Dani got up and ran with Toli and Zakk every morning at five. It was better to run before the sun was up or it got too hot, so they did it early. Toli and Zakk normally ran every other day, but since Dani had gone on her own on their off days, they’d started going every day. Hockey season would start for them in a month anyway, so they didn’t mind ramping up their workout regimens. Dani worked harder, though, running every morning, weightlifting every other afternoon, and getting the old gang together to play hockey as often as they were available. Sometimes she ran at night, too, after the sun went down. Pushing herself physically was the only way to fight through the emotions she was dealing with and it was the easiest way to distract herself.

It also kept her out of the house. She loved Zakk, Tiff, and the kids, but they were their own family, one that she wasn’t truly a part of. Zakk and Tiff often put the kids to bed and then went up to bed themselves, lost in whatever they did when they were alone together. She knew they had a great sex life because Tiff talked about it a lot, but she didn’t like to think about her brother having sex. Hell, she didn’t want to think about anyone else having sex right now because she missed it.

She missed sex, she missed Niko, she missed Sara, and she practically ached for Sergei. Her mind, her body, her very soul longed for his touch, and if she hadn’t been living it, she would’ve laughed at anyone who said something like that aloud. She didn’t, of course. She usually told Sara those types of things, but not in the current situation. She didn’t dare tell Tessa or Tiff, because it would get back to Zakk, who thought she was fine and simply getting ready for hockey. No one knew how her heart broke a little more each day she didn’t hear from Sergei. Though she often spoke to Niko, it was through Sara and her contact with Sergei had dwindled down to almost nothing in the two weeks since he’d been gone. Sara said he was quiet too, keeping to himself a lot except when he worked out with Aaron. Otherwise, he spent time with Niko and went to bed when he did.

Sara was lonely, too, but for different reasons. She said Sergei was polite but kept his distance unless it had to do with Niko, so she didn’t have anyone to talk to either.

It sucked for all of them, Dani thought as she jogged home from her late-night run. She’d been restless tonight, so it was nearly ten o’clock and she was just getting back from a five-mile run. It probably wouldn’t be a good idea to get up at five to run yet again, but she wasn’t sure what else to do. Pushing her body was the only thing keeping her from losing her mind emotionally.

“Hey.” Zakk’s deep voice resonated through the kitchen as she came in through the garage and she stopped, still breathing hard.

“Hey. Why are you still up?”

“Came down for a drink and noticed your bedroom door open. Tiff said you’ve been running a lot at night. Are you running in the morning and again at night, Dani?”

She nodded. “Yeah, sometimes.”

“You’ve been working out seven days a week for the last two weeks and you know as well as I do your body needs time to recover and heal.”

“I’m heading into training,” she said lightly, grabbing a bottle of water out of the fridge. “I’m fine.”

“Don’t bullshit me, Dani. What’s going on?”

“Nothing. It’s the Olympics, Zakk. I need to be in the shape of my life.”

“You said you wanted to stay in Vegas because you missed everyone so much, yet we never see you unless we need help with the kids. Royce said he called to see if you wanted to go play pool with him and Tore and you said no.” Royce and Tore were his teammates on the Sidewinders, and Dani was close to them.

“Tore wants to sleep with me and Royce uses me as a stand-in so girls leave him alone. I don’t have time for either of those things right now.”

“Other than working out, what else do you do? Didn’t you stay so you could spend time with us? Your family and friends?”

“Yeah, of course, but—”

“Oh, just stop.” He put up a hand, palm out. “What happened between you and Sergei?”

“Nothing.”

He shook his head. “I don’t believe he just randomly broke up with you, knowing you were leaving in a month anyway. A guy in his situation, where we’re all friends and practically family, wouldn’t do that. He would let you leave and then say the relationship fell apart because of the distance. Unless you cheated on him or something, but I’d bet my left nut you didn’t, so tell me.”

“Zakk, I’m an adult and this is my personal life. Please leave it alone.”

