A chill hung in the air. The wind whipped around the buildings and the clouds drew together blocking out the sun overhead.

Bianca sat inside the diner with her back to the door. An older man with thinning gray hair sat across from her, a folded newspaper in front of him. In the middle of the horseshoe booth were the twins. They were easily recognizable from the photos, if not from the striking resemblance to Bianca. One brother stared down at a cell phone in his hands and the other moved a pencil over a pad of paper in front of him. Bianca twirled the straw of her drink and even without seeing her face I knew she was nervous.

Nervous I wouldn’t show or nervous for me to meet her family? After the way she’d run out of my apartment last night I was guessing both. My palms were sweaty as I reached for the diner door and I tried to trick myself by telling my brain this was just a breakfast with a friend and her family. No big deal.

But it was a very fucking big deal.

I didn’t do parents or families. Hell, I barely did people outside of the strict columns I kept. Work, gym, Leika, college buddies, clients. I’d put Bianca in a column, but nothing about her was that tidy and neat. She bled from column to column and outside of the lines in a way that I didn’t know where to place her or how to categorize her.

Her father spotted me first over the top of his glasses, looking me over in that way that dads do – measuring and judging if I was good enough for his daughter. I’d like to save him the trouble and let him know up front that I wasn’t, but instead I placed my hand on the back of Bianca’s chair and smiled politely at the man in front of her.

“You made it.” Bianca stood and hugged me. A surprising gesture, but one that put me more at ease. She pulled back and looked to the other members at the table who were now all openly assessing me. “This is Court. Court this is my dad, Glenn, and my brothers Leo and Donnie.”

I offered a hand to Mr. Winters which he accepted and pumped once firmly.

“We’re glad you could join us,” he said and motioned to an empty spot next to Bianca.

There was a noticeable absence to the group, but I didn’t ask where Bianca’s mom was.

“Coffee?” Bianca asked too cheery as she moved for the pot sitting in the middle of the table.

“That’d be great.”

I was grateful for something to do while the awkward silence hung in the air. I was sweating and miserable and wondering why I’d thought there was any way I could do this. Then my gaze slid to Bianca.

Her.

Her.

“So, Court, Bianca says you two met on a flight. You travel back and forth pretty often?” her father asked, and I was thankful he’d thrown me a softball.

“I do quite a bit of travel, but I’ve just got the one client in Connecticut, so I only get out that way about once a month.”

He nodded and looked like he might say more when the waitress stepped up to the table. The woman had an obvious shake to her hands even as she just stood there. I forced my gaze to her eyes in that way we all do when we’re trying not to make someone with an illness or deformity feel uncomfortable by staring at the root of their discomfort. I dismissed the idea it was drug related, she looked fragile but not strung out. MS, maybe?

I prepared to give her a polite smile and wait for her to take our orders, but when I met her eyes I froze. Bianca’s mom. I knew it even before I heard Bianca make the introduction.

She wore a nametag that said Lucy and an anxious, tired smile. All of this I noted, but what made my mouth go dry was the blue eye makeup. Less obvious than the heavy hand Bianca put hers on with, Mrs. Winters’s makeup had a more outdated feel. It was the type of look that said I’ve been doing this for thirty years and no one is going to tell me it’s not in style anymore. Everything clicked into place for me. Everything Bianca had hinted at but not said. Bianca adored her mother – she loved her fiercely and protectively. And her mother was sick.

I looked to Bianca and instead of the fun and playful look I’d always associated with her blue rimmed eyes, I now saw a girl who dared anyone to harm the people she loved. Electric blue armor.

I stood and took Mrs. Winters’s hand gently. A gesture I could tell took her by surprise in the best of ways.

“It’s great to meet you Mrs. Winters. You’ve raised a really lovely daughter,” I said, and peered down at Bianca, suddenly afraid I’d said or done all the wrong things, but her smile was reassuring.

Bianca’s mom grinned too and then shooed me back to my seat.

“Bianca is lovely all on her own. Always has been.” She cast a quick loving look down at her daughter and my insides actually hurt at the familial love at the table. What would it have been like to be part of a family like this? It was a question I hadn’t allowed myself to ask. Ever.

“I’m sorry I can’t join you for breakfast. We’re short staffed this morning.” She pointed with a pen around the busy diner.

“I want pancakes,” Leo spoke without looking up from his sketch pad.

“Me too,” Donnie said, pulling his gaze from his cell but only for a quick glance at his mother.

“Me three,” Bianca said looking young and shy as she glanced to me. “Their pancakes are the best.”

“I guess me four then.”

“Just wheat toast and fruit for me,” her father said with a grimace.

“Doctor told him he has high cholesterol,” Bianca whispered in my ear as she handed her mom our menus. With a conspiratorial smile, she scooted closer to me.

I watched Mrs. Winters out of the corner of my eye. Her gait was off, not slow but unsteady. Why hadn’t Bianca told me? And immediately I resented all the things I didn’t know. The things I hadn’t thought to ask because I was a selfish prick who didn’t ask the type of questions that invited others to share about their families.

“Leo, what’s the name of that band you like, The Black something or other – six letters.” Mr. Winters stared down at his crossword puzzle, pencil in hand.

Leo looked up from his sketch. “The Black Crowes.”

“That’s not it. Crows is only five letters.”

“It’s The Black Crowes,” he said again in that teenage way that pushed he was right without further explanation.

“There’s an e in it – C-R-O-W-E-S,” I said as I lifted the coffee mug to my lips.

Leo really looked at me for the first time, studying me. “You’re a fan of The Black Crowes?”

