burn, my ears fill with rage as I watch the man move to Heidi and I get a glimpse of his face as he kisses her. Holy fuck, that’s Daniel, Heidi’s husband. He grew his damn hair out. The second I realize who he is, my breathing steadies, my hands relax. I tilt my head to the side, shift my eyes back to Adriana, and stare.

I’m ready to explode in my vehicle, wanting to poke my eyeballs out, and yet I still watch her. Still sit here torturing myself. Still visualize what her lips looked like wrapped around my dick. Her mouth-watering, heavy breasts in my mouth. Her legs spread open and her pussy warm and waiting for me to crawl inside. Motherfucking hell. I’m in it. Only now, I’m living that bitch to the fullest extent.

The earth could be ending right now, and all I’d see through the clouded haze would be her turning around to grace me with the first glimpse of her face. Never in my life will I forget my animalistic reaction when she does. I went long enough without seeing all that beauty. I’m suffering.

She’s beautiful. Exquisite. I can hardly breathe. Can’t move a muscle except the twitching one in my pants. I can’t take my eyes off her right now. She’s without a doubt absolutely stunning.

She has a body my wet dreams have craved. Ones I’ve stroked my cock many times to. The quick glimpse I’ve gotten tells me her eyes are still as blue as I remember, holding an even deeper myriad of apprehension that always swirled behind them. Vibrant yet withdrawn. Scarred from a life of pain. I feel her from here. Adriana is living in hell, too. Her life has been one endless struggle after the next with the devastating loss of her parents. Me. The horrific death of her sister. And now the lost life of her beloved grandmother.

I wanted to find her after I had heard she found Alexis dead in her house. My heart ached for her, and yet I didn’t do a damn thing to reach out. It would have destroyed her even more to see me. A ghost who probably haunts her. It’s ripping me apart all over again as I watch her. I’m an inconsiderable asshole.

“Shit,” I hiss. I don’t want to stop staring. I can’t. I miss her, and I sure as hell don’t deserve to be sitting here with the privilege of watching unbeknownst to her.

All hell breaks loose in my head the minute she bends down, grabs a pair of sheer black panties, hikes up her skirt, and lies down on the floor, showing me a hint of purple covering the sweet spot between her tempting thighs. I'm mentally seduced. Tranced for life.

The heavy beat of music starts playing, then the three of them begin dancing as they work together to dress up the mannequins in the window. But her, this mysterious woman who has always drawn me in with her mystical goddess ways, she shimmies those panties on the plastic creature while her sweet, tight bottom sways.

I imagine her placing them on herself instead of the mannequin. Lifting her arms as she brings the nightie over her head. I imagine her in our bed. Her body is writhing underneath me, on me, beside me. Panting. Begging me to hurry up and fuck her hard and fast, slow and steady. All that wild hair a mess while she sits on top of me, moving as seductively as she is now.

Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine this is what I’d find when I came here. All I want to do is drag her out of that building, take her in my arms, smell her citrusy scent, hold her, protect her, cherish her in all the ways I did before.

“Fuck it. I’m going in.” I grab the file, exit my car, and stop dead in my tracks. My heart is tripping over every pounding beat it makes. “Shit, fuck, shit.” I can’t go in there with those two around. This needs to be done when it’s just the two of us. I pace.

My heart dips. My throat closes when Adriana turns around; those crystal-blue irises rimmed in sadness gut me when they look right past me. Is she searching for me in the darkness? Perhaps her long lost sister she has to be missing. I hold on tight. My breathing uncontrolled and ragged.

God, I hated it when she was sad. It was constant. While it was always more than I could take, more than I could handle, she always snapped back. Always put one foot in front of the other. My beautiful, strong girl who I don’t deserve.

I’ve held her in my arms many times while she cried through the pain she endured with her sister. I didn’t leave her side for days when she found the first bag of many kinds of drugs in her sister’s car. I comforted her, listened to her cry, talk, got angry on the inside, and let her deal with her inner turmoil. Not once did I reassure her Alexis would change. She’s the one who built the strength to move forward on her own. Each and every time. I swear my heart stops beating during the long, drawn-out moments when she gazes into the darkness behind me. There’s a ton of vulnerability, doubt, and hurt, guarding her bruised soul. Mine, too, sweetheart.

Christ, she’s still the most intoxicating woman I have ever seen.

“Adriana. I… I love you so damn much,” I stammer into the cool evening air like a fucking idiot instead of a man who chooses his words wisely. Christ, help me now. Years of our life together flash before me. I can hardly take much more. I want her by my side for the rest of our lives. More than I should for the mere fact I’m undeserving of her. God Almighty, am I blessed to be standing here breathing her in. Taking in the sight while dying inside over the fact I can’t draw her into my arms.

I have no restraint left. I lift my hand to wipe away the tears roaming down my face.

Guilt crawls up my throat as the outlets in my head visualize Adriana pretending to be strong when she’s anything but.

The idea of her hating me chokes me up. It swirls all around me until a cold gust of wind slaps me in the face, faltering at my feet, trying hard to keep us together. She can’t hate me. I know she doesn’t. Please, God, don’t let her.

Panic is a hard pill to swallow. Regret is even tougher. Every stabbing dagger is full of pain, adding scar after scar across tissue that won’t heal until she comes back to me.

Her eyes widen. I dart out of sight. I know all too well that dreaded feeling of thinking someone is watching you. My guess is, she feels it.

My wife is lost. Shattered. I completely understand because that’s the way I’ve felt without her. Only, I didn’t realize how lost I was until I heard she moved here two months ago. She lives five miles from me. In a house on Lake Michigan her grandmother bought for her. Right next to my damn winery.

I’m grieving over the loss of her. The mistake I made has caused irreparable damage. I’m going to fix it. Have her come back to me. I don’t know how yet, but I am.

I look her way one last time. Even though she can’t see me, my eyes are signaling what I want to say. “We belong together. Tell me what you need. I’m here for you. I’m fucking sorry for everything.”

It’s going to be hell to get her to forgive me. But she will. She’ll come back to me as soon as I figure how to tell her I’m alive.