Chapter 16

Grace

I wasn't sure what was more disappointing. Not having him come home with me the night before, or knowing that I was stuck waiting for him to show up again. My thoughts were all over the place as I walked toward DeLuca. Jenna wouldn't have to start her shift for another half hour, and I needed her.

Needed someone.

The deep scent of coffee wrapped around me as I opened the door to the quaint little shop and breathed in deeply. I glanced over at the table to my right, half expecting to see Nate sitting there, watching my friend with a stare that made me yearn for attention.

Erik wasn't Nate, and that was a good thing, but I wanted so badly to have someone adore me, to love me so deeply that he would sacrifice everything for me.

That wasn't Erik. It couldn't be.

I didn't know too much about the mafia, but every time his father called, he went running as if he didn't have a choice.

"Hey. You come to see me?" Charlie's voice called me from my thoughts.

I chuckled. "Yep. You free tonight, baby?" I walked up to the counter and let out a soft sigh. Jenna's boss was the best.

"I'm way too much man for you, girlie." He smiled, his chubby cheeks fitting his persona perfectly.

"Oh, brother." Jenna walked out from the back hallway with her arms full of coffee bags. "You two at it again?"

"Maybe." I shrugged and wagged my eyebrows at Charlie playfully. "I want a latte and a few minutes with Jenna if you can spare both."

"For you? Absolutely."

Jenna stopped beside me and rolled her eyes. "A little help please."

I reached out and grabbed each bag, dropping it on the counter as we stared at each other. We'd been friends for so long that a million words passed between us without me saying a word.

"Come on. Let's go for a quick walk before my shift." She walked to the other end of the counter and grabbed my cup, handing it to me and walking toward the door.

"You sure?" I moved past her and tugged my wool coat a little closer.

"Yeah. And tonight, we're getting out and doing something fun." She slipped her arm into mine and gave me a warm smile. "You don't look so good."

"No?" I glanced down at my jacket and bell bottoms. "I was going for retro today."

"No comment." She chuckled. "What are your plans this afternoon? Can we go grab something cute to wear tonight and then go dancing?"

"Dancing? Ugh." I took a sip of my coffee as we stopped beside a stoplight, waiting for it to turn.

"Yes, dancing. It's fun." She released me as we walked across the street. "No boys, no drugs, no drama. Just me and you."

Something about the idea of spending the evening with Jenna and no one else caused tension to release in my chest.

"It's been a weird week."

"Does that mean that you're in?" She reached out and grabbed my wrist, half pulling me onto the sidewalk on the other side of the street as a city bus came speeding by.

"Yeah. Sure." I glanced back, a little off center. "I get off around three today. The event is two weeks away at this point, and everyone is running around the library like idiots with no clue how to do anything."

"Nelly too?" Jenna smirked.

I smiled. "No. Nelly has one emotion. Aggravation."

"Tell me about this weird week." Jenna dropped down on a park bench and patted the seat beside it.

"Let's start with the odd visit I got from a detective at the police station."

"What?" She leaned back and wrapped her arms around her. "Does it have to do with Thomas and the crap he's gotten himself into?"

"Yeah." I pulled the top off my coffee and blew on the hot liquid. "Did you find out anything about the check cashing place or his friend Billy's murder?"

"No, but my father hasn't left his office in a week. Every time I go over there, he's locked up in there." She paled. "And it's my fucking fault. Well, mine and Erik's."

"The virus he gave you?" I took a drink of my coffee and tried not to let thoughts of Erik overwhelm me. Where Charlie wasn't at all too much man for me, Erik most certainly was.

"Yeah. It was supposed to wipe out anything related to him, not all of the information my father had on his family. Now my Dad is under investigation for the files disappearing. He's going to figure out it was me, and then what? After all he's been through with losing Darek and then Denise or Ashley dying in a freak explosion." She ran her hands by the side of her face and gave me a crazed look. "I swear I have no idea how we got tangled up with them."

"Them?"

"Nate and Erik."

"That part is a very jacked up coincidence, but feel good about your decision. Nate is the lesser of the two evils in this equation." I glanced down at my pants and brushed off a small golden leaf that landed on my leg.

"What is going on with you and Erik?"

"Sex." I glanced up to find her studying me. "Really hot sex, but nothing else. He won't let me."

"First of all..." her eyes widened, "you lost your virginity, and you didn't call me? What the fuck? We're best friends."

"And grown women." I laughed before taking another sip of my drink.

"We're not really that grown. Come on." She reached over and squeezed my knee. "Was it amazing?"

"Yes. He's unbelievably talented in bed or on a table or in a bathroom." I paused as warmth spread up my chest and coated my cheeks.

"What!" Jenna laughed and leaned back, covering her mouth. "He's wild, isn't he."

"Very, but all we are is sex."

"So start there." She tilted her head to the side as her excitement visibly faded. "Wait. Don't start there. Erik is a really bad guy, Grace. You should walk away if you're able to."

