I was restless throughout the flight. An hour with no communication to Bianca, and I was antsy. Irritated. Nervous. I’d helped her get all done up to impress and instead of feeling good about what I’d done, I was a half-hoping Todd was too much of a prick to see what was right in front of him.

He’d invited her there for a reason though. A reason I was sure had everything to do with getting her naked.

My irritation sent an unsettling cloud over me so when I made it back to New York I kept my phone off and grabbed dinner before heading to my apartment.

When I finally dropped my overnight bag in the entryway of my apartment, I allowed myself to turn on my cell. It was quarter past nine and for as little as I’d learned about Bianca, I knew she was already at Todd’s. She was a girl that arrived on time. Probably five minutes early with a gift for the host. Fucking Todd didn’t deserve her.

Or maybe I was projecting. I didn’t deserve someone like her and that made my chest constrict with emotions I hadn’t tapped into for years.

I opened our text message conversation and flipped back to the pictures she’d sent. I’d chosen her outfit based on what I knew about Todd, but it wasn’t the one that I went back to.

No, I wanted Bianca just as she’d been the day I met her. Fun. Carefree. A beautiful mess. I stared at her unsmiling face. She’d taken the photo with her phone using a full-length mirror in what appeared to be her bedroom. She looked down at the camera in her hand, but the image that reflected back in the mirror was a casual Bianca in worn jeans and an off the shoulder shirt.

Her easy beauty was hard to turn away from. I liked that she was more comfortable this way as much as I hated that she was trying to win over someone that needed to see her another way in order to get his attention. And I was helping.

My jealousy gave way to a genius idea and I typed out a quick text to Bianca with a smug grin. She was gonna be pissed as hell. I’d gotten a glimpse of her fiery side the night Todd had dropped her for another girl and I figured my instructions were going to go over about as well.

When she didn’t immediately reply, I typed out another text to Leika to see if she could meet up for a drink. She responded immediately, and I hurried out of my apartment to meet her.

Leika and I had spent four years in the same foster home and she was as close to family as I had. She understood me. Understood who I was then and who I am now. She’d been one of the few from our circle, besides me, to go on to college and hold on to a full-time job. We were the lucky ones. The kids who had been blessed with enough grit and determination to not let our shitty past determine the rest of our lives. At least not in a way that was obvious.

My phone pinged, and I smiled before I even read the message.

Bianca: LEAVE? Why? I just got here.

Me: Be polite, but vague. Tell him you’re sorry but you have somewhere else you need to be. And this is important… say something like ‘we should do this again sometime’ and then get out of there.

When my phone rang two minutes later I was expecting it. It didn’t stop a victory grin from spreading across my face though.

“Hello?” I answered like I wasn’t expecting her.

“What the hell?” Bianca’s voice came in a raspy whisper.

“Did he look disappointed?”

“I think confused is a better word. I am too. What was that all about?”

“You don’t want to be too available.”

“I thought you said I needed to be around or he’d find someone else.”

“That’s true, but it needs to be a little bit of a challenge. He should be texting you any minute.”

“I don’t think so. Todd doesn’t do that.”

I rolled my eyes at the shit this dude had been filling her head with. “He doesn’t text? Bullshit. Maybe he says that as an out for blowing people off, but everyone texts when it suits them.”

“I feel like I just completely screwed up any shot I had with him. What if that was my one chance?”

“Trust me, 8B.”

The line crackled with what sounded like Bianca letting out a breath.

“I –”

Silence and then I heard Bianca gasp, and I knew. I knew she’d just received a text from Todd. Feeling like I’d just hit a grand slam, I raised both hands in the air, mentally taking my bases before I put the phone back to my ear.

“Oh my God. It’s him.”

“What’d he say?”

“It says, ‘Way to leave a guy hanging’ with a wink smiley face.”

God this guy grated on me with his every move.

“What do I text back?”

“Nothing. He texted you because he realized he isn’t your top priority. He doesn’t like that, but he respects it. If you text him back you’re negating that. Listen I gotta go. Good job, Bianca. Remember, no texting him back until tomorrow.”

