Chapter 7

Alex slept like shit, though he didn’t have a clue as to why. He’d gotten into bed later than he’d wanted to for his five o’clock in the morning alarm, but it hadn’t been late enough to feel this beat up.

He scrubbed his hands over his face, not wanting to dwell on the whys of it. Time to get up and get to work. Hick was going to run them all through the cattle paces today. Alex had no doubt it would come back to him once his body got to doing the work.

Regardless, getting up, getting on a horse, working would all feel good. It would settle some of that restless discomfort from last night.

Becca’s words about Dad…

No, he wasn’t thinking about that this morning. He was thinking about the future and not the damn, unfixable past.

He needed a hot shower and some hot coffee and his head would be clear. Luckily, Becca took care of coffee in the morning, so he could head straight for the shower.

On a yawn, Alex crossed the hall to the bathroom and ran through the shower.

He stepped out and toweled off, dreaming about that first cup of coffee and a morning spent working with his hands. It was a good way to start the day, no matter how tired he felt.

He pulled on his boxers and his jeans and frowned at the now-gone pile. He must have dropped his shirt and socks somewhere along the way.

He scratched a hand through his wet hair and then shrugged. At least he hadn’t dropped the boxers.

He stepped into the hallway and reached out to open his bedroom door when Becca crested the stairs, clearly returning to her room from starting the coffee.

“Oh.” She stumbled to a stop, wide-eyed and deer-in-headlights-esque.

“Morning.”

“You’re naked.”

He frowned and looked down at his clearly clothed bottom half. “I have pants on.”

Her pale cheeks turned bright red and she squeezed her eyes shut. “Right. Right. I just meant…”

Alex didn’t understand why she was acting so weird, but he pushed his door open and went inside to grab the shirt he’d dropped. Surely she’d seen a shirtless man before.

Or maybe she hasn’t.

He shook that thought away and looked around his room, but there was no dropped shirt, no misplaced socks. No clothes anywhere. He’d never grabbed them. He frowned, looking around the room one more time to be sure.

He’d just…forgotten half his clothes. Which was completely out of the ordinary for him. He was always prepared. Always had everything he needed.

He took a deep breath, settling that flutter of panic in his chest that didn’t belong. Sleep deprivation was messing with his head was all. Of course, he’d been a SEAL and dealt with a lot less sleep while leading harsh, important missions.

“You have a tattoo. Of a star.”

He didn’t jump or flinch, though it bothered him she was standing there behind him and he hadn’t noticed. “Are you just going to follow me around and point out the obvious?” He knew his tone was snippy, but he didn’t need her talking to him while he was trying to get his brain to function without caffeine. Lack of caffeine was his only problem for sure.

When he turned, she was standing there in his doorway, staring still with that wide-eyed expression.

“What?” he demanded.

“I’m trying to figure out why you would get a tattoo of a star.” She chewed on her lip, staring at him as though she could see things in his expression he didn’t want anyone to see. Ever. She smiled. “That doesn’t seem very…manly.”

Teasing him. On purpose. It pissed him off even as that band of something close to panic eased. “It’s the North Star. It’s supposed to lead you home. Now, if you’re going to insult me, at least wait until I’ve had my coffee.”

“Should be ready,” she murmured, and then she stepped away from the doorway, and he heard the slow footfall of her walking away.

Alex jerked a shirt out of his dresser and then his socks. His brain was fine. He just needed time to adjust.

And his tattoo was not unmanly.

He headed downstairs toward the smell of fresh coffee. That was all he needed. A hit of caffeine and a few quiet moments, and the rest of the day would be fine. He could get over the weirdness of this morning. It was just forgetting a few clothes on the way to the shower. Why was he so worked up about it?

“Your brain is fine,” he muttered into the kitchen.

“You know my fourth-grade teacher told me people who talk to themselves are insane, so maybe your brain isn’t so fine.”

Alex glared at Gabe.

Gabe grinned and found himself a mug. “Worried about the state of your mental health?”

“Hell no. Forgot something this morning. I’m sure it’s fine. Hard to sleep here.”

“I think I finally got a decent amount last night,” Gabe said, pouring his coffee.

“Good because I’m getting your ass up on a horse this afternoon.”

Gabe grimaced. “I don’t know why the damn things are so much bigger than I imagined.”

“I never took you and Jack for such a bunch of wusses.”

“Watch how you throw around that word. I may have to let it slip to Jack you’re sitting here worried about your brain.”

“I’m fine.”

“Of course you’re fine. We’re all fine.”

Something about the way Gabe said it made Alex uncomfortable. Almost as if he wasn’t convinced.

“Where’s Becca?” Gabe asked. Subject effectively changed.

Alex shrugged. “Ran into her in the hall as she was headed back up to her room.” After spending a little too much time studying his tattoo.

“You ever figure out what her mom’s deal is?”

Alex wasn’t much for keeping secrets. At least not from Gabe and Jack. But at the same time, he wasn’t sure Becca’s past was really any of their business. It was probably one of those things she would tell them if she felt comfortable doing so.

