Chapter 33

Greyson

Meek was waiting for me at the elevators inside the parking garage. He had two cups of coffee in his hands. One was a leaking mess. He handed me the one he hadn’t spilled everywhere, and I took a mouthful. It was just as I liked it: black and strong enough to send caffeine straight to my veins.

“Morning, Boss,” Meek said as he pressed the button for the elevator. “How you been?”

“Morning. I’m good. Better, actually. I decided to go to the doctor. He wrapped me up pretty tightly, so my ribs don’t hurt so badly now. He says I’ll be good as new in a couple weeks.”

“No breaks or anything?”

“No, just bad bruising. Like I said, it’s not a big deal.”

The elevator doors opened, and we stepped inside. Meek pressed the button for the casino floor. We rode up in silence and stepped out to the chorus of ringing bells and laughing guests. It was music to my ears.

I sipped my coffee as we made our way through the casino. I was aware of how many couples were around.

At one of the slots was a young woman, probably barely old enough to be in the casino. She had long blonde hair and was feeding coins into the machine as her boyfriend, a lanky redheaded kid, watched her with bright eyes and offered her words of encouragement. He proceeded to point at the rows that appeared every time she spun the reels, and he explained what she wanted to get to earn the most money back. She listened to him intently and then pressed the spin button. She won a hundred dollars and sprang up from her seat to throw her arms around the redheaded kid. He laughed jovially and swung her around before planting a kiss on her lips.

Another couple was hunkered down at one of the blackjack tables. They were dressed similarly, in black pants and gray sweaters. The woman was makeup free and quite beautiful. Her dark brown eyes were fixed on her cards as the dealer flipped his. Her husband was watching her, and I realized he didn’t have any cards. She was playing against four other men, and her husband was there for moral support. He put a hand against the small of her back before standing to order her a drink.

I averted my gaze as Meek and I continued forward toward the staff area. Every single couple seemed to attract my attention like a magnet. It didn’t seem fair that I couldn’t enjoy this luxury with the woman I loved. She was so far away now that it almost felt like the time we had together was nothing more than a dream.

A dream I wished I had never woken from.

“You sure you’re all right?” Meek asked as we pushed through the swinging doors that let us into the employee area.

I nodded. “I’m all right, Meek. Don’t worry about it.”

“You miss her?”

I looked over at my friend. “Am I that transparent?”

Meek shrugged. “I’ve known you for a long time. You don’t get tied up in girls. You never have. Usually, they’re a fling, and you have a good time, but you both go your separate ways because that’s what you want. But this time is different. This time, she’s the one who walked away, and you weren’t ready to let her go. Just give it time, man. You’ll forget about her eventually, and who knows? Maybe you’ll meet someone else.”

I knew he was just trying to make me feel better, but his words didn’t resonate with me. I loved Skylar. That was why I felt so shitty now. I loved her, and I had let her get away. I should have fought harder. I should have told her how I felt. At least then, if I had laid it all out there for her, I wouldn’t have this nagging feeling in my gut that I could have done something more to keep us together.

“I’m just glad we get to go back to our old routine,” I said, trying to change the subject. “It will be nice not to have to worry about Luccio or any of his bullshit. I’m happy that things are going back to normal.”

“Me too,” Meek said.

“Although,” I said slowly.

Meek raised an eyebrow and peered over at me as we entered the security room. Cameron popped out of his chair and gave it up to Meek. “I’m glad you guys are here. I’m starving.”

“Get out of here,” I said. “Go get something to eat.”

Cameron obliged and slipped out the room. I heard his stomach growl as he went.

“Although what?” Meek asked, bringing the conversation back to what I had been about to say before Cameron excused himself.

“I don’t know,” I said. “I’ve just been starting to wonder if this is what I’m supposed to be doing. Maybe I need a change of pace. Maybe I need something new.”

“You mean something new besides the casino? Or something new as in you want to go on vacation or something?”

I chuckled and shook my head. “I mean selling the business, Meek.”

Meek blinked and put his coffee down. He seemed to consider his next words before he spoke them. “Why would you want to sell the casino after all the work you’ve put into it to make it what it is? You’re the reason this place is so successful. Surely, you know that?”

“I do, but I’m starting to think that there is more I should be doing than running this place. It’s been great. Don’t get me wrong, but I don’t want to miss out on everything else life has to offer because I was too busy giving credits to guests and hosting special events. This job is demanding. I can’t do this and have my own life.”

“You feel like you’re missing out?”

“I don’t feel like it. I know I am. I know that there are opportunities passing me by, and they’re bigger than this job. I think I’m ready to start my life, and it might not have anything to do with this casino.”

