15
She let him lead her to his room and watched as he locked the door behind them. Her insides always did a little dance when he touched her, and this was no exception. Staring into the depths of his dark blue eyes left her tongue-tied and aroused. He was captivating—and she wanted him to capture her in every way imaginable. His eyes turned molten as he moved in to kiss her. Their mouths linked with familiarity as their fingers slowly twined together. He kissed her until she whimpered, the fingers of one hand digging into his chest, exploring the light hair that curled there. Every flick of his tongue was pure heaven and she moaned, low, deep and needy. Her insecurities fell away as he continued to touch and kiss her, making her want to be as close to him as possible. She was enthralled by the way he moved, the way he sounded, and the way he tasted in her mouth. He was exactly the kind of man she’d fantasized about but never imagined existed.
He reached down to palm her breasts with his hands. “These are truly perfect,” he murmured, bending his head to take one aching nipple in his mouth. She moaned as it went taut between his lips. The things he did with his mouth made her tremble all over, and any embarrassment over her inexperience faded away. His touch was all-encompassing, leaving her helpless to do anything but go along for the ride.
He moved to the other breast, taking his time and teasing her nipple until she was straining against him. Her breath came in short gasps, anxious for more but unable to tell him.
“I want you, Maryanne.”
She giggled despite her arousal. “I want you too…Wayne.”
Sergei grinned as he lifted her in his arms. He carried her to his bed and gently set her down. He dug condoms out of his nightstand and dropped them beside her. She was on her back, her hair fanned out behind her. Sergei moved over her, kissing the side of her face as he gently toyed with a lock of her hair. It was soft and silky; he loved how it felt between his fingers. He wanted to feel all of her, under him and completely surrounding him when he buried himself deep inside of her. Just thinking about it made his cock ache painfully. Tearing open the package, he rolled the condom down his throbbing dick and looked at her. He moved his legs between hers, his cock pressed against her thigh as he lay on her.
She seemed nervous, so he caught her hands with his, bringing them to his lips. He kissed her fingers, one at a time, until he moved back to her mouth. Though he didn’t believe in love anymore, he’d been drawn to her from the first time he laid eyes on her and something told him this was going to change everything; he was taking a huge risk getting this intimate with her, but he couldn’t deny himself. It had been a long time since he’d wanted a woman like this and her shyness enthralled him. He wanted to show her how beautiful he thought she was and how sexy it would be when they made love.
He found her breathtaking, with soft, rippling muscles and a body that was a wet dream for him. Now that she was stretched out beneath him, he was a little mesmerized. Nothing had prepared him for the emotions of being naked with her. This was somehow much more intense than he’d anticipated but he was powerless to stop. He moved his finger to her clit and smiled, loving the way her body seemed to ignite the instant he touched her. He’d made her wet just stroking her thigh earlier tonight, so he was excited to see what she would do now that their bodies were entwined. He used his mouth and hands to tease and coax her into a frenzy, loving her raw reactions to his touch. He was so immersed in the pleasure she gave him he didn’t pay attention to how tight it was when he pressed his cock against her throbbing entrance. All he was thinking about was being inside of her, and with one firm thrust, he sheathed himself. It was only then, as he pushed past the barrier of her virginity at the same time she cried out, that he realized what had happened.
His eyes met hers and he froze. “Dani…”
“Please...” Though she tried desperately to stop them, tears squeezed out of her eyes.
“Sweet Jesus, Dani, why didn’t you…” He dropped his forehead to hers, myriad emotions whipping through him. While part of him wanted to stop and make her explain why she’d tricked him like this, the logical part of him knew it was too late. If he stopped now, not only would he have hurt her physically, his rejection would only reinforce her feelings of inadequacy. He wasn’t a super intuitive guy, but no one had to tell him he needed to handle this carefully. Besides, pulling away now would be like amputating one of his limbs; he couldn’t remember the last time a woman was this tight and wet.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I was afraid you wouldn’t want to if I told you…”
“But I hurt you…” He sighed, bringing up his hands and placing them on either side of her face, his thumbs wiping away the tears leaking out the sides.
“I’m okay,” she choked out, though her eyes told him something else.
“I should’ve taken it slower…” He sought her eyes. “Are you sure you want to keep going?”
“Yes.” She nodded emphatically.
“I’m sorry I hurt you,” he said against her mouth, his lips grazing hers softly. “Do you want me to wait so you can get used to how it feels?”
She nodded, biting her lip against the obvious discomfort.
He lay perfectly still, giving her time to breathe through the pain. He was fighting a thousand emotions, including an almost debilitating need to move, as he tried to remember what to do to make a woman’s first time more bearable. She was tighter than he remembered anyone ever being, and he took a long, steadying breath so he wouldn’t hurt her. She felt so damn good his cock was pulsing with the need for release, but he would wait until she was ready. Her eyes had closed, long pale lashes fluttering on her cheeks. He bent and kissed them, one chaste peck at a time, waiting for her to give him the signal she was ready.