“Not really.” Alex yawned and stretched as he waited for his coffee to cool.

Becca appeared after a few minutes, expressly not meeting his gaze, though she smiled at Gabe. “Morning, guys.” She crossed to a cabinet, but instead of pulling out a mug, she pulled out her thermos.

“Isn’t Jack supposed to make breakfast?” Gabe asked.

“I’ll go wake him up,” Alex offered, setting his mug aside and pushing off the counter.

“Don’t do it on my account. I’m just going to grab a protein bar. See you guys at lunch.” She put some coffee in the thermos, offered a nod and awkward wave, then headed immediately out of the kitchen.

Alex frowned after her. She was different now. Back to jumpy and a little shifty, like she’d been that first day he’d arrived. She wasn’t stuttering over her words or anything, but she certainly wasn’t comfortable.

Which was weird after last night, when she’d been very open and…a lot of other words that meant things he didn’t particularly care to dwell on.

Enticing.

Nope.

Without thinking about it, he followed her. She’d had her boots and coat on when she’d gotten her coffee, so she was already out the door while he had to pause to shove his feet into boots.

He grabbed his coat, shrugging it on as he jogged after her. “Hey, what’s your deal?”

She didn’t stop striding toward the stable. “Nothing,” she returned, not looking back. “I mean, I don’t have a deal.”

“You’re being weird.” He quickened his pace so he could catch up with her. Luckily, his long legs and her shorter ones gave him the advantage. He stepped in front of her so she had to stop.

She frowned up at him. “Am not.” She let out a piercing whistle and the dogs appeared from under the porch while the damn goat hopped over the gate of its pen. While he was staring at the goat, Becca stepped around him and resumed her quick strides toward the stable.

Alex watched her go, completely and utterly confused all over again. What on earth had he done to get her flustered again? Was it because he’d left abruptly last night? Was she mad about that?

He frowned after her, trying to ignore the little sliver of guilt. He hadn’t wanted to talk about his father or what Dad might have felt about his return. All he’d done was say good night, quite cordially if he did say so himself. She had no reason to be mad at him, or weird around him.

Damn it. He was going to have to apologize. Even if he didn’t think he’d done anything all that wrong, clearly he’d hurt her feelings.

* * *

Becca checked the non-work-animals’ water, refilled feed buckets, and chattered idly to the animals. Usually, she dumped her problems on them, but knowing Alex, Gabe, and Jack were wandering around meant not airing what was currently on her mind.

Which was mainly shirtless Alex.

With a tattoo.

She blinked, trying to get the image out of her head, except every time she did that, she only seemed to bring up the image more clearly.

Abs and hair and…stuff. Maybe it was her imagination and her memory combining to create an image, but his shoulders seemed broad enough to fill the whole hallway, and she didn’t understand what it was about a guy with broad shoulders and narrow hips that made her skin all hot and her imagination go places it normally didn’t.

Because normally, shirtless guys weren’t walking down her hallway, and even more normally, she didn’t blurt out they were naked. In front of them. Out loud.

She groaned loud enough that Ron Swanson bleated at her, which caused Ranger to give him a doleful look.

These were the things that roamed her halls. Animals on four legs with fur. Incapable of speaking or embarrassing her because, hey, they ate each other’s shit. They were not paragons of acceptable behavior.

Now she had three former Navy SEALs walking around her house, completely fine with being shirtless. All skin and scars and muscles and tattoo.

A star. Apparently the North Star. It’s supposed to lead you home.

Why did he have to be so fascinating? And hot? Couldn’t he just be one or the other? She could probably ignore one or the other. Mostly. It was just…not only did she not know how to be around people all that well, but she’d also never had to pretend like she wasn’t staring at a guy shirtless before.

Lord, what if they all started walking around shirtless? Becca’s mind drifted to that possibility. It would be summer and—

“Get a grip.”

She’d worked outside all morning with the animals, but she had more things to do today. Horsemanship things. Foundation things. They hadn’t even come up with a name yet, and they’d need to, so they could start filing the correct paperwork.

There were things that definitely needed to be done if they were going to start by winter, and that was far more important than spending her morning all worked up over a shirtless guy.

Probably.

“You ever planning on coming in for lunch?”

She jerked, spilling feed and making a little screeching noise in the process. Did he sneak around everywhere so darn quietly? She turned to glare at him, working on the reality of Alex fully clothed in front of her—and not the memory of him not clothed. “You scared me!” She glared at the dogs, who’d given her no warning at all. They lay lazily, panting in Alex’s direction as if he was just part of the landscape now.

Nothing to bark at or move for. Just part of the place.

“You are easily scared,” he returned with literally no remorse.

“I’m not used to people wandering in,” she muttered, turning away from him and the dogs. Everything felt off today. She didn’t like it, and she didn’t have to face it or him if she didn’t want to.

“I was hardly wandering. It’s past noon and you didn’t come in for lunch.”