I scanned the security monitors. I loved this place, and I always had, but I needed to reprioritize. I needed to do what my heart was telling me. I needed to live. This place had been a trap over the last few years, and Skylar had shown me just what kind of experiences I was missing out on. I had never felt as alive as I did when I was with her, and I was determined to find that feeling again.

“Listen,” Meek said. “I think you should do what you think is right. I don’t know if selling the business is that thing. Maybe it is. But this place is also your legacy.”

“I don’t need a legacy,” I said. “And a legacy won’t matter if I wasn’t happy with my life. No one is worth remembering if they didn’t do what they had to in order to be happy.”

Meek shrugged one shoulder and picked at the plastic lid of his cup. “You’d be leaving me out to dry, man.”

I looked over at my friend. “Don’t you think I would make sure your position was secure if I sold this place? There are contracts for a reason. I’d make sure your salary was higher. You’d have more responsibility because you’d be teaching the new owner the ropes. Or I would find a different job for you. I’d never cast you aside just because I wanted something new, Matthew.”

Meek blushed a furious shade of pink. “I should have known that.”

“Yeah, but I should have told you earlier before laying the whole, ‘selling the casino’ thing on you. I don’t want to screw you over. I just need a change, and I think this is it.”

“Whatever you decide to do, man, I’m with you. All right?”

I grinned at Meek. “I knew you would be. Thanks.”

The two of us proceeded to sit in silence for a while. We sipped our coffees. Well, I sipped. Meek slurped. He was a loud drinker, but I didn’t mind. As we enjoyed the coffees, we watched the monitors. My gaze was constantly drawn to more couples I spotted on the casino floor. I had never been so aware of them before, and I knew I was only noticing them now because that was what I wanted.

I wanted it with Skylar.

I sighed as I watched a young couple walk hand in hand through the casino. The husband, or boyfriend, whatever he was, pointed out things to the young woman who smiled and leaned into him as they walked and talked. That was living. That was being present in life and spending it with the person who mattered the most.

Another couple gathered around a craps table. As they played, they always had their hands on one another. On each other’s waist, or arm, or shoulder, or back. Their closeness was so intense that it seemed like they were one person.

“You know, Meek,” I said, looking over at my friend. “You need to find yourself a woman. I know you think they only want you for your money, but you’re mistaken. A good woman will make you question everything you know.”

“Pass,” Meek said with a soft chuckle.

“You don’t know what you’re missing.”

“Oh, I think I do. Heartache. Arguments. Compromising. I like being on my own. My decisions only impact me. Less responsibility, more time and money to do the things I want to do. I’m happy on my own. Trust me.”

I scratched the back of my neck and rocked back in the chair. “You have a bad experience with a girl or something?”

Meek narrowed his eyes at me. “Perhaps.”

I nodded and didn’t press him any further. I knew firsthand what it was like to suffer heartbreak. I was enduring it right now, and I didn’t wish it on anyone, especially my best friend.

“If the right girl ever came along, maybe I would change my mind,” Meek said suddenly. “But she would have to check a lot of boxes.”

I laughed. I couldn’t help it. “Is everything you do a security check? You have to make sure all the ducks are in a row before you commit to something?”

“Absolutely,” Meek said flatly.

I laughed again and shook my head at my friend. “Maybe you’re the one who needs a change of pace. Throw caution to the wind, Meek. I think it would be good for you.”

“Who are you? Grandmother Willow?”

“What?” I asked.

Meek laughed this time. “Never mind. How about you just worry about your love life, and I’ll worry about mine? Or the lack of mine.”

“Fine,” I agreed, but my curiosity had been piqued. “But now you have to tell me. What are some of these boxes this mystery lady would have to check?”

Meek put his coffee down and clasped his hands behind his head. “You really want to know?”

“Oh, absolutely.”

“Very well,” Meek said. “She would have to be able to put me in my place when I pushed too far. You know how I am. You handle it. She would need to do the same. I want a woman who laughs easily and isn’t afraid to crack her own jokes. I like a woman who isn’t afraid of dirty talk and doesn’t concern herself with being ladylike. I just want her to be herself. She would have to look good in sweats. There’s nothing sexier than a woman with bedhead wearing sweatpants and a tank top.”

“I can see where you’re going with that one,” I agreed, thinking of Skylar in the morning before she caught her plane.

“I also like a woman with dark eyes. A woman who can get physical. A woman who likes competition and will do whatever it takes to win.”

“All right.” I laughed. “Jesus. I see why it’s taken you so long to find someone. Ever consider the fact that maybe you’re missing out on some great women with qualities that aren’t on your checklist? You might just find that they’re better than what you were looking for.”

Like Skylar for example, was what I wanted to say. I never imagined I would fall for a woman as shy, private, and innocent as her. But I did. And I fell hard.