“Honey, talk to me. What do you want to do?” He waited until her eyes opened.
“I want you to…make love to me. Like we agreed.” Her voice cracked a little but her gaze never wavered.
“It’s going to be uncomfortable.”
“I know.”
“I’m so fucking hard for you, sweetheart. But I don’t want to hurt you anymore.” He shifted a tad, sliding out a tiny bit. She winced, but her eyes remained locked with his.
“I’m okay. Really.”
He moved a little more, and she wrapped her arms around his neck. When she lifted her hips slightly, he carefully pulled back, watching her face. He slid back in, as gently as he could, and this time it was her lips seeking his. Their tongues tangled, and as the kisses got hotter and more sensual, he felt her getting aroused again, moisture gathering around his already straining cock.
“Better?” he asked against her mouth, moving experimentally.
“Yes.” She was trembling now, but there was an excitement in her eyes that nearly sent him over the edge.
“Easy.” He started a slow rhythm, closing his eyes against the warm wetness enveloping him. He pulled out and carefully plunged deep again. She moved with him, a whimper escaping her.
“Ohhh.” Her voice held wonder and an unmistakable curiosity.
“Yeah?” He licked her lips before gripping her firm, round ass and pulling her tighter against him; she already wanted more and he prayed he would last long enough to give it to her.
Each stroke of his cock inside her left Dani fighting the unfamiliar sensations of a faint burning coupled with a distinct need for something more. She didn’t know how to tell him but the ache was almost more than she could bear.
“I know.” He kissed her before sliding his finger between them and seeking out the throbbing little pearl she wanted him to touch. He stroked it erect as she arched up against him. “Like that?” he whispered, moving with purpose now that she was pulsing with desire.
“Yes.” She clutched at him, fingers digging into his shoulders as the ache between her legs turned to liquid fire. Her aroused state coupled with his expert fingers left her oblivious to the soreness, chasing another orgasm like the one he’d given her earlier.
With her hips meeting his, Sergei couldn’t hold back anymore. Though he kept his thrusts gentle, he was moving with ease now, sliding in and out to the sound of whimpered cries that had to be a combination of pain and pleasure. He kept his finger on her clit, rubbing it in perfect rhythm with the movement of his cock, and there was no better feeling than that of her tightening around him.
“Sergei!” Her voice shuddered with frustration. “I don’t know what to do. It hurts but it feels good—I’m so confused!”
“I know, baby, I’m sorry—next time will be better.”
He kept his strokes smooth and easy, until Dani couldn’t tell what hurt and what felt good. She was impossibly aroused, but the pleasure was tempered with a throbbing soreness that wouldn’t relent. Her body moved of its own volition, bringing her right to the edge of ecstasy. Sergei picked up speed, his mouth fastened to hers, his body in complete control as she moved beneath him. He plunged into her one last time, the vibrations making them cry out together. His sheer bulk kept her pinned to the bed as the waves of their mutual orgasms drove them to the brink, barely able to breathe as they clutched each other.
Unable to move, with Sergei resting on her heavily, his lips still pressed to her neck, Dani wasn’t sure what to do.
“You okay?” he whispered at last, his heartbeat getting back to normal.
“I’m wonderful,” she whispered back. “Thank you for making my first time amazing.”
“I wish you would have told me,” he said softly, his fingers curled in her hair. “I would have made sure you were ready… I feel bad I was so rough in the beginning.”
“It was going to hurt no matter what. And the end made up for it.”
“Yeah?” He nuzzled her shoulder, his eyes finding hers in the darkness.
“Next time will be better, right?”
“You’re probably going to be sore for a few days, so don’t go rushing into anything.” He cleared his throat slightly.
She gazed at him, a slight frown creasing her brows as she watched his face. “Sergei, you don’t have to be uncomfortable. I don’t expect anything because we did this. I was ready to lose my virginity and I wanted it to be you.”
He sighed and rubbed a hand down her arm, obviously struggling to articulate what he wanted to say. “I don’t want to hurt you, honey.” He stroked her cheek. “What you gave me tonight was a beautiful gift but—”
“I’ll be moving to Colorado Springs soon, far away from you and our life this summer. Once I leave, you’ll never have to see me again.”
He scowled. “That’s not what I said—I wouldn’t have slept with you at all if I never wanted to see you again. I just need you to understand that I can only give you sex and friendship—that’s why I wouldn’t have wanted to be your first. It usually evokes a lot of feelings I’m simply not capable of returning anymore.”
“I’m not looking for anything.” She spoke the words though her entire being screamed something else.
Neither of them seemed to know what else to say, so she was quiet when he rolled onto his back and pulled her onto his chest.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked finally. “Are you sore?”
