Grace
I'd hadn't slept well since the situation with Erik a few weeks before. His father bringing me home and forcing me to tell Erik to stay away from me. He was a stubborn bastard, and when my pleas hadn't worked, he'd snatched the phone from me.
A shiver ran through me as I stood in the small kitchen in my apartment. Sadness wrapped around me, and it was hard to breathe, but I would get past it. Jenna and Nate kept promising that it would get better and that if nothing else, they would watch out for Erik.
Nate wouldn't give me much on him every time I asked, and he'd stopped coming to the library which hurt on so many different levels.
"You want me to make you some breakfast." My brother's voice lifted from behind me, pulling me from my thoughts.
I turned to see him wiping at his eyes, his hair a mess. "No. I'm going up to the library for a little while."
"I thought the event was at seven tonight." He yawned and lifted his arms into the air. "Why do you need to go up there now? Seems like you guys have everything ready for tonight, right?"
"Yeah, but I just want to double check everything." I turned back to the coffee pot and held my breath. Thomas didn't know about Erik and me, nor would he ever.
"We're having a big toga party tonight at the Sigma house. We need to do something fun to get everyone's minds off finals and losing Billy and Doug."
"You think it's safe to go back there?" I glanced over my shoulder.
"I can't live here forever."
"Right, but maybe you should talk to someone about protection."
"Like condoms?" He chuckled and left me in the kitchen alone. My brother had fucked up royally by stealing the twenty-grand back from the check cashing place a few weeks before. Where Billy's death looked like a freak situation, now that Doug and his boyfriend were dead, it was more than obvious that someone was after them.
I wasn't sure how reliable Cole was, but he seemed to be the only person I knew at the police station. I needed to stop by before going to the library event or maybe on my way home from checking on everything.
"You want to go with me up to the library?" I finished fixing my coffee and grabbed my keys. "It might be good for you to get out of here for a little while."
"Nope. I'm fine. Everything is dying down, I promise. Either way, I'll have the twenty grand from Dad by the middle of next week. If someone comes after me like they did Billy and Doug, I'll be safe. They don't want my death, Grace. They want their fucking money."
"I don't like it." I stood at the opening to the living room and watched my brother. "Please be careful."
"I will. There's this cop guy that I talked to a few weeks ago. He's been keeping tabs on me. It's going to be fine."
"Alright." I turned and left the apartment, not feeling any better at all.
It was too pretty of a day to drive to the library, so I decided to walk instead. Everywhere I looked I would see something that reminded me of Erik. My mood had completely turned to shit by the time I walked up the long flight of stairs to the library and walked in. I just wanted to see him. Just once. Even if it meant he were on the third-floor reading and ignoring me. To simply know that he was okay would be enough.
If I were braver, I would have gone out to the Bertinelli mansion and knocked on the front door, but I wasn't. I was just me. Mousy, lame, plain.
"Great job on the decorations, Grace. This is honestly the best this place has ever looked." Nelly's comment surprised me. The old goat usually had nothing but criticism to hand out. She reached out and touched my hand. "I know it's none of my business, and I honestly don't want it to be, but your boyfriend showed up this morning. He's on the third floor somewhere."
My heart jumped in my chest. "He did?"
"Yes." Her grimace melted into a smile. "And if you'd like to invite him to the event tonight, I can get you an extra ticket."
"Why are you being so nice?" I glanced around. "Am I being punked?"
"No, child. I just hate seeing you so gloomy. It's depressing." She shrugged and walked to the reference desk. "Just make sure you're here on time tonight and that you're accessible through the whole evening."
"Of course." I turned and jogged up the first two flights of stairs and stopped. What the hell was I going to say to him? I couldn't catch my breath and felt like a complete idiot. Instead of heading up to the third floor, I ducked in between two huge bookshelves on the second floor and knelt down as if looking at a book.
I had to catch my breath first. If he rejected me or ignored me, I would be crushed. Maybe the best option would be to go back downstairs and do nothing. Not go near him at all.
Every cell in my body screamed in protest as I got up and turned to walk back down to the first floor. I loved him. I needed to see that he was okay. Even if he ignored me completely, at least I would know that he was alive and well, that his father hadn't shot off one of his arms or something.
The nightmares I'd entertained over the last two weeks were enough to suffocate most people.
"Just go. Walk by, check him out and speak if he speaks." I turned and walked slowly up the stairs, wishing like hell I had a few books in my hands. It would have felt better to at least look busy.
I scanned the third floor, not finding him anywhere. My heart fell as I walked through the last bookshelf on the floor and paused at the edge. He stood by the window, a book in his hands, but his eyes lifted toward the sun. His jeans hugged his waist and outlined his perfect ass so beautifully. The thick muscles of his arms and shoulders pressed against the thin blue t-shirt he wore, and his hair was dark and disheveled, as if someone had just run their fingers through it.
A soft cry left my lips, and I turned to walk back toward the stairs. I didn't want him to see me.
