Chapter 21
Ava
“You’re not wearing panties,” Logan finally breaks the silence between us, and his observation is strangely hilarious to me. I burst into laughter while lying flat on my back beside him.
“What? You’re not,” he looks over to me.
“No, I’m not.”
Logan’s even more handsome than I remember. Moving my hand to his face, I trace the jawline that got us into all this trouble. When I walked in to find him growling into the phone, his mouth tight with anger, my defenses melted away.
“I missed you, Ava.” His voice is soft and vulnerable, like the Logan I knew in Turkey and Greece.
“Logan, I was very upset with you today. I actually came here to give you a piece of my mind.”
“Your body is equally as tantalizing though.” He leans in for what I think will be a kiss, but instead, he just rubs the tip of his nose against mine.
“Why did you send me that stuff today?” I lean up on my elbow to ask.
“What stuff?”
“A letter from your lawyer, an NDA… money!”
“Oh, yeah… I, uh…” he begins, but I remain silent, unwilling to bail him out. I need to understand his reasoning, because despite my physical weakness, I’m still tattered mentally.
“I didn’t know what to do. You wouldn’t take my calls. You weren’t at work anymore. I thought I’d ruined your dream and it fucked me up. I’d never want you to stop doing what you love because I couldn’t stand to let you go,” he explains, sitting up.
“But why did you feel the need to hire me in the first place? I never even rejected you.”
“You were trying to put me on hold, like, I needed to wait for you to have time. I couldn’t wait. I wanted you then. I needed you then. So, I was desperate and stupid.”
“You thought you’d throw money at me like I’m a whore?” I sit up to look him in his eyes as his face reddens with fury.
“I would never treat you as anything less than a queen, you know that. I just didn’t know what to do, and I tend to throw money at problems I can’t solve. I didn’t mean to offend you, I swear.”
“I don’t want your money, Logan. I told you that in Istanbul,” I remind him.
“In the bathtub,” he says with a smile.
“Exactly. I told you I wasn’t interested in that,” I struggle to understand him.
“Yeah, but you also told me that you wanted me, and time with me, but then you didn’t,” he looks directly into my eyes, and for the first time I can see that he’s been hurting as much as I have.
“Logan, you tricked me. You lied, and that made me feel like everything else was a lie.”
“But it wasn’t, Ava.” He clenches his jaw, looking away as he gathers himself before continuing.
“I deceived you, yes. I can’t deny that. I wanted you around me, and there was nothing I wouldn’t do to make that happen. But, I was wrong for taking advantage of you and impeding your business. I never meant to jeopardize your integrity. I was only thinking of myself.” He leans in, his hand cradling the nape of my neck as he looks deeply into my eyes.
“I’ll spend my life making this up to you,” he whispers, and despite everything, I believe him.
“I still don’t want your money, Logan,” I assure him, choosing not to address his request for forgiveness.
“I know, but I do owe you for what we did do and you never billed me.”
“What we did was never professional, Logan. From the beginning, we teetered on the line of inappropriate behavior until we fell off the ledge. I can’t accept money for what I know was never legit,” I shake my head, set on my decision.
“I respect your feelings, really I do. But that’s not fair. You canceled all your clients and made yourself completely available, even traveling with me. We had an agreement, and just because I fucked up doesn’t make everything null and void. You have to let me pay for what I did receive,” he pleads with his eyes.
“You received me. We had sex.”
“First, what we have is so much more than sex, and you know that. Second, that wasn’t all we did. I made an agreement with you to pay for your time. I may have made that deal on false pretenses, but you fulfilled our agreement and I should have the opportunity to do the same.”
“Is this how you are in the boardroom?” I ask, feeling overwhelmed by his insistence.
“Oh, I’m much worse,” he smirks.
“I’ll think about it,” I tell him and he seems less than satisfied, but thankfully he doesn’t press it further.
“I know this is going to sound crazy, but I’m happy you found out. I’ve never wanted any secrets between us.”
“But now there’s really no reason for us to even be in the same room,” I say.
“Are you seriously going to do this to me?”
“Do what?” I look on, wide eyed.
“Make me start from scratch. You know I want you, Ava. I get that we can’t pick up where we left off, but let’s not pretend there aren’t sparks between us,” he chuckles.
“You can’t possibly think we could be together. We have nothing in common, Logan. What would be the reason for us to try to make something of nothing?”
“Do you love yourself?” He switches the subject.
“What?”
“Just answer the question. Do you love yourself?”
“Yes.”
“So, then we both have that in common.” He leans his head against the glass wall behind him as he watches my reaction.
My mind processes what he said and decides whether he meant what I think. Nodding slowly, he assures me I understand correctly. He loves me.
“Don’t actually say it until you’re one hundred percent sure,” I tell him, and his lips curl upwards until a grin covers his face.
“I promise.”
“We can take it slow, get to know each other and see how we feel,” I suggest.
“I think that’s perfect,” he agrees almost too easily.
“Do you?”
“Yeah. I have to go on another trip and I want you to come with me, this time as my date, purely for pleasure.”
“Oh no! An extended period with just the two of us is the last thing we need,” I shake my head, pushing myself to my feet.
“Ava, you have to stop playing this game with me,” Logan sighs as he follows me to my feet, refastening his pants in the process.
It’s the first time I notice we’re both fully dressed after such an intimate experience. Not a second could be spared with minor details like undressing when our hunger was unbearable.
“I’m not playing any games, Logan. You are.” I place my hand on my hip defiantly. How could he so quickly forget his manipulation and the complications it’s caused?
Blinking slowly, he pulls me to him with one hand on the nape of my neck, while the other rests on the small of my back. Positioning my head upwards, forcing me to look up at him, I see the sincerity and seriousness coursing through his blue eyes.