“A little,” she admitted.
“Want to go sit in the tub with me? There’s a lot of blood.”
“Oh, shit, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it. We’ll throw everything in the washer.” He pulled her to her feet, hauling her against him as he paused to capture her mouth again. This wouldn’t end well, no matter how many times she told herself it didn’t mean anything, but she was powerless to move away.
As he ran the bath and she did her best to clean up, the intimacy was tangible. Damn, she was going to fall hard. Everything about losing her virginity had been perfect. Despite the pain and discomfort, being that close to Sergei was unlike anything else she’d ever experienced. He was equal parts sexy and tender, as concerned about her pleasure as her safety, and it made her yearn for more.
“Promise you’re okay?” he asked softly, lifting her chin so he could look into her eyes.
“Promise.” She gave him a sweet smile and stepped into the tub behind him.
Dani woke up first. It was early, and Sergei was snoring softly beside her. She took a moment to look at him, take in his gorgeous face, the beautiful torso that was bare for her enjoyment, even the long fingers that had brought her so much pleasure. God, she was an idiot of a girl, letting a man who didn’t return her feelings take her virginity. Now she was feeling weepy and sad, instead of reveling in the memories of last night.
With a mental sigh of disgust, she slid out of bed as quietly as possible and hurried down the hall to her own room. She pulled on running shorts, a sports bra and a tank top before using the restroom and brushing her teeth. After pulling her hair into a ponytail, she grabbed a pair of socks out of the drawer and padded down the stairs to the kitchen. She’d have a protein shake and then go for a run. She was sore and out of sorts, but that wouldn’t keep her from getting in a few miles.
Memories of last night rushed back and forth across her mind like a DVD alternating between fast forward and rewind. She let out a huff, trying to clear her head. Breathing in deeply, she spread her arms, rested her hands on the edge of the counter and let her head fall forward. She desperately needed to let go of some of these overwhelming emotions or she would never be able to face him.
Strong arms wrapped around her waist from behind and Sergei’s breath was warm against her ear as he whispered, “You’re so not okay.”
“I am.” She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to keep unexpected tears from falling.
“You’re crying,” he said, gently turning her to face him. “Aw, baby, I’m sorry.”
“It’s not… You didn’t… I’m…” She burst into tears, burying her face in his shoulder, mortified to break down like this.
“I hurt you, didn’t I?” he moaned, stroking her hair with one hand as the other circled her waist and kept her close to him.
“No.” She tried to shake her head but was nestled too firmly against him. “It’s just… I never… And I thought… But it wasn’t…”
“It wasn’t very good, I know.” He pressed light kisses to her temple. “But if you want to try again, it’ll be better. I promise.”
She sniffled for a few minutes and finally broke free, reaching for a napkin to blow her nose.
“I’m sorry,” she said quietly, not meeting his eyes. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
“All normal, hon. Losing your virginity is supposed to be a little emotional, a life-changing event you’ll never forget, full of romance and intimacy and love…and I didn’t give you any of that. I’m sure you have regrets and I wish—”
“No, stop.” She put a finger on his lips. “That’s not what this is about.”
“No?” He arched a brow, watching her intently. “Then what is it?”
“It was…” She took a deep breath. She refused to lie, to make a mockery out of her first time. No matter what happened, she wanted to look back on this without regrets. “Wonderful. Everything about yesterday was wonderful. I felt beautiful—sexy even—and the way you got all jealous at the party made me excited, happy, like I finally found the right guy, the one who gets me, appreciates me in all the ways I need.” She took a shaky breath. “But this morning I realized it was all that stuff you talked about… The life-changing event, the romance, all of it. Except it’s not. You don’t love me. You’re not interested in romancing me or even dating me and I’m frustrated because I want more of all of it. The excitement, the sex…you. I want more of you, Sergei.”
His mouth crashed onto hers with passion she hadn’t been expecting, but she opened to him greedily, anxious to take anything he was willing to give. Despite his rough movements, his kisses were tender, far gentler than she’d been expecting, and the sigh of pleasure that escaped her was almost inadvertent.
He pulled away abruptly, his blue eyes dark with passion and a need that mirrored her own.
“I want more of you, too,” he said softly. “But you need to know, if we’re going to keep sleeping together, you’re mine. I’m very much an alpha male and I won’t share while we’re together. I don’t do love, but I do possessive and faithful—as long as we’re doing this, you’re not to be with anyone else.”
She glanced at him in confusion, a crease forming between her eyebrows. “But if we’re not in a relationship—”
“We are,” he grunted. “It’s a sexual relationship, but as long as it lasts, you’re mine. No one touches you but me.”
“You won’t make a commitment to me but I have to be faithful to you?” She folded her arms and took a step back. “Like hell!”