"I'm not." I glanced down at my coffee and tried hard not to dive into despair. I loved him. I wasn't going anywhere. "Besides, he's just about ruined me for anyone else at this point. I can't imagine another man being so violently passionate."

"He's a murderer." She leaned in as someone glanced our way as they walked by. "He chops up animals. He's a butcher." She was making no sense.

"You're dumb." I let my eyes move across the people milling around the park where we sat. Couples holding hands always grabbed my attention first. How badly I wanted that life, and yet it wasn't ever going to happen with Erik. He'd mentioned how dangerous it was for us to be together at all at least a million times.

"That lady was staring us down. Jeez." She moved in closer to me, pressing her shoulder against mine. "He's not the right guy for you."

"Back to the cop." I gave her a warning look. "He wanted to talk about Thomas a little bit, but quickly moved into the same conversation you're trying to start."

"That Erik is a horrible choice for a baby daddyDaddy?"

I shook my head and moved to sit on the edge of the bench. "Yes, but it's not like you can choose who you fall in love with. I'm pretty sure Nate wouldn't have been your first choice."

"Nate and Erik are nothing alike, Grace."

"Wasn't it Erik who stepped up and helped you like you were family a month back?" I glanced over my shoulder as she offered up a sheepish grin.

"Yes. I fell in love with him a little bit during all that shit, but you have to step back from this and really think about who he is." She ran her hand down my back. "What he is."

"And what if I ignore it?" I turned back to face forward, studying people once again. "I mean, he deserves love too. Just because he's stuck in a messed up situation where his father is who he is doesn't mean Erik has to be alone for the rest of his life, right?"

"It doesn't, but Nate told me that his mother and sister are dead as a result of his father."

"What do you mean?" I turned to face her.

"Belonging to a man like Lucien means that you have to be under his protection all the time. He obviously turned his head."

"How did they die?" I took another drink of my coffee as tension raced around my chest. I shouldn't have been asking questions about Erik to anyone but Erik.

"I don't know about Erik's mom, but his sister, Delaney was kidnapped at twelve, raped, beaten and thrown in the river about two weeks later. Nate said that he and Erik searched the whole city for fourteen days straight. Erik barely ate, wouldn't sleep. It was hell."

"I can't imagine." I cupped my hand over my mouth as tears burned my eyes. "He won't commit to me in the least. Maybe this is why."

"Good. Then he's not the black-hearted bastard that I believed him to be. Maybe he has some humanity still left inside of him."

"It's irrelevant, Jenna. I love him. If he asked me to run away with him and join his mafia... I would." I leaned back and closed my eyes. "But he won't. He'll use me for sex until he's tired of me and he'll walk away without looking back."

"Then you walk away. This is stupid. I'm talking to Nate about it."

I reached out and grabbed her hand as I opened my eyes. "No. Leave it alone. I want every second I can have with him before it happens. I don't care how it sounds or looks." Tears burned my eyes. "I saw a side of him yesterday that gives me hope. He's not a monster; he's just in a horrible situation. I'll get him out."

"How?" She snorted and gave me an incredulous look. "You'd have to kill his father."

"And?" I stood up and walked to throw my coffee away.

"You're not serious, right? It doesn't work like that. He's the most guarded man in the city." She followed after me.

"No. I'm just talking out loud, and I should stop. I'm not doing anything to anyone." I turned to face her. "I'm a librarian for God's sakes."

"Right." She reached out and brushed my dark hair over my shoulder. "Please don't do anything dangerous. Erik wouldn't accept you offing his old man. He loves him. That much I know."

"Well... At least he loves someone." I tucked my hands into my pants pockets. "I'll come find you when I get off work. That okay?"

"Yeah." She pulled me into a tight hug. "Let's try and have fun tonight and just forget all of this craziness. Can we do that?"

"Kadia?" I lifted an eyebrow. "Is Nate working the door?"

"Yes, which is good. He'll watch out for us, but I'll tell him to keep his distance. There's no reason why we can't just spend some time together."

"Right." I snorted and pulled out my phone, praying Erik would have texted. Nothing. "And the first guy that asks you to dance or tries to buy you a drink is going to get a rude awakening. He'll be picking his teeth up off the floor."

"Nate's not that bad." She slipped her arm into mine and laughed. "Okay, maybe he is, but we'll just chance it. I need time with you."

"And I need you to figure out what's going on with Thomas."

"Anything new happen with him?"

"No. He's just jittery, and he should be. I might ask him to come stay at the apartment with me for a few days. He needs to be around someone he trusts."

"I don't know. Whatever he's gotten himself into doesn't look good. I almost wish you would let the cops handle it."

"I am, but he's my brother. I love him."

"I understand. We'll figure it out together. I just need to be able to get into my Dad's office. You can thank your sexy boy toy for us not being able to."

"Boy toy? Please... he's the master, and I'm the one getting played. I might look naive, but this part I have down."

"So disturbing," she whispered and pulled me across the intersection.

It was massively fucked up, and yet I wasn't at the point of being willing to change any of it.

I wasn't sure I ever would be.