"Grace." His voice stopped me in my tracks, but I didn't turn. I couldn't. Him seeing me crumble was too much. It wasn't fair to either of us that his father stepped in between us, but it was for the best. He was in lust, and I was in love, and no matter how I put the puzzle pieces together, I was in danger. "Turn around, kitten."
"No," I whispered and walked toward the stairs, forcing myself to jog down toward the first floor. Fuck me for coming up to the library on my day off. I didn't stop running until I was out of the building and standing at the light, waiting to cross the street. I made it to the other side when a strong hand wrapped around my upper arm and pulled me back.
"You've forgotten how to listen." His voice caused my body to tingle.
I turned and pulled my arm from him. "Leave me alone. Touch me again, and I'll scream. I swear to God I will." Pushing him away was my only option. He flinched when I did, which left me worried, but I held my tongue.
"I like the way you scream." His eyes moved across me as he licked at the side of his mouth and glanced around. "I never was very good with rules. You?"
He turned his steely gaze back to me, and I reached out and touched his chest softly. "Please don't do this. Your father scared the shit out of me."
"And if it had been anyone but my father," he moved closer, his hand moving over my hip and resting on the top of my ass, "I would have killed him for getting anywhere near you."
"Erik." I gripped his t-shirt as a million emotions raced through me. "We can't be anything. Not even friends."
"I understand that." He squeezed my rear and moved back as my hand dropped. "Doesn't mean that I don't want to try."
"I don't." I wrapped my arms around myself.
"Is your event tonight?" He glanced back at the library and then toward me. "You need a date?"
I laughed. "Yes, the event is tonight, and no. The last thing I would want is for your Dad to find out that you went against him. I don't know much about him, but I've imagined you beaten and bloody for the last few weeks. Nothing hurts me worse than to think you're hurt."
"Because you love me." He reached out and touched the side of my face, his expression softening.
"Yes. You know that I love you." I cupped his hand and turned my face a little, kissing the soft flesh of his palm. A dark bruise above his wrist caught my attention and my heart almost stopped. “What is this?”
He ignored me. "Then maybe we run." He slipped his hand into my hair. "After your event tonight. We get the fuck outta here."
"What?" I took a shaky breath as the world seemed a little bit brighter. "You can't do that. You're all your father has left."
"I know, and it's suffocating." He glanced around, and I noticed another bruise on his throat. "I need to take care of a few things this afternoon, but if I show up tonight, will you go with me?"
"Where?" My stomach sickened. He’d been beaten? Over me. Was he serious about leaving? Would he really give up everything for me? For us?
"I don't care where." He moved closer, leaning down and brushing his lips against mine. "Wear something horribly tacky tonight, so I can smile. It's been a long two weeks without you."
I laughed and lifted to my toes, wrapping my arms around him as carefully as I could. I’d ask more later or leave it alone. He was raised in a different world. "And you're not scared of what might happen?"
"Yes, kitten. I'm terrified, but I've never felt more alive than I do when I'm with you. I'm not willing to give that up. Not now. Not ever." He kissed me again, pressing his tongue deep into my mouth and running his hands up and down my back slowly, methodically.
I whined when he pulled back. "I don't want you to go. Things change when you're away."
"Not this time." He tucked his hands into his pockets and turned to walk back across the street, pausing to glance back. "Grace."
"What?" I tried to memorize the moment. The way the sunlight touched his hair, the softness of his voice, the taste of him still lingering on my lips.
"If we stay here and I continue to do what I do," he glanced around, “be who I am... and I could get my father to understand that you and I are a forever thing, would you support that? Support me?"
"Of course I would." I took a step toward him but paused as his expression tightened.
"And you wouldn't go against me in anything I might have to do in the syndicate?"
"Never. I understand your situation."
"I'm glad. You wouldn't ask me to choose you over it, right?" He tilted his head to the side, stealing my heart again for the millionth time. I honestly didn't even hear the question he asked too terribly well.
"I'd do anything you wanted me to, Erik. As long as you were mine." I reached out, and he did too, gripping my hand for a moment. "I love you. I've said that already."
He nodded. "Let me try things with my old man one more time, and if not..."
"I'll have a bag packed tonight. Whatever happens, just promise that we'll be together."
"I promise."
I stood there and watched him walk across the street as the wind blew all around me. He wasn't going to leave his father's side, though it was a wonderful pipe dream. And even if he did find the courage to leave, would his Dad really allow him to?
No. Not the man I met a few weeks back. The syndicate was his life, and he expected Erik to feel the same way.
My stomach turned, and I reached down and rubbed it softly. Maybe something I'd eaten? Maybe the situation facing us. Something had me feeling like shit all of a sudden. I sat down at an empty table outside of the diner and closed my eyes, breathing in deeply and working hard not to let my worries consume the beauty of the moment.
No matter what happened, one thing was obvious... Erik wanted me in his life.
And chances are, even though he didn't spell it out, he loved me too.