“Ava, I need you. I’ve thought of nothing but us since our first night together in Istanbul, when you took me to that loud restaurant with awful seating.”
“Awful seating?” I giggle, caught off guard.
“I could barely hear you, and people were walking past us every two seconds, but I didn’t care, because I was with you. Everything I do now I wish you were there to experience it with me. Tell me you haven’t thought of us,” he raises his eyebrows, challenging me.
“Just because I can’t get you out of my head doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to do, Logan. You were once my client, even if it was only in my mind. That makes me uncomfortable and I need you to understand that.”
“Are you uncomfortable now?” He pulls my pelvis flush against the bulge in his pants, and butterflies flutter in my belly.
“How are you still hard?”
“You drive me fucking crazy,” he says so loudly I blush.
“Logan, are you sure they can’t hear?” I ask, turning to the frosted glass windows that line his office.
With his hand wrapped around my wrist, he pulls me to his desk before pushing two buttons. The glass walls instantly clear, revealing a bustling office outside. I can see everyone clearly, but from the look of things they have no idea what’s going on in here.
“Fuck!” I yell, no one so much as flinches, going on as if I’ve not spoken a word.
“Watch your mouth, young lady.” Logan tugs at my earlobe before nuzzling my neck.
“You’ve got a pretty cool office.” I turn to face him.
“I didn’t realize how cool until today.”
“Oh, yeah right. I’m not the first girl who’s been taken down in your office.”
“Ava, I really wish you did know the Logan who everyone talks about. I think that would make it easier for you to understand just how different I am with you.”
“So, you’re seriously going to tell me you’ve never had sex in your office before?” I ask.
“I’ll go even further. I’ve never even had a woman I’ve had sex with in my office before.” He looks at me with absolute sincerity.
“I wouldn’t have expected that.”
“Because you’ve never heard anything about me,” he argues.
“Oh, but I have.”
“Yeah? Do tell,” he prods, his arms wrapping around me tighter while I pretend to squirm away, although I have no desire to be anywhere other than surrounded by him.
“Well, I heard you’re arrogant,” I begin, and he nods like that’s a standard description.
“You’re a spoiled brat, who’s never had to work for anything,” I add, and again he nods, not mentioning a word.
“You use girls for sex, and when you’re done with them, you dump them without question,” I continue, and he looks away.
“That’s pretty much it,” I lie, not wanting to continue to say such harsh things about him once I’ve seen him affected by his reputation.
“Do I seem that way to you?” he asks, still looking away.
“No.” I answer quickly and definitively.
“I’m not that person with you,” he turns, looking through my soul as he speaks.
“I know,” I quietly assure him, leaning into his touch as his strong arms hold my small frame.
“Come to Australia with me,” he kisses me before I can verbally respond, but inside I’m anything but silent.
Australia is another dream destination for me, and knowing Logan, it will be over the top with luxury. It feels like the chance of a lifetime, but because of the way things began between us, I still have my reservations.
“Ava, I won’t expect everything to pick back up like it was, but I can’t have another long break between us after today. I need to know we’re good, and I need to have you near me.”
“And what if we realize we don’t work best as a couple?” I confront what I fear most.
“We’ve already shown that we can have a nice time together without any commitment.”
Inside, my heart is screaming for me to go. I’ve wanted nothing more than to know that what I felt wasn’t fake or fabricated. I wanted to believe that Logan really cared for me like I felt, and he’s given me that.
However, there is still this red flag, reminding me of his conniving start to our relationship. Can we build something stable on a foundation with such a large crack? I’m torn with what to do, but know deep down I can’t walk away from him.
“Please,” he whispers before pressing his soft lips to mine, his eyes closing as I watch his face relax.
“When is this trip?”
“Tomorrow,” he replies nonchalantly.
“Tomorrow?” I repeat in a shocked whisper.
“You don’t need to worry about anything. I’ll take care of everything, you know that,” he leans in kissing my neck.
“Well, I still have to pack,” I contest as a list of things I’ll need to do begin to rattle off in my mind.
“Look, you take Jenn for the rest of the day. She’ll be your personal assistant to get everything you need, run your errands, whatever. They have stores in Australia, so you can get things once we land,” he grins.
“I don’t need an assistant,” I roll my eyes.
“Well, I don’t want you paying for anything.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re cute when you’re confused. The way your nose scrunches up,” he leans in, tugging at my bottom lip with his teeth.
“My nose doesn’t scrunch,” I deny, shaking my head as he walks to his desk, opening his drawer before handing me a card.
“What’s this?” I ask, as the heavy black American Express falls into my hand.
“Use this for anything you buy.”
“No, Logan,” I say sternly, placing the card on his desk.
“Ava.” He says my name like it’s a warning.
“I’ll go to Australia, but I don’t need your assistant or your money to get ready. You’re already paying for the whole trip, and I may make you buy me something while we’re there,” I wink, and his face lights up.
It’s strange to me how excited he gets at the idea of spoiling me.
“I have to go get ready,” I say, walking over to kiss him one last time before I leave.
“I’ll text you all the details,” he calls after me as I walk to the lobby. Glancing back as I open the door, I see the million-dollar smile I love so much, plastered on his face. Just knowing that I’ve brought him such joy makes me feel like the richest woman in the world.
His assistant nervously smiles at me as I make my way through the reception area, most likely fearing that Logan will be mad at her for how I barged in after ignoring her warning about his important meeting.
For a second, I think to tell her she’s got nothing to worry about, but decide it best for her to discover that on her own.
Logan’s office now looks like reflective glass from this side of the wall, but I know he’s watching me, so I wink just before I leave, hoping he sees me.