Sitting up late at night to work on her paper wasn’t Dani’s idea of fun, but this was the only time she had any peace and quiet. It was Friday, so she wasn’t working tomorrow and could stay up as late as she needed to. She’d immersed herself in schoolwork the last few days in order to avoid thinking about whether or not she would go to Colorado Springs in September, but it had backfired. She hadn’t gotten much done on her final paper and she hadn’t made a decision about hockey, either. At this point, she was second-guessing herself, her talent, her decision-making abilities, and almost everything about her life. She loved hockey, and playing on the Olympic team would be her last hurrah in the sport. By the same token, it worried her because not getting a medal would mean ending her career on a sour note.

She jumped when there was movement behind her and turned to her brother in surprise, frowning. “What are you doing up?” she asked softly.

Zakk sank into the chair beside her. “You haven’t been sleeping,” he said quietly. “Tiff said you’ve been quiet, keeping to yourself, and I’ve been too busy with the playoffs to really pay attention, but that ends now. Talk to me, Dani.”

“What do you want to talk about?” She was purposely being obtuse but she still didn’t have any answers for what she knew what he wanted to talk about.

“You know damn well what I want to talk about.”

She clenched her teeth before blurting out, “Tell me what to do, Zakk.”

He seemed momentarily confused. “I can’t make your decision, kiddo. I don’t know what you want.”

“That’s the problem. I don’t know what I want either.”

“Then name one thing you definitely do not want.”

She met his gaze. “To end my hockey career as a loser.”

“Like not medaling at the Olympics?”

“Exactly.”

“There are no guarantees in sports. You know that.”

“I can guarantee I end my career as a college champion if I stop now.”

“If that was enough for you, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.” He folded his arms across his chest. “What is it that’s got you so confused about this?”

Dani sighed, impatiently tapping her finger on her laptop. “There’s no future for me in hockey. At least, not as a player, and I don’t know how much more I can sacrifice, how much more debt I can run up, how much more I can borrow from Mom and Dad, how much more you can give me… It’ll be almost six months of living in Colorado, running up more debt, living on the bare minimum. Maybe this makes me a bad person, but I’m tired of not being able to buy a new pair of jeans, not having money for a few drinks with friends, saying no to movies and concerts and everything fun. I’ve been a struggling college student for five years and I’m over it, Zakk.”

“But I’ve offered…” His voice trailed off as she fixed him with a glare.

“Don’t you see how demeaning that is for me? My rich, successful older brother paying for my pathetic little hockey dream?”

“Jesus, Dani, that’s not how I feel,” he protested.

“But it’s my reality. I’m not angry with you—this is how it goes for women in hockey—but I can’t let you keep taking care of me. It’s time for me to grow up and take care of myself.”

“If that’s what you really want,” he said softly, “I understand and I’ll do whatever you ask of me. Just think about this: only a handful of people ever get the chance to represent their country in the Olympics. It’s special. It’s a dream I’ll never fulfill because I’m not willing to sacrifice my professional career for a gold medal. So you’d be doing it for both of us. Kind of the way I hope I represent you every time I get out on the ice.”

She flushed, a wave of emotion barreling through her. “Zakk…”

“Let me do this for you,” he said quietly. “I’m your big brother and I love you. I can afford it. I want to do it. I don’t care about the money if it makes you happy. It would make me happy to see you play at that level, but it only works if you let me help. If you’re going to do it, I want you to be comfortable. I want you to eat, sleep, and breathe hockey because all your bills are paid, and you can escape once in a while to go shopping or out to dinner or whatever girls like to do when they have free time… One last time, Dani. You and me, doing it together.”

Tears spilled over and she swiped at them angrily. “Dammit, Zakk.”

“Aw, don’t cry.” He hugged her tightly and she wrapped her arms around his neck.

“Okay,” she whispered. “One last time. You and me bringing home a medal for the U.S.”

“Gold,” he whispered back.

She sniffed. “Nothing like putting on the pressure.”