“Either you tell me or I’ll ask him,” he called after her as she headed for the stairs.

“He’ll tell you to mind your own business too,” she called back.

As soon as she got upstairs, she texted Sergei:

My brother is fishing for info about what’s going on with us, so if he really does call you (he threatened to), tell him to mind his own business. Thanks. D.

She got in the shower and let the lukewarm water course over her. It felt good. Her muscles were sore after going so hard the last two weeks. Zaak was right; she needed to give herself a day of rest, so she’d sleep in tomorrow and spend time in the pool with the kids. Maybe have a beer or two, watch a movie. It would be a good day to think of nothing. Especially not Sergei.

After pulling on an oversized T-shirt and clean panties, she sat cross-legged on her bed and grabbed her phone.

Three missed calls from Sergei and then a text:

If you don’t pick up I’ll call Zakk myself.

She called him back, shaking her head.

“Dani?”

“I was in the shower,” she said mildly. “I’d gone for a run.”

“Why does Zakk want to talk to me?”

“Because he thinks I’m working out too hard and you must’ve done something pretty bad for me not to want to go back to Anchorage with you.”

He sighed.

“I told him you didn’t and he wouldn’t let it go.”

Sergei chuckled. “Honey, he’s your big brother. Either he’s on the phone with Toli now or they’ll be talking about it in the morning.”

“Jesus, I’m a fucking adult. I wish everyone would stop mothering me!”

“Easy, honey. He cares about you. As do I.”

“Yeah, well, you gave up that right.”

“I did not. I can care about anyone I choose.”

He was trying to be funny but she wasn’t in the mood. “Honestly, I’m fine. Yeah, I’m a little bummed… I miss you. I won’t lie about that, and I’m probably cranky because I’m late getting my—” She stopped abruptly.

“Getting your?” he prompted.

“Sleep,” she said quickly. “I’ve been working out too much.”

“Getting my sleep?” he repeated. “Or maybe getting your period?”

“That’s not what I was going to say.”

“Dani, could you be pregnant?”

“Not unless you forgot to use a condom. I just… I might be a little late.”

“Are you usually?”

“No, but I don’t usually run ten miles a day for two weeks or lift as much as I’ve been lifting, either.”

He blew out a breath. “You should take a test.”

“Yeah, I will.”

“Dani, you have to tell me. This isn’t something you should handle on your own.”

“Again with the insinuation that I can’t take care of myself!” she huffed. “I’m pretty sure I’m not; we were always careful, but I’ll let you know. I have to go.” She disconnected, feeling like a big baby, but this was the last thing she needed. Fuck. This was not part of her plan.

---

Dani sat on the closed toilet seat taking long deep breaths. She’d been a little nauseated but it was starting to pass. One line. Negative. Negative. Negative. The test was fucking negative. She’d done the math, looked up the dates she would have been most fertile and how pregnant she could be. Technically, since a woman’s body wasn’t a machine, it was possible to have conceived the last time they’d made love, which had been exactly sixteen days ago. But it might be too soon to show up on a test. However, this one was negative and she breathed a huge sigh of relief.

Instead of calling, she took a picture of the test and texted it to Sergei with just one word:

Negative.

She’d wait a week and take one more if she still didn’t get her period, but for now, everything was okay. She needed a beer and breakfast, in that order.

---

Negative.

Sergei stared at the phone for a long time when he got her message.

Negative.

She wasn’t pregnant. She was going to take another test in a few days, she’d added in a subsequent text thirty minutes later, but she was confident they were okay.

So why didn’t he feel relieved? All he’d felt when she’d slipped about not getting her period was excitement. What the fuck was that about? He didn’t want another kid.

You love kids.

Shut up.

You and Dani would make beautiful babies.

Shut the fuck up.

He had to shake his head to stop talking to himself—and answering.