Okay, maybe she did have to face him. “I guess I lost track of time.” Which was mostly true. She’d been so busy in her own head she had lost track of time. Of course, her stomach had reminded her a few times, but she’d ignored that reminder.

“Is that all it was?”

He was staring at her with that intense focus she didn’t particularly care for. She just knew he was trying to figure her out—not because she was interesting or worthy of figuring out, but because he thought if he could figure her out, he would know how to maneuver her.

“What else would there be?” she returned, feeling cool and dismissive and full of not wanting him here.

He frowned at her, so she frowned right back. Did he honestly think she was going to admit to being all worked up over him? Not a chance in hell.

“Look,” he said so gently she bristled. “If you’re upset that I walked off last night when you were talking about Dad, I’m sorry. I wasn’t really looking to have a heart-to-heart.”

“And you think I was?” That’s why he was being all tenacious about figuring her out? He thought she was upset about their conversation and his abrupt ending of it? She very nearly wanted to laugh.

“You brought Dad up.”

“Yes, because I thought it might comfort you to know he’d like having you here. But I also understand if you didn’t want to hear that. I knew it might be more of a painful thing than a happy thing, and I was ready to back off. Don’t apologize for walking away if you felt uncomfortable or sad.” Especially since that was not the reason she was currently having trouble looking him in the eye.

Was this why guys got tattoos? So girls couldn’t stop thinking about them even when they absolutely had to?

“If you’re not mad about that, then why are you acting so weird today?”

“I’m not acting weird. I’m acting like me. I’m jumpy and—”

“This is the first time you skipped out on a meal with us. And you’re trying to skip out on a second one.”

“Are you always going to keep tabs on me like this? I traded in one mom for another?” God, that was the last thing she wanted. Especially from him.

“What is this really about?”

“Nothing! Why are you so certain it’s about something? Can’t I just be myself without you questioning everything?”

“Well, the only other thing that’s happened between then and now is… Surely this morning was not the first time you’ve seen a guy walk around without a shirt on. You can’t honestly be offended by that.”

Offended would not have been the word she’d have used. “Of course I’ve seen shirtless guys.” In movies and on the internet. Not in her house. Within…touching distance.

“This whole thing we’re doing only works if you’re straight with me, Becca. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. So if something I did upset you or bothered you, you need to tell me. Connor thinks we need a new roof, and it’s going to be weeks before we get that bunkhouse ready for Jack and Gabe and I to live in. So you’re going to have to stick up for yourself and tell us when something bothers you.”

He just wasn’t going to give it up, was he? He’d keep poking and poking, just like her mother.

“Okay, fine. I’m acting weird because you were walking around shirtless. I am not accustomed to someone all up in my space.” She waved an arm up and down. “Especially someone who looks like you.”

“What does that mean?”

She stared at him for a second before she looked away. What was she supposed to say now? That he was hot? That she was attracted to the man who was or at least had been her stepbrother?

Becca’s face heated and she had to have been a bright shade of red at this point. But it was his damn fault for pushing it. Why couldn’t he let things go?

“You’re not exactly out of shape,” she grumbled, embarrassment so acute she almost felt sick to her stomach.

He didn’t say anything to that for the longest time. Finally she glanced up at him quickly, just in an effort to read his expression. His eyebrows were drawn together and he still looked confused. She rolled her eyes. “Could you just go away and let me do my work?”

“Right. Right.”

Still he didn’t move and she didn’t know what to do with that. She certainly wasn’t about to say anything else. She’d embarrassed herself enough.

Why did people have to be so complicated? She wasn’t complicated. All she wanted was to live on this ranch and do something that mattered.

And maybe touch a hot guy. This specific hot guy.

Okay, so maybe she was a little complicated.

She closed her eyes, frustrated with herself and embarrassed and one million other things.

“What do you want from me, Alex? You want to understand me? Maneuver me? Good luck to you if you think you’re going to make sense out of me when I can’t even make sense out of myself. It’s going to be a lot of long, frustrating years though, I can guarantee you that.”

“Years,” he repeated.

“Unless you’re planning on quitting, we’re in this for the long haul. Together.”

“Together.”

“Don’t tell me the man with the six-month, detailed, day-to-day plan hasn’t thought about years in advance?”

She could tell by the confused and blank look on his face that he actually hadn’t thought that far ahead. Which was interesting. She tended to take it one day at a time because she knew how much could change in a moment, but she had a long-range goal and she knew she wanted to do this for years and years and years.

But she didn’t think Alex knew what he wanted to do in years.

“I’ll be inside for lunch in a few minutes, okay?” she said, working some gentleness into her tone since he seemed shell-shocked by something.

“Yeah. There are, um, sandwiches waiting.”

“Great. Thanks.”

He stood there for a few more seconds, and if she wasn’t totally mistaken, he was confused. A little lost. Her irritation with him faded, because she had been lost a few times herself.

“You don’t have to have it all figured out, Alex. I hope you know that.” His brown gaze met hers, and much like he had last night, he turned on a heel and walked away.