I could hear his accusation that it wasn’t possible I had any clue about a band as deep and dark as The Black Crowes. I guessed looking at me today it’d be hard to read beyond the nice clothes and practiced demeanor, so I didn’t flinch too much at his reaction.

“Sure, I saw their Say Goodnight to the Bad Guys show in electric and acoustic.”

“Bad ass. Did they do any Beatles covers?”

“Yeah a couple.”

“God, that had to have been nuts.”

I thought back to not only the concert, but also that time in my life. I’d been a train wreck. I guess most people probably looked back at their twenties with some sort of mature cringing. “Yeah, it was pretty insane. Are you into other early nineties bands?”

Bianca groaned loudly.

“Oh no, you didn’t?” She shook her head playfully and I looked from her to Leo who just smirked. “You had to ask didn’t you.” She stood and motioned for me to get up. “We might as well switch spots so you two can go all fanboy.”

I didn’t miss the pleased smile she gave me. A thousand things communicated between us.

Her: Thank you for coming.

Me: Thank you for inviting me.

Me: I like your family.

Her: I appreciate your trying to talk to my brother.

It turned out Leo and I had a similar taste in lots of things from music to movies to video games. The pancakes came, and I dug in with the rest of the family.

Bianca and her father poured over the crossword between bites, Donnie bounced between the puzzle and mine and Leo’s conversation. He was more reserved with his words than Leo, but he hadn’t made me feel like an outsider, giving me the same courtesies he gave everyone else at the table, so I guessed that was something.

What I didn’t miss was the way Bianca stole glances at me. Her face was so full of love for her family and happiness just sitting around a table with them barely talking. The only time I noticed a crack in her happiness was when her mom came to the table. It was a sort of sad, resigned look that she peered up at her mother with and I’d have loved nothing more than to stand up and tell Mrs. Winters to take my seat and let me be the one to wait on them. I didn’t because one, that would be weird as shit and two, I’d have made for a lousy server, but it seemed all wrong sitting and enjoying the morning when she should have been in my spot.

“How were the pancakes?” she asked me as she cleared the plates.

I patted my stomach in response. “Best pancakes I’ve ever had.”

She shot me a delighted smile and then fixed her stare on the twins. “Boys, did you finish your resumes so your sister could take a look before she leaves?”

A murmur of groans were the only responses from beside me. I interjected, hoping to ease some of the heat it looked like they were about to take. “What kind of jobs are you looking for?”

Leo shrugged. “Mom thinks we need a summer job to keep us busy.”

“You do,” she stated sternly. “and it’ll look good on your college applications next year, too.”

“My company is looking for interns. It’s mostly cold calling and data entry, but the company is great, and the office is down near Bryant Park.” I gave a small shrug to let them know I wouldn’t be offended if they weren’t interested.

“That’s really nice of you,” Bianca’s mom said and gave the boys a pointed stare.

Bianca raised her eyebrows and narrowed her eyes slightly. “Yes, it is nice of you.”

The boys murmured some mild interest in the idea and I opened my wallet and gave them my card with instructions to email me their resumes if they were interested, if not, no big deal.

I insisted on paying, which appeared to cause some annoyance to Mr. Winters, but it felt like the least I could do. Bianca’s mom returned with my card and a receipt and handed it to me with an embarrassed smile. “I get a discount for family.”

I smiled and nodded as I slipped the card back into my wallet. I scribbled out my signature after providing what I hoped was a generous tip without coming across as outrageous.

“It was real nice to meet you Court,” Bianca’s mother said as we all stood from the table to leave.

“You too, Mrs. Winters.”

“We’ll hope to see more of you when Bianca moves back,” her father surprised me by saying.

I swallowed a lump in my throat. “I’d like that.”

As the odd man out, I shuffled awkwardly toward the door. I flipped my hand up in a small wave and met Bianca’s piercing blues. “See ya later?”

She nodded. “I’ll walk with you.”

When we were outside, she linked her arm with mine. “Thank you for coming. I’m sorry if –”

“No, don’t be sorry.” I turned to face her. “Don’t be sorry about them. Ever.”

We continued walking a slow pace to the curb, stopping when we were at the corner. I wanted to ask about her mother, about Todd, about everything – I’d let too many opportunities go by without letting her in and now I wanted to open her wide and spill every detail no matter how small and insignificant to her. None of it was insignificant to me.

“Your mom –” I stopped, not sure how to ask, but she understood.

“She has Parkinson’s disease. She was diagnosed about four years ago, but it’s progressing faster now. We’re not sure how much longer she’ll be able to work or…” her voice trailed off.

“I’m sorry.”

She shrugged, and my emotions moved up and down like her shoulders. What would it be like to have an amazing family and watch the people you love crumble before you? I didn’t know, but I could see it took a toll on my 8B.

“They liked you,” she said and brushed her windblown hair out of her face.

“I liked them, too,” I admitted.

“Bianca, we’re leaving,” Donnie called from down the sidewalk and she turned and held up a finger that she’d be there in one minute before turning back to me.

“I gotta go, but I’ll talk to you later?”

“Yeah. You’ve got my number.” I cringed at the way it sounded.

I’d come here to make sure we were on the same page. That page being that I wanted to repeat the last couple days over and over. I’d come here to tell her our story was just starting and to slam shut the chapters of Todd for good. But I didn’t know how to get all that out standing on the curb while her family watched on and waited impatiently for her to join them.

I leaned forward, planted a kiss on her temple and gave her side a squeeze. As I did, I inhaled her scent and had to resist the urge to wrap my arms around her and kiss her the way I wanted to. The way I’d come here to do.

“Later, 8B.”

She took a few steps backward, watching me with a coy smile before she turned and hurried to catch up with her family.