She’d been in his life for about two and a half months and gone for two and a half weeks but it was like someone had rolled over him with a boulder. He missed her so much it felt like there was a crater in his chest. This was different than anything he’d experienced with a woman before. When Tatiana had died he’d been grief-stricken and in shock; now he was just a zombie, going through the motions each day.

Sara was great, keeping the house tidy in between cleanings from the service, taking stellar care of Niko and even going to the gym with him because it seemed wasteful not to use Dani’s membership. Other than that, though, they didn’t interact a lot. She kept a respectful distance, making sure not to wear anything too skimpy to bed and always fully dressed when she came downstairs. He’d caught her in the freezer getting ice cream at two in the morning once, but though she was braless, her nightshirt covered her bottom and she’d had on little shorts underneath. She was cute, but not Dani, and she’d told him flat out she wasn’t interested in any kind of booty call. That was fine with him because he had zero desire to even look at another woman, much less the best friend of the woman he loved.

Yeah, he’d come to that conclusion the moment she’d made the comment about her late period. The excitement that coursed through him had been immediate and he couldn’t deny he would’ve been happy if she’d turned up pregnant. Even if it meant her Olympic dreams would be over. A baby would bring her back to him, which had been all he’d thought about since he’d left her in Vegas. He still believed he’d done the right thing in letting her go, but not if there was a baby. They’d been careful, though. Well, he’d been careful. She hadn’t been involved in the protection department, but he couldn’t think of a single time he’d forgotten or seen any visible breakages.

“Is she really okay?” he blurted out at lunch, catching Sara off guard as she cut Niko’s grilled cheese into four diagonal pieces.

She looked up. “Don’t put me in the middle, Sergei. She’s my best friend and you’re my boss.”

“I’m not your boss,” he said impatiently. “I mean, yes, you’re taking care of Niko for me and I’m paying you, but I’m not your boss in a traditional sense. I trust you with my child, so that makes us almost family, or at the very least friends.”

She smiled. “That’s nice, and I feel that way, too, but I won’t betray her to you.”

“How is telling me if she’s okay a betrayal?”

“Sergei. You were her first everything. You think she’s just gone on her merry way without a second thought?” She sighed heavily. “You two are so freakin’ stubborn, but that’s not my business. Here’s what I’ll tell you: Overall, she’s fine. She leaves for Colorado next week and is super excited about the Olympics. Is she a little sad? Sure. But that’s to be expected. Just don’t lead her on, Sergei. If you don’t think you can love her, let her go. Please.”

A prickle of shame made him drop his head because she was right. He’d been subconsciously hanging on to her, hoping to keep her thinking about him, so maybe someday… But there was no someday. She had a brilliant future ahead of her and he would only drag her down. He had to remember why he’d ended it in the first place and that was the right thing to do. It would suck, but he had to pull away even more. Unless a subsequent pregnancy test turned up positive, there couldn’t be any more contact. Outside of Niko, of course, but Sara could handle that.

“You’re right,” he said aloud. “I won’t contact her again.”

She let out a huff of exasperation. “Don’t be a jerk. If you go cold turkey it’ll screw with her head during the first week of practice with the Olympic team! Dude, don’t make it blatant.”

He chuckled at her look of indignation. “You’re right. Sorry, I’m just trying to navigate all these…feelings.”

Sara arched a brow. “Feelings? Like guilt? Or feelings like…feelings.”

“I don’t know, but it doesn’t matter. She’s better off without me. You said so yourself.”

“I said no such thing. I said not to lead her on if you don’t love her. If you have feelings for her, that’s a totally different thing.”

“Do you know what happened to my first two wives?”

“I know Tatiana died. I don’t know anything about your first wife.”

He wasn’t sure why he felt compelled to tell her about Maria and Tanya, but he did. She needed to understand how broken he was, so she would know he was doing the right thing. So someone would agree with him and the heaviness in his heart would lift. Maybe. Hopefully. Because he was in love with Danielle Cloutier and letting her go sucked ass.