I hung up the phone and nodded to Leika who was already sitting at our usual table in the back of the bar. Her boyfriend, Jeff, sat next to her and for a moment, seeing them together and happy, made me pause in appreciation. Too much time at work, rubbing elbows with people that had no clue there was a life outside of their penthouse and seemingly-never-ending cashflow, made me itchy and claustrophobic, but Leika and Jeff were good people and I could always relax around them.

“Look at you all fancy and shit.” Leika stood and eyed me with a smirk.

Loosening the tie around my neck, I wrapped my free arm around her and she molded her petite body into my side.

“I just got back.”

She pulled back and gave me a wary look as we took a seat across the table from each other.

“How’ve you been?” I asked as I poured a beer from the pitcher sitting between us.

Leika leaned back into the booth and crossed her arms over her chest. Dressed in jeans and a U2 t-shirt, she looked younger than thirty. She ate that shit up, taking full advantage of people underestimating her.

Pushing her red-framed glasses up with one hand, she narrowed her gaze on me. “I’m fine. Good. The same. Work is busy, blah blah. What’s up with you? You look like shit. Are you really going to keep going to Connecticut to work for that man?”

Quirking an eyebrow up, I took a long pull from my glass before I responded to the mouthful she’d just shot at me.

“I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night.” I purposely avoided her other questions.

“How’d it go?” she pressed, and I didn’t miss the concern hidden in the question.

“It was fine. No, it was good. He invited me to his wedding reception next month.”

Leika’s eyes went wide. “Please tell me you’re not going.”

I gave her a big smile, lips pulled up and teeth on display. Unease etched her features, but I ignored it.

Jeff wrapped an arm around her shoulder and I turned my attention to him. “So, you two are still together, huh? I figured you’d have gotten tired of her sassy mouth by now.” I lifted one finger from the hand cupped around the glass to point toward the two of them snuggled up together.

Leika looked embarrassed for a split second but turned the tables quickly back to me. “Maybe you should try spending more than one night with a woman before you start doling out relationship advice.”

I cringed a bit at her words. She was right, and I suddenly had a wave of guilt for the way I’d inserted myself into Bianca’s life. What the hell did I know about love or relationships? Too bad for her she hadn’t been sitting next to someone on that flight that had actually been in a real relationship.

“You alright man? She was just busting your balls. We know how hard you’re working, traveling all the time, working shit hours when you are in town. You’ll meet someone when the time is right.”

Leika rolled her eyes at him.

“I dunno. I’m not sure I’m cut out to be tied down.”

Leika reached across the table and grabbed my hand for only a second. A quick squeeze and then she pulled her hand back to her side. Physical contact like this between us was rare and I knew she was making an effort to make a point. “You are, or you will be when you meet the right woman.”

Leika knew my past better than anyone. Knew the abuse – physical and emotional that came from being bounced around through the formative years. Jeff had grown up with a happy childhood, but he seemed to understand where we came from. Or at least respected it. I might give them shit but it was amazing that they’d found each other. He was good for her and my big brother instincts knew he’d take care of her.

I’d been wrong to come here, though. I needed to be alone to remember who I was and why I lived my life the way I did. Leika wanted more for me and Bianca’s sweet innocence had triggered something that had me questioning if I was as happy with my life as I’d thought.

I waited for the first lull in conversation, which felt like an eternity even though the evening had been pleasant enough, to excuse myself. Downing the rest of my beer, I stood and tossed a twenty on the table. “Thanks for the drink and pep talk. I’m tired as shit. See you two later.”

I walked the two blocks from the bar to my apartment slowly. I hadn’t lied. I was exhausted, but I wasn’t ready to go home.

Home. The word didn’t mean much to me. It had never been a place for me and if it was, it wasn’t the safe, comforting haven that others associated with the word and place.

Maybe it was why I’d chosen a career where I traveled so much and why I preferred isolation to committed relationships. What could I possibly offer another human being?

I didn’t know the first thing about love or relationships, but I knew people and how to do what was necessary to get by. It was what made me good at analyzing risks for companies and it was what made me good at reading people like Todd.

I might not be able to find it for myself, but I needed to do everything I could to see that Bianca found hers. I had a feeling she deserved it and I wanted people like her, people like me, to come out on top for once.