---

Playing hockey the next morning, Dani felt lighter than she had in a long time. Between the talk with Zakk and finally making headway on her paper, she felt calmer about her decision. Though a tiny part of her still struggled with accepting more money from Zakk, it would be churlish to deny herself this opportunity out of misplaced pride. Zakk had the money and gave it freely, so why not do something she’d never forget? Win or lose, it would be the experience of a lifetime, and now that she’d allowed herself to go forward, she was excited about it. Even if their team didn’t win, her brother wouldn’t let her make a fool of herself, and they’d been working to prepare her for months.

“Tessa needed the car and dropped me off, so would you mind giving me a ride home?” Sergei’s deep but well-modulated voice snapped Dani back to the present.

She nodded. “Oh, sure. You ready?”

They packed their things into her SUV and she turned it towards home.

“You look good,” he said quietly. “You’re going to kick ass and take names come September.”

She glanced over at him in surprise. “Thanks. It’s pretty scary, but I’m getting excited.”

“You’ll move to Colorado Springs in September?”

“Yes. There’s centralized living and practice starting in early September and going all the way until we leave for the Olympics. It’s pretty intense.”

“Sounds like an amazing opportunity.”

“I guess so.”

“You don’t sound convinced,” he said in surprise.

“It’s complicated,” she murmured.

“I can’t think of any reason I’d turn down the opportunity to play in the Olympics, other than an injury or family emergency.”

“You can afford it.” She shrugged. “It’s totally different for me.”

“Zakk’s helping you, isn’t he?”

She was glad she’d had to stop at a red light so she could turn and glare at him. “Is that how you do the things you want to do? By asking your brother to pay for them?”

Sergei opened his mouth but nothing came out and he narrowed his eyes slightly. “I’ve obviously put my foot in my mouth again, but I’m not sure what I said.”

She sighed. “I’m sorry. I’m a little defensive about it because what if Zakk couldn’t afford it? How would I do it then?”

“How do other athletes do it?” he countered.

“I don’t know,” she grumbled, “but I’m tired of being in debt. Tired of my brother paying for things for me. He bought me this SUV, he paid for me to stay in North Dakota to work on my master’s… Now he’s paying for this. I hate it. I’ll probably never be able to repay him.”

“Why would you repay him? You’re family.”

She snorted. “I’m sure you’d be perfectly okay letting Toli pay for everything while you follow a dream.”

“You’re not sitting on the couch smoking weed all day,” Sergei protested. “You’re doing something exciting, something very few people are skilled enough to do, much less find the time and money. I wouldn’t hesitate for something like this.”

“Well, I’ve made the decision and I’m doing it. I just feel a little guilty. It feels like I’ve been taking money from my family for too long.”

“From what I can tell, your family loves you and wants to do it.”

She was quiet for a bit before opting to change the subject. “So, what do you think of Anchorage?”

He didn’t say anything at first. “It’s okay.”

“The city, the team, or everything?”

“Everything,” he chuckled. “The team seems to be going through some growing pains. They haven’t found their footing as a new team the way the Sidewinders have.”

“That’s to be expected. The Sidewinders have been a bit of an anomaly.”

“For sure.”

“What about everything else? The weather? Location? Nightlife?”

“It’s beautiful, but I have no idea about nightlife. I pretty much played hockey and worked out. Period. I’m in an apartment with a month-to-month lease, with most of my personal belongings in storage. I haven’t got a clue where Niko will go to preschool, where we’re going to live, if I’m going to buy or rent or even where to start looking… I guess there’s a part of me that can’t believe I got traded to Alaska.”

He let out a short laugh that made Dani snicker.

“It does sound a little surreal.”

“It’s a rough organization,” he said hesitantly. “I don’t want to bad-mouth the team that’s paying me the kind of money I’m making, but if you were my sister, I wouldn’t want you there on your own.”

“I can take care of myself.” She smiled. “Trust me.”

“I’m sure you can. It’s just… Well, you’re not my sister.”

She snorted. “No, and I already have an overprotective big brother, so I don’t need another one.”

“I’m sure you don’t.”