“What the hell do you expect me to do, Hunter? Just walk right up to her and say, ‘Hello, Adriana. I’m sorry, so fucking sorry I didn’t make it home for dinner four years ago. I had to leave to save both of our lives. I’m back from the dead, now let’s start the day over?’” I close the door to the cellar after checking the barrels of wine. I suck in a breath. The cold winter air is hitting my lungs before we take our first step. The wind is howling, and the chill off the lake is blowing this crap all over the place. It’s going to be a hard winter. I can feel it already.

I pull my hat down over my ears as we start to make our way back to the house I’ve tried to make a home. It’s more like my own Goddamn prison.

It’s my wedding anniversary, and I’m pissed. Therefore, I’m not in the mood to rehash why I should be going to see my wife. Especially today. I’m angered out of my Goddamn head that I’m not off somewhere making love to her. Cherishing her in the ways she should be. Fucking her until she can’t take it anymore. Hearing her say my name while I whisper every dirty thing I want to do to her. All the things couples in love do; normal couples, anyway.

I’m far from normal. Aren’t we all in one way or another?

From the first moment I laid eyes on her, I wanted her. The feisty, gorgeous girl underneath the tree. The one whose mouth I had to kiss the second her tongue darted out when she chewed me a new one for accidentally breaking her lens. I had to find out who she was. I begged every person I knew on that campus to help me find her. I struck it lucky when someone told me her name. That mouth of hers has always been my weakness even when I’ve done my best to control her. Which I never succeeded at. She literally brought me to my knees with that mouth. God, I miss her.

My cock stirs to life.

All I’ve been doing is telling myself I’m done wishing to hear her moan my name as I drive into her from behind or hear those soft little noises coming out her lively mouth when I shut her up with my cock. It isn’t going to be easy to convince her why I had to leave and why I stayed away. She may never forgive me. But I’ll be damned if I’m not going to try. I’ll never let her go. That is if I’m lucky enough to get her back.

“No, that’s not what I’m telling you to do. I’m telling you to pull your fucking head out of your ass and get a plan together. Fate is what brought her here. Her grandmother didn’t know you were here, didn’t know you were alive when she started searching for a slice of heaven away from all the hell her granddaughter was living in. I mean, come on, I didn’t even know she bought a place until she showed up with the title, asking me to put it in her will. But you’re here, or the strong man I used to know. You belong to her, she belongs to you, and you know as well as I do that you need to get your wife back. Christ, man, you’ve had months to figure this shit out. Go see her now, because I can tell you this; one of these days, she’s going to meet someone, Blake, and then your decision will be made for you. Then the man you’ve become will also be dead. I’m afraid I won’t be able to pull you up from this if that were to happen. Get it the fuck together, son.” I see red. The heavy, white snow falling from the sky is changing to drops of the crimson color. I see so much of it I want to punch someone. Preferably my friend, who’s right.

Hunter is like an uncle to me. Even though I hated him when we spoke about the two options I was given all those years ago, I knew he was looking out for Adriana and me as well as everyone else. He could have steered me to do the one thing that would have eventually killed me if I was forced to do it, but he didn’t. One of my choices was coming here to work for him. The other was witness protection, where I would have had to cut my ties from everyone completely. Doing it the way I did was hard enough. Witness protection in a place where I would be chancing to start over while always wondering if the people after me were lurking? That was a ‘hell, no’ altogether. I’m living proof that our system is screwed up. Royally.

I’m glad he took me under his protection. I love this vineyard. What started out as a small investment for Hunter and his wife, Rebecca, has turned into something more than any one of us ever expected. We bought another small vineyard adjacent to this one. Planted more vines. And this summer will be our third year with acres of new grapes.

He’s my friend, my counselor, business partner, and he’s been there through the darkest years of my life. He’s listened. Heard me cry. Has got piss-ass drunk with me. But not once has he pissed me off the way he’s doing now or pushed me until I’m clenching my fists with the need to punch the first hard object I can find.

I sat in my office for the better part of the morning yesterday, staring at a long list of things to do now that winter is upon us. There was no way in hell I was going to be able to look it over if I didn’t pull my head out of my ass. I have always taken every job I’ve had seriously. Pushed myself to the limit. But when the woman you love is mere feet away from you after years of you not being able to touch her, then your job goes down with it. At least it has for me.

I’m anything but calm. I’m fucking seething.

I came home from seeing her in that window and beat the hell out of my punching bag until my knuckles were raw. I thought about moving so I would never have to see her again. Then quickly changed my mind because the thought of her eventually finding someone else, another man touching what belongs to me, made me want to put a bullet through my head. I’ll die if I find out someone has. I had to call Hunter to calm me down. He laughed for all of ten seconds. Then he sobered right up and started paddling in the opposite direction. “You man the hell up, boy. Right your wrongs and fight for that girl. I can’t imagine what she’s going through. Can you?” he said. My jaw dropped. His words punched me in the gut. But to hear him say the words that have been rotting away in my stomach had me falling back in a chair. My legs were no longer able to hold me.

I wasn’t about to argue with him when what he said was right. Not to mention, I respected the man. Adriana has and still is living in hell. We both have.

Then I drank. My mind kept fading back to last night, how she went from her playful, seductive way to a traumatized victim of life’s cruelty. It was written all over her face, her body. She’s on the verge of falling apart, and even though she held herself together well, when she turned around, her face gave it all away. My beautiful Adriana is barely keeping it together. I could see right through her. She’s lost.

My mind goes back to this same day years ago. Burning blue orbs watched my every move, sending blood straight to my dick. Those eyes needed to be staring down at me while she rode him. I lifted my hand to reveal a sexy-as-hell corset. My own blues traveled up and down her body. Fuck, this would look good on her. It was purple. My favorite color next to the nude of her creamy-white skin. She immediately looked away when her sister strolled in dressed in clothes that looked like she’d slept in them. Hair a mess and eyes so red you would have to get up close to see their true color. I went from being turned the fuck on to royally fucking pissed. On our anniversary, no less.

I did my best to pay attention to what was happening between the two of them as my fingers flexed around the silky material in anger. Adriana loved the feel of silk. I loved the feel of her. But the sight of Alexis being here was enough to make me sick. My ears were hurting as I tried to pay attention to what they were saying.

“What on earth is she doing here looking like that, damn her?” I grumbled. I knew what she was doing, and I hated her all the more for it. She was trying to save her ass before I had the chance to try and set her straight. To backpaddle. And the part of her that wasn’t high on whatever her choice of the day was, was eating away at her. She knew she fucked up in the worst possible way. Stupid bitch. I didn’t like her before. I hated her now, and I had every reason to.

Adriana and Alexis argued for minutes. I knew Adriana wasn’t buying her excuses. She had heard them all. All except the one I threatened Alexis to keep hidden.

I was ready to break the two of them apart when her sister stormed out of the store and those once burning eyes quickly smoldered out with tears.

With the garment still in my hands, I made it to her just before her legs gave out. I took her in my arms, cradled her to my chest, and held on tight while she let it all out. All the time knowing this was our last anniversary to be together and it was fucking ruined.

Everything about Adriana mirrors the same as that incident years ago. She’s barely holding herself together. The sadness, the shame, the guilt. Not a one of them is her fault. It's fucking fate. The word so many people in this fucked-up world we live in believe in.

“I don’t know what to do. I had every intention of telling her everything last night. Fuck, I even brought the file with me so she could read it, because I wasn’t sure I had it in me to tell her how my greed in trying to give her the world nearly cost her life. She’s so fucking broken over everything that has happened to her that I’m afraid she won’t be able to handle this.” I’ve never believed in fate. Not until she moved here. What I used to believe in was a love so powerful it can’t be stopped no matter how much a person tries. No matter how many unmovable obstructions are thrown in its path. Love always finds a way. I’m just not so sure of it anymore. This whole thing is a riddle full of confusion. I just need to get her back.

“Jesus, man. How many times do I have to tell you it wasn’t greed? You were doing your damn job, and you just so happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. You’re standing there telling me you don’t think she can handle it. You’ve told me that before. I didn’t buy it then, and I sure as hell am not buying it now. Did you ever consider that maybe you are what she needs to get her through this? To bring both of you back to the people you once were? For years, you’ve told me how strong she was, how all the shit life has done to knock her down hasn’t. She’s still standing; she’s right in your backyard, Blake. What in the fuck are you waiting for?”

“Fuck you. You can’t read her mind the same way I can’t. I know her. I saw it in her eyes. Adriana blames herself for everything bad that has happened to the people she loves. The day I left I told her I couldn’t stay home and watch her take care of her sister. I told her it was killing me that Alexis was killing her when that was nothing but a fucking lie. The more Adriana believed in her sister, the more I loved her. I fucked my wife up. Me. Adriana is hiding behind her lens. Her job. All because of me! Fuck!” I roar so loudly my ears ring.

“Well, you might want to figure everything out real fucking soon. Rumor has it that she’s all Mason has been talking about at the winery.” I stop walking. The heavy snow starts coming down like rain. I’m sinking.

“He touches her, and I’ll kill him.” Hunter lifts his brows. Both of us know words similar came out of my mouth years ago. The backbone to why I’m standing here with him in the first place. That damn night will haunt me for the rest of my life. The sight, the sound, the smell of the metallic blood that coated my fucking skin and clothes.

“Then do something about it, Blake. I know you’re scared. I would be if I were you. The longer you sit around here feeling sorry for yourself, the more time you give Mason or someone else the opportunity to squirm their way in. I happen to know she’s sitting at the bar right now.” Those final words of his have me losing all rationality yet again when it comes to another man touching my wife.

Last night and today have felt longer than the years we’ve been apart. Rage runs through me faster than fluid flowing through a funnel. Guilt is eating me alive. His words become the ultimate breaking point of my patience.

“Drive me there,” I tell him. Sweat begins to drip down my frozen body. My mind isn’t in the right condition to be driving in this heavy snow. We shouldn’t be on the road, but I have to see her. I have to tell her, and I have to pray it won’t kill her when she sees me.

He nods, and by the time we’ve warmed his truck and swept off several inches of thick, heavy snow, my brain is screaming for us to hurry up.

“I’ll get you to her, my friend.”

“I know,” I answer, climb in the truck, and gaze at the frigid, blowing snow. I pat down my pocket for the ring I had made for her, internally sighing when I feel the stone. My fingers begin rubbing over it continually as thoughts of what I’ll say and how she’ll react to seeing me begin to plague my mind.

Only, life has other plans for me yet again. The devil has embedded his horns straight into my side. The burn, the sting as her baby blues stare shockingly into my soul. I want to tell my wife ‘Happy Anniversary.’ To hold on to the look on her face when she sees the ring. I want too many things with her. Things we’ve lost. Things that no matter how much we wish for them, we will never be able to get back. Time is gone. I was given a chance to make things right with her, and now it might be stripped away.

Life. It all flashes before my eyes. From my childhood to where I am now. My grandfather cradling my four-year-old crying body for days when my mother dropped me off to see him and never came back. My first day of school. Getting my driver’s license. Grieving the loss of my grandparents. High school graduation, college. Adriana. Purple tulips. Silk. The flash of her camera. Her tears as I stroked her hair when she would cry. Her welcoming smile. Cornflower-blue eyes that peered up at me with more love than I deserved when I took her virginity. Our outdoor winter wedding. The purity of her walking toward me with white against white.

Screams from the alley by the bar where I met with a potential client. Blood. A gun. A murder. Threats. The police. Secrets. Hidden truths and deceivable lies.

I see the man sitting next to me, the one who helped me when my life fell apart. His neck is snapping backward, and his hands are gripping the steering wheel tightly.

I hear metal scraping against metal.

I see all the lies I told that got me to this point in my life. The white snow is turning red. The one thing I don’t